I lie on an endless sea
Floating in circles of thought
Drifting on an eternity of feelings
Projecting on to an astral plane
My human emotions of fear and doubt
But longing, nay needing
What was given to me
At the explosive moment
When the soft Sayers of love and destiny
(who sit in waiting below bozos trademark
and above the triangle point of bone
at the bottom of the face)
Is finally and intimately
Introduced to the most exquisite
Opposite that sits in the
Same position as its opposite equal
And the muscle behind the spoken gates
Of anticipation is so energized with passion
They can no longer be held at bay,
Break free from hiding and searching
For reciprocated passion and
Emotional electrocution
And no, never, is there foulness
In the bitter morning cigarette
That pays homage between the lips
So proportionately perfect the introduction
Of unspoken breath between two sets
Of sayers, freezes time forever in a
Block of eternity called oblivion
Where everything that had ever happened
In time, from the big bang,
To the very second before,
Compressed collectively, pale in
Importance to this single solitary moment
Of forever.
I am a lost boy in this kiss
Where am I in this overload of
Sensory bliss
From the smell of her
As she washes over me
To the feel of her face and hair
As it glides through my fingers
Like wanderers on a pitch black night
Who need no light and
Require no map
For this is where my fingertips
Were meant to be
And they play the role, they were made for.
Then breath is held,
For it is no longer as important
To draw air into my lungs
Since I must already be dead
Because surely nothing else could be
As beautiful in my life as this, forever,
And when lips are ultimately
And unwillingly parted
And eyes are opened to what was
Lost and forgotten
In the stopping of time or
Was it lost in the meaningless of time
Whatever the case
My eyes have been opened
Not only to a more splendid sight
But to insight
An internal collection of every magnificent
Painting ever painted, and every
Wonderful word ever written, and all
The exquisite expressions ever spoken,
And every passion felt by those
Acutely intuned to their sensory system.
Alas, every magnificent, wonderful, exquisite
Occurrence was only a minor player
In history, until mankind's existence
Came to a ******
With but a kiss.
I am a river of everything
Of all that is wonderful and beautiful.
This is a story of a kiss
Just that one syllable
Alone and isolated in the expanse of
Larger words
But a kiss, this kiss, the first and only
Kiss ever
Is more important then words
Can say or express
With their limitations to coherent thinking
And more meaningful the my mind
Can comprehend in its broken down
Simplicity
A kiss
Nothing less
But everything more
A kiss to end all kisses
The envy of all other kisses
A wonderful, beautiful kiss
A kiss.

My room is dark, pitch black, the calming security of the endless nothing before my eyes, I take a step, then another, the out skirts of a tuffeted bed spread scrape against my knees, I am blind for merely minutes, but I feel more intuned with life already, my castle has smoke rising like the oceans tide, the all too familiar smell, of **** burning to ashes, like it does to my thoughts, I'm burning my brain, but it's better then feeling...lost. Haha dad, though you never raised me, I'm just like you.

The connecting notion is "blindly, without foreseeing."

From <https://www.etymonline.com/word/temerity>

Sad, you, city child, silly old man says.
Sad, you, city child, saying so hateful a thing,
saying you would hate being a bird,

saying you cannot imagine having nothing to do,
but fly around heaven all day, scrounging
for scraps, ah
child,
see those crows, hear their song,
are they laughing/
yes, at you.
I believe all black birds laugh, coo,
if you care, is common to doves, coo
to caw,
as a bird, these are common sense,
saying, I am here, now, if you care,
let me know,
otherwise,
this is my rest of the moment, time to feast.
I come to
eat the bugs that eat the dead,
caws, never any famine
until fire, or

catastrophic reordering of earthly things.
As when men lost sight of time signs,
trains of thought, fought all natural
signs of times too long for one
generation to know alone,
but watch,
hide, and watch.

Isotropic radiation field
pressure moulding matter
from raw mater, really
immaterial substances accruing
oomph
to act as a force in field, from
out to in
becoming one in time and nothing
more.

Or drifting into sleep as sound
silence imposed enwraptured wait/


A mighty rushing wind…

Eight billion voices
counting cadence, 30 per,
once intuned as day to night,
global steps through ever empty
time continuance field-set-frames
expanding as we imagine unbelieving
unimaginable,
in a structure so big,
us, no mortal takes so many breaths.
We listen, loosening tight why-knots in
wish reports so oft negated in time today,
I am in this wind passing as gas
of eight billion breathers, but
between the exspelled hex
human 'spiration, so soon
seeming freebird familiar
with the bass line,
my toe taps a happy dittydahdit dah didah.
- haps as happened,
- may haps per se
- FTA
sent into the wind every minute or so.

keep looking, soon we see, you, there
suddenly blue shifting seeing me seem
no longer red and running away,
but we both are like fairy floss,
pale blue dot convergent
gentle minds, fitted with tamed tongues,

hearing laughter welcome the transformation.

the emotion i'm most intuned with is (sadness disguised as) anger.
i'm angry (sad) that I am the way I am.
i'm angry (sad) that people can't fix me.
i'm angry (sad) that I keep being misunderstood by the people I thought knew me the best.

my stitches keep bursting open.
from beneath a red valley rushes towards the surface.

making eye contact with my reflection -
I am not looking at me.

i'm angry (sad) I can't feel the love others ****** towards me.
It doesn't feel real.
Disingenuous at best.
i'm angry (sad) everyone has their distraction  except for me.
i'm angry (sad) that my motivation is being weaned by anxiety.

Reality is a blur, a foggy consistant blur.
Everyday is the same melancholic routine.
10 on the dot.
One sunnyside up egg with a toasted sourdough slice.
Citrus tea with honey and an amusing podcast to prepare.
Slap on foundation and eyeliner, to look somewhat "happy" for a straining workday to come.
Thank god for the coming 4 hours there, my mind is of spotless.  
Not a thought of you comes inching in my deserted cold mind in those 4 hours.
As soon as I punch out and put away the fake smiles of the workday, you pop right up.
This in general is not bad in a way that I loathe you, the memory of you,
But bad in a way that I miss you.
Enormously.
The old routine was much more methodically medicore but it was pure *******, beyond happiness.
Up at 9, waffles with milk, with tv in the background.  
As I can not fathom the desire to be at work already.
Walking in, I longed to see your deep icy blues that just melted me instantly as soon as I saw them,
Into a puddle, there I go.  
Their target are aimed towards my ungraceful demeanor, it still shocks me through out my whole body.  
Tingling, Inviting and Warm.
Feelings I felt everytime you nearby, I instantly knew it was you.
Present day.
As I drive towards what seems to be another morrow towards the vapid and grave, I look for you.
I felt those blues that day of a party.
I felt them as I walked away from a group conversation.
I felt them as I mourned the loss of someone.
I felt those blues that first night.
The night we met.
Vanilla ice cream, in the cold air and a life changing experince we both intuned.
Instinctively, I trust its profoundly there to you too.
Even now and till your departing day.
I felt those blue eyes.
As much sorrow and grief it brings me always, and probably will be till my final and sweet death,
I dream back to the days I would walk in, and melt in my puddle, as I felt and longed for those icy blues.

They sought to invoke the midas Chassidus
(striving for the most pious behavior possible)
-------------
So, beyond the beanie,
we put loyalty to those who wear it,
holding rude pen from local feathers
or reedy grass,
feel the reason
writing
calls readers, you
can do this, causally becoming aitia,
the blamed doer,
amen,
I said that, so… I suffer… what, waiting
is, suffering only means, wait, or

put up with it. Art intuits recollection
of functional whole systems, means
for prying flat stone, sand stone,
ready to be made ready for use,

usual duty, any
given day, wake up, measure up,
make day mean all of it, as it occurs

around,
bubblewise,
along, riverwise path, ruts
made from graves, with their ends
kicked out.

Ghosts of all we ever wished we knew,
we all, stretch, and taste our teeth,
sniff and scratch,
listen for wind, look for shadows dancing,
seeing the moss gone dark again,
after these past few rainy days
----------------

From inside, within-
without walls, bubblewise,
imperfectly spherical,
no sharp edges,

-in being, not out, not ex-cluded
in-cluded, clouds or clues, referentially?
You know what I mean? Clusion closure.

Boxed-in, floor and roof and walled, inclosed.

Flaw, there
in the gem, a bubble, yes, in the lens.
A blind spot…
minor blemish, or, reaching back to magic,
allowing magical thinking, distant causal agencies,
words intuned to old rythms,

the ump ump song, or the umph umph song,
pigeon strut, or the ****'s walk,

old hawk, old crow, eeee-haw! We saw
we saw, we knew,
we saw clear through, to another side of everything.

Measures demanding means of making them,
seeing things in perspective…
from any perch.

Land and look around, listen to the locals singing.
I could live here,
if I found water and recognized food, waiting,
watching other things eat,

thinking, tongue-wise former of signals, seeing
through my eyes, feels no flow, signaling
that looks good,

witness the little skink nibbling, fugaciously,

THAT is a word, as sudden as she knew, she saw,
that looks good
to eat, for food.

As suddenly as ever, ever dawned on her, of course,
root, branch, seed, harvest, birds, bees, boy oh boy,

what you never learned, all that time,
you and the
{Idea of all we see, and may call, as I call this,
this it is. My highest intuition, top of the reactionary
stack,
vertical order in a linear mind set with neuron-axon,
tactile response teams, responsible for being good,
doing some life-support-level good.

Not to steal and **** and destroy the functionally good
enough, but to steal back stolen idols used to divine.
Put some ****** good ideas to work again.
The ladder has not been needed.
Need being, nothing where some defined thing,
definitely could be put to good use,

we could do with a Babble-undoer. A clear-ifying agent.

If I do not this thing, this thing is never done, aborted
at first kiss, no taste, nothing sweeter than wine,
wine, I spat, at first taste, too,
nasty, not sweet, unless,
due to time and chance,
your first taste of wine comes right from the vine,
where the little foxes play at being little foxes,
as seen from a happy father/mother pair,

there in the vineyard, since sunrise, in the valley.


----------------

From the valley floor, we contain ourselves,
we content ourselves with shorter days
than flatlanders use, our shorter days,
come on slow, so slow, old men,
like me, we can walk to the top,
of this next little trough, and
see, out across the flat bottom,
where the ocean was in mastodon days.

--------------
If you will, some days this trail calls
for more stops to think, than when I ran
with my dogs,
I can not do that now, partly due to
too many people,
and no eating of dogs.

I, yes, if I try, I laugh now, with a fiftyish
riverside family man, laughing as he skinned
some shorthaired pointy muzzle kinda dog,
coulda been a rabbit,
or a pet chicken, or duck. Hand raised for 4-H.

Clouds pass, I watch
from my perch above most things,

humming bird high, raven high,
a little lower than the graceful
turkey vultures,

floating in a thought bubble,
blessed with a bit of silicon and dawn,
detergent, resilience ******,
flexible reasoning for remaining

it is said, we all differ slightly,
we are the spiritual a- eh, what do we
call our bubbling minds, intuned on lines for re
asonic resonance morphing most ideas
of all mankind, at once, could muster into a mob,
ah,
that's anxious ifery, ala the - strong man theory -
we think together,
whatsoever,
as a word, is of greater reach than many think,
whatever never gets there, let it be, whatever
believe it or not,
there is as far as that goes, the realm of all wedoms.

Elohimdom come, as a man thinks…
we think
is there a state of common prayer, inside a temple,
time tells,
dig it.

Live and learn, good and evil, done, not in doing,
but in learning the patterns, coknowing the knacks,

confabulation favor, prophecy,
who smote thee with wisdom's switch- on and off,

alternation currency op-onionates reasonates, hesi

odd, jump in mind, we think we heard a famous name,

Hesiod, said, rather,
my connection to Wikipedia said,
He is generally regarded as the first written poet
in the Western tradition
to regard himself as an individual persona
with an active role
to play
in his subject

From <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hesiod>

Who should object, word play, is not warfare.
Not. imp
implicative, enfolding, implications, crease, cross
winds in reasons,
- come let us. Is spoken by whom, to whom
your guess, good as mine,
who wishes each bit its own bit in spacetime, I am
sure you may imagine, using a mind from your library,
- Think another way, a while
- get the sense of being in another wedom.
Then see we all exist in a very odd set of circumstances,

Two shall chase a thousand, according to a pattern…

Pride, in my time, is a deceptively sticky birdlime,
along certain fructifying branches,

where a carcass of the dodo sits on display.
Steve Erkle-wise, asking a buffalo skull how
Minerva's owl, reflected

in the dawn sheen on the bubble of all we know
about now.

Word play is warfare to my minds,
I have a vast array of war formed hats,

archaic armor on the croc branches,
and beetle and ant twigs provide noding.

Words gathered, and used, amused for pleasure,
sure plea, each request taken is made, surity,
reusable, freely, being fair, ideas are in the air.

believe me, the begging story cries,
surely, we live on the tell, safe bet,

tip the nonsensical into the phor of Meta,
as an afterthought, in the zeitsprach

mit zwei, und ich, wir sind das Sein,

To ward, guard, regard
each set, each pair,

each one may nay say, or nothing.

Adages and proven herbs, proverbially
persist

past due dates on mental library cards,
due to reading once, you know,
a thing, or some things,
are said to have been
found known,
and nowadays,
Google fetch is real, power
remembering clearly, any scriptura,
as any amusement, mental act, mind game,
word play bemusing as,
all the people say, amen.
You know what that means. So be it,
characters come in subsets, recognized
according to this flavor deemed westerly
- whatsoever two or more of us agrees

whenever, fasting slowly, in recollection, why
again did we fast… is ai ah, reason…

and there's that rub, the touch, you know.

Fear of death, it is known, is common.
Loss of that fear is measured madness, ha, ha.

who will it be tomorrow, you or me,
asks arthur lee, on the beach on the low side
as the current assumes a state, occurrency
o-pe open-opine love is not a gap
ping
mimetic emetic, mittere, mis-mission

accomplish, splat. The bee who found the flowers.
On the windscreen.

Autopilot, trial run. A did'jgital balsa wood fighter…

cruising around Steam's rest in peace options.

A curse, upon the worst
Evils first revelation
My life was intuned
Like the Devils cartoon
A game of chess A test of the best
Corrupted mind Hard to find
Granted the finest attributes
Devils charm highest altitude
Surrouneded by wickedness
Falling victim to his trap
Collapsing under his control
I received the name of The Devil
Chaos causing havic formal rebel
My visions on a whole nother level
Thee unforgiven, was only the beginning
The baddest one in town, all around
I guess my life was destined for destruction
However, a voice spoke with instruction
Dwelling in my agony for I was stamped for life
I was given hope high above from the heavens
Upside down yet I flipped it all around
Heat began rising, flames bursting out in rage
Same chapter just a different page
A win or lose situation, required expectations
This is my curse from birth
Gifted fallen spirit always with it uplifted
From chains keeping me within *******
Im a fight give it everything I got
Taking place right in front of me
Recognize the land is all free for inhabitants
Stay focus never put your guard down
I remember as a child
The Devil took me by the hand
Walking right beside the evilmaker
Taking charge like thee undertaker
Never had a choice always labeled
A villain the bad guy who never win
The world had me in a spin
Thats fine cuz I came back much harder
Reaching out much farther
My story I share, you cant compare
Its only a small portion of the spectrum

Tied face forward here rooted like this tree,
Expectant of an image held more to some degree,
Though most agree I just see my life at a stand still
Providing ambitious thoughts and giving prosperous to the navie
Cold wither in the dark places overlooked for the fear and lack of
Judge by an monarchy of Donald Trumps criticized and commemorated
A blame for what they give to us as a dependable waste
So those who deceieve for more  in a impeccable situations are a disgrace
Improvisation of our race im sure to win
Keeping cool in this shady place patiently waiting intuned with faith
Asks for no More than what's owed to me
Receiving knowledge and experience accepting doverity
Safe shelter and to offer life changing services promoting stability, dignity and self-reliance.

.we are all welcome within these confines, as long as we make this one confining promise... we all promise to... leave.

i once lived for sentiments
to be pure,
then...
"all of a sudden",
all the "sentiments"
became...
        as crude as i was
necessitated to become;
               the same old...
cruelty of realisation
and that lost
compromise of
managing affairs;
may god riddle you
further, beyond my own
lasp of keep,
in serving,
                    judgement,
that might be worth
your intuned sentence
of affairs;
             scuttling heart
for all that's worth
a scattered mind.

As if a witch  appeared in front of me in a puff of smoke, I was transfixed — Me standing there  mouth open, unable to look away, as if held by some magic power. Not use to this I strategize a exit. Lies, pessimistic conlicts, mused with disturbed behavior. Łike being infected there are side effects a breathe of fresh air is relief to asthma, a cup of tea is for nausea. You are my medicine when your close to me- my better half, monogamist, consort. In undisguised astonishment; a day is better, with a dose of you intuned with more focus on the now. Don't want to move stuck on you.

For I now can't swim on a waves that are heavy some days and soft on others..
For this intense wave I stayed with kept me wondering what tomorrow would bring  
Somehow always hoping it'd be a different wave
One that will keep me elevated and not frustrated
Though as the days and months would pass the more I was invested with an endless quest
As cold as the ocean breeze was I stayed put because it was a familiar place
My heart was determined and would not allow me to give up in search for what I wanted
I soon began to think I was the problem for not receiving consistency
I then changed my techniques
And was still not remotely enough
Yet when these uplifting waves returned they would awaken a side of me that had sworn to be done and tired of waiting
All that left my mind knowing I'd be content with the time being
Even after knowing exactly how it would end
I then soon began to ask myself is this something I should have to go through? Knowing the exact type of energy that I would need to keep me out off jeopardy.
Letting go of the hope and thoughts that swam through my mind and body soon began to feel heavenly
No more sleepless nights that consisted of trying to find new ways to bring back those gracious waves towards me
Instead that energy went towards accepting the fact that those waves were just simply not for me..
Regardless of the outcome being elevated by this everlasting wave will be one that will be instilled in me for as long as I continue to be intuned with myself..
for this wave I found a purpose
Sometimes you can't swim on the same wave forever
It's always best to swim away to find better tides
To find something so deep that even the ocean would be jealous.

try me if you please as you are out spreading the disease
plagued by thoughts of granduer with affectionate melancholy
sparkling array of blissful care through the air
my very soul permeates a reason for being amidst the changing of the seasons
with daffodils and common ivy hue
come with me as we frolic in a land of make believe
away from the bustling crowd can make you think out loud
there is a land with kings and queens with twisted heated evil schemes
nestled near the dungeon there lies a little baby dragon caught in his humble abode
a nearby court jester merry and wise enticing to the villagers in the square
juggling and spinning around like the present day clown
a fare maiden timid with red dress alone in her castle looking into the mirror
there is a beautiful butterfly that leaps through the cobblestone onto the greenn grass with moss
the lovely maiden begins to sip on a cup of tea with a bisquit crumbs are left behind
faces, spaces & traces
filter through the duration of time in a menagerie of sorts in the quaint kings court
there in the center is the jewel of the Nile running rampant &  wild
personifications of colors mark the cobblestones leading to a garden with beautiful flowers
it's Spring time and the court is filled with wine & spice galore
a black cat dazzles in the sunlight next to the baby dragon alone
the court jester begins his sonnet with not a dry eye in the parlor
"Love is the essence of my inner existence shun its resistance"...
outside at night the moon was still and there fell a quaint bellowing noise coming from the baby dragon as if a gasp.
nestled below there was small dwarfs scratching there heads trying to go to bed

perched on the maiden's window was a beautiful white dove with a reed in its beek
in solace the warm brevity permeates throughout the duration of this quaint land
let the reader understand the fullest extent of the kingdom in your thoughts
into letting it dazzle the very fabrication of your mind then in time
dreams would ensue of decorative doorways with covered wagons & parchment boards exposed
inside you will see the visualization of a walkway a given chance to get away
behind pillars then trophies of long ago in this vast domain
beautiful illustration of the unseen land let it bask in the vast expanse of your mind
a place to find love for nature and the beauty it helps to represent
the maiden has a significant purpose to bridge the gap between heaven & hell
with a great story in which to tell from the heart of her soul
her mind tingles her body aches with the pleasure she was afforded
when she is done she will feel the ****** of her restored heart with that of sullen brevity
she cares for the baby dragon with equated logic and fervor and will forever honor her
the green moss surrounds the land and even infects the nostrils of the palace guard
for this is a land we used to have been given to us out of vested reason of being
the intuned harmony to the hidden beasts menagerie cause all of life is but a mystery you see

I gave a man everything that I had to give
Money that I barely had
Time I couldn't waste
Decisions I couldn't make
When he lost his peace, I found it and I dragged it all the way back to him
I showed him a different view of the world without even leaving the city
He told me that I was so kind, so sensitive.. he loved it, but noticed that anyone could hurt me.
After a few months and a falling out, I had thought it was best that we don't talk anymore
He said that I was too possessive, too crazy because I didn't want him disrespecting our relationship
He said I was too sensitive and took little things too far
And that's when I began to understand that people will begin to hate those same qualities they used to love about you
It leaves you so unsure of yourself, your personality
I question the values of words
Those soft "I love you's" or "I'm here for you"
It doesn't mean anything to me because people change.
Who knew unconditional love could be so.. conditional?
People don't admit to hurting you and instead.. they go aloft and frame you as if it was all your fault
Convincing yourself you were so toxic in order to alleviate their own guilt
People turn your better qualities against you.. such as kindness and transparency.
Your passion will be overwhelming
Your concern will be possessiveness
Your kindness will be naivity
Your love will be too much.
I've learned that the more intuned you are to their emotions, the better the love will be
We are made to feel, not lock away our emotions
It is how we communicate, how we view the world.. and people
It's how we remind ourselves that we're alive
So nobody is "too sensitive"
In a world where everybody is cold in the heart and
So amazed by living with no emotions
We are viewed as "moody" "possessive" "sensitive"
We need vulnerability, we need people who embrace their own feelings and recognize the weight of them
I resent the idea that I need to change, to harden my feelings just because I might be too complicated for a person to deal with
We like to think that we can just turn off our emotions when we're hurt.. in pain..
We go on and we always lose, because we're not machines.
So I will not change, I'll stay as being too sensitive
Because others can't find it in themselves to appreciate me, doesn't mean that I've lost my worth
I know you're here with me.

a double edged sword
on one hand: the rose, an embodiment
of the world's inherent beauty
on the other: the thorns, wrapped around my hearts; my sensitivity

oh what bliss it is,
to be intuned with your emotions,
to feel the world as it is,
but when it seems like you're not taken seriously,
it becomes suicide,
wrapping around my heart with the sense of betrayal
I thought I have forgotten.

either way,
it's an intense temporary death,
as I cry myself to sleep tonight,
without the strength to live for today.