.one of the great dissatisfactions of life: dreaming... which makes me suspect of the anglo-saxons and their subsequent branches of sub-ethicities... they dream... they have recurring dreams... lucid dreams... i find that slightly suspicious... i rarely dream and if i do dream, the dreams are so bogus or so uninteresting that they make no sense to: "interpret" them via any freud-cubism schematic - that a woman's sun hat implies: the depth of ****** and promiscuity, or some otherwise bogus stretching it mate, really stretching that analogy... but why do the anglo-saxons have such lucid dreams, even recurring dreams? are they descendants of joseph: der traumgehhilfe? last time i had a dream? oh... family invites me to say, three memebers of the family don't like me... **** the rest of the family with a knife, a gun and a baseball bat (somewhere in south east asia)... a few of the killed members run into the street to die... i somehow pick up a kalashnikov and shoot the murderous 3... then i jump into slender boat with a motor with 3 or 4 women... 'jesus'... and i escape the scene of retribution sailing to... cambodia! **** me... even sylvester stallone or jason statham or arnie wouldn't star in a movie as b-movie as this... but anglo-saxons seem to have the most vivid dreams... two good examples: h. p. lovecraft and william burroughs... is dreaming a form of escapism? if so, then evidently i'm quiet content with reality... like today: too much pop psychology, too much self-help guru mishmash, too much advice: not enough stories... video streaming a game being played... etc., so i retreat, even from modern music, into? here's a beginner's guide list to medieval music:

       1. qui habitat in adiutorio altissimi
       2. da pacem domine
       3. agni parthene
       4. dum pater familias
       5. chevalier, mult estes guariz
       6. virga iesse floruit
       7. walther von der vogelweide's
                 palästinalied
       8. codex buranus no. 179:
                     tempus est locundum
       9. non é gran causa
      10. herr holger
      11. herr mannelig
      12. die eisenfaust am lanzenschaft
      13. meie din liechter schin
      14. under der linden
      15. mayenzeit one neidt
      16. mönch von salzburg (das nachthorn)

   why would i have stopped at merely
Orff's reading of Carmina Burana -
                 sure... that's the entry point...
   but the radio only plays o fortuna till
the cows come home in a full-moon lit night...
yawn...
    if only: fortune plango vulnera,
      veris leta facies, omnia sol temperat,
     floret silva, or... or!
   a monk's love song for the queen of england -
were diu werlt alle min:
              were diu werlt alle min
              von dem mere unze an den Rin,
              des wolt ih mih darben
              daz diu chunegin von Engellant
               lege an minen armen.

but no... it's o fortuna or nothing from that album
on the radio...
    i get it, great song...
   but why is auld lang syne only sung once
a year, on new year's eve?!
              
as with women, so with music, one simply tires of
contemporary examples: not exactly the music
but the lyrics behind the music...
                        music will never change to appease
the brute and the beast... but modern lyricism
is just agitating... it exhaust with its choice
of subject matters...
                                and by the looks of it...
    i spend too much time with music to find myself
in needing the comfort of a woman's voice,
a cuddle or relationship or whatever you want
to call it from now on...
           i am wedded to three women that will
never materialize: Euterpe, Sophia and Amber...
and all the better...
                                i could never wallow in what's
currently being wallowed in...
by some who have these recurrent dreams
and are unable to stop them from recurring...
hence my suspicion with the anglo-saxon traits
of vivid dreaming: this cruch of relying on dreams...
of so easily being ***** by celesto-cerebral powers
that impregnate their sleeping heads with
these realities that only exist in the mind and
a sleeping mind at that!

(nb. not proof read, apologies in advance for any mistakes, upon rereading will correct if any appear - or i'll just keep them...)

look at these two slogans: let's make America great (again)!
complimenting the English variation
let's get our country back! ring any bells? i guess you must
have heard one or the other as an English speaker -
it's hardly surprising - the English Prime Minister singing
a little toodeloo then uttering the word right upon
reentering number 10 - shambles ahoy! every rat and
mutineer bailed - we're in free-fall, Trotsky had it coming,
this guy hasn't - hardliner but a bubble-gum tongue -
it stretches like a joke my English teacher said:
how was copper wire invented? hmm? two Scots
tugging and pulling in opposite directions a two pence coin -
for all their worth, they joked the blond quiff of
both Boris and President Donald Yeltsin - where one
gets drunk on egoism, the other just gets drunk -
even though they don't like him in Scotland, they sure as
hell bought the slogan like a Big Mac - the problem is
there's a zenith, and then a necessary decline -
you can reach the zenith of breaking the 100m sprint,
but then a stock-market dip (necessary) -
much of Britain's exit from the European Union was due
to the campaign trail of the Doodle T - the best politician
i assume is the one that enjoys the most prodding jokes,
which also means the majority of votes,
jokes and votes walk hand-in-hand - people don't want
leaders, they want caricatures - after all, the little existences
have to matter with a joke in the Oval office.
i can't imagine the unholy alliance of feminists running
the place in the west - Theresa May in England,
Hilary Clinton in America, Angela Merkel in Germany,
Ms. Le Pen in France, the Polish prime minister
Beata Szydło - it has to look like a 2nd Cold War scenario,
a break from World Wars... Putin and pukka Tyson Trump
on the other side, macho v. macho - man talk and
the ultimate bromance. i know that Nietzsche referenced
genius too much, assuredly i hear that a lot too around
here with child geniuses storming around for silverware -
children geniuses and not original? so technically you're
talking about data storage in porridge - trained monkeys,
right? those children will be scarred for life as if they
saw their parents ******* - what sort of genius is a genius
if he doesn't work from blank but is there are a memory
gimmick to boost hopes of curing dementia?
philosophy doesn't do geniuses, it does things like Spinoza,
solitary wanderers, loners - outsiders and mesmerisers,
there's no genius in philosophy - there's only solitude -
granted that an open-minded psychiatrist is a modern subplot
in not reading philosophy - where is the ultimate source
of compassionate solely theory based (anti) psychiatry?
in reading philosophy books rather than exercising authority /
abusing it - R. D. Laing is a perfect example -
who wrote after reading philosophy books - i mean read them,
in the English speaking world i recommend reading
the works of the anti-psychiatric movement of the 1960s,
which was much bigger than the Beat Movement - obviously
not as dazzling, but with poetry you're imitating Philippe Petit
(film, the walk) - i watched it and my legs experienced
needles, and a firm assertion of gravity and the location
of the floor - films like that are worse than horror -
you share the heart of the original, but given it's Plato's cave
we're talking about representing the events, you realise
that no matter how much you want your shadow to be
Philippe Petit, you hear from the outside world, your legs
are firmly on the ground - basically: **** that - men are not
born equal, they have to live by principle to be at least moderating
their excellence into a respectable cohesion (democracy) -
quiet simply juggling their strengths with their weaknesses -
man is not born equal, he was to strive for equal measure -
when subduing their strengths and when exfoliating them -
no man is born equal, as no man is an island - the two synchronise.
(i'm deliberately masking what's coming)...
but there is genius in philosophy - but only in one area of
interest - religion... we know that popular beliefs are
grounded in plagiarism - the Trojans became the Romans
via the accounts of Virgil, and we know the Trojans in
becoming Romans plagiarised the Greek polytheism -
Zeus became Jupiter, Poseidon became Neptune,
Cronos became Saturn, Hera became Juno, Aphrodite
became Venus... etc., it was done to mimic the Greek heart
from the defeat at Troy, to invoke a heart that overcame -
every pauper and every king would identify with
this pluralism - but a second plagiarism had to come -
it was prophetically echoed from approximately 2000 years -
the Greeks later plagiarised the Hebrew concept -
the monotheistic concept, yet because their thinking
was so advanced (or so they thought) they dismissed the
sects of the Pharisees, the Sadducees, the Essenes and
the Zealots... their hero was their antagonist - and nothing
of their learning was actually work their concerns since
they boasted of their Aristotle and their Plato and their
Socrates - the peddle-stool effect appeared -
but what if a Latin man (well, these letters are Roman) were
to say - never mind the son, how about the father?
in Christianity the father is rather anonymous in his
omnipresence etc. - but let's assume on the biological tenet
that we are referring to the old testament god -
would we want to plagiarise the Greek plagiarism of
Hebrew? i already mentioned the four prime canons as
imitations of the tetragrammaton - of course they're
intended to not be identical accounts, but there must be
two that are mirror images - i.e. referring to h      &      h
of the tetragrammaton - if there are no two mirror images
then we are bothered - i can see why the Greek mind thought
that Y refers to a convergence, a mother, a father, a child
and the entry point to the gospel: a genealogy -
Y being representative of a convergence - past and present,
following through - this is all about first impressions,
from what i can remember and regurgitate back -
in Catholic school we were taught by majority the gospel
of St. Mark - the others were discredited -
i can't tell you if there are two identical gospels (or at least
with very little variation between them) - what comes after
them is what comes after all essences of religion,
bureaucracy - imams and priests, yoga teachers and
whatever it is that comes with religion for the common man,
but in the new testament this is the essence, a shady
reinterpretation of the tetragrammaton - but a Latin man
who didn't bother to attribute symbols with nouns,
but made his alphabet musically orientated for the
castrato and the choirs to come - a (alpha) b (beta)...
o (omicron / omega) it became obvious that the four letters
arranged as so with missing Adam and missing Eve
would provide more than just four interpretations of
the same event / person - for when a Greek has to cut off
-lpha from a to attach it to another letter to create meta,
the Latin man has only to cut off less, perhaps dentistry's
ah, or otherwise cut off -ee from b... the world is full
of such possibilities, and this is the only area where
genius can be applied to philosophy - the genius of
philosophy is within religion, and nowhere else -
of course mind that i don't identify myself as one -
i treat genius as an angel or a demon, that fairy-tale
race of creatures that whisper into your ear - markedly
geniuses are more powerful in demanding an individual
rather than clones of the individual, e.g. Mohammad
and Muslims, Jesus and Christians... which is why i suppose
the genius of Moses also allowed others to write on sacred
paper, but of course excluding Malachi for falling into
heresy with a polytheistic concept of reincarnation, not
oddly enough Malachi's was the last book before the two
major strands of his heresy emerged like Behemoths.

Truth be told, I was skeptical.
Was this worth the cowry shell equivalent?
My mind was a dry skin covered foot caught on a fleece blanket.
My tongue, lined with the taste of that earthy bile.
Distant isles between Alaska and Ayahuasca,
but it all comes rushing back. Jungle visions.
-
I
        take
                    ten
               ­              sickly      
                                          steps
                ­                                     toward
                                                          ­         the
                                                             ­              teetering  
                                                     ­                                      ethereal
                                                        ­                                                  edge.
-
She's once again lined with that finespun glow.
I'm once again letting the little things go.
She's letting me know for the very first time.
I'm struggling to find words for the very last rhyme.
-
                                        Trudging
       ­     tip-toed
through
                                           ­                       the
                  nonlinear
      narr­ative;
                                       elegantly
                                                       ­     elephantine.
-
Lick your wounds, traveler.
Set your eyes to the pale star's gleam.
Dogma unraveller
with an elementary scheme.
We are nature's instruments.
We are watchers in the night.
Softened slightly by the dissonance
of the dearly departed Wight.
-
He's slipping in and out.
Orbium linguam avium.
Labra lege: hic sunt dracones.
Let us dine on cremated elves.
-
     m sw ll   w  ng sw rds   nd st rs.
R zn hdzooldrmt hdliwh zmw hgzih.
I a         a  o   i          o      a         a  .
I am swallowing swords and stars.
-
.ecnatsbus em evig dna eniltuo ym nekraD
.savnac eruza siht otno seye s'ti tsac dluow nuS eht hsiw I
?suhpysiS fo redluob eht I mA
.noitcerid gnorw eht ni gnilbmut no peek I
-
We're sailing on the calmest of waters,
but there is not a drop to drink.
Bad news for the boy who only rejects omens.
I will not hang a dead bird around my neck.
Retrace the lace and my hazy days of habit,
then let me know your honest opinion.
Exhibit an execution by exsiccation of the most exuberant exiles.
Or am I the only one who's thirsty?
-
                                                      ­                      Who here is the ghost?
I know **** well it's not me.
                                                             ­                            Who said that?
I know I did.
                                                            ­                                        Didn't I?
Couldn't be.                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                    Am I?No.                                  
                         ­           Hopper, this isn't sinking in.
I am not a liar.
-
0111011101100101

011000010111001001100101

01101111011­100100110011101100001011011100110100101100011

011011010110000101­1000110110100001101001011011100110010101110011
-
I was supposed to be writing something down.
Some kind of secret; some kind of rune.
Can you help me find our primal core?
Your carnal truths are mine to keep.
Weren't you supposed to be going somewhere?
The flea burrow, no, The Doubling House.
For in those halls of mold and paper walls
your memories were uneagerly forged.
It's time to shed your summer skin
and begin to eat with your hands.

First born of Chaos, who so fair didst come
        From the old *****’s darksome womb!
        Which when it saw the lovely Child,
The melancholly Mass put on kind looks and smil’d.

Thou Tide of Glory which no Rest dost know,
        But ever Ebb, and ever Flow!
        Thou ******* of a true Jove!
Who does in thee descend, and Heav’n to Earth make Love!

Hail active Natures watchful Life and Health!
        Her Joy, her Ornament, and Wealth!
        Hail to thy Husband Heat, and Thee!
Thou the worlds beauteous Bride, the ***** Bridegroom He!

Say from what Golden Quivers of the Sky,
        Do all thy winged Arrows fly?
        Swiftness and Power by Birth are thine:
From thy Great Sire they came, thy Sire the word Divine.

’Tis, I believe, this Archery to show,
        That so much cost in Colours thou,
        And skill in Painting dost bestow,
Upon thy ancient Arms, the Gawdy Heav’nly Bow.

Swift as light Thoughts their empty Carriere run,
        Thy Race is finisht, when begun,
        Let a Post-Angel start with Thee,
And Thou the Goal of Earth shalt reach as soon as He:

Thou in the Moons bright Chariot proud and gay,
        Dost thy bright wood of Stars survay;
        And all the year dost with thee bring
Of thousand flowry Lights thine own Nocturnal Spring.

Thou Scythian-like dost round thy Lands above
        The Suns gilt Tent for ever move,
        And still as thou in pomp dost go
The shining Pageants of the World attend thy show.

Nor amidst all these Triumphs dost thou scorn
        The humble Glow-worms to adorn,
        And with those living spangles gild,
(O Greatness without Pride!) the Bushes of the Field.

Night, and her ugly Subjects thou dost fright,
        And sleep, the lazy Owl of Night;
        Asham’d and fearful to appear
They skreen their horrid shapes with the black Hemisphere.

With ’em there hasts, and wildly takes the Alarm,
        Of painted Dreams, a busie swarm,
        At the first opening of thine eye,
The various Clusters break, the antick Atomes fly.

The guilty Serpents, and obscener Beasts
        Creep conscious to their secret rests:
        Nature to thee does reverence pay,
Ill Omens, and ill Sights removes out of thy way.

At thy appearance, Grief it self is said,
        To shake his Wings, and rowse his Head.
        And cloudy care has often took
A gentle beamy Smile reflected from thy Look.

At thy appearance, Fear it self grows bold;
        Thy Sun-shine melts away his Cold.
        Encourag’d at the sight of Thee,
To the cheek Colour comes, and firmness to the knee.

Even Lust the Master of a hardned Face,
        Blushes if thou beest in the place,
        To darkness’ Curtains he retires,
In Sympathizing Night he rowls his smoaky Fires.

When, Goddess, thou liftst up thy wakened Head,
        Out of the Mornings purple bed,
        Thy Quire of Birds about thee play,
And all the joyful world salutes the rising day.

The Ghosts, and Monster Spirits, that did presume
        A Bodies Priv’lege to assume,
        Vanish again invisibly,
And Bodies gain agen their visibility.

All the Worlds bravery that delights our Eyes
        Is but thy sev’ral Liveries,
        Thou the Rich Dy on them bestowest,
Thy nimble Pencil Paints this Landskape as thou go’st.

A Crimson Garment in the Rose thou wear’st;
        A Crown of studded Gold thou bear’st,
        The ****** Lillies in their White,
Are clad but with the Lawn of almost Naked Light.

The Violet, springs little Infant, stands,
        Girt in thy purple Swadling-bands:
        On the fair Tulip thou dost dote;
Thou cloath’st it in a gay and party-colour’d Coat.

With Flame condenst thou dost the Jewels fix,
        And solid Colours in it mix:
        Flora her self envyes to see
Flowers fairer then her own, and durable as she.

Ah, Goddess! would thou could’st thy hand withhold,
        And be less Liberall to Gold;
        Didst thou less value to it give,
Of how much care (alas) might’st thou poor Man relieve!

To me the Sun is more delighful farr,
        And all fair Dayes much fairer are.
        But few, ah wondrous few there be,
Who do not Gold preferr, O Goddess, ev’n to Thee.

Through the soft wayes of Heaven, and Air, and Sea,
        Which open all their Pores to Thee;
        Like a cleer River thou dost glide,
And with thy Living Stream through the close Channels slide.

But where firm Bodies thy free course oppose,
        Gently thy source the Land oreflowes;
        Takes there possession, and does make,
Of Colours mingled, Light, a thick and standing Lake.

But the vast Ocean of unbounded Day
        In th’ EmpyrÆan Heaven does stay.
        Thy Rivers, Lakes, and Springs below
From thence took first their Rise, thither at last must Flow.

at lege mor og tørre op
og vaske op og at gå op i
et andet menneske
helt så samvittigheden
klistrer på din tunge,
helt så du glemmer din hud
i dørkarmen
sætter aftryk af blod
i badeværelset, og efterlader  hemmeligheder
i gulvsprækkerne
hvisker historier til væggene, alle
dem jeg aldrig fik fortalt dig
jeg var hende, der rakte kolde
hænder ud i et naivt forsøg på at
få dig til at smile i marts
opdrog dig med moderlige øjne
og blå ord, jeg ellers kun skrev ned
holdte dig i hånden, og lod dig ikke
bevæge dig yderligere
indtil du omsider kunne gå selv
vidste ikke dengang,
du ville gå længere ud,
end du selv kunne  bunde
lærte dig at holde om pigeskuldre
så det skar i organer af glæde
lod dig blive afhængig, og lod dig
skænke samvittighed op til randen
af glasset, så vinen smagte af
cork og følelser, der gav mig lyst
til at stikke tre fingre i halsen
måske bliver jeg væk en dag,
drukner
mig selv så jeg måske er væk
snart

jeg lysner min stemme for dig så mit
stemmebånd stikker i en regelmæssig rytme
det er så forudsigeligt alt det, der ikke må
ske
alt det, der måske sker alligevel
vi er et spil os to med hinanden og vores
små hjerter, der giver trygge stød og fortæller
os noget andet end det, vi siger, når vores øjne
mødes i mild vind
du er næsten smuk, og jeg ville gemme dig
imellem de pæne sider i bogen, og først rive
dem ud til din farmors begravelse for at placere
ordene i buketterne, der aldrig kommer til at
betyde nok
alle de ord, der bliver fortalt med kropsprogets
små lege, men som vi ikke helt forstår endnu
jeg lysner min stemme for dig, men jeg nægter
at elske dig
men glemmer det nok snart

Arthur Schopenhauer
A philosopher resigned
Did point out a truth
With his pessimistic mind
He described the act of reading
Amidst his perpetual pain
As the practice of true thinking
With another person's brain
I find he is correct
In this mystic point of view
For when I read a book
I become the author too

Jorge Luis Borges
An author much revered
Claimed that when we quote the Bard
We ourselves become Shakespeare
The quintessence of dust
Yet yearning to break free
Alive in words, words, words
Upon a literary sea
Shall we think transcendent thoughts
And burst our boundaries?
Wisely venture forth, dear reader.
You are my identity.

A good life is much like a good book.
It engages and enthralls
the mind and senses.
The Life, like the book, has a narrative and episodes
like the book has chapters.
Both are meant to be savored and enjoyed.
Too good in the telling to ever
tempt one to skip to the end,
even though one could.

A good life , like a good book
will long be remembered
and treasured by many.

enjoy each page.

De zon gaat langzaam onder
En zakt weg in de oceaan
Hier aan de rand van de wereld
Voelt alles zwaarder aan

Of ik nu fluister, bid of schreeuw
Alleen is hier pas echt alleen
De leegte van de horizon,
Slechts de golven om me heen

Ik weet niet waar het water stopt
En waar de lucht begint
De kleuren smelten samen
Mijn blik wazig in de wind

En met de zon daalt het besef
Het leven is als een oceaan
Golven en storm zijn relatief
Als je op het strand blijft staan

Ik weet niet waar het heden stopt
En de toekomst beginnen gaat
Zelfs als alles anders wordt
Is dat vaak te weinig, te laat

Maar als de zon haar licht onttrekt
Aan de branding van mijn bestaan
Verlicht ineens van achter mij
Het schijnsel van de maan

Zo leert een lege horizon dat
De hemel de verste zee verlicht
Zelfs in het donker van de nacht
Biedt U mij helder zicht

Arthur Schopenhauer
A philosopher resigned
Did point out a truth
With his pessimistic mind
He described the act of reading
Amidst his perpetual pain
As the practice of true thinking
With another person's brain
I find he is correct
In this mystic point of view
For when I read a book
I become the author too

Jorge Luis Borges
An author much revered
Claimed that when we quote the Bard
We ourselves become Shakespeare
The quintessence of Dust
Yet yearning to break free
Alive in words, words, words
Upon a literary sea
Shall we think transcendent thoughts
And burst our boundaries?
Wisely venture forth, dear reader.
You are my identity.

Als een zoeklicht, opgericht
Naar een hemel vol sterren
Kruist ze lichtstralen, verhalen
En schiet verder in de nacht
Voor één moment, onbekend
Voor de lege eenzaamheid
Dan weer eindeloos, zwart

Een knipperlichtrelatie
Met de glinsterende maan
Stralend middelpunt
Van de nacht die zij zelf
Slechts bliksemsnel verlichten mag

Zij, kortstondig als de dag
En voor de maan niet anders
Dan de sterren
Die hij lichtjaren eerder
Al doven zag

De afstand onoverbrugbaar
Tussen haar en het donkerste licht
Vindt ze zichzelf
In het laatste kwartier
Terug aan de kust

De enige plek waar zijn vingers haar beroeren
Waar zijn passie in de golven
Haar op haar knieën dwingt
Waar de zwarte eenzaamheid
Haar niet langer van hem *******br>Daar waar de maan
Het tij steeds weer keert

starend naar een grijze muur
behalve leegte, alleen maar leegte

starend naar de regen
niets natter dan mijn ogen

starend naar de lege fles
niemand ooit zo nuchter

starend naar de muur
zoveel leegte
zoveel hoop

.for two days a song was haunting me, seemingly unheard before, hidden in the deep recesses of my mind - unrelated by sound or memory... yet burning itself a presence regardless of my faculties... restless... i had to take a walk through bedfords park, havering country park and hainault forest country park - through sun and rain and two bottles of wine... twice seeing bambi and at times scuttling like a rat / misanthrope from the unusual traffic of these parts... to finally find peace... Borodin's prince igor!

there's just enough of gloating to have to muster...
before some grander detail has to take form:
i've been trying to capture the song
i want to listen to: but it's hardly a genesis
of an #A... or... whistling...
             kik kershaw's the riddle?
                         it's not - now that the hindsight ("spoiler")
is presented... it wasn't a bach aria:
or a batCH... well: who's the good surd?
'ere boy... vat's a good tau: ba'ch...
     the would be baчelor: j. s. baχ...
                            a juggling act of... less than...
what james joyce's finnegans' had to offer:
and more: the diacrcrcr-detail-of-antics...
       pop sort of reference points?
                   would they be... if they weren't...
for the per se reasons?
                  details are in the noumenon -
that... axe-folding: exfoliating lesser demand
for: **** in machina...
                                      the sort of details
that mind: the over-simplified woman...
and... the terrible complicated seance of...
when witches were detailed about...
their broomsticks were to be replaced with...
vacuum cleaners... terrible details of
"unnecessary" complications...
man of science man of technology man
of engineering and man of mathematics...
much later... the man of linguistics and...
the troop of ballet dancers... the choreographers
and the composers...    

i have taken enough days to gloat...
working an addiction in reverse...
a bank-roll filled with: plenty of nicotine...
and chem.,
           just waiting for the completed
day... an exercise in language:
and jack daniels bubblegum:
pale blue... blueberry images... gluttons
of colour: those pearls...
back to music... back to music...

   i wanted: rather than tried...
to fathom a pause in the construnction
of the res cogitans: with the usual
punctuation markers...
it's hardly a semi-colon...
          a full-stop... a comma or a full-stop...
hardly the detail of syllables
with diacritical markers...
    hidden letters...
rare in english that sheer and chisel
should come together...

i was thinking of a punctuation marker
to block of all narrative...
not a mere punctuation marker -
not some apostrophre...
                precursor to the possessive article:
's..              's...
even the russians do not have
what i already have...
         namely... дж...   джик is an approximation...
something is hidden within...
dzik itself (boar)... dzikość - wildening...
        a lost attribute for the civilized man...
   дж is... slightly off from the intended:
   дз - while ж (rz or ż-art - joke) -
              is... well... it appears...
but is a few letters apart...
       for example in: drzeć (tear - ter:
not tier - nor teer - backwards to forwards...
latin diphthong of æ) -
                        to tear paper into pieces...
   a tear ran down my cheek...
   to have read: rather than... to simply: read -
and... the reed - a stalk of a bulrush...
               the eastern lands...
                      synonyms and two best known
aliases: the birch tree and the bulrush wetlands...

this is the only best: approximation
of a song akin to Borodin's prince igor...
that can't be hummed... unless heard proper...
not from an abstract of memory...
conflation of adjectives?
abstract is more an adjective than a noun...
for this presentation...

      hiding letters like a good 'ebrew...
           surds detailed with apostrophes...
mollusk legs... exercised...
  a day later and the extreme cigarette high
is "missing": not found...
   щыт "vs" szczyt / ščyt -
                 no less congested than:
                                       dość! enough!

from the initial fascination of working
english into greek...
                     things had to translate themself
into "mordor" regions: Ruś, Krym, Tartar...
the Caucaus...
                        and the Turkic dwarf plebs
of mythical Constantinople... takeover...

- with thinking i wanted to capture:
res vanus: the empty thing...
       a synchronised: symphony of...
with what's being emptied...
while at the same time... with what's being
filled...
the years passed when pacing
with a heart of a turtle...
compared to... the heart of a mouse...
i call it: no known noun...
              to think is to have the heart
of a mouse... easily agitated...
no room for lost narratives...
      hell: better still... without haikus
and all those condoms of denial and...
delayed view-count murmurs...

          a case of: res cogitans:
a thing most animate...
a case for: res vanus:
   aa thing most inanimate...
         it's... a slingshot... a strain on purpose...
it's an incremental addition of purpose...
it's a punctuation mark akin
to: lost the linear...
up toward the copernican east we go...
and then back toward the flat-earth
project of... being able to read a map:
topography... without: the need for 3D:
3D the copernican: it's all very imaginary...
vector alpha:
points beta and gamma...
to find punctuation: a silence...
a bit like... finding gravity...
which isn't a sound... but if it was...
it would be... the sound of falling rain
on leaves or lead plating of a roof...
or... the sound of recycling...
of water... in a waterfall...

by now all the ******* readers have
disappeared... there's no more...
instagram haikus in the system...
there's the drone drill sequence...
a very distant humming sound...
perhaps an impromptu crescendo of
variations of a cat's meow...

absolute: total: шит... more like шитышит:
    шыт if i was... to be honest...
   sheets of paper... floating about...
                    well... i too once thought:
those russians... with they cyrillic...
but no diacritical markers...
      well K in a mirror: ж...
                      no one told me about brining
mirrors into the project...
     sh-ch-
sz-cz-                щыт - height: well... zenith...
bl-ы'h bl-ы'h: blah... blah...
       it's a letter: the russians call a "sound"...
like the english should start calling
the letter "g" or the "h" a >sound<:
surd...    an apostrophe: gnome: 'nome...
gnosticism: 'nosticism...
                                 'alf the 'arvest...
prop'er: cockers and pouch of punches...
   very ******* irish sober to me...
brings all the harlequins and loon'doon'ish
to the backyard for:
                   milch-schütteln-und-schäkel...

and then i return the cork back onto the corkscrew...
as i pa'k - my... packaging... CCCP... comrade...
the folded soviet shop...
don't worry terrible ivan... there's a new shop
in town... the iron has morphed into silicon...
see-through curtains and...
this virus... did more damage...
than any... brave lion of the jihad would ever...
circumstance of the affairs of westminster bridge...
they would "epstein" one through
one in a while...
                 to **** chicken the populace
into a cucklicking KKK strut dance of:
burning hoods and bras and crucifixes...
and ******...
                              conventional... formal...
language usage? please reserve that for...
the golf course and business talk...
                write? write what? a kandinsky?!

yes... a big hello ******* from
tiktok and twitter...
1 minute videos and... 180 characters...
         i feel constrained... claustrophobic...
if... i can't write an imitation Dickens chapter...
1000 words is ******* lemonade...
2000 words is... regurgitating a day's worth
of a newspaper... saturday edition...
which includes the editorial and the magazines...
3000 words? a truly rare thing...
      given that... conjunctions and their details
are not counted: ' - is both an apostrophe and a surd
letter... t'at all depends: on the "v.a.t."...

the whole point was...
finding excuses to write about quitting smoking
are other... they were all fine: crack ******* smoked
when the levels of nicotine were dropping...
the upper body was exercised...
but the legs weren't... mollusks and oysters for *****...
or... toes...
to count... oysters for toes...
but when the legs have been exercised...
and a balance has been reached...
there's little to gloat about... about...
quitting smoking...
there's a need to say: the glory of the tongue
and its palette when walking...
the budding beauty of things surrounding me...
all blushing envy of the green...
  self-respecting green and its almost
teasing green phosopherscent insomnia
in the rubric of the sun: next to wake...
next to hide... a bud of bishop hues...

insomnia green of the forest...
                     poor bambi (x2)...
                    zinfandel rosé!
count! syllables! nurse! scalpel!
zin!-f'ah-del... rou-s'eh...
                              oh remind me of the night...
and the forest... the blinking moon
by count of clouds obstructing its glee...
turned into a melting moon...
spray-painted over the leaves with
its last will of agitated: clingy mercury tinge...

the debate: "debate" wasn't about...
i took 3 days to gloat about quitting smoking...
there are more important affairs to mind...
notably! notably?

example!

la traviata is an opera in three acts by (giuseppe) verdi
set to an italian libretto by francesco (maria) piave
                                                 (verbatim: i.e. borrowed)...

there... they cite... the composer...
    who doesn't need a first name, since: verdi is...
synonymous with verdi and opera composition...
but...
         yeah... you need to mention the first name
and the surname of... the libretto: francesco piave...
the opera...
      music... and... the words...
well so much for the music...
but... last time i heard... a violinist holds...
a violin and a bow...
                         what's the opera singer
to hold? the melody? no! he needs to hold...
words...

   today i passed a family in the forest...
a mother, a father... two children...
                   and a grandfather...
maternal / paternal... i don't know...
i was already on my second bottle of wine...
the woman asked me:
   'will we get back to the car park if we turn
around on this route?'
        i was already eyeing them with
a curiosity prior...
i uttered the words... 'you should...'
          not... 'i hope so... since i'll be
testing that question'...
or 'you will...'
                           several minutes later
in my own solipsistic interlude...
            you should... i swear to god...
sometimes i say something and can't
see letters behind the sound...
      like: i shouldn't really see: meow...
behind the sound a cat makes...
since... a cat doesn't just make an: ego sum: meow
universal statement...
there are variations...
    'you should'... i repeated...
slightly drunk and... whatever... i didn't see
any letters in the sound i made...
           for once... not the last time, though...

to abide in such joys from a past -
chevalier, mult estes guariz -
                 to cite charmlemagne and prince rolo:
the scandinavian convert -
who's (whoz: not who is) descendents
were the morphed vikings: the normans...
who conquered england...
        since the predecessors couldn't...
walther von der vogelweide:
                    palästanalied...
all through the german autobahn...
                   the word... AUSFAHRT!
the lands owned by the lithuanian who
married: and by marriage became converted...
from the last pagan prince of europe:
enclosure rhapsody of caged
elephants: prior: mammoths...
  the estonian bulwark...
von meer zu meer (von baltisch zu schwarzes meer)
these jagiełło platitudes of envy... chełm...
      sch'war'zes...

begotten not made: blistered...
the scarf of colour to capture the frenzy of
autumn... a shawl best worn to...
loot the colour and suffocate the subject
with: no past a dream and a dream
without rucurrence...
to borrow from the past as much
if not more from fiction!
to say: once they pickled Barbarossa...
come the third crusade... disgruntled oath-breakers...
sought the prussians...
and the lithuanians... and all that land
to the east...
had they only known... what the prussians
would make of the absence of the saxons
of the pomeranians and the bavarians...
i wasn't there... no...
but a romance is a romance is:
here's to... no ode to a ******* sailor:
capn' ahab... or the rodin instruction
knee deep in the mud at ypres...
or the mass-graves of german youth
or: how kaisser wilhelm and that in-breeding
crew of familial ties tore europe
on the altar of the bull...
before this bourgeoisie whittle adoolph HIT!
came about and charged the former
bitzmarck ***** and the elites with...
eh... the story is so told and so old...
"they" couldn't fathom the middle-project
of the khaki and ******* not coming
from their... high-brow... aristocracy...
better to reign in hell than to serve in heaven...
choir boy whittle adoolph said:
i'll borrow the schnurrbart from chaplin...
after all... with a surname like mine...
a ****** or a chaplin is no... WIN-D'SOR!
yes... apostrophe 'ere if not to hide a surd...
it's to elevate punctuation...
for the sake of syllables... the hyphen is not
enough... vowel catcher tetragrammaton
invocation! the first arm of the god:
the second arm is for: ha ha ha! laughter!
cynic and satyr!
            eh... let's leave the stoics to their
love of labouring over the fate of oysters!
protestants and pre-destination-alists...
clarvoyant calvinists!

                         from the decadence of a "lost"
empire... what "pseudo" history is to be
resurrected... romanced...
the angevin empire?! that there is a past...
the "lesser" dream...

a patrick and andrew a george...
and ef bwy newid troi (he who...
altered path) -

troedfilwr - petty velsh:
quasi-silesian / kashubian / little warsaw
of the "bigger picture" masovia...
CAPital neu...
          
- ever write something...
at a snail's pace: crow pecking...
because a moth has just flown into your room...
and... unlike... holding a seashell to your
ear... to find the ivory shore...
and the details of false echo of... galloping
waves...
you clench your hand...
and hear... fluttering... like the sound of...
desperately falling rain..

madame butterfly is an opera
by (giacomo) puccini, with a libretto
by luigi illica and giuseppe giacosa

the magic flute, k. 620, is an opera in
mozart to a german libretto by
emanuel schikaneder:

           der verk is in the form of a singspiel:
singing and spoken dialogue...
my demise: the awe... interludes of...
theatre... in an opera!

               rushing rushing and... kandinsky
the colt serenade kind...
  with... canvas... and an auction house
of reserve that... fridge magnet enterprise
of a single mother of... 6...
              
you couldn't get an opera...
working from the carmina burana...
the... libretto... thankfuly...
constricted the music...
you'd only get what you already have...
a medley... opertics instead of an opera...
sketches of an opera...
    the whole custard mess...
the rhubarb the rasberry "finicky"...
         the Goliards and the... gonnards...

               were diu werlt alle min
               von dem mere unze an den Rin,
               des wolt ih mih darben
               daz diu chunegin von Engellant
                lege an minen armen

the quid pro quos and the... anon. circus
spectacular sheen!
  
  what is the composer without the libretto?
the violin player has his violin and bow
attached: like some... frankenstein's take
on an elaboration of an autumnal fallen:
leaf of: a "false" limb...
dire desires for a lingering crescendo...
of a piece... without an overture...
bothercome children and the good life...
nothing worth clarifying the nouns:
to a supper... a goodnight...

                       bedtime with nabokov?
my take... well... it becomes apparent...
when... the local... easily accessed by the many...
avenues of love... are exercised...
what remains? taboo...
and once the taboo is... investigated...
invested in... well then...
there's that all overpowering tease of
thought not materialised into a will...
a 14 year old girl... below the mark...
she's 16 and i'm 18...
and i'm not her... cousin and this is not
israel...
                  after a while... the only *** available
is... the forbidden type...
and there's... so much freedom in
what's forbidden... when it's only thought...
the complex: θ(ought) complex
that becomes φ(inking)...

              the moment "she" starts to
perceive the mirror...
       and you're looking into the concept
of time and of glass...
  
but then... there's... the libretto... and the composer...
the rare event of: richard wagner...
where there's a schizoid... bilingual...
"in theory": der kommissar working 7/11
on the advent of: neu-muzik zu kommen!

  queen of the night aria contra...
my sleeping karma - satya - ahimsa...
that one: "last" cigarette...
me... a wife and a child...
        tidy... if i only aimed at...
the fraction to no effect...
the wife and the sole child...
i'd be doing all the proper details...
a wife and... the hungarian model...
of at least: towing 2...
      hardly an embitious venture if only
towing the holy trinity of:
fake hey-gay-zeus fake myriam fake josephus...

not looking for queen of the night aria...
   nor satie's gnossienne no.1 sampled...
ezio bosso - under the trees...
           vittorio monti
jean-paul egide martini {/^.5.p 6^)_(0$drd...
toast!
it was... bothering me... started last night...
took 6 rough miles to get the tune
out from my head...
into a coffin... of sorts...
it was... borodin's prince igor! all along!

p.s. re-flex: the politics of dancing...
       duran-duran: the reflex; ******-pointer-ler;
h'american pie contra dad:
   the gay bar: electric sexes und siebens:
hefyd...                         deutsche bankschisch...
zeit (time) and the ruschischen:
              цeit... always conflated as...
indistinguishable by a ****** / lithuanian...
           цeit - bißcuit... crumble: чarcoal...

hey presto: a *******... voilà contra eureka!

drengestemmer der hvisker forførende
og pigestemmer der skriger hidsigt
mørket der omridser
det billede af skygger der danser
med røde roser i hånden
og blod på tanden
for vi er alle kanibaler
samler på menneskehjerter
som vi forsigtigt placerer i vores glasbur
et ekstra til samlingen
og vi æder resten af kroppen
i det violetblå lys fra skærmen
får vi afvide at vi ikke er gode nok
så mine øjne græder rødvinstårer
fordi jeg lever et liv hvor rusen
er min eneste livstilstand
og det er sjælendt at jeg føler mig i live
i et narcissistisk samfund
hvor blonde piger er de eneste prinsesser
og knækkede skæve piger bare er
i stykker
for *** tror ikke på kærligheden
og hvem vil også
lege med en dukke der ikke virker?
så indtil der kommer en der vil
lappe hende sammen og reparere hende
må *** bare side i vinduet og kigge
på de andre dukker
som render rundt og æder hinandens
hjerter
og *** drømmer om et liv
hvor kærlighed ikke var lig med smerte
og forelskelse ikke var en dødsdom

let's just get it over and done
with...
   i'm becoming more
and more fatigued
by the argument
   & the counter-argument...
the style of dialectics
where everyone slides
back into their cubicle
                 of solipsism none
the wiser,
no more convinced...
       ******* riddled with shackles...
for whatever these are
worth...
  the mind is less
a labyrinth of confusion
and more a charge of being barred...
i could have once concerned
myself with a "freedom"
of speech...
           i write,
because talking has become
                something to the privelege
of a school bully...
  (privilage...  ****...
   i already said something
about the french language....
no distinct syllables...
  pri-vi-lege:
   privy-6-ledge)

could have simply sentenced
akin....
like metaphors:
i walked into a dark alley,
****** on a wall,
left a bottle,
expecting the police
to corner me
in the act of not
******* in a bottle,
telling myself
that the question
    'what are you doing?!'
would result with an answer:
'please don't ask me for
a metaphor'
and then stating then blatant
obvious:

'the **** does it look like?!
playing miles davis
through a cut-off
trunk of an elephant?!'

yes, happy person,
part of the dodo project...
antithesis
of the current tabloid
culture of fame...

             fatalism
is no nihilism....
     i drink, i drink to excess...
i am obliged
to the parasite of ego...
          i forgot:
is this the time i take
to responsibility?
          imagine, like nietzsche said,
heaving up the entire
human "project"...
in a pose best ascribed to Atlas...
thank **** i will not have
raise some mongrel
quasi-Greek *******...

         oh look:
(me) waving bye-bye...
            stealth suicide
and a waiting game...
       what am i supposed
to do? laugh? cry?
              i'll do what i did just
last night:
punch myself and giggle...
  
  there's a room?!
there's a pink elephant?!
there's a pink elephant in
the room?

             philosophers
ascribed all words,
to be in status of metaphor...
via the " " exclusions...
    if they would have
so otherwise?
   the simple italics
          would have sufficed.

yes, nuance, counter-focus
of metaphor...
ambiguity...
    
               the comic realism
of a no-taboo comedy of
the anglo-saxon "ethnicity"...
some, jokes...
are just too exhausting to
laugh at;

don't you think?

  by that i imply:
                           concensus...
     no, not all jokes
are funny...
  some jokes have
plenty of Loki's lethargy
to be ascribed to them...
then?
face-like-a-punching-bag...
plums... bruises...

or simply: over-stating
one's freedoms...
    let me enjoy the last
days of this dodo project
and a proverb arriving
from Kierkegaard...

      the freedom to think
can never overshadow
the freedom to speak...

                          Ι ∴ Σ...
what other function
of the body prompts
the same immediacy of having
to react to "it" / self?

              bothersome....
this very modern
counter the primitive
seance of the existence of
thought...

other synonyms
to thought?
     an ought...
          morality...
narrative...
        fiction...
fact...

     basic feud:
       when journalism forgot
to distinguish fact from
fiction...
right about in the book review
section of its magazine
come either Saturday
or Sunday...

out from the shackles
of Communist Russia
and into the shackles
of the mob rule West...
                       pollack's luck.

Jeg vil prøve at komme i form .
Jeg vil prøve at slappe af .
Jeg vil prøve at være mere opmærksom .
Jeg vil prøve at være en bedre leder .
Jeg vil prøve at læse mere .
Jeg vil prøve at være mig selv .
Jeg vil prøve at leve livet .
Jeg vil prøve at få en tilværelse .
Jeg vil prøve at lege mere .
Jeg vil prøve at få en sjæl .

**** at prøve.
Jeg vil gennemføre.

Salem

'Round her bare feet, hear I go,
Tail twitching to and fro.
When it's time to take a nap,
I will jump on Tina's lap.

The life of a cat is quite contrary.
I am fickle when you're merry
If you wonder where that's at,
It's your priv'lege when you're a cat.

When I let you stroke my fur,
Do it right or I might stir.
Feed me good food, not just crap,
Something tasty for my cap.

The life of a cat is quite contrary.
I am fickle when your merry.
If you're a human who understands,
I might even lick your hand.

Round her bare feet, here I go,
Tail twitching to and fro.
Now I think I'll take a nap,
Hop across to Vicky's lap.

DWAALLICHT

Schoorvoetend naar binnen. Je herkent het gelijk:
De vale muren, het formica aanrechtblad,

Continu malende gedachten onder een
Flikkerende tl-buis—twijfel, hoop, twijfel...

Ze weet dat je kwam voor je fonkelende vlam
Vol beloften, maar er steeds weer vandoor

Met een ander. Overtuigd van je terugkeer,
Met lege handen gebald in je zakken.

Waarom dit verzet? Wanneer zul je leren
Wat het wezen is van je afmattende dromen— 

Bezwijken voor Haar onvoorwaardelijke liefde?

Michaelmas Term

We might as well call it Augustinemas term
Beginning as it does on Augustine’s feast;
And though there are Vandals outside the gates
And Pelagians within, we must read

Tolle lege: take up and read. We read
We read because the scholar at his book,
Its whispered pages strewn with Paters and Aves,
Rebukes the insolence of each transient age -

The drums, the guns, the men of destiny
Are but processionals of shadows and mist

Community College for Everyone

“Tolle Lege - Take up and read”
-a child’s voice in Saint Augustine’s Confessions

You do not need permits or paperwork
A license, vouchers, sufferance, consent,
Authorization, sanction, approval,
Passport, certification, charter, chit,

Security clearance, brevet, code, key,
Party card, registration, ration book,
Rubber stamp, fingerprints, user name, badge,
Photo identification, pin number

To read a poem on a summer afternoon
You do not need permits or paperwork

De roep om loutering
mondt uit in een schreeuw
en ontsnapt als een zucht

Botst tegen lege blikken
uit een ver verleden
gedroomd door gapende reuzen

Als ik iemand anders had willen zijn,
moest ik al de rest erbij nemen.
Van het grote lege magazijn
tot het alle ramen zemen.

Van de pijn van een gemiste jeugd,
verpeste liefde waar ik me nog zo
op had verheugd, tot de dagen
dat ik me zelf aan verpest zal wagen.

Zo erven wij van boven tot onder
en van zij tot zij, niet alleen de genen
alsook de wel of niet erg blij
en de neiging tot hypochonder.

Not the dignity of work
Rather, the proper use of leisure

America gone berserk
Political brain seizure

Eye on the musicians
Ear on silent forest

Mind on yon Taiwan
Teachers to implore us

Tolle lege. Tolle lege.
Mr. Markson too

It just tick tocks on
Horton hears a who


            Do you?

Lege hoofden, volle ronde dingen,
laat die mensen alstublieft niet opnieuw
karaoke zingen.

jeg elsker dig og mig
men hader os to
nu ser jeg altid solen stå op, uden at tænke over det

lugten af sult følger efter dig
fordi for os, er der er kun noget at fejre når sommeren er ovre
sensommer pige
altid lidt forsinket og hjertet ikke kalibreret til højeste funktion
det hænger ikke sammen, ligesom vi to

det gemmer sig i maden på tallerkner med guldkant og i havet under skrald og cigaretskoder
nogle gange viser det sig i sure bemærkninger og desperate udenomsknald
det sådan man bedst løber, når man ikke længere vil lege
men du må tro på hvad du hører, for jeg har ikke længere tid til at forklare mig
hvad end de siger, plus det løse
kan jo være at du kan få et problem mindre, hvis du hader lidt mere end du elsker

Schoenen als een dagje zonder
wolken, als een draaitje en geen
kolken aan de lucht.

Met een helder, hemels lachje, lag je
onder die lege lucht te dromen.
Laat maar komen, die
beelden van perfectie,
figuren met reflectie
in jouw zeegroene blik.

Je was jaloers en ik
verwacht je, smacht je
naar die klik.
Vlak voor de nacht haar waren stalt
en alles plots en klaps, ineens,
zoals jij hoort,
in elkaar past en ineen valt.

Niks behalve mis lukt.
Ik monolieg
over mijn zwijgen.

Ik loop levenslessenlang gebukt
onder een kopie van een kopie
van een robber met mijn eigen
geestig.

Voor hetzelfde geld
deed ik niet veel ander werk.
Geprezen, gewezen, deze
man is meer duivels dan de kerk.

Schilderijen langs de trap en lege zalen vol met mensen.
Ik had me geen beter beschreeuw kunnen wensen.

Ze roepen, ze sleuren, ze trekken en ze treuren,
ze wilden dat ze anders waren, in de arm knijpen
en plots de knepen kennen, zichzelf begrijpen.

De mens is vast geen onverander lijk.
Voor velen ben ik slechts een wissel,
een speler op de bank, aan de zijk-
ant. En ik twijfel of het bedissel-
en ervan
de moeite nog wel is.

Dezelfde foto's op de mooiste plaatsen,
op vrijdagavond scheve schaatsen,
de wereld vraagt je beter te gedragen.
En wij, wij lachen met die vragen.