"tensity" poems
We spark
the kindling in ritual
as souls dance around us;
our bonfire keeps them at bay.
They never stray,
hoping to hold us, hug us,
whisper missings and tidings of comfort
to steady our bones for passage.
We wait
on rotting logs, gazing toward dawn,
entranced by flames and huddled together,
closely, with wet-iced eyelashes.
Our silent breathing scuttles away
on paths of pale white and moist,
out and sifted through our watchers' chests.
Their voices go unheard.
Who would hear conversation
from depths during an eve of fright?
We watch
the orange-red idol wane in the wind.
Odd, no? Shouldn't it be growing?
They're breaking though to us
so we embrace more closely,
latching, heartbeats bumping one another
keeping rhythm, keeping our stillness,
and fevered hands massage our shoulders,
erasing tensity, stiff limbs, lightness.
Smoke escapes our eye sockets
and they smile at our blankened faces.
Who are these people celebrating?
Oct 14, 2012
Oct 14, 2012 at 9:05 PM UTC
We’re tying our shoes-- as we think about the day's gifts
Holding strings-- curling ribbons with latent sweat
"I’'ve heard they’ll pull us through-- we tie around each box
eyelets, through tunnels and catacombs."-- a shimmering luster abetting
beyond the sky.
Today we mourn those drained sausage-limbs at noon-time
--(Sallow-cheeked mistresses and fortunes abounding
for those who have time for such things.)
With tears
--hiding the feelings of those who have none
slapping the ground.
We see
every unfurling light
combine with blots of pity
to fortify prairie grass.
And I remember an old gravel highway that separates my family and church from geologic
build-up which the wind is slowly chewing.
I can't be with them-- like the western, sandy steppes of Nebraska,
I can't hold water, and their loving nourishment sinks through me.
My arms won't be like ribbons, in an embrace of the
dead’s remitting tendrils.
As I lay outstretched on the Sand Hills, shielding my belly from the desert sun;
boring water trapped in caverns under neatly wound sweat-bows and boxes
I, one day, too, cry emaciated tears.
Surely, we are tethered firmly to the spool, dangling with
tensity on the tines of breath, shimmering, aloft-- but also, don’t forget:
We are fastened by a knot above our leather casing
holding the body in-piece and being manipulated at once.
We decorate the boxes, in which we are to lie
with wet, green ribbon, pulled through rocky soil by course, chapped hands.
Mar 1, 2012
Mar 1, 2012 at 2:16 AM UTC
That one thing i craved for..
Only you didn't know
Always on my mind
a drug, poisoning me
A sick addiction
Cutting me off from reality
Each time you pulled me closer
Each time i felt you better
Each time you treaded me more the way i wished for
A one night stand
But the day after i didn't exist anymore
The torture of being nothing
Nothing more than a pleasure
Just a toy, what could i do
Everything was fine with me
As long as i could see you
Never an explanation
Till the day we got together
You cherished me
Like a wolf in sheep skin
And i, the sheep, was trapped
As you kissed my neck
Calling me 'his girl'
You told me you love me
You told me you're afraid i'll leave
You told me you're a selfish man
You told me you're struggling with yourself
The voices, they keep talking to you
I know you're scared
But i love you too.
Now we're here
There's nothing left
No tensity just insanity
You're The razor on my wrist
But the cuts relieve the pain
My biggest mistake but yet my happiness
Afraid to lose you
Pretending I'm fine
Exhausted of waiting
Too Scared to stand up
craving for your attention
waiting patiently till it's my time
You pull me closer to the edge
Pushing me further away from you
Just A tread saving me from the abyss
It's like waiting for the end
Wondering what you're holding behind your back.
Preparing for another day
Closing my eyes as a tear slips through my lashes
Wetting my pillow
Leaving a black stain
Trying to sleep, my thoughts keep me awake.
As i wrap my hands around your neck, holding my breath
Counting to three...
The razor cuts me again
So relieving, but still feels so wrong
I love you and With knives in my heart
I decide to give you one more chance
The last chance
Like i gave yesterday...
Apr 20, 2015
Apr 20, 2015 at 10:29 PM UTC
...There is no element, in existence,
equal, to me,
with the force,
and polarity, of you.
Take me...take me, further in.
I will not,
I could not...ever, resist you.
My will, is hammered carbon;
yet, this contract, of the soul...
it is ironclad.
Draw me,
into the tensity,
of your unbroken field.
Does your ghost, hover
like magnetite,
at the northernmost point,
of its own compass needle?
Does your shadow, dwell
in its arrowhead shape?
Does your heart, steel,
its directional pull?
I cannot pass you by,
but to be drawn,
into the divine gravity,
of your embrace.
Sweet...so sweetly,
do you hold fast, to me.
My lips, shudder,
tremulous,
with an irrepressible urge
to glue themselves
to the nectarine sweetness,
of sunbaked flesh.
Take me...take me, further in.
Leech me, of resistance.
Break me, of my defenses.
Shatter this separation,
that pulses fiercely, between us,
and pin me, to the core, of you.
Keep me, always...
yours, alone;
yours forever...
and worlds, may end,
castles, may rubble.
Entire civilizations,
may fall, to ancient ash,
Before these lips,
could ever dream,
of leaving, you.
Sep 2, 2025
Sep 2, 2025 at 3:35 PM UTC
Remembering the way
you pulled me close to your heart in the promises
of never breaking me
staying here, dancing in my mind
in public
in the dark
making the tensity in my body, release
telling me you love me, keeping yourself hostage
in my body,
i listen deeply.
i am home to you.
Oct 8, 2019
Oct 8, 2019 at 10:20 PM UTC
The strangest stories have no sense of direction,
No respect of Truth,
No pinnacle insurrection.
Alas, the tensity causes the button to pop.
Eyes lowered,
As the other foot drops.
Once seemingly meaningless grains
Suddenly aggregate into disabling pains.
Perspectives contest to be absolute
But not one is;
They're unavoidably destitute.
Decisions are very seldom sound
Since every interpretation
Has flaws to be found.
Emotionalities arise,
Rationality divides
And
A choice invites a new inception;
One that defines a point of inflection.
Jul 10, 2016
Jul 10, 2016 at 12:36 PM UTC
**** you** are so tired.
Enmeshed in your
silk of lies and loved lovers loved while loving me.
How can you say a love shouldn’t be loved
How can you lie about your lover
Especially if you (n)ever loved me.
let it be
what even is "meant to be"
Not tired in the way
you can shut your eyes
and wake up
refreshed
to a new day
But tired in the way
you no longer
sulk and skulk.
just continuously
walk around
inconspicuously
hoping no one
asks
“How are you”
because your answer
has evolved to some effect of:
I am great!
I am good!
I am alright.
I am fine
I am
I exist
and you resist
speaking,
you just keep reading
because
you feel your smile
is not as misleading
as it used to be.
Everyone can see your
eyes are lost
consumed looking for
the reason
for you to lie and love lovers while loving me.
**** you** are so tired
tired in the way
your tenacious tensity
is palpable
unmalleable
unrelenting
to the point of exhaustion
at this point you are just venting
So ******* go away.
May 28, 2015
May 28, 2015 at 12:56 PM UTC
When I’m with you, my being is filled with a comfort unlike anything else.
Although, these words may never leave my heart, for I fear you may think me too attached.
When I walk beside you, I wish to entangle my fingers in yours and interlock my dreary self with your optimistic light.
And although my lips may never shape this feeling to you, truth be truth, inside myself.
When I first enter that room of anxious working early in the morn, before the sun has fully risen, I wish only to fold myself into your warmth and release that which downs me.
But I do hope this longing never reaches you, so that you may never feel burdened by my love.
When we sit close, amongst the chaos, I dearly swear it that I desire to spill the darkness and gold of my ever straining, creating mind to you so that you may understand my inner worldly thoughts.
Yet I shall forever hold my tongue, to not elude you to some falscity that I may be of twisted psyche or wisdom.
When I think of us parting ways, like a goose must do to the lake to escape the ever threatening cold of winter, my heart clenches in the tensity of my overwhelming sorrow of envisioning your departure from me.
And still, never could I share with you my woes, for I hide amidst the shadow of the fear of abandonment and lonesome
And so, I shall stay silent for your love.
And so, these dwellings I do sorrily keep to myself.
Mar 23, 2018
Mar 23, 2018 at 9:32 PM UTC
Waves crash over
Like a tumbling emotion
Washing up the shore
With a touch of sweet affection
The wind’s whisper of amour
As the waves that are yearning
Get dragged back for more
These are the waves in my mind
Throwing me into titubation
At the thought of leaving you behind
Leading me to a prodigious revelation
…
My life is the sea
And you are the moon
You wax and I rise
With a rushing intensity
You wane and I recede
Pushing me back because of the tensity
How far is too far?
And where is too close?
I know not the answer
I only know it’s you that I chose
Feb 4, 2016
Feb 4, 2016 at 9:47 PM UTC
Drooping fear and dripping turmoil,
catching a vicious cycle in recoil,
Splatters the decayed and fermented topsoil,
Bringing seeds of chaos to a steady boil,
Blooming at night the soil will harvest plans unspoiled,
Creeping like veins pumping crude oil,
Penetrating and shaking at night it toils,
Holding it's grasp to clasp like a gargoyle.
The rising Anger multiplying tensity,
To reach the darkness committing felony,
Hiding within marvel in blinding intensity,
Collecting blinding Disarray gaining density,
Photosynthesis of the confusion turns to ebony,
Heartache stored devilishly for energy,
Lacking compassion to show no empathy.
Eating the mentally capacitating staple makes you incapable,
Unshakable you shiver dread losing your vocational,
Spirit dismissed you're feeling dismissed,
The grasp unbreakable and forever untraceable,
Wishing instead to starve as the hollow spirits carve,
This plantation by incarnation shapes formation,
blocking salvation it's stagnation draws damnation.
Gargoyles shapes perched upon your hearse,
Harvesting this Belligerent form of Disarray plants the curse,
To recoil the host it chose,
Falling prey to dismay only worse.
Mar 8, 2021
Mar 8, 2021 at 10:47 PM UTC