Hello Poetry
Submit your work and get some sparkles! Create free account
"partys" poems
Family Bound My Family means everything too me Got a brother in the Navy He's married got a beautiful wife too. He's enjoyin the beautiful sunsets in the city where Micky Cohen use to own. Got my other brother whos a gear head, a knucklehead, works on knuckle heads, and hes my knuckles too. Me and him use to get into it throw a little bruises around but **** has he made me proud went to the city where you can cook eggs on the sidewalk Pheonix. Went to school too work on bikes and now works at Harley.... this means for me free tee shirts and cool biker partys too go to hot women in leather pants and mean dudes with long goatees. My Mom shes a healer, a bible dealer, and the leader of a womens AA program but is married to a Ex-convict, Ex-felon, Ex-drug dealing, Ex-rapist I never understood why she goes for trying to heal men maybe it's because shes been trying to fix all of her 3 boys and thats the only way she knows how to love a man. Either way I love her too death and it'll be death if that man decides to lay a hand on her again... you'll see something that only Hades eyes have seen but enough about that loser... Unto my Old man. My pops hes a machine mechanic a use too be psychobath maniac tatted up with rough hands, palms always itching and eyes always looking out for his family. He once told me Jay " You Gotta Pay to Play" and those words have stuck with me for some reason for a long *** time. He always has these little one liners that just make ya get back to reality,wipe your nose clean, put your head up and stand up straight and get back to the money. So thats my blood thats what makes my heart beat everyday knowing that my family gots my back to succeed.
0
May 29, 2013
May 29, 2013 at 12:40 PM UTC
Blood is thicker then water
Family Bound My Family means everything too me Got a brother in the Navy He's married got a beautiful wife too. He's enjoyin the beautiful sunsets in the city where Micky Cohen use to own. Got my other brother whos a gear head, a knucklehead, works on knuckle heads, and hes my knuckles too. Me and him use to get into it throw a little bruises around but **** has he made me proud went to the city where you can cook eggs on the sidewalk Pheonix. Went to school too work on bikes and now works at Harley.... this means for me free tee shirts and cool biker partys too go to hot women in leather pants and mean dudes with long goatees. My Mom shes a healer, a bible dealer, and the leader of a womens AA program but is married to a Ex-convict, Ex-felon, Ex-drug dealing, Ex-rapist I never understood why she goes for trying to heal men maybe it's because shes been trying to fix all of her 3 boys and thats the only way she knows how to love a man. Either way I love her too death and it'll be death if that man decides to lay a hand on her again... you'll see something that only Hades eyes have seen but enough about that loser... Unto my Old man. My pops hes a machine mechanic a use too be psychobath maniac tatted up with rough hands, palms always itching and eyes always looking out for his family. He once told me Jay " You Gotta Pay to Play" and those words have stuck with me for some reason for a long *** time. He always has these little one liners that just make ya get back to reality,wipe your nose clean, put your head up and stand up straight and get back to the money. So thats my blood thats what makes my heart beat everyday knowing that my family gots my back to succeed.
Continue reading...
13
Absolute self confidence Or nights full of doubt. An arrogant fool Between concern and an inflated ego Between days full of tears in the shower And partys to dance with anyone. I wish I could somewhere and somehow Find myself.
0
Jun 16, 2016
Jun 16, 2016 at 5:52 PM UTC
Alter Ego
HE said to write            create. {read my wordfs} dont be scared. your m.ind will fill in the blanks caps lock willl destroy. your muind. ....your story begins now. Dont be afraid and read the wLls./ find a quiet place. find a song. feel it. taste iut. create a song......                                                           chapter two. i went to ***       you came to me, found me in a dark room....posted.      I cant read this he said disappoinbted. :( keep trying :))) {hey there friendship, lets have a heart to heart....walk outside for chapter two..... i'll be there in the night. In the quiet. silence. phone is dead :(((( who cares! party in the basement. can you read this yet??? tgake me on a messy date. i want to play in the sunshoine. heal my /adhd please                                                    ((((adivan is gone :( who steals from a friend??? /where did Noelle leave her pants anyway ((((( chaptep two. quit your mind. listen to the music..shhhhhhh//// read tyhisd 6omorrow... caps lock are evilsssss......... listenm tp the robots 2013...... find me in the dark writing rymes. changing soings. creating. , , , , authors. intillects. teachers. cults are bad!!!!!!!! god is love. dont do drugs and go on adventires. read the bible everyday. silence your heart. take a deep breath. no one cares. they will foind you again. dont be scared... quiet moments are the best. where did i put my cigarettes.                                  to be conyinued. edit or no>>>> bring back indie bands. then they become mainstream you know :( sad hipsters. i just wanna play. no one gets me. pep talks and **** partys downstairs. find me later when they go to bed. go play. ' you have nothing to do tomorrow. its only 11????? i like numbers. i hate math. i have to *** still. waiting. who cares. go to sleep. i'll stay up all night and write poems... i sleep in tuckers room when heres not here. i miss him so bad sometimes. i wonder what 6 year olds dream about, you know? this is gunna be EPICCCC!!!! sermon on the way...to becontinued. tweet me clues from the front porch. i'lll be quiet. my phones dead anyway. oh well. phones are bad. wheres the bathroom? oh yeah. chapter two. how long can i write this poem before they try and find me.           the basement is to farrrr.....cigarettes on the front po
0
May 26, 2013
May 26, 2013 at 10:15 PM UTC
chapted,1....ni edits....poweddown....(((dont be scared :((
HE said to write            create. {read my wordfs} dont be scared. your m.ind will fill in the blanks caps lock willl destroy. your muind. ....your story begins now. Dont be afraid and read the wLls./ find a quiet place. find a song. feel it. taste iut. create a song......                                                           chapter two. i went to ***       you came to me, found me in a dark room....posted.      I cant read this he said disappoinbted. :( keep trying :))) {hey there friendship, lets have a heart to heart....walk outside for chapter two..... i'll be there in the night. In the quiet. silence. phone is dead :(((( who cares! party in the basement. can you read this yet??? tgake me on a messy date. i want to play in the sunshoine. heal my /adhd please                                                    ((((adivan is gone :( who steals from a friend??? /where did Noelle leave her pants anyway ((((( chaptep two. quit your mind. listen to the music..shhhhhhh//// read tyhisd 6omorrow... caps lock are evilsssss......... listenm tp the robots 2013...... find me in the dark writing rymes. changing soings. creating. , , , , authors. intillects. teachers. cults are bad!!!!!!!! god is love. dont do drugs and go on adventires. read the bible everyday. silence your heart. take a deep breath. no one cares. they will foind you again. dont be scared... quiet moments are the best. where did i put my cigarettes.                                  to be conyinued. edit or no>>>> bring back indie bands. then they become mainstream you know :( sad hipsters. i just wanna play. no one gets me. pep talks and **** partys downstairs. find me later when they go to bed. go play. ' you have nothing to do tomorrow. its only 11????? i like numbers. i hate math. i have to *** still. waiting. who cares. go to sleep. i'll stay up all night and write poems... i sleep in tuckers room when heres not here. i miss him so bad sometimes. i wonder what 6 year olds dream about, you know? this is gunna be EPICCCC!!!! sermon on the way...to becontinued. tweet me clues from the front porch. i'lll be quiet. my phones dead anyway. oh well. phones are bad. wheres the bathroom? oh yeah. chapter two. how long can i write this poem before they try and find me.           the basement is to farrrr.....cigarettes on the front po
Continue reading...
53
I have been the bright one at partys the funny one in groups the cute one for boys the wild one but nowadays i am more and more losing myself in the rain and its like my tears about him wash away m s y e l f...
0
Jun 20, 2019
Jun 20, 2019 at 9:20 AM UTC
Where did my light go
ohh where to start… i know, You sir are an ******* You were there then you weren't leaving when i needed you most making me grow up so fast, at a young age, you taught me what disappointment was when you would call saying you would visit in a half hour and never showed up… when you chose yourself over me.. you next bottle of beer over me… HOW WORTHLESS AM I? still I give you a second chance and invite you to one of the most important days of my life… you showed up late so late you missed my performance… got hauled out of the place by the cops because you were so drunk you fell on one of them HOW WORTHLESS AM I? you can't even put the bottle down for one day birthdays, Christmases, my first date, my first boyfriend, my first kiss, the week i spent crying over that guy.. with hair or something Dances, partys. I bet you can't tell me my best friends name? any of my friends? MY favorite color? That boy I likes name? MY AGE? you will miss my graduation…. My brother walking me down the aisle at my wedding you're grandkids all because you are to selfish to se what it does to me, what it will do to them. DOES IT MEAN THAT MUCH TO YOU? AM I THAT WORTHLESS? you already did this to one kid left him 16 years ago without another thought I talk to him sometimes, he tells me he wishes you had stuck around longer like you did with me. I tell him I wish you had just left… i wouldn't have had to hope I wouldn't have had to wait I wouldn't have had to grow up I wouldn't have had to cry I wouldn't have had you I would have had the gift of not knowing what I'm not missing out on so yes YOU ARE THAT WORTHLESS to me
0
Nov 18, 2013
Nov 18, 2013 at 7:50 AM UTC
How Worthless Am I
ohh where to start… i know, You sir are an ******* You were there then you weren't leaving when i needed you most making me grow up so fast, at a young age, you taught me what disappointment was when you would call saying you would visit in a half hour and never showed up… when you chose yourself over me.. you next bottle of beer over me… HOW WORTHLESS AM I? still I give you a second chance and invite you to one of the most important days of my life… you showed up late so late you missed my performance… got hauled out of the place by the cops because you were so drunk you fell on one of them HOW WORTHLESS AM I? you can't even put the bottle down for one day birthdays, Christmases, my first date, my first boyfriend, my first kiss, the week i spent crying over that guy.. with hair or something Dances, partys. I bet you can't tell me my best friends name? any of my friends? MY favorite color? That boy I likes name? MY AGE? you will miss my graduation…. My brother walking me down the aisle at my wedding you're grandkids all because you are to selfish to se what it does to me, what it will do to them. DOES IT MEAN THAT MUCH TO YOU? AM I THAT WORTHLESS? you already did this to one kid left him 16 years ago without another thought I talk to him sometimes, he tells me he wishes you had stuck around longer like you did with me. I tell him I wish you had just left… i wouldn't have had to hope I wouldn't have had to wait I wouldn't have had to grow up I wouldn't have had to cry I wouldn't have had you I would have had the gift of not knowing what I'm not missing out on so yes YOU ARE THAT WORTHLESS to me
Continue reading...
38
Sweet rejection a simple pinch and slap in the face. Drunken splendor and a ***** floor. Some woman I dont care to know why do I always find myself in this ****** up place. Puff Puff Pass. Wild Turkey loud music im such a happy sleeze with not a hint of class. Lean of over the bar my dear you fill my thought's and i your glass. I walked when I was ten. Runaway in New Orleans dont belive I could do that one again Two packs a day and a shakey hand. Midnight drives strippers in arm bar's with floor's of sand. Im not ment for long but sugar im here now. Drinkin till I die fields of my past been burried long ago under plow. Dance in happiness die without regret. My friends names tattoo my thoughts. Richard ,Rach,Baths,Lily,Paula how can I ever forget. ******* up perfection is I. A perfect losser who could care less. How could you ever shed a tear when I die? Rearview babydoll backseat queen. Stay crazy in this cold place. Skeeter do you still dream in your beauty so tormented and obscene. Where all perfect for are flaws. Barstool will be forever empty. Im tried but always eager to fall down for a half naked body or a fellow lunatics cause. Gonzo do ya know how they see ya outside thoose glasses so dark. The partys jester spirt of a eternal teen. Empty cans hold court by the lake of lovers lane where still they park. Richard a bottle and friendship forever i'll share. Insane is a buddy but never worry. Cause even a falldown drunk does care. So sad is the fading light bitter the moment. But perfect isthe ****** up song though. Kids dont let em break ya you stay crazy. And I'll forever be Gonzo.
0
Oct 11, 2011
Oct 11, 2011 at 2:46 PM UTC
Gonzo
Sweet rejection a simple pinch and slap in the face. Drunken splendor and a ***** floor. Some woman I dont care to know why do I always find myself in this ****** up place. Puff Puff Pass. Wild Turkey loud music im such a happy sleeze with not a hint of class. Lean of over the bar my dear you fill my thought's and i your glass. I walked when I was ten. Runaway in New Orleans dont belive I could do that one again Two packs a day and a shakey hand. Midnight drives strippers in arm bar's with floor's of sand. Im not ment for long but sugar im here now. Drinkin till I die fields of my past been burried long ago under plow. Dance in happiness die without regret. My friends names tattoo my thoughts. Richard ,Rach,Baths,Lily,Paula how can I ever forget. ******* up perfection is I. A perfect losser who could care less. How could you ever shed a tear when I die? Rearview babydoll backseat queen. Stay crazy in this cold place. Skeeter do you still dream in your beauty so tormented and obscene. Where all perfect for are flaws. Barstool will be forever empty. Im tried but always eager to fall down for a half naked body or a fellow lunatics cause. Gonzo do ya know how they see ya outside thoose glasses so dark. The partys jester spirt of a eternal teen. Empty cans hold court by the lake of lovers lane where still they park. Richard a bottle and friendship forever i'll share. Insane is a buddy but never worry. Cause even a falldown drunk does care. So sad is the fading light bitter the moment. But perfect isthe ****** up song though. Kids dont let em break ya you stay crazy. And I'll forever be Gonzo.
Continue reading...
42
He's dead!! They weep and wail Now they proclaim "He was a hero" apartheid slain True it was vanquished but at a cost Acts of terror, his proclaimers forgot Preaching peace to a world stage, others you counsel killed each day The truth is tainted by the media's stage, all colours all tribes dead on the way I don't decry the good he did, but remember the killing in his partys name.
0
Dec 8, 2013
Dec 8, 2013 at 6:09 PM UTC
Apart/hide
Sax Clarinet, piano, Moot, Wedding, I want to know. Old stages, super rock, Is she alright? double grade 8, partys, I hope she sticks to the light. Explores, work, does she look like the love I know? money, independence, will I find something that she hasn't shown? Not enough time to exercise, A diseased family, I want endless time with her in my future, GAD, sequences, do I sound like a preacher? spots, maturity, can I cope? when will I next see her, can I manage more motivation, MAYBE I WON'T !
0
Aug 16, 2013
Aug 16, 2013 at 4:49 PM UTC
Sorrows Spilt
On the poetic hills Of love We ride along    Pushin' Fighting        For the world We're building the strength For it     To fall So we could get back up again                                    And love On the poetic hills          Of bacchanal Partys     and           Laughter               In alcohol Naked under our clothes We ride along    Pushin' Fighting        For the world We're going to be strong When everything goes wrong And smile When everyone is back       In eachothers arms While she puts on Those poetic heels of love We ride along Pushing and fighting       For mother earth On the poetic heels of femme fatale We write along     we           write                        along On the poetic hills                         of love… ride.
0
Dec 12, 2018
Dec 12, 2018 at 2:49 AM UTC
Poetic Hills Heels
I'll leave my resolution as she leaves her tight black dress apon the floor. In passion of a ***** tinted kiss. we'll forget the times to follow if only in are trainwreck splendor. Two souls thirsting for contact. Tearing at one another like children unwrapping gifts from under the tree. Plessure is a dream togather were caught willing victims of a lost night and a years end. As tommorows starts a year's slow decline. In her eyes I need only a glimpse to recall. The madness that was in the streets we stole a nights most simple plessure. A private partys afterglow is such a bittersweet tressure we'll recall togather. In the velvet of a embrace more than skin did connect. Within thoose eye's the embers of that private party for a breif moment does reflect. As traces of reallity plague the return of the following day. One kiss tasting of devilish remorse I caught a whisper of love But in a shallow moments thought just watched it walk away.
0
Dec 31, 2010
Dec 31, 2010 at 1:03 PM UTC
Resolution And Reason/Anothers View To A Private Party
Pills' partys the last seven years washed unclean. Streets now empty past there prime and looking to score. Ive lived till the edge is dull. I sit knowing theres nothing more. Are we as ****** up as are parents befor? The answers passed down are but secondhand mistakes. As the madess goes from funny to something altogather sad. My eyes blind yet still able to see. My own personal hell thoughts of a far off escape. Hope is but sweet dellusion not ment for me. When the flame is gone darkness signals the change. fake words concern is but a vice carried to the lost soul. To live in the circle is but to embrace a soft cage. No life is a end at its false start. A chord lost in time. shadows I chase to there darkest end. Laughter hides the so clearly seen. Hate take's my passion as time take's my story the final verse to share with none. Im the ******* of a stranger I know well. He reflects the prison for which I yern for this nights release. Dying in seconds counting hours. Killing the drug strangles my air. A painter never shows his thoughts. Just covers his canvas. Tomorrow I will no longer see your failure. As in days I will embrace the emptyness you no longer control. Vacant is the space windows and empty eyes. The time 5:oo am strangers will take the story rewrite my past. Lie's are a freedom I no longer need. Goobye's a return's promise. I can no longer say. Im exhuasted yet I know its best to fill the page. But that southern breeze will now be my home. In sunsets i hope you see what never was. Charm of a maniac the sense of a legend to never be. Darkness I wish i had shared tears are the taste of a talent that never was me. the glass is empty.
0
Sep 28, 2010
Sep 28, 2010 at 1:43 AM UTC
Help/What We Seldom See
Pills' partys the last seven years washed unclean. Streets now empty past there prime and looking to score. Ive lived till the edge is dull. I sit knowing theres nothing more. Are we as ****** up as are parents befor? The answers passed down are but secondhand mistakes. As the madess goes from funny to something altogather sad. My eyes blind yet still able to see. My own personal hell thoughts of a far off escape. Hope is but sweet dellusion not ment for me. When the flame is gone darkness signals the change. fake words concern is but a vice carried to the lost soul. To live in the circle is but to embrace a soft cage. No life is a end at its false start. A chord lost in time. shadows I chase to there darkest end. Laughter hides the so clearly seen. Hate take's my passion as time take's my story the final verse to share with none. Im the ******* of a stranger I know well. He reflects the prison for which I yern for this nights release. Dying in seconds counting hours. Killing the drug strangles my air. A painter never shows his thoughts. Just covers his canvas. Tomorrow I will no longer see your failure. As in days I will embrace the emptyness you no longer control. Vacant is the space windows and empty eyes. The time 5:oo am strangers will take the story rewrite my past. Lie's are a freedom I no longer need. Goobye's a return's promise. I can no longer say. Im exhuasted yet I know its best to fill the page. But that southern breeze will now be my home. In sunsets i hope you see what never was. Charm of a maniac the sense of a legend to never be. Darkness I wish i had shared tears are the taste of a talent that never was me. the glass is empty.
Continue reading...
44
Partys for couples new lovers and just friends. Music to fill the night the streets of New york breath life to old flames keeping even jaded souls warm. The lonley gather round the TV. sharing a glimpse at something we all yern to have. And from the up high the streets seem magic tonight. the soudtrack of the night will echo into are hungover minds with a painful yet happy reminder of last nights celebration. Late night lovers will smile and go there awkward ways. So many acts in so many different plays. creeping back to are corners in lastnights suit and tie. Tight little black dress kiss worn lips acting happier than two kids ragged in need of a shave you with hair in a mess. And for friends that gather to relive not so real past glory. The pages are left to the writter. To add to lastnights not so original story. As the barflys gather to battle another unsober day. I watch this first new day anew. Take a sip from my flask and thank the lord for one more year with you. And tonight I say to you all raise that glass. kiss that stranger you know so well. Laugh love and live. And thank whomever ya choose weve made it through another year to tell.
0
Dec 31, 2009
Dec 31, 2009 at 8:48 AM UTC
New Years Reflection
I learned early there ways. Words that speak of happiness. Barbwire is the tongue of the heart that always betrays. You cant put your hopes on the false and untrue. Deception doesnt help the case. For I can hold this bottle closer than you. Bitter are my words but it falls apon deaf ears. soaked are my memories. Washed yet still they remain after all the beers. Sugar dont worry with false emotions just put it on my tab. The warmth of this bed now ressembles a slab. We struggle to recall who we once were. The partys the past mistakes. It's a nothing more than a blur. Hollow in heart is my truth filled obsession Lovers often embrace in lies. And hold hearts in bitter nights confession.
0
Apr 13, 2010
Apr 13, 2010 at 6:59 AM UTC
The Hearts Confession
* early morning breezing early morning cruising what happened last night? I couldn't tell you. every night is a blur drowning my liver with wine and gin inhaling nicotine after nicotine cant remember if I got my fix this is how I love to live. partys every night meeting people and not remembering their name love and party fame for losing control its all a game
0
Jul 14, 2013
Jul 14, 2013 at 1:40 PM UTC
Untitled
Dinner is done table cleared guests are gone the sink is filled Off she trots marrigolds on, hands in studs he watches on Stood in heels she rocks and sways, a long time since she looked that way He stares and smiles as he catches her gaze an inviting look to come her way Hands on hips he kisses her neck as she pushes back their body's engage She lifts her skirt and leans across inviting him to come on in Two as one they now engage The dishs simply have to wait.....
0
Jan 17, 2013
Jan 17, 2013 at 4:20 PM UTC
The partys over
Dear to whom it may concern, Thats how it starts... Iv been thinking about Us (with a capital you) the story of us. How the **** do I sum it up? Has it been perfect? Hardly. Any story with me at the center of it will never be anything less then a big smiling mess, But here's what I know for sure, our time in the sun has been a thing of absolute ******* beauty. The nightmares, the partys, the hangovers, the wedding... This magnificent shimmering insanity in this world of ours. When for months I woke up to you leaving because you cant sleep till 2 pm, I roll outa bed telling you im sorry, I'll do better, then proceed to disappoint you and repeat till you walked out for good. As writer I'm a hopeful sucker for happy endings, the guy gets the girl she saves him from him self and they live happy ever after. As man who has loved such girl, I realized there is no such thing, there's no sunset, there's just now, just the two of us which can be ****** scary and ugly sometimes. But, if you close your eyes like I have and listen to the whisper of your heart, if you simply keep trying and never... ever give up. No matter how many times we get it wrong, maybe till the beginning and end blur into something called, until we meet again.  Thats.. Thats all I got, I didn't know how to finish it, but it's not finished it never will be with me and you. I wrote you, because every single time I try to speak, something stupid comes out of my mouth, and the words dont mean what I want them to mean, or even half of what I want them to mean. Its, It's never over for me. Never.
0
May 24, 2016
May 24, 2016 at 5:11 AM UTC
Its not about the money
Dear to whom it may concern, Thats how it starts... Iv been thinking about Us (with a capital you) the story of us. How the **** do I sum it up? Has it been perfect? Hardly. Any story with me at the center of it will never be anything less then a big smiling mess, But here's what I know for sure, our time in the sun has been a thing of absolute ******* beauty. The nightmares, the partys, the hangovers, the wedding... This magnificent shimmering insanity in this world of ours. When for months I woke up to you leaving because you cant sleep till 2 pm, I roll outa bed telling you im sorry, I'll do better, then proceed to disappoint you and repeat till you walked out for good. As writer I'm a hopeful sucker for happy endings, the guy gets the girl she saves him from him self and they live happy ever after. As man who has loved such girl, I realized there is no such thing, there's no sunset, there's just now, just the two of us which can be ****** scary and ugly sometimes. But, if you close your eyes like I have and listen to the whisper of your heart, if you simply keep trying and never... ever give up. No matter how many times we get it wrong, maybe till the beginning and end blur into something called, until we meet again.  Thats.. Thats all I got, I didn't know how to finish it, but it's not finished it never will be with me and you. I wrote you, because every single time I try to speak, something stupid comes out of my mouth, and the words dont mean what I want them to mean, or even half of what I want them to mean. Its, It's never over for me. Never.
Continue reading...
7
Hi there, When I say how are you? I mean to say thank you. When I say Fine and look into your eyes I mean to say thank you for saving me And what I mean by that is this: My story is not a pleasant one. I carry it all on my body The abuse being my strechmarks, The pain being my scars, Every mole I have will tell me a story And none of them were pleasent I self-harmed, self-medicated, self-taught everything that made it all worse. Let the makeup become my day to day mask that hides my pain from the outside world. Let the partys be the good excuses to self medicate in alcohol and drugs, for that was the only way I would not lay in bed alone, sober, with my thoughts. I let the warm bodies of men become my doctors for when I would need a check-up. And I needed them a lot. Then I met you, and from that first moment our eyes locked I stopped thinking about the check ups from the warm bodies, the sober thoughts i couldnt handle without my party excuses and the way I wanted you all to see me. The first thing you said to me was 'Its okay, I see through your wall' With those words you have changed me. made me want to have fun, but with you. I let you brake down my wall without any struggle, as if i were an animal which just came out of hybernation. ready to start again, to start fresh. While some time has passed now, you have created a distance. you said you needed it and i was fine. no, i wasnt fine, i just said i was fine cause i wanted you to believe that you have 'fixed' me. with every unanswered phone call and every message left on read. I BREAK. My heart turns into thousand little mirrors which you break again one by one with the push of the off button on your phone. you repair those pieces with your superglue. your superglue is hot and steamy but unreal. After healing me again you leave me. AGAIN, this time for good. And i am left jet again with what is now a million pieces of mirror. the reflection will never be the same. So I go back to the warm bodies from who i need a check-up to tell me I am still beautifull. even only in that moment. So I go back to the clubs and make excuses for my self-medicating ways. So I go back to the safety of my makeup so no one will know how broken I am. And still, I blame myself.
0
Apr 5, 2018
Apr 5, 2018 at 3:38 PM UTC
It's on me
Hi there, When I say how are you? I mean to say thank you. When I say Fine and look into your eyes I mean to say thank you for saving me And what I mean by that is this: My story is not a pleasant one. I carry it all on my body The abuse being my strechmarks, The pain being my scars, Every mole I have will tell me a story And none of them were pleasent I self-harmed, self-medicated, self-taught everything that made it all worse. Let the makeup become my day to day mask that hides my pain from the outside world. Let the partys be the good excuses to self medicate in alcohol and drugs, for that was the only way I would not lay in bed alone, sober, with my thoughts. I let the warm bodies of men become my doctors for when I would need a check-up. And I needed them a lot. Then I met you, and from that first moment our eyes locked I stopped thinking about the check ups from the warm bodies, the sober thoughts i couldnt handle without my party excuses and the way I wanted you all to see me. The first thing you said to me was 'Its okay, I see through your wall' With those words you have changed me. made me want to have fun, but with you. I let you brake down my wall without any struggle, as if i were an animal which just came out of hybernation. ready to start again, to start fresh. While some time has passed now, you have created a distance. you said you needed it and i was fine. no, i wasnt fine, i just said i was fine cause i wanted you to believe that you have 'fixed' me. with every unanswered phone call and every message left on read. I BREAK. My heart turns into thousand little mirrors which you break again one by one with the push of the off button on your phone. you repair those pieces with your superglue. your superglue is hot and steamy but unreal. After healing me again you leave me. AGAIN, this time for good. And i am left jet again with what is now a million pieces of mirror. the reflection will never be the same. So I go back to the warm bodies from who i need a check-up to tell me I am still beautifull. even only in that moment. So I go back to the clubs and make excuses for my self-medicating ways. So I go back to the safety of my makeup so no one will know how broken I am. And still, I blame myself.
Continue reading...
23