"horizen" poems
If I'd known the Journey
Would have been this long.
I never would have started
For I'm not that strong
You put mountains before me
Around every single turn,
I've crawled till I was weary
And every muscle burned
I walked with feet bloodied
On a path never true,
Never knowing which the way
To bring me back to you
I walked in rain so blinding
The sun never shone
Darkness my companion
Never felt so alone
Finally dawned the day
The horizen in sight,
After years of struggle
I could lay down the fight
The road was never meant to be
A way back to your heart,
I was meant to be alone
Right from the very start
Now I lay down this life
Strength finally found.
Enough to dig this grave for me
In Gods' forsaken ground
Jan 30, 2015
Jan 30, 2015 at 7:24 AM UTC
My early sea town home came
With strides of colossal change floating between
The marrow of my bones; gnawing inside.
Chance always showed me where to go
Landing near deep, blue-green waves
That washed the soft slumber from my eyes.
Perlious seas to cover the silence of a murmurous beauty
Pouring into the Colombia Gorge that flows a horizen-line
Against the rim of peaceful strangeness in the city.
Darkening dusk hovered in the wide quietness
Of Forest Park with lanterns lit along the west coast
while I counted the spaces of plum-colored stars.
There I went running on the hills through the virescent woods
Of tall evergreen trees dripping wanton rain into the hollows of a wet earth.
Dressed in ghost-white like a wayward drifter.
Night, emitted a warmth of drunken red wine
With tireless voices laugh shaken to beats of ethereal music.
Departure struck me with sudden change to a new home.
Ripped away and fixed in the belief of happenstance.
Always to remember the feeling of being young
On this cold night in Oregon.
Jan 9, 2013
Jan 9, 2013 at 10:11 PM UTC
Rain forest warm,
predicting a storm,
hippos, giraffes and more
Parumping the water hole.
didn’t take us long, to slap a crown
on a fools heart.
Everything the light touches
made the lions cold.
had to many sad boys in your bed.
(To tune of: Nants ingonyama bagithi baba from: Lion king intro)
Moat of toys,
prey on canniballs,
venison visceral
Drop your bridge Shallow moat.
Midus touch,
rabbit didn't quite touch
lucky enough, your trust, bust
The weatherman cuts.
Can't fight a storm with a pack
Of lions, and djarum butts
Cool Cats don't like the water
won't splash,
might soil their tight pants
Sea captain called
old Horizen won't dance
"listen to your old man".
not worth a penny of your sand.
but if we weren't so green-headed,
A compas might save our hand
for marriage
we don't want plans
They don't understand
want to roll around with simba
Giggling in the butterflies
when they're gone, find another man.
Sep 26, 2016
Sep 26, 2016 at 6:36 AM UTC
Never once could one begin
To comprehend
The mass of emotion and depth
That we are to swim
Yet we are trapped with no escape
Left to the fate of falling
Into a void in the timeline
Of an ever spinning whirlpool
The surface no longer in sight
Leaves the waves crashing over head
As our bodies struggle to cope with the fight
That is tearing us apart
We pray from the bottom of our hearts
That we can make it, one day
We will open our eyes and see the shore on the horizen
But that day seems far from our gaze
And as we are stunned and afraid
We fall further into the Ocean
Jun 8, 2015
Jun 8, 2015 at 1:12 PM UTC
Sunset at my horizen and far to much regret apon me.
The story forever the same a jilted lover a midnight kiss.
Often ive tasted the wine to avoid the saltwater tears and a distant shores redemption.
Lights from the carnival tatterd dreams and the Jersey shore.
Far gone my thoughts hollow is the bottle burried in sand.
Why do we embrace the pain to only understand the stage traggic by design.
In eye's often reflected I recall you but never understood myself.
As children we yern for what seems a ghost hunt in a moments time.
Im still walking but no longer can I sense my return.
Footsteps burried in saltwater washed in a long vanished time.
It only takes a song to go back yet a foolish pride and a storm couldnt make him
turn to her.
Ive known many faces yet never understood one.
Take me to sunsets demise and a night skies birth.
Toast a broken soul and ******** logic for it's all I have to give for now.
The lights from afar seem no more distant than I.
the sunsets my canvas the waves crash my song.
Whispers of what never was pillow talk and tommorows thought.
All intentions often merge with the same long walk.
I understood nothing more clear .
Then when she uttred the words goodbye.
Dec 5, 2012
Dec 5, 2012 at 3:53 PM UTC
The sunset kissed the horizen and the flask was finally empty.
My old friend to no suprize had said his last goodbye.
Theres a place in a man's mind that doesnt allow understanding.
Darkness was soon to replace the laughter.
As a void was forever left.
Walking from the site I had no dellusions this was to
be continued no play of words could twist fate.
Outlaws were never ment to see happy endings.
He knew the game and laughed at it's outcome.
To be forgotten wasnt a ploy but only time held the cards
and its face wasnt giving any clues.
The redness in the clouds like a perfect backdrop
cast a shadow apon the headstone the leather bound flask
with the intials engraved into its front.
Was but a side note to a epitaph.
Time in thought's is wasted apon a life
ment to be otherwise empty.
It's time for me to leave.
And so a souls winter does begin.
Oct 2, 2010
Oct 2, 2010 at 12:02 PM UTC
The truth pulled over my eyes
Spewing from your mouth
She told me nothing but lies
And I did nothing but believe them
I lay on my back
Her head on my chest
Looking up at the ceiling
I thought my heart ache was your doing
But I never saw reality
All I saw were her lying truths
Lying in my bed
While she kisses my forehead
I lay motionless and dead
My love starving with no water, no bread
I need to fill this empty hole
The hole that you stole
The part of me you took away
When you turned your back the dredful day
You walked to him and I heard you say
I love you to him and not to me
And just like me
He is blind, he does not see
The same thing I failed to realize
Until it was too late
Just like me he took your bait
Walking straight into heart break
He doesn't heed my warning
Because his heart you're warming
Like a snow covered horizen
Being touched by soft rays of morning
Lying in my bed
While she kisses my forehead
And says she loves me
I heisitate to answer, I'm thinking
Half of you and half of nothing
And my blank stare tells her everything
Jun 13, 2010
Jun 13, 2010 at 8:09 PM UTC
Sometimes when i say goodbye.
I wonder how I hold it togather befor
the phone touches the reciever.
Does she know the pain I mask.
Memories make us drunk with emotion.
Time makes us bitter from the cold.
And in the darkness she brings light.
Under the ice she creates warmth.
She kisses the past away.
My shelter in which to run
If I choose to lead so does she follow.
Two halfs of one heart.
Weve walked across broken glass to lay
in a feather bed.
The nights passionet flow
her head apon my chest.
And how could I find one so perfect for me.
Distance takes the heart and traces the tear.
Such comfort brought from the understanding.
That pain would be erased if she were here.
Jules i see that next day as a promise
set in stone.
That from that first hello
we found in one another a reason to never be alone.
The highway rolls into the horizen
eternal is the love.
As a sun sets apon the ocean we stand
my arms wrapped around you waves crash into the shore.
In love I give everything.
For i could spend a lifetime here with you.
And still thirst for more.
With words we struggle to say.
What flows from the pen.
Also bleeds form the soul and that
shall never go away.
Feb 3, 2010
Feb 3, 2010 at 6:59 AM UTC
Television makes it sound like a fun, 30-60 minute adventure into the lives of our favorite comedy or drama characters. But not for me. For me, an episode swells up through my soul and eats me from the inside out. The story doesn't get a comic relief, or a satisfying arc.
All it gets is cyclical, depressed me.
Where creativity and dreams once thrived, there lives a barren waste of hopelessness. Its like my body is in constant phasing shifts between dimensions. One place, I'm normal. I'm a writer in a dry spot trying to figure out where to go from here. Another, the world and my mind are boundless and I could be on the precipice of becoming exactly who I want to be, whoever she may be. And the last, everything's been gutted and that shadow of a woman dreaming has been reaped of her happiness; there's nowhere good on the horizen, only desolation.
If my moods were a television series, they'd only leave fans dissatisfied and sad. They get to watch a hopeful stargirl dream of the universe only for her body to crush her mind from the inside. Its like watching her sharply get possessed, like watching a hopeful underdog tale with the ghost looming quietly in every shot. Before anyone would know it, this star story turned into a horror-fest.
Like this, I'm so tired. I'm not someone wanting to make the world better. I'm not a writer with big, celestial dreams. I'm not a woman on the cusp of adulthood and the truths of her future.
I'm a wanderer, lost in the nuclear fallout of her own head. And its exhausting.
That's not an episode anyone really ever wants to see.
Oct 22, 2018
Oct 22, 2018 at 1:58 PM UTC
From beneath the Horizen's wing, the crown of Dawn rises in spendor.
Revealing in the light all that laid in the slumber of Dusk's watch;
Upon the hill do the birds sing, in the wake of the of heights does the ode arise.
The elohim spread their wings, and dance in flight. As Adam is ready to plow the land.
Creation amidst the melody does stir, for a land of sorrow this plain is not.
As Dawn's crown rises, it's splendor does shine.
It shines a relent for the prince Dusk, permissing his watch to end.
A new ode has been sung, the new day is ordained afresh.
A melodious echo resounds anew for the pioneers on frontier's edge.
Apr 2, 2019
Apr 2, 2019 at 9:40 PM UTC
The gravel of the driveway shifts under my shoes
While I lift my eyes to the horizen, like the evening before.
The sunset never waits for me, but I pretend it will.
I've always been a dreamer, but that's not news.
Not of any consequence. A pipe dream.
The night will come when it will come.
I guess I'll get used to that someday,
but for now the sun is sinking over the potomac.
It scares me how the shade can make me numb.
Hold on to the light. Catch the very last beam.
With the passing of day, night steals in.
Suddenly, every ghost on every corner is you.
Whenever a shadow falls across the street it's you.
I try to call out, but don't know where to begin.
I can smell you in the rain. A pipe dream.
But there is nothing on the street for me to find.
No eyes, no hair, no smile or warm touch.
In fact, there's nothing much to be seen at all.
I breathe in deep; the victory of a calm mind.
The sun sets over the potomac. Catch the very last beam.
Aug 19, 2011
Aug 19, 2011 at 12:09 PM UTC
Love, trust the heart completely. So like hippies we drove a van into the sunset, sweet grass, aviator haze, straw hat chins to the sky, singing from our hearts, barefoot desert land, oncoming moon on the western horizen, crisp of an orange glow left on the desert mountains in the east, moon and stars, dream catcher dangling, quietly breathing, sleep calling me like a child, sorrow and love sinking in, warm cool air, sighs of release, goodbye. Life, simplified, always pursue the heart, surrender and release, deal with you{re stuff, cry, release, yoga, it becomes easier the more pain we release, tension is built up pain. Western medicine isn{t very neccasary, trust, visit death, lose attachment, the soul will never die. Lose fear, fear is opression, surrender to the luminous love light of the one. freedom.
May 9, 2014
May 9, 2014 at 5:14 PM UTC
What do i dream of life, and where it go so fast? oh, how Can always go back to those days in the port, on the grassy hill in front of the Bean. A gathering of sorts, an almost mecca for the everyday people and artist alike to enjoy thier coffee's or expand their mind's. Seldom know how i remember those warm golden sunsets on the beaches, where we'd look off on the horizen and wonder what tomorrow would bring. We'd lay on our warm towel's over sand after swiming in the cold waters of the atlantic that i miss so much. What are these days and nights i see before me, as i sway back and forth like a branch in these winter winds? I know who you are now with that draw, that look. Gasp as you see me before you, like a ghost in your mirror. Do you think about the molocules in your body, how the millions of them flow thru you now like my voice thru your ear? Hear me now in his room, with the blank unknown faces of yester year and today, sipping on their what have you's, dreaming of a better tomorrow. The only dream i dream today? I won't Remember in the morning...
.
Oct 25, 2010
Oct 25, 2010 at 10:36 PM UTC
She was a bit like the moon
Shining with borrowed happiness
and glowing with light that wasn't her own
But
the moment she felt unloved
she sank beneath the horizen
dark once more
Sep 13, 2017
Sep 13, 2017 at 5:14 PM UTC
Clop, Shuff-clop
Worn boots worn well
Their journey, mine
This path travelled
Paved against soles
Low brimmed hat
Wraps the mind
The sun beats on it
A hammer wears it thin
Sharp eyes, peer forth
Horizen's low, scant miles
Always just too far, just too close
One step in front of the other
Home is a sort of walk
All the ceilings my stars
Scrapped leathers worn
A mess from tumbles and scars
Hair once short, now unkempt
Held back, with a short throng
Not for for naught, simple necessity
In my mind's eye, the road isn't there
The clothing isn't worn, not thin
No thought for the sun or night
Even the road, so hard,
Nary a moments thought
Thoughts stay focused
Her lips so soft, unlike the journey
Eyes so deep, refreshing pools
The coolest water; the driest day
Dramatic curves warm, coldest winter
A dry hot wind, chafe his leathered face
Any observer, wouldn't notice
Either twitch, a momentary rise
Or flinch, surprise recognized
In fact, he didn't notice
There was nothing, then or now
To distract from the path
Either paved road, or dirt path
No matter the twists or curve
Nothing to lose his way
There is one end, for him
Maybe two, but that's no concern
Just her, and by her side
Always looking, just to find
Another stranger, to share the ride
Aug 24, 2014
Aug 24, 2014 at 5:11 PM UTC
oppressive season
causes a struggle to breathe
unseen pressures mount without count
as prophetic undertones threaten mankind –
I try to unwind with Kind I grew myself
but the smokey flavor offers no solace
placing my weary head into my earth-stained hands
and any attempt at plan formulation is met
with only the recognition that the tears
falling from my cheek to the dusty ground
are not only soundless, but barely alter the brown hue –
Not often am I left uncertain of what to do
Normally I tighten boot straps and **** in the gut
pick myself up and continue the fight…
today tiredness overtakes me, breaking my
spirit and filling me with fear
unable to steer clear the queer feeling
takes my complete focus
So long since I gave my laurals some work
too much time has passed for me to go all
conscientious objector
the debt collector knocks incessantly
the phone has not been quiet for days
grinding gears and twisting metal
fill my ears……..
and the sirens…….
the sirens………
the sirens………
Sep 2, 2015
Sep 2, 2015 at 11:28 AM UTC
There are times to be scared
In them, rational thoughts drift from your head
The times when news comes that appears unfair
And all the crazy, wild fills you instead.
I know it, you know it. I hate it.
Take a breath.
In an ocean of waves, some are meant to swim
With a storm on the horizen, the outlook is grim.
Take a breath and hold it. For a second and release.
You can make it, I can make it.
This is not how I die,
It's much more surprising for the life I've led.
You won't take me alive, sir.
To be clear, you won't take me at all
Look into my eyes, Storm.
See the walls I've made fall.
Don't come any closer, truly, I mean no harm.
But come at me, I'll attack thee.
Until my sanity is long lost,
Every bone I've been blessed, will shatter in just cost.
Take a breath. Take a second.
Think hard about your moves, you hold such might
But I hold a will with everything to lose.
There are times to be scared
When my hands shake without end
Truthfully, I do my best to hide it
Try as I might to hold it in.
I take a breath.
With water just below my mouth
I've been submerged deep in water
And turned that downpour to a drought.
I don't want to, you can make me.
Because, although, I'm scared of the sea
Make no mistake, I will make the sea fear me.
Aug 3, 2017
Aug 3, 2017 at 4:01 AM UTC