Dear Lord
I am praying this special prayer to ask you
If you would consider letting Mommie come there with you
I know that Grandma and Grandpa are happy in heaven
So is it ok if Mommie comes there and start living?
Lord I know that I didn’t eat my peas yesterday
And wouldn’t share my toys when I went out to play
When I shouldn’t in school I talked to my friend
I know these things have to end
Lord I take all of the blame
Will you Lord forgive me of these things?
I promise I’ll do better next time
But Mommie doesn’t have any crimes
Last night she tucked me in bed
Said good night then she kissed my forehead
This morning she came and kiss me to wake me
She had breakfast on the table so we could eat
I helped her clean the table  of dishes
She said I was a good helper and called me a little Misses
She helped me get dressed  as she sang a song
Then tickled me the time seemed long
Then she put me in the car and took me to school
She dropped me off then watching over her I gave that job to you
They say that the man was drinking and driving his car
I’m not mad at him deep in my heart
I know it was  truly an accident
Hurting my Mommie wasn’t what he meant
I am just praying this special prayer to ask you
If Mommie can come and be one of your angles too?
Amen

Knicks

Waiting at the bus stop,
Jamming to some hip hop,
Checkin’ on my wrist watch
Clock is running tick-tock

And he made his way down the block
Walking in my direction,
With his face hanging behind that faded fitted

He is the boy that never goes home
Who thinks selling dope and
having high hopes makes him grown

Late nights on street corners,
Protecting urban borders,
Claiming blocks for blood,
selling rocks for what?

He nodded at me and I smiled back
not ever ignoring the bloodstains on his shoe laces
He was a gangster

And I never understood how such a bright boy
could be such a coward
Because that’s what they are all
Cowards who hide behind colors
Blue and red tied brothers
who leave their sisters and mothers
How could you?

Whose familiar face standing beside me
As if we never shared the same last name
Cameron

For all those times that you pushed me from the doorway
Just to kiss the sunset with your piff

I prayed for your protection
I prayed that you would never forget
mommies’ and daddies’ lesson
and that my love for you will never lessen

And I prayed that a bullet will never befriend your skin, I prayed
That someday you will understand
that being a brave street soldier in the dark
still made you a coward come sunrise

And sometime I feel that you may be color blind
Because I do not understand how you see strength
in your blacks and reds
When you have blacks and blues tattooed all over you.

So tell me what side do you belong to
when your lips are synced supo....
but your eyes are swimming in cripped colored kisses
mixed with hints sdfnarega...
ajrngjeag...

They got you
now you have an appetite for revenge

too proud to bleed for the bullet
yet quick to let finger tips lit triggers
your fine arms are too short to box with God

I remember when you told me
that you favorite rapper was TuPac
and I bet you wonder if heaven has got a ghetto

but you will never know because attempting to play God
and pimping mother nature
will never get you high enough to get there

so he will just send his angels down to tell you
that it is TuPac for one more gangster

and now you are off to hell’s home, homie
where you won’t have back pocket
for your blood colored bandannas to hold on to
like umbilical cords connecting you to the wind
you will just be dead skin
lost like the next of kin
of all your other blood brothers who sin

and all your fighting for meaning nothing any more
because in hell you will no longer
have your boys willing to die for you

just demons waiting to dance with you
holding out red roses that used to be white
before they used them to clean the messes
you made when you were still alive
what are you thinking?

you coward
running from your own light
shaking hands with the darkness
as if you were never taught to recognize the sun
mommie’s son
my brother

I just wanted to make you come home
make you breakfast in the morning
and remind you how beautiful blood can be
when it is not used as paint on concrete canvases
but when it is served aeruhgiureg on kitchen tables..

and as my bus pulls up,
I rummage through my pockets for my dollar
wishing I too had a faded fitting to hide my face beneath
because I would hate for you to see me cry for you too

and as I step onto that bus and walk over to my seat
I silently pray to God
that he will forgive me for calling you a coward

because who am I to call you a coward
when I couldn’t even find the strength to tell you how I felt
couldn’t share my quick healed cuts with you
and the tears that raced down my cheeks

so fast to prove that blood is indeed thicker than water
My brother

you stayed at the bus stop as we drove away
and I don’t know if my bus wasn’t going in your direction
or if you just lost your direction
years ago in the red silk lining of papi’s coffin

but I won’t dwell
I will sleep tonight
not forget to dedicate my prayers to you.

Wake up in the morning,
get dressed and
if you find yourself missing your little sister
I will just be...

Waiting at the bus stop,
Jamming to some hip hop,
Checkin’ on my wrist watch
Clock is running tick-tock

We live in a society that is reluctant to hold individuals accountable for their actions.

They did this to him because of his smile.
They did this to him because he was in the bar bathroom a long while.
They did this to him because of his clothing style.

The environment can create stimuli and stressors which trigger predispositions.
Predispositions of behavioral tendencies to make bad decisions.

They did this to her because they saw it on TV.
They did this to her because nothing comes for free...
or at least easy.
They did this to her because of how they were raised by mommie.

However, at the end of the day, you have ****** autonomy.
Physically responsible for your own actions,
you have damaged another human...
being.
You don't want to accept you could do something so heinous to another human's ****
or ******.

Morally responsible to actively educate,
yourself.
How to live in a world with other humans whom differ from you.
People who you may not completely understand.

She said no, but things happened so fast.
Kept go-ing on, not for long he didn't last.

He might have been interested at the start of the night,
but wasn't trying to be perceived as putting up a fight,
resisting what his assailant created, his forever tragic night.

I'm not big on the concept of 'deviant behaviors' or 'social taboos.'
Certain things however, you should know what to do.
We violate others' rights, freedoms, privileges, happiness, mental stability, and personal well being.

And For What?
It doesn't matter if you're gay, like metal music, or get drunk, because
We can't blame the color gray.  
not tomorrow nor today.
Don't sit, just stand, get up and say.
Advocate that **** is wrong every innocent second of each precious day.
more clearly defined, not merely social constructs within a particular society.

Long story short; **** is Wrong. Get and Give Consent. Be Safe as well.

Watch out! They're coming everybody beware
they walk around real life,
from our nightmares.

Through the town their creeping
to get the things they want;
they come with a password
to each house they haunt.

From a pirouette forms Draculla
as he comes to full height,
he draws his cape to his chin
to hide his overbite.

Against a full moons light
hangs a witches shape
all year shes been waiting
for this very night to escape.

The wolfman howls through the distance
and sprouts coarse red hair.
As ghosts and goblins frenzy
through the cool nights air.

Two lights are yellow glowing
above a toothless grin
on an old Jack-o-lantern
born from a pumpkin.

Into the light comes creeping
a cat as black as coal,
from out of hiding places
upon the night to stroll.

Out of the closets rattle
old Mr. Bones,
and from the tombs rumble
a mommie moans.

Outside they all gather
monsters of every size;
from huge Frankensteins
down to the little guys.

Here they come, be quiet,
wait for a knock to be heard.
There it is get ready
for the password.

"Trick-or-treat's" the password
then comes the trade,
for the small price of a treat
no tricks will be played.

"Happy Halloween!"
before they all turn and disappear,
back into their hiding places
I'm safe again till next year...

Sharing Hate Poem
September 4, 2009 (I recently found this poem I wrote years ago)

Trigger Warning - Abuse

Sharing Hate

He keeps me locked up in this room daily.
He calls me ugly, then starts to beat me.
My bruised and battered body lays there numb.
I think, "Don't worry, help will one day come."

He took my teddy; it was my mommie's.
The other girls here look just like zombies.
Dad always said, "Find the silver lining."
But the rare ray of light's all I'm finding.

He told me, "Tomorrow you'll be famous."
I asked, "Why do you blame your hate on us?"
He said, "You don't get it... I'm just like you."
"When I was little, I got abused too."

I sit in the corner of my bed room, my stomach aches because I haven't eaten. I want to go out and play, but mommy says it is not safe. I see the light coming through my window and listen to the cars passing by. I hear my mommie crying in her room and I do not know why. My clothes are laid out for school tomorrow they are a bit torn and wrinkled. The other kids make fun of me, but I do not know what to say to them. I want to go to school so bad, it is where I get to eat. I lay down on the cold floor in the corner and try to quietly cry myself to sleep. Every day I pass tall shining buildings and I dream that someday I can visit one of them and see what it is like to live inside, but for now I know only hunger and the sound of my mommies tears. I wonder if anyone out there can hear her cry or if anyone even really cares.

My body aches
is not a physical pain is more than that
an invisible neverending pain.
I'm rendered to it.  
I lay on the couch
I give myself to it
I become a mommie
A catacomb
of silent resonant thoughts
as my body frozes in pain and dies
alive.

Mi mind becomes numb.
I imagine that's how Dexter's or Lex Lutor's mind
ought of feel,
if they ever had any feelings.
But I am feeling nothing but numbness
and this neverending pain.
I try to bit my pillow and cry out my soul
but no tears run down my face
like peaceful streams...
There are no longer tears of Pain
Tears I could not refrain.

There is only a hollow cave in my eyes,
my heart, and my chest.
This never ending Pain!

Mom, how have you been?
I can't believe its been so long
All the memories in my head spin
As I sing this 'I Miss You' song

Its still so hard to believe
You're not coming back to me
True happiness is hard to achieve
When I think how can this be?

Though you're my gaurdian angel flying high
I'd rather you be here
But I know God does not lie
This is how its meant to be and you're both near

It was our fate
Now we just have to learn
No matter what we wont truly seperate
Still for your embrace I yearn

Mommie, I love you
God had a good reason
Just know that it was for the best , thats true
He said for everything there's a season

I have to accept your time has came and gone
Before mine really began
Now we're both where we belong
Not going to forget , but I'm going to slowly get over this tragedy , I know I can

Promise me one thing now
Not to be sad
Because you're here somehow
For that I'm glad

Put a smile on your face
Your baby girl is protected by God's embrace
And is growing at a fast pace
Focusing on the beauty of grace

I'll see you in my dreams tonight
It'll be as if its real
I'll hold you tight
So the hole in my chest will finally seal

Dad has told me since i was born that theres a shark out there with our name on it

Thats why i never go as deep as my shoulders in the ocean

warnings rattle around my head and a sense of abandonment wraps around my legs

maybe the riptide felt like gentle hands leading him home

he’ll find us one day

i wonder if he’s talking about the shark or neevie

often i imagine him living in puerto Rico, having found his way among the waves he would reside in a tiny hut near the ocean side

listening every night as if to receive a whisper saying “come home”

the sole reason of dads birth being to replace his mothers only son

stand in for a deadboy

came out looking the exact opposite 

blonde hair, blue eyes

stevie, her sweet boy

pouring all the bitter, ******* she held into him

didn’t they tell you the bruises left behind were just love marks?

cherish them, it means she cares

mommie dearest loves you so, did you not know?

the closest form of loving someone is hating them and he’s got that down to a science

thoughts of prying the jalousie windows shut during winters in west tampa

counting each bullet that echoed in the distance

sitting on cotton bags skinning potatoes as his father prepared dinner for the navy ship

uncurling himself late at night when the sound of the door opening would alert him that he could finally stop hiding and embrace the warmth his fathers smile radiated

Mommie
Daddy
I've always wanted to say...
*******!
I've walked these streets
You always kept me shielded from
Never supported what I wanted
I'm not three anymore
How many times do I have to say it
Now I have a new phrase for you
*******!
Your backs are upon me
Thinking I'm the strongest
Just because I'm the biggest
Mom
Dad
Guess what guess what
*******!
The lemons you gave me were rotted
Made the lemonade taste like ****
Couldn't sell it because I'd end up dead
Murdered by the zombie voices eating at my brains
I also would like to say
*******!
Mom
Pops
You just chased out girlfriend #???
*******!
Can't even start making out
Without you busting in and acting like you didn't see this coming
Hey guess what
I've already grown my *****
My ***** dropped
You can go check out the crater they left
So here's a riddle for you
what has 7 letters its a phrase I use quite often
The answer is simple
*******
Mom
Pops
I'm leaving this place
Don't bother coming to my graduation
I don't want you there
You never supported me in school
You just told me what to do
Left me on my own to figure out what the **** to do
Thanks for being an anchor
These currents are really strong
Good thing I'm a good swimmer
Because then I would have let this life **** me
This world will not determine when I die
I will
So *******
*******
*******
I'm tired of hearing you call yourselves parents
You never earned that title
You think having a few kids
Changing diapers and feeding bottle after bottle
Makes you a parent
You're dead wrong
It's the nightmares
You're suppose to help me fight
It's the school bully
You're suppose to help me get rid of
It's the blade across my wrist
You were suppose to notice
Not once did you ever see my pain
You just mocked me when I confided in you that I was scared
You call yourselves parents
Yet all I see are people who fed me nothing but *******
So saying *******
Is my thank you
Without it I wouldn't have learned how to live
How to survive a world
You thought was too wild for me
You only encouraged a monster too wild for this world
******* to the people that have no value to me

My heavenly angel:Mommie
Today I got the news
Memories blue
Frozen stuck to me like glue
I didn’t feel
Tears paradise vision of you
Flashing how I was raised
My shelter
Understood me without speaking
Unsure
Of how to feel
Little cousins playing in the dirt
In that hill
We loved and hurt
No more pain
Confused days
Your love remains always
This is just another memory
For your days in the sky
Smiles of your sweet
Harmonized voice
A family you built
Far and near
A family we are
Rest peacefully my dear
Loving
granny
MOMMIE(Bertha Sommerville)

No special card, no brand new bill
No waiting to make the phone call.
Too much time on my hands today
Too many thoughts around me.

Mothers Day.  My Mommie’s gone.
Now I’m the Mama of this family.
Why do I feel such a little girl,
My emotional shoelaces untied and tripping me.

Amazed at why we do what we do,
I knew one day I’d live to regret it-
The Sundays just too busy to call,
The failure to find a moment for writing.

That time is now, and I’m battered with guilt
I can’t seem to talk myself out of.
If only I knew she’s forgiven my lapses
Maybe the punishment finally could end.

I   dropped everything and flew to her side
When death took her husband of just a few years,
Again when the ****** who lived up the street
Almost succeeded in killing her soul.

It’s the everyday thoughtfulness where I fell down,
The “Hi!  How are you - nothing’s much new.”
Not finding a way to be there twice a year
Instead of every other, that made me a failure.

Not a day passes that I don’t think on her
Though many had done so while she was alive.
I look on her picture in longing and sorrow
And hope that she know I now see what I’ve lost.

I told everyone that I’d be fine -
They dynamited my golden years
And put the pieces in the trash -
But I said I would be OK.

I have resources and reserves
That paved the way
Past rocky highways in the past
And would suffice me once again.

I reassured the ones who wept
That this was not to be an ending -
That I had maps and GPS
To guide me to a safer haven.

But when I looked inside the box
Containing my bravado
There was a hug and a kindly word
And nothing else to help me.

Shocked at all that emptiness
The first thing that I did was cry
And gape into that hollow space
To wonder where the courage went.

But when I saw the others stare
I clamped the lid back on real tight
And glued a smile onto my face,
Picked up my box and strode away.

Now I’m hidden safe at home
Astonished at my disbelief
That years could warp away and melt
The fortitude I counted on.

That I should find myself alone
With nothing but a broken crutch
To help me cross the quicksand bog
And locate solid ground again.

How shall I navigate the mire?
My GPS and maps are gone.
Bravura’s just a memory.
I’m not the big girl after all,

There is no Mommie I can call
No friend to offer magic beans
This time I find myself alone
To see if I can find a way
To fill back up that empty box.
ljm

you are an ***
I made a poem
you yelled at me
Evann and I said,
"******* LOSER CHILL YOUR ****"
and he said like a pshyco
"No U LoSEr"
and now I am forced to take desperate measures
*******,
-the entire site
Ps, we reported you to the mods :)
pps, hey could you guys knock some sense into this man he blocked us ****
ppps, ur mommie said you can't raid area 51 bc u bulli me :))))))))))))))))