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Natalia mushara Jul 2015
I kame back home
To feed the kitten and butta bean
Butta **** his nikname
He's ma lil labrador
Big fat pickle nose
And his lil butta bean head
Makes me luvs him so much
MCWA Nov 2010
Giovanni the Pizza Guy (Pronounce "a" as "uh")



Giovanni,you make a de savory tomato

and de thicka white creamy alfredo

you are a de pizza guy, amor'e

Si', I make a de homemade paste

she's a richer for you taste

and that's a part of my story.

I make a de pizza pie

I make a it to please

you wanna de pepperoni

or you wanna de plain cheese ?

I am a you waiter I take a you order

when you food-she a comes

she make a you mouth water

I make a de perfect pizza

in me you should a trust

you wanna de thicka or de thinna crispy crust?

I can make a spagetti or make a zucchini

butta for you , I make a linguine

I can make a de sauce red

I can make a it white

after you taste-you wanna more bite

I make a de spagetti -she's a made a with love

I cook a real slow you order ahead ;

or you take a to go.

I putta de stuff on de top

I give a you wine or a some pop

Uno momento, will you please

I must a cut a de cheese

I am a you pizza guy to make a you pizza pie

Why must a you stay a at home

when a you can a dine a in a Rome ?

I save a you a table

I tell a you a fable

I fill a you pants

I make a you dance

I make a de sauce thick

I make a de sauce thin

I make a you laugh

I make a you grin !

Si', Please a come a back ; see a Giovanni again!

CHOW FOR NOW, BELLISIMA !
Timmy Shanti Dec 2016
Scrivimi sempre, in ogni stagione:
Nel freddo d’inverno, nel caldo d’estate...
Ti prego di farmi saper le ragioni
Di vivere qui – la pazzia nonostante.

Se scrivi, mi alzo oltre il dolore,
Se sogni, mi chiedo se è la pietà
Che mi fa pensare a te nel rumore
Che mi butta via dal' nostra realtà.

Scrivimi sempre, in ogni stagione:
Nel bianco d’inverno, nel verde d’estate...
Facendomi creder i suoni ascoltati,
E fantasticare coll’ale baciate.
La vita è bella!
Ryan Gabrish Apr 2013
Less ‘ave a spot of fun, shall we?
Sumfin fun to do in ma spare time fo no particula reason,
An’ I like ta share it wif you.

Drop the T’s and pronounce yeh U’s like ew’s
Enunciation is key on heavy consonant words.
Forget practicality an be silly wif it.
Pretending fo a moment,
That there is a glob of peana butta,
On the ref of  yeh mouf.

****** ell and bullocks only take it so far,
Yew must remain natural wif towne
But, simply mumble mimzy’s
Followed by ratulsnakes ‘n’ wota fawllls.

Tha best practice comes wif accenting ull day.
An than ull tha kids will think its ace!
Dowent get aggro, jus ease into it.
An fa ***** sake its Herb not erb.
Michael Erdman Sep 2011
WHEN I WAS JUST A LITTLE BOY
I USED TO ASK MY “MUDDA”
DON’T GIVE ME PEAS OR BROCOLLI
JUST BRING ME PEANUT BUTTA

I’D DIP MY FINGER IN THE JAR
AND SCOOP IT IN MY MOUTH
THEN WAIT FOR ABOUT AN HOUR OR SO,
FOR IT TO SLIDE DOWN SOUTH

I USEO TO EAT THE KIND CALLED “SMOOTH”
BUT QUICKLY SWITCHED TO "CHUNKY"
I LIKED THE WAY IT TASTED
SORTA GRITTY, KINDA FUNKY

SKIPPY, JIFF AND PETER PAN
WHERE BRANDS I LIKED THE BEST
I’D OFTEN LINE UP ALL THREE JARS
AND HAVE A TASTE TEST-FEST

BUT CHOOSING BRANDS WAS EASY
FOR MY MOM WHO WAS SO WISE
SHE’D EYE EACH ONE SO CAREFULLY
THEN BUY THE LOWEST “PRICE”

YEA, WITH SOME JAM.. ON WONDERBREAD
OH WHAT A DELICIOUS TREAT!
I REMEMBER ALL THE GOOEY GOODNESS
HOW MUCH FUN IT WAS TO EAT

BUT NOW I’VE GIVEN UP THAT SNACK
MY CHILDHOOD TASTES I’VE TRADED
I’M OLDER AND MY PALATE
HAS BECOME SOPHISTICATED

I NOW EAT FOOD THAT’S LOW IN SALT
AND SATURATED FAT
BUT WHEN I WANT TO CHEAT A BIT?...

“HEY SKIPPY, WHERE YOU AT”!!!!
written back in 1990 as a funny little diddy about food
Cedric McClester Mar 2017
By: Cedric McClester

I have to say why me
While watching the news on tv
And it happens more frequently
Looking at the spokespeople I see
There’s the advisor Kellyanne
Of whom I used to be a big fan
Then there’s that Sean Spicer man
And Steve Miller whom they need to ban

It makes me want to revolt
When I hear them start to emote
Cos they lie about the vote
And give numbers that just won’t float
Butta-boom butta-bing
They lie about everything
And the president is the wellspring
That causes those canaries to sing

It’s fake news if he disagrees
With the reporting that he sees
Which makes him very displeased
And he hates those who eat the cheese
So he’s trying to plug all the leaks
Of which he frequently speaks
And he stays on the topic for weeks
While they continue to wet their beaks

So you understand why I’m tired
And remain so uninspired
When I see the people he’s hired
None are to be admired
Cos they all speak with forked tongues
As they try to climb all the rungs
By using their wits and their lungs
And we wait for what next comes














Cedric McClester, Copyright © 2017.  All rights reserved.
just moments ago, i went online and tapped Google
   if some miraculous spell
   could be drawn out of thin air
cause (this house husband

   feels a bit embarrassed to divulge),
   but at present,
   the will to live aye cannot bear
cuz  after an ample lather of soap and shampoo,

ah pronounced heady effect became immediately clear
where times gone by
   (even as late as early January
   tooth how sand and eighteen),

   the strands clumped, glommed, and matted together
   as sieve ma noggin got sat upon by a deer
no matter after shaking head banging fashion
   (imagine rock stars of yore

   whipping their wild locks) from ear to e'er
butta noah such dizzy inducing antics
   resulted in absolutely no fluffiness,
   hence my worse fear

(irrational?) yes, an obsession i.e.
   thy hirsute outgrowth fixation dated back
   tummy boyhood when cranky gear
and defective cogs somehow impacted

   preoccupation concerning
   every singular follicle fostering hair
strand, but during prepubescence,
   this now grown man took a fancy
   to this, that, or the other lad,

   who sported a style envied yours truly,
   hie wished said thatch tubby upon mine
   ma lil oblate spheroid,
   and pleaded (weathered and in vane)

   with fate to make magically ap pear
this, tis minuscule wiggle room
   to muster support from rear
guard, hook offer me wiggle room

   asthma body electric goes on a manic tear
precious seconds ticking closer
   to the final count down where
this mwm might remain bed ridden
   for an entire year.
GAINFUL EMPLOYMENT QUEST

Pixar could nada pay enough
   for this trainer of apple chomping antz
so I wonder if any chance
   hello Morris the tender vittles

commercial kitty cat whisker of employment
thru contrived virtual toy story
   qua ratatouille poetic brew
could materialize into a likely chance

such outcome would generate me
   to shrek out with excitement and dance
just in case a glimmer of some prospect exists
   for this self anointed bard,

   who dislikes formality
   of Schwenksville, Pennsylvania,
   now presents technical skills,
   I wooly cotton to enhance

this chap offers poetic expression
   common in differ france
     so take a glance
to help this intuitive **** sapiens
   sharp pen mental acuity like lance

which byte size bit torrent humor
   might cause ye to soil pants
after misinterpreting mishmash
   as raven shrieking twittering rants

even part time income would buoy positive stance
subtle intent to place me as worth hiring,
   with mop pa trick sway zee
   au currant electronic charge hypnotic trance
in consideration to ad-vance.

I betcha never read a pseudo cover letter reply
   like this iambic pentameter electronic wire
from a boyish looking blood muggle father up in years
   (whose nonpareil courage

   to face Voldemort never does tire)
deux darling northern belles,
   would consider him a worthy hire
less to rake in gobs of money,

   but to satiate unquenchable hunger and thirst
   for further bits of computer
   know how to acquire
in tandem aim to present the write stuff.

This faux pas whey to ripple eye conveys an itty bitty
     raw bit size actual work experience
(from this chap, who lives (Kenye bull heave
   ~ 40 miles north
   west of the Philadelphia city) via dashing car
nonetheless, i hanker (NOT to be confused with HACKER

though offset by merely one different third letter)
   prompts the following ditty
per computer trouble (making)
   and shooting abilities

   some may ascribe as nitty gritty
on par with the secret life of Walter Mitty
whom destiny protected and took pity
meant to be silly, yet also attempt to be witty.

No matter how many miles by car
(your company might be
   within dead man walking distance)
   this opportunity would not be considered to far
hoops responding in rhyme
   being considered nada mar

gin hilly atypical to use ecumenical interest
   and technologically spar
using graphical user interface programs
   to get unstuck from virtual feathery tar.

Iambic pentameter might not constitute
   traditional genre for a debtor
no reason why my non-establishmentarianism
     cannot serve as me own mode to communicate pursuit
     as computer repair technician go getter,
which honest to goodness confession
   hopefully affects responsiveness a bit better.

This pure breed mud half blood muggle prince
bona fide seeker for challenging income
   does reckon poetic way
not necessarily follows formalities
   to reply most would readily say

why adhere to conformity,
   whereby paradigm frowns on creative hoo ray
which atypical modus operandi
   viz positive reply and job i pray
even if interest turns out to be nay
mien hometown nada abbott may
cost 'hello far west where Philadelphia lay.

The resume (quite slim as jail grub gruel –
an extended hiatus taken
   for medical reasons) shows dearth,
yet versed inducing byte size mirth
of requisite technical expertise,
   i do possess attributes well worth.

If you might allow me to boast
and blithely use rhyme without reason to coast
given cents and sense ability opportunity to eradicate
Re: exorcise any binary elusive ghost
and offer bytes of helpful information from pc host
with brio and confidence, i respond to your post.

Without further ado, i will slightly brag
to tell of ability to conduct understand dos
manage common system utilities (non passe)
   such as scan disk and defrag

installed, resolved dsl issues, performed
scan-disk and troubleshooting glitches
   such as removal of dos files, installation
and/or removal of hardware

   likewise uninstalling software,
   running registry sweeps
   in an attempt to remove bugs and errors
   mice, or roaches, that cause machine
   to cough and gag

invariably impede processes
   as downloading, sending, uploading, et cetera to lag
and if chance smiles on further consideration
like a happy pup his tail will wag.

Oh...and by the way i would accept a starting
negotiable/competitive salary as starting wage
to support this self proclaimed sage
whose role can double up
   as court jester, joker, or page

hopeful this poetic synopsis
   offers favorable gauge
in tandem enriching fount of know
   ledge valuable at any advancing age.

Y'all might think this reply balderdash and rot
which may matter Bo diddly squat
no matter i herald from royalty
   with salient strengths being prestigious Scott
butta masta Harris

Does not smoke ***** nor drink from a chamber ***
a student of the establishment he is not
yet ad foxy, hocks moxie by proxy, this poet doth got
might elicit salient characteristics similar to humanoid bot
and, oh by the way, I lived
   in montgomery county, penna for some years quite a lot.
you
n i perceive reality in our own view
too
how the world a skew

and each rue
while mind each "p" n "q"
of societal mores mebbe at a pew
or in a car brand new

that purrs like a "meow"
or even on the loo
'bout a lover ye knew
thinking of gentile or jew

now tis that does hew
a friendship that mite grew
cuz quality gals so far n few
like finding a miniature red
   white striped emu
like eeyore - feel in ivy blue.
---------------------------------------

sorry for all dis bather
   me lass of an heart felt ace
& hope no words o mine base
so lemme cut to the Chevy driven chase

to relish c ying ur face
yi yi yippee - thy grace
****** desires to gather
   at what e'er pace

cuz dis haint no race
for us to trace
an arc &
   compete with lovers
   that for e'er frieze on grecian vase.
---------------------------------------

which day
whether sunny or gray
as high r low clouds lay
like pair a moors

   or nags in may
would be okay
to...play
oye vay
and enjoy
   hot ravenous ja way?
---------------------------------------

this chap aint no a rod
   knee nor danger
concocting a fiction
   be yin born in a manger
neither does he don
   role of ranger
thou veritable stranger

THOUGH A VERITABLE UNKNOWN GAL 2 ME
NONETHELESS, I MUST BE GOING STIR CRAZY FOR YOU! ™

---------------------------------------

hi yam hankering Asian urge gent wuss
celibate lee  married, a zealous adult tour us
desires to tuss
sill with a female,
   no not necessarily
   her coiled n kinked

   hair to muss
nor special outfit to fuss
i try not to ******* cuss
nor cause no trouble
   if aboard the digital bus.
---------------------------------------
PLEASE be patient with him. In due time, his ability to calm down and control the erectile fusillade will chime with YOUR ******.

HE well deserves to end this celibate state and get requisite COMEUPPANCE!
---------------------------------------
Hello Sin Come on In!

I thoroughly enjoy plying (like a baker kneading dough) these slender and smallish fingers at the juncture of neck and shoulders. As many cumulative kinks would be ironed out. Muscles and tendons on either side of the spine (from stem to stern) privy to tender loving care. Special emphasis would be given to any particularly sore area. Perhaps an especially noticeable ache exists along the upper or lower back? Just the appropriate amount of (gentle) pressure - from the heal of one hand or the other - called into action.

Might forearms or biceps be in sore need of massage? Gluteus Maximus saddle sore? How about thighs? Any other parts of your anatomy require skin nourishment? This willingness to manipulate knotty points of tension offered for passionate physical *******. Game? No need to think this hum bull guy wood MONOPOLIZE you NOR doth ye need to feel SORRY if nada one iota of interest exists!
---------------------------------------
unsure...
  
what this free thinker
   who lives ~10 miles north east
   of valley forge, penna ought to write
also not knowing
   if rambling comes a
   cross as trite

maybe filled with angry under
   panting tones awash
   with spittle and spite
veering considerably
   left of political right

which liberal democratic
   leanings correct quite
   an attempt to come across
   as mature and polite

hoping to induce interest
   to get together
   some day or night
discussing topics
   profound or light

or...letting sexually intimate
   fantasies (of mine)
   take supersonic flight
restoring darkened psyche
   with high octane
   self generated energy bright.

only one finger
used to hen peck
and types this
four tee billionth acre

doth, dis dude
real soon will take a break
eat sum petrified cake
like an ancient yodel,
ring ding or drake

interestingly enough
can cure any earache
with nary an edible flake
mebbe jump in a

poker face booked - mud flat lake
steal away imagining to make
out with you,
a moist meaty milky shake.

i yam ma nada trip pin
jist over dose sin
n wanna marry gin.

star-date = 9999 anno domino;
time = 1700: 39:_ pm

u r a be u tee
only in imaginary will i see
u re joy sing -
for me
as glee
from one male sassy thee
sets passions free.

like one pac man on a roll
   bell ringing canon,
   fast moving caboose
or mad as hell
   headless goose

this josh hing drake
   haint butta loose
goose
whereby moose

uh d utter creatures
   tink i lack mental juice
i.e. ja dat - right duh gray matter
   of dis knit wit,

   the "infamous" deduce
cob bulled with
   whirled wide web
   peppered with rotten cous cous
& find my rye ting
   an absolute nuisance
ready to call doktor Zeus.
(a projection, genuflection, and extrapolation - if/when thine eldest "star student" progeny becomes the bride of one lucky guy)

with ur svelteness quite outstanding and accompanying zeitgeist tub boot my knowledge iris see vd reprieve from arm hug get n escort rub bing bliss until thee betook by another down thee aisle of life a pub
lick venue, where eyes bet cha yar er re: zist ta bull n deaf fin knit nub

charming slightly older gal to em ma, a puerto Rican well *** boy well worth effort form to start a family o' year own, time and tide will tell
waves of nostalgia for childhood memories may be difficult to quell

effort to cultivate relationship with omnipotent emotional ease
with nuptial savings bond, a salutary hint of success - cuz he's
a near perfect match wedded til death do ye part, locked, keys

engineered principally by fate recognized worth turning to dust
where omnipotent invisible bars anchor with mettle no gust
nor clangorous discord erupts, and neither one of ye lust
after infatuation of anther hold ye with pinterest n trust.

time to curry familiarity with ye mid haw ter, i didst waste
so unwise for this papa to express envy, and how thee taste -
of euphoria, whether single r double spaced
years 'tween offspring will not conflict with biological run -  raced
as greatest marathon - yet ardent cross country track star placed
yar mental, physical and spiritual well being, where well laced
sneakers ratcheting pedometer set other challenges faced
against duel as tempus fugit will acquiesce to grim reaper
hence, i must be mindful n make haste
to gather thine few rose rubs while ye may witness time erased
all the while the shadow of father time 2b finds me chaste.

already taking quantum leaps edging 2b come college alum n aye
a severance dissolving parental protection doth evince good bye
yet tis a relief, that few tears evidence that this papa didst cry
thus, this generic guy
doth app ply
words 2 roll like die
an image in my
mind well nigh

to evoke n elicit intrigue and say "hi"
in his atypical mode - butta not 2 pry
nor intervene un-necessarily - only to share as i try
2 exchange lite banter 2.0 n case u wonder why
u most likely did not get such an electronic sigh
email if...ye wish to chit chat or converse 'bout pry
vet matter, thus nearing conclusion, dada doth notify
a hope that ye accept my
weaknesses and faltered during your girlhood - no reason 2 lie
about detached emotional fabric - faults no excuse foreign alibi.

now before i go to sleep
ur sunny roseate countenance
   will invoke slumber within me
   like an oracle - quick n deep.

meanwhile life passes in one direction end date toward
as additional minute men slink in their swiftly tail lord
non-harried style spruced n tricked up ford.
preface: prays of purse filled legal tender
this ****** NOT ******
   (hue coward know who eye mean)
   hie do attest

that poetry may not be best
to express whoosh to chest
*** a lee till bitta chump change
boot overpowering literary force 

   to pocket earning for a grange
(hmm...who knows maybe
   formerly owned by Jessica Lange 
thence might be within my financial range
even though this har chap 
   decades older than college student - iz that strange?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
GAINFUL EMPLOYMENT QUEST --- or
subtitled IN PRAYS OF LEGAL TENDER.

Let this dog gone prime mate ova simian sketch out 
   his general doggerel to free
unleashing a swiftly tale lord 
   of the flies - harried styled brush stroke of strengths
me retracted claws, which might find me 

   barking up the wrong tree arf find yarself
cat a tonic taking a nap - 
   in the land of doctor ah zee.

akin to a termite expending energy 
   thru wood to bore search sans income 
   an arduous slow book king chore thus,
   i spruce quest per 
   my non-conformist poetic je ne sais quois x cell lent 
   cover letter de jour 4u2 access and for me 

   to entertain as a minimum less or more
and then...whoosh
   into circular filing cabinet ye will store
this non-formal reap ply, 
   which email will take cyberspace tour.

Pixar could nada pay enough 
   for this trainer of apple chomping antz 
so i wonder if any chance 
   whisker of employment 
vis a vis thru this contrived virtual toy story 

   qua ratatouille poetic brew 
could materialize opening virtual community chest 
   into a likely monopoly winning chance 
such an idea generates me 

   to shrek out with excitement n contra dance 
just in case a glimmer of some prospect exists 
for this self anointed bard, who dislikes formality
presents a brief poo whet tick summation
   sans technical skills, he hopes to enhance 

p'raps earn enough moolah to see arc d'triumph, 
 Louvre, Paris France i offer
   the following poetic expression 
   for ye to take a glance 
and help this intuitive **** sapiens income
   to expand and en-hance, 

which byte size bit torrent humor 
   without use of strong arm, nor lance
   might cause ye to soil pants 
after misinterpreting mishmash 
   as some rave and rants 
  
part time con sit hard so positive stance 
   a subtle intent worth hiring, 
   2 sway au currant series electronic charge 
and ideally affect hypnotic trance.

betcha never red a poe sting like this faux 
   iambic pentameter electronic wire 
   from boyish looking blood muggle 
   father up in years (whose nonpareil courage 
   to face voldemort never does tire) 

and two grown girls 
   would consider him a worthy hire 
to rake in gobs of legal tender,
   satiating unquenchable hunger 
   hunger game of thrones,
   and thirst qua knowledge = powerful
for bits of computer know how to acquire.

this cover letter of sorts conveys
   teensy weensy, itty bitty 
byte size actual work experience 
   (this older mister rhyme stir 
   lives northwest of philadelphia city) 

kenye bull heave that,
   nonetheless, i hanker 
   (NOT  confused with HACKER)
   though disparate deeds offset
   by difference of third letter 
to employ computer and writing skills, 

   + rooted tid bits of moxie playing at nearby Roxy 
burrow, which prompts the following ditty 
express interest to apply mental tasks
   ala computer trouble shooting 
some may ascribe as nitty gritty 

on par with secret life of Walter Mitty 
whom destiny protected and took pity 
this merely meant to be silly 
   yet also attempted to be witty.

No matter how many miles by car 
(actual company might be within dead
   man walking distance) 
   opportunity not be considered to far 

using acumen huck cull interest 
   and technologically spar 
+ graphical user interface programs
   to get unstuck from virtual feathery tar.

Iambic pentameter might be faux pas
   not the traditional standard genre 
   for a cover letter 
i see no reason why 
   non-conformist modus operandi 
cannot serve as mode

   to communicate pursuit viz philologist technician 
   and paperback writer wannabe, 
   cuz i love each english language letter,
which honest to goodness confession 
   hopefully offers unique outlook re: 
   other respondents at least a bit better.

this pure breed mud half blood muggle prince 
born (whom most think me full o hogwash 
   to *** rid of hog wort) - yea 
truth seeker for employment reckons
   the following poetic way 

not necessarily follows formalities 
   to reply would readily say, 
yet why adhere to conformity, 
   which paradigm frowns on creativity 
atypical modus operandi to reply

   positive job offer i pray 
even if outcome per offering interest 
   turns out to be nay 
perhaps because where mien hometown 
   west of philadelphia lay
boot methinks tis cuz mine longish
   wavy hair follicles fifty shades of gray.

no employment vitae shows dearth 
hence decided to resort - thou add verse 
   to induce a byte size mirth 
of requisite (sought after) technical expertise,
   possessing attributes FitBit wool worth consideration --

   so just allow me to boast 
blithely riding iambic pentameter to coast 
given opportunity to eradicate
re: exorcise binary electronic bookworm 
   even Casper the friendly ghost 

n offer bytes of helpful information from pc host 
information technology position tacked on fence post 
with sought after salary goal fair n equitably per year 
would necessitate celebration 
   tete a tete vis a vis teetotaler toast.

So...without further ado, i slightly brag 
telling ability to conduct understand bit size crag
reckon obsolete intricacies such as dos 
    passé, and hardly requisite material,
   i learned to manage 
   common system utilities 
   such as scan disk and defrag 

installed and resolved dsl issues,
   performed scan-disk and troubleshooting glitches 
removal of dos files, installation 
   and/or removal of hardware 
uninstalling software, running registry sweeps 

attempting to remove bugs and errors
   causing machine to cough and gag, 
which invariably causes processes
   as downloading, sending, uploading, et cetera to lag
if chance smiles on consideration --
   a happy go lucky dog this tail will wag.

oh...by the way, i would accept a starting 
and/or negotiable salary as a starting wage 
in an effort to support this self proclaimed sage 
whose role can double up as a court jester, 
   Batman joker, or jimmy john page 

hopeful this poetic synopsis 
   offers favorable gauge 
in tandem enriching fount of knowledge
   More valuable at this advanced age.

y'all might think this reply balderdash and rot 
which may matter on par bo diddly squat 
no matter i herald from skid row royalty
   with salient strengths being prestigious Scott 
**** tuckus, butta Matthew Harris 

   does not smoke ***** 
   nor drink from a *** 
and a student he is not 
nor a gentleman quarterly kennedyesque fellow
   who would be called really hot 

yet moxie by proxy this poet of doth got 
and might elicit salient characteristics 
   similar to a humanoid heterosexual bot 
and, oh by the way, i lived in lower merion 
   for some years that = quite alot.

This from - a generic johnny 
   come lately jim crow chee 
can tackle the junkyard dawg, 
   while trump petting, swaggering, 
   rollicking with rod ham 
   pomp *** city but,

who **** house trained 
   and can use snout to play putt putt 
plus extricate moss elf from tread full rut.

this sub woofer snapper papa pooch, 
though scrawny and essentially 
   a generic mixed breed
   bowled with dennis the menace 
   plus jeff and mutt 

an older dog gone college alumni 
   of hard knocks
   relied on powder milk bone dog biscuits 
   to hone courage, and overcome shyness 
   (predominant among norwegian 
   bachelor farmers canine pets)

this diet of powdered raw bit, 
   weighed heavy in my gut 
thus, i conclude air rating whims 
   hoop ping this passes windy muster 
   and makes the cut
if nyat - dag nabbit rab but.
Well there’s Hooverville
   on the edge of the river
haint nuttin boot flimsy cardboard
   e’en with clothes will shiver
waiting for tension to be released
   like a arrow in a taut quiver

major organs ready to burst open
   cuz day r all a failin'
unless salvation does da liver
from a stingy farmer
   nada one of him a giver

Hence a goin to Cali for n’ya
in battered up truck n wailin wah wah
ta feed da chill n beasts o burr den –
   ‘cept un shaw

if me pa
will ever appear on Oprah
whar guest’s literary car –
   rears into grand prix hoopla

An win free dim lifts us lock a hawk,
   this kid rock will nah
dat he suffered faw a distant few cha
migrants we may be – butta we bah
dog on judas priest, Christ and allah

Rose of Sharon wool extend
   da family tree
dat ma will live to see
re:

charging the Joad jalopy
   in part from me
tink rin hands dat like ta mess
   with oil hand stains
one mo scar – craning neck 2 earn

An huh tha red badge of courage
   upon this Okie
hunched o’er with stiff back
   while wounded knee

continually bunged up with utter glee
at engine cough fin smoke
   to *** us free
whar we kin sally in da pacific fields yipeee.
i yam as peaceful as rolling rock
harmless toward even those who mocks
my appearance n follicular 50 plus shades of gray locks.

oye feel as important like first, second, third, fourth...banana
thus...please i yam gonna
try to forge a lifelong jimmy john james ah dah bond

   cuz an intuitive sense, u r like manna
thus ambition spurs me to wanna
do whatever in my pow wah.

aural, banal, carnal, feral, gonadal, hormonal...urges difficult to allay
to keep ***** drive at bay
on each and every single day
seriously thought to auction myself on eBay
this mwm living a life described as fey
though sunny skies, my libido reigns gray
would be thrilled to take a roll and romp within thee hay
and wonder if i could call you by the pet uni-****** name jai
in thee vernacular what most healthy guys endeavor to as a lay
which reply from yea hopefully the opposite of any sin a nim of nay
would that be okay
by the quay
today
or some night this feral primate could *** your way?

a pent up urge to ****** one or both wonderful womanly ****
introducing ye to mine little **** a doodle christened pete
found a quixotic whim to meet thru classified
   which offers a common way to meet
imagining the outcome of such of said delectable feat
but fearing the odds t'would be stacked way to high to generate beat.

yet if more than praise for citing me poetic talent doth well
more libidinal longings this humble not so long fellow could tell
and just maybe coax ye to bear thine chest for e'en just a spell
forsooth these to behold an apt comparison to a flesh born
   physiognomy portrayal of mountains tipped with *******
   and that balm in the cleavage of a wondrous dell.

this germane guy would be thrilled  
to give peaceful friendship or more
a chance desiring proper strokes o affection  
helping peppy perform his special dance
revealing moi fleshy stubby lance
thence allowing this slender guy
to remove his pantswhich scenario creates
a favorable pumping stanceaffecting you with a positive trance.

so...if drawn toward a boyish male  
of two score plus seventeen years of agewhose wardrobe oddly enough  
typically favor the color beige
with zebra like patriotic red, white and deep blue stripes  
evoking analogy of being housed like a foo fighting rat
in a cagethan respond to this introspective sagewhose will offer himself  
with negotiable legal - no fallacy - butta precious seminal wage.
so lettuce go fur zee gusto while i yam still able to trot
now, your noggin probably thoroughly mixed up
   and in your mind and even out loud, ja utter more'n !@#$ what!
  
pseudo nom de plume - scott matthews
tracfone ye kin only text
or email your carnal ville fantasy tuff flex.

this chap haint lawless nor "baad"
do not in the least presume this cyber surfer 2b a cad
in many ways, this nada so content married mister mom
   feels akin to being a single dad
who as a nonestablishmentarian shies away from any latest fad
would jump sky high leaping tall buildings
   in one bound and thus be extremely glad
to end laughably, hardly, and desultory marriage
   (with moi deux teenage lasses in tow)
   to find me own pad
and mebbe me girls would be sad
p'raps joost a tad.

a genuine passion arises within my sensitive real brave heart
which ***** purchased - on clearance - at wall mart
t'would very much like e'en an online friendship to start
thus ask ye to bee comb moi special sweet ****.

please lettuce explore ****** fun with this awesome cool dude
you cannot go wrong dear lass per beak
   combing a special "friend" toward this poet
   who tries his mother ******* best rarely to sprechen crude
and man can offer his attitude.

so...unsure if a small *** of cash persuade or tempt you
   to takes this ole (yet boyish looking) disgruntled marred buck  
visa vis discover if we both cluck
this little pecker of a beak
   would love to nibble imitating a duck
cuz in a nutshell dis mwm does really
   does wanna (pardon moi french) ****
please be the one to break this dry spell, and bring me luck
to affect ****** chords of ecstasy to pluck
argh  this dang marriage o moin does absolutely ****
driving into ye air lil parking lot my smallish truck.

anyway, i wanna so mooch touch
   n taste dem re: ***** lick kin naughty bits
especially the ones referred to as *****
where male genitalia near perfectly fits
rubbery and a bit tangy yet still tasty as buttered grits
from dis *** **** u late ted electrons
   dat go haywire with random hits
wetter day be big or little like pits
this guy alias raised on buckwheat and grits
wants to hit dat ****** n dislikes doze who quits
mail me a note - ideally a naked photo with ***, ***** and ****
and hoops to offer his gunny sack full of wisdom and wits.

this chap doth betcha ye got ample allure
n yar companionship would nada be ya bore
though getting 2 know someone = an arduously pleasant chore
especially if invited in2 their door
without getting stuck like eeyore
for...
so...If receptive 4 whatever fir fun galore
respond to the Magic Man of words nada bon joe v jure
TRACFONE NUMBER = 215--370--8929 to lure
my ear a table desires more
or
act our fantasies tum make a home run, touchdown or score.
while scrolling along memory cyber drive
at the safe speed of sixty five
i chanced to espy a olde email in my dormant bee hive
which abuzz with rap, rock and jive
slowly approaching nirvana whence peace will r rive
and wondered if interest exist per friendship with me to strive
mebbe beak comb a brushed up second wive.

no harm meant by the following whimsical wordy zesty email
nothing ventured equates to no gain nor any cause to fail
in searching far and wide for something akin to a holy grail
in the guise of a femme fatale wherever she may hale.

anyway, we can chat about any thoughts in this sultry steamy air
yet to be discovered thru this master card vis a vis dear
using me little wobbling woody somewhat brittle fleshy spear
yet mebbe an immediate impulse arises
   to kick start dis goy in da virtual rear
my feigning to pretend to be some important dignitary like king lear
butta...i hope you write this gentile male without fear.

this early er rather late matthew bird
   always seems to miss catching the worm
that seems to escape his grasp and quickly slither away and squirm
and likens himself to one of those weak and tailless *****
in his formative stage
   way back before being born starting
   from a cell barely bigger than a germ
from a bone er fide ship shape anatomical male hard and firm.

from::scott matthews
who offer that ye goot nut tin to lose
by befriending me - a doubting thomas
   who dislikes when p pull re::fuse
   but a gentle siri us homle based ****** cruise!

TRACFONE NUMBER = 215--370--8929
best to send me a text
whether for general chit char or...search 2 get ***
since this archaic and primitive hand held nokia device
   unpredictably responds with a voice mail message
   to me - a ore din aery glum mwm whose shaft already flex
and juiced for pennsylvania dutch sake - cast a magic hex.
Non random, but (based on my very
     far out, flimsy laughably
     amateurish thinking)
     faux feigned aye
firmly believe, that
     what appears bye and by
as erratic, kinetic,

     pathetic housefly...doth not defy
explanation, when theory linkedin
     with sophisticated espy
craft, and anonymously fyi
confirmed, grounded, touted...
     across world wide web
    of secret agents akin
     to James Bond 007 guy

remotely controlled, via
     artificial intelligence high
lee believable telltale
     (invisible) fingerprints my
counter espionage foot
     soldiers well nigh
came to this
     sticky hunch expertly ply

ying spellbinding twisted
     sinister and sly
and family tombstone,
    where anti-American saboteurs,
     perhaps planned purposely
     left loose ends
     only one practiced
     in surveillance would tie

dangling minuscule threads
     pulled together, how
     indiscriminate fiends
     of American government
     blatantly intrude zooming
     carefree necessitating vie
hubble counter measures
     Accorded unsuspecting

     and surreptitious ploys
CIA and/or FBI Intel recourse
     never need to explain why.
Anyway scrutinizing distraction
     from Insecta nuisance
     found yours truly
     pondering impossible odds
     stacked against this elusive drone

(YES), this supposition
     finds a "NON FAKE" assertion
     Musca domestica
     gets used to hone
in on random (a for instance)
     chosen guys, who share
     the christened name
     this Matthew Scott Harris,

interestingly enough
     tend tubby a lone
ranger clear ring stream
     of consciousness muck
cob bray undertaken
     (with grave solemnity)
     while awaiting for
     divine intervention

     with any luck
     after reciting pater noster,
     while this drake
     didst quack like a duck,
     hoop fully heard
     by cosmic consciousness
     differentiating my unique cluck
among the bajillion

     of other angry bird,
     calls and even accompanied
     by snorting from one buck
     king bronco minister,
     whose birth debut
     occurred, viz astrologic
     Capricorn sign butta no fault
     could hash tag, nor pin

     blame circumstance attributed to
     nobody in particular recognizing
     accounting held for no logical rhyme
     or courtesy of
     posthumously feted author
     Ayn Rand who, birthed
     Genre Objectivism creates novel
     page turner starring John Galt

     (yeah...yeah..yeah...
     him of Atlas Shrugged)
     waiting by Howard Roark
     named Fountain Head
     (with mine pent up insult
ting barrage of
     regular play station
     expletives, and time

     soon to call quits),
     where protracted radar
     enforced grunts to halt
**** sitter hub lee delayed by...
     an unexpected Alien abduction
     (fortunately nsync
     with my gestalt)
this male (terrific, sarcastic fault

less rhapsodic, quixotic,
     poetic, magnetic, exalt
ting kinetic, Italic,
     generic, energetic, dolt
copacetic, atheistic adult

prayed for nothing
     short of being struck
     by a (NON binding mortally
     Wounding) strunken white
     hot lightening bolt.
Aye dream of Genie (as a Lad din)
     Schwenksville, Pennsylvania -
     keystone state abbreviated as Pea Yay,
this stupid non huge poem
     really...a boot nuttin
     butta an overrated allay
zee good for nothing, bay

     sic ****** slob, bray
zing as a ("FAKE") pence heave
     trumpeting (Don Key Oat Tee),
     chutzpah twittering Prez, -
     whom stoop “To **** a Mockingbird”
activate hocus pocus “Go Set NRA
as a Watchman,” yepper, hip pip hooray,
whose **** sitters un mensch hen

     nib bill, one important,
     non binding ***** nilly play
book title, sans how to acquire,
     tousled windswept coiffed soufflé
rooted under sworn confidential heady
testimony (top secret only known
     between POTUS, FLOTUS,
     and hairstylist Tiffany Kaljic)

     helped grow "The Art Of The De..." lay
sham (poo poo) headline kept under ray
dar only "How To Get Ri." Dove lousy
tonsuring service, and how easy
to get Head & Shoulders above fray
dee cats - me owing over petty files

     versus joining gray
vee train via tracking
     "FAKE" ***** footing
     faux Trump wannabes, hence ICE hay
Immediately railroad competition
     viz, against ISIS speck did
Amazon tubby a root cause
thus resorting to

     "Midas Touch: Why...Ent...er
risk to get scalped, when,
     (though periwig poor
     hirsute substitute), I belay
burr the point far y'all
     (get a Fred – Roger over) to hoist
     by one's own petard oye vey,
while channeling das directv gray

gore re: haired (50 shades), and
     direct descendent from Kublai
Khan, a moost deplorable display
     yellowish, venomous, serpent,
     which poisonous scorpion size prey
with deadly fangs straight
     (tinned by orthodontists),
    a perfect set pearl whites in an array

as daggers hissed ("FAKE")
     snaky intergenerational viper, and
     true tomb ice elf flave
     heard like a pampered baby
(nick named Keebler Khan)
     unthinkable alternative
     (forever shunned near and faraway)
if this poetaster doth betray

his (my) devote followers, no matter
     admirably, dutifully, and gracefully
     fulfilling role as sommelier
     replenishing wine goblets
     with vintage chardonnay,
nonetheless reprimanding recalcitrants,
     who opt to breakaway
slamming, shaming, and scathing

     rants against brand name
     Matthew Scott Harris
     finds himself a castaway,
     thus unsure, how to write without delay
An insipid poem to pay
(overtime) homage about Labor Day
prepping mental gears
     glommed together like clay

while cruising at mock speed
     faster then (Tom Hawk)
     along the (Al Gore) rhythm information
     super highway expressway
axe chilly (sh...dont tell a soul
     lest I club burr you -
     ha juiced tees zing),

     yours truly intends
     to play umpteen (close
     to a bajillion) rounds of golf
     on the Harris fairway
Lest a Tony (nay)
boar hood tiger jumps
     out of the woods painfully sinking

sharp teeth into mine flesh for play
     jour quickly making mince
     meat then fillet
mignon before (prestidigitation
     i.e.presto) magically
     regurgitating my self fully intact
     as repurposed slimy trumpeting popinjay.
All of a sudden (upon
     immediately arising refreshed,
     whar these lovely
     bones did not ache

getting shut eye lasting
     amply time for
     fatigue to brake,
     long enough for tear ducts

     to generate sandy granule
     size piece smaller
     than a Jimmie
     sprinkled atop piece of cake

an inexplicable fanciful
     notion gripped me
     to circumnavigate the globe
(then during or after

     write a poem or journaled)
     possibly like Sir Francis Drake
who lived (circa 1540 –
     28 January 1596)

alight to adventure found
     yours truly though
     no longer tired
     i.e. once adequately

     rested and awake,
(despite sleeping respite
     did reckon asthma
     second daily nap

     no...no...no...,this not "FAKE)"
ah ran to the community room,
     cuz sigh did hanker for coffee,
     sans one of the (perky,

     finely grounded, Earthy)
     residents, who faintly resembled
     a Minnesotan from Land o Lake
did brew, filter, and invoke love

     said coffee she did make,
tubby extra sure boundless energy
would keep me alert for:
     long day's journey into night

and while walking briskly
(this took about a bajillion
     orbitz round the sun,
cuz ah...unfairly small feet

     for this opaque
     grown man hoop ping to partake
of sipping a hot cup of Joe,
     (despite the outside temperature

     feeling like a bajillion degrees -
     courtesy of global warming)
mouth (analogous to
     the dog of Pavlov)

     started to salivate
for desperate caffeinated
     thirst to slake
after a couple swallows...

     ah (no idea why butta)
     Zarathustra channeled
     thru me didst spake.
Meaning the corporeal complex edifice
housing these lovely bones,
where linkedin logorrhea ably
strives to break out
in meaningless song
yobble hum hum ****** dee dee
and dance courtesy
an unexpected burst of energy
helped fashion a second rate poem
heaving up from deep within the key
of Matthew Scott's ideas – née
Harriet and Ozzie
stereotypical 1950's family prithee
i.e. unexpectedly manifesting que
cull lee coalescing, butta not three
endeavors crafted since quota we
kind to exhaust passion before zee...

land revisited, when
a call for shot eye
guarantees, a plethora of ideas
wordlessly will take flight
into the cerebral realm will fly
necessitating exertion from this guy
will necessitate me to type
briskly before hie....
forget what dreams are made
when supine I restfully lie
otherwise once fully awake
I would be forced to pry
remembrance of things past
from the night before trying
to scour subconscious
with plentitude, whereby

ah...whew...just when
I felt at a loss what to write...
bitta bing bitta bang
(optional chitty at no extra cost),
lo and behold ear splitting,
appalling sounds did invite
until dusk hands clapped
over each ear tight
to muffle noise pollution spite
fully generated by
rambunctious youths,
who know no right
that rosily gunning engines quite
obnoxious, and that conviction
edited (by me) tubby polite
buffer this chap hunkers
down for the night
after switching off the end table light.

The following constitutes the e-man
soup pay wanton declaration
emphatically, independently,
and obnoxiously
transmitted thru ether
these loathsome roar of dirt bikes
punctuates the formerly quiet air
where local high school
teenage mutant ninja
male turtles blare
(an educated presumption)
at top notch threshold decibel
definitely inducing deafness,
which will soon be clear
to those motorheads
flooring accelerator scaring deer
and other sparse wildlife,
whose engines I hear
miles away, cuz this bard ****
got extreme (ear river rent)
hypersensitivity to sound
perhaps linkedin
tummy predisposition,
could allow ma

self to expound,
whereby scrawling how painful
eye experience,
where 21st century
urban jungle doth abound
to exacerbate anxiety and panic,
aye noticed round
about puberty, and plugged up ears
to dull the nerve wrack
king Breitbart cacophony
even family pet
dogs (part Border
Collie and Hell Hound)
barked with shrill torturous yap,
which reverberation did
assault and pound
analogous to round after round
of ammunition being fired
making an audible sound
within mine delicate constitution
evidenced by lower gastrointestinal bubbling,
churning, and gurgling
kickstarting what feels
analogous to molten lava
rumbling from ore face leading
within mine leadened belly.

Presenting written access to
excellent outlook powerfully pointing
to the Inferno as Divine Comedy
by Dante Alighieri
and also a best seller titled fiction
written by author Dan Brown.

Within underworld vastness
Beelzebub, formerly known
as either Triel, or Yophiel,
a former Seraph turned
high-ranking demon,  
considered one of the Seven
Princes of Hell and oversees
the Order of the Fly.

He, alongside Satan and Lucifer,
forms the triumvirate of Hell
and  one of the supreme
monarchs of the Inferno.

Audiological ***** of mine
impossible to avoid unwillingly
being part of loud
buoys George culture club
emanations impossible to dub,
thus helplessly bombarded, exposed,
and subjected to discordant
damaging noise found
yours truly to flub
attendant tasks, especially grub
bing to earn chump change
to avoid mingling at social hub
rather remain hermetically
sealed, where nub
body cant see me, hence
that concludes thine literary rub
a dub dub with three men in a tub.
Bowedbranches Apr 19
Let it stream
Be believable
be-come a beacon  an
What am I butta heathen

So to me **** talk is a cakewalk
I'll chalk it  always
Straight up Block it outta memry
Non-stop
Vestiges

I Never been so
Non- chalant
Null in void
So numb to it


But sometimes heaven hits

... And after a billion epiphanies
A weakened soul
Can be made redeemable
All on my own now
Had a quarter of a notebook filled from my days at the halfway house most written when im newly out of jail everything is new and fresh and overwhelming... Oh camryn if you only knew what was coming  haha
Couched in the
     concept of a well,
     (which supplied the water
     for faded glory of "Glen Elm),"
     my boyhood abode,
another metaphorical attempt
     at writer's block - aid,
     here attempting to reference

     (former Leiper estate re: early
     twentieth century demesne)
     across avast tract, which bestrode
approximately a hundred
     acres enshrined sanctuary,
(yet whittled down
     to about a half dozen acres,
when Boyce Harris made purchase

     circa February 28th 1968),
     sans plethora paradise
     of flora and
     fauna once code
did ecologic niche,
     now...long since transformed
     into ticky tack vinyl city
     servicing twenty first

     century materialistic cushy
     (on *****) sedentary worker
     dog tired to pen a ditty
(butta no mien
     mean manual laborer,
     neither grubby nor gritty)
     propertied class i.e. bourgeoisie),
     whence about a century gone by,

     where wild woods would still
     have been agreeable
     to the ghost of Walter Mitty,
or John James Audubon
(born Jean Rabin;
     April 26, 1785 – January 27, 1851,
     an American ornithologist,
     naturalist, and painter),

     who would pity
fully unleash torrential
     tears, nor witty
countenance supposedly progress
     this eighteenth year
since advent of second millennium
     bench marked based on
     start of common era

     at expense, where
countless animals and plants veer
really didst vanish, ah swell
     as a pond
     attracting Canadian Geese
     (they honked in
     French), now...there
tis nary a trace

     of former Currier
     and Ives bucolic
     scene, aye swear
     not e'en a sparse copse pier
reed (and exclamation
     point) argh near
re: zero vestige of vanished
     rural expanse mere

lee cookie cutter
     (look alike)
     family dwellings brave
lee evicting, jack
     knifing, and crave
vin lee over
     laying pastoral
     enclave iniquitous

(courtesy of Neilson, and flave
er flave Gambone
     Brothers), rendered grave
bounty viz Anne
     Xing Mother Nature's
     brethren and cistern did pave
a successful accomplishment
     measured by (Ole) standard

in parlance and accorded rave,
ving reviews, asper
     a job welled (weld) done,
     where only legally tendered
     bucks fate didst save!
So all I ask, would be
inviting, offering, and ushering me to
top secret cygnet committee
to give this average sized
chapped sticky man
spinning the david bowie playlist
as a somber dee jay
an eel lick trick kool aid battery acid test
dancing in the street
even if that requires me to get undressed
dancing with the big boys

my helping hands of average size
worthy to sink initial
public offering funds
and don me with bullet proof vest
building a soulful bond –
glue tin free - day in day out
tis the emotional state
of ma deux grown darling daughters
choosing to take flight
leaving this dada glum many days
assigned chauffeur de jure father

where cradle of democracy
i.e. phila., penna skyline due west
opposing to dwell in the city,
I am just dead against it
does pursue assigned tasks with aplomb
twittering, springing
and googling hypnotically
like a dead man walking
appealing banana rhea public like zest.

Yours truly loner moxie he got
who enjoys tasty kumquat
teasing as fragrant decadent debaser
who (years ago) experienced
social anxiety with abdominal knot
barking, dancing, and foaming
at the mouth diamond dogs
twiddle ling green thumbs

oof a harris tweed
interesting when deep sleep
stirs question did you ever have a dream
butta, non raincoat wearing scott
drying out the muddy
and watery ***** song
lives in or on xyz lane
allowing avid bowie fanatics

to do anything you say
where construction
shoddy as dung key kong
stepping gingerly
around the pile of dodo
whereby foundation starting to rot
positioning myself just so,
that ye don’t bring me down
I turnip ma head of lettuce n eyed

rotten green tomatoes
while yam able to trot
don’t let me down & down
now this cracked egg noggin
thoroughly mixed up
warning ye against the temptation,
to jump into a chocolate vat
hence don’t look down
in mind and even out loud,
ja utter more'n !@#$ what!

Postscript: how didst aye fair
keeping thine bow tied
heart in suspense asking - don’t sit down
asia faux pas king lear
hoping for his divine arrival
with movie time drive in saturday
whom might live far or near
breathing sigh of relief
at appreciable distance
‘tween dum dum boys

even though seasoned heartland I see
tackling threading n camel
thru needle than writing
bajillion line poem
evinces davy jones locker
sealed with a prayer
honoring the solemn funeral
whereat everyone says hi
doth exist whether heterosexual
or supremely "queer"

everything’s all right
such immense gulf
entombs plenty of fish
flailing with death
as all dog bombs the moon
and carcasses of those in rear
envying that titanic ghost
of david bowie to fall in love with me
guard, yukon beak comb
good friends n share

until time lapse on terrestrial sphere
finds metamorphosize unbeknownst
to bobbing buoys
and gabbling gulls tear
ring thru the vast tarn shroud
amidst wreckage where
manifest destiny
swallows up the man who fell to earth
amidst tha sea of humanity
tulle thee last civilization year
will forever disappear.

this psalm burr endeavor from:
modest nonpareil wordsmith
Aye dream of Genie (as a lad din)
Schwenksville, Pennsylvania -
keystone state abbreviated as Pea Yay,
this stupid non huge poem
deployed courtesy scholar
really...a boot nuttin
butta an overrated allay
zee good for nothing, bay
sic ****** slob, bray
zing as a ("FAKE") ex pence heave

trumpeting (Don Key Oat Tee),
chutzpah twittering Prez, -
whom stoop “To **** a Mockingbird”
activate hocus pocus “Go Set NRA
as a Watchman,” yepper, hip pip hooray,
whose **** sitters un mensch hen
nib bill, one important,
non binding ***** nilly play
book title, sans how to acquire,
tousled windswept coiffed soufflé

rooted under sworn confidential heady
testimony (top secret only known
between POTUS, FLOTUS,
and hairstylist Tiffany Kaljic)
helped grow "The Art Of The De..." lay
sham (poo poo) headline kept under ray
dar only "How To Get Ri" Dove lousy
tonsuring service, and how easy
to get Head & Shoulders above fray
dee cats - meowing over petty files

versus joining gravy train via tracking
"FAKE" ***** footing
faux Trump wannabes, hence ICE hay
immediately railroad competition
viz, against ISIS speck did
Amazon tubby a root cause
thus resorting to
"Midas Touch: Why...Enter
risk to get scalped, when,

(though periwig poor
hirsute substitute), I belay
burr the point far y'all
(get a Fred – Roger over) to hoist
by one's own petard oye vey,
while channeling das directv gray
gore re: haired (50 shades), and
direct descendent from Kublai
Khan, a moost deplorable display
yellowish, venomous, serpent,

which poisonous scorpion size prey
with deadly fangs straight
(tinned by orthodontists),
a perfect set pearl whites in an array
as daggers hissed ("FAKE")
snaky intergenerational viper, and
true tomb ice elf flave
heard like a pampered baby
(nick named Keebler Khan)
unthinkable alternative little cookie

(forever shunned near and far away)
if this poetaster doth betray
his (my) devout followers, no matter
admirably, dutifully, and gracefully
fulfilling role as sommelier
replenishing wine goblets
with vintage chardonnay,
nonetheless reprimanding recalcitrants,
who opt to breakaway
slamming, shaming, and scathing

rants against brand name
Matthew Scott Harris
finds himself a castaway,
thus unsure, how to write without delay
an insipid poem to pay
(overtime) homage about Labor Day
prepping mental gears
glommed together like clay
while cruising at mach speed
faster then cruising (Tom Hawk)

along the (Al Gore) rhythm information
super highway expressway
axe chilly (sh...don't tell a soul
lest I club burr you -
ha juiced tees zing),
yours truly intends
to play umpteen (close
to a bajillion) rounds of golf
on the Harris fairway
Lest a Tony (nay)

boar hood tiger jumps
out of the woods painfully sinking
sharp teeth into mine flesh for play
jour rising quickly making mince
meat then fillet
mignon before (prestidigitation
i.e.presto) magically
regurgitating my self fully intact
as repurposed slimy trumpeting popinjay.
Please pardon mine assertion
I dared to surmise
familiarity with me,
an avid reader and prolific writer
(mainly to appease personal pleasure)
thus upon embarking upon
reaching out, your curiosity piqued.

Daily onslaught from schoolyard
punkish bullies ace
thus, storybooks provided
haven to experience liberation
cowardice, fearfulness, insecurity
low opinion regarding base
sic selfhood writ large upon,
this then diminutive carapace,
I firmly believe stunted growth
with me hallowed face
non-verbal passive behavior
ideal fodder did grace

for carnivorous, ferocious,
incredulous, and malicious preface
to young adulthood oppressing
quiet soul as if race
sing existence qua
Wounded Knee leg uss see
(possibly trace sub bull
during fertilization,
conception, and accruing
gestation within, what
would become a ways
trill womb did) fetal wretch.

Mailer daemons choked bravery
absent courage did endear
grievous inner mission
self-starvation parents did fear,
(which evolved via gradations)
omitting first one repast to share
then two, and finally declining
sustenance into a lad opting to die

butta as a licensed practical nurse
(LPN) this then puny guy
became top priority,
and my mother resorted
to whipping high
lee nutritious concoctions
in tandem with
giving me iron injections

upon one or other posterior cheeks
of ma bony derriere no lie,
the sharp pain of the needle
stoically I bore, while my
thoughts adrift upon cerebral raft
of mental weaknesses de nigh
yule lovely bones epitomized
by refusal to eat -

no hands could pry
jaws of death clutched stranglehold
on life without bing shy,
heavily impinged ability
to function, and fatigued
when aye did try
to exert myself even minimally,
and now wonder why....

An accomplice devilishly game
more dishabille coaxing
than any bon mot
inside Kapellmeister Matthew Scott
possessed upper hand.
lack of will power
to expunge did rot
exhausting cerebral dual
nihilistic paradigm plagued
ever since a tot.

Mindset robbed positive growth
development locked with lost weight
indifference affected gamut of other persons
ambition to terminate tender teen
dominated, wrought asunder
aim toward deadly state
impinged witnessing barely squeaking
thru majority grades rate
to fail paid poor dividends reaped
Absent perseverance found pate
never sought academic support,
hence high school diploma hate
to acknowledge, when
no effort made plus spectral
of near invisibility
did NEVER steal a kiss nor date.

Thus an attempt for companionship
(even if limited to online realm
reasonable rhyme I tried to create
also cathartic, holistic, and therapeutic  
courtesy linkedin words
mental anguish I alleviate.
I mull mortality
thru lens crafted occipital orbs
regarding a better future
experience sing a space oddity –
whar incessant yaks
exuding a big hurt
emanate as cosmic atomic
bipedal hominids replete roof lee wax
during a foggy day in London town
despite current requisite vacs  

in nation, with no win intent to tax
earning income sans
new career in a new town
sacred gaia,
boot merely regale bing alive -
till death rattle racks
breaking rocks
on a small plot of land –
named abdulmajid
this hue man vesicle

honking duck dine hasty billed quacks
trumpeting as absolute beginners
*** ping toot trumpet
sum dimming sense n sensibility cashed;
screaming across the universe  
gnome matter whirled wide web
tattered like worn school packs
scattering fractal moonbeams
african night flight
scouring virtual briny deep

satiating hunger after all
sans respite from stressors 2-tha max
ending after today at al alba
finds me caught up
in global game of thrones
listening as dueling banjos
play alabama song
cosmic forces play bingo or jax
keeping aladdin sane
while mortals on earth join
fine null scene grim reaper as final acts.

This then bryn mawr clowning bozo
belting out algeria touchshriek anthem
haint no wah shaky spear butta rip peats
living virtuous like all saints
moss lee same old epithet via matt speak,
comprehending all the madmen
which maxim (or similar facsimile thereof)
generating kickstarting optimism
among all the young dudes
attributed to bard of avon on stratford;

reaching renown when almost grown
e.g. rose by any other name....
embalming owed grecian formula lovers
always crashing in the same car
much ado about nothing
amazing amlapura and amsterdam
couched in binary granules viz badinage,
interlocking rem cycles
during an occasional dream
literary espionage donned
as persnickety persiflage, quite lame

convincing brilliance
to whit, and I say to myself
eventually...all's well
that ends well sans this game
reveling like any Warhol –
tripping anyway, anyhow, anywhere
of thrones - n this yahoo
pledges allegiance n fealty
during the post world war two art decade
within parameters of cyberspace
cuz crest o kinship I aim.

Ike kin only imagine dragons
drooling n eyes glazed o’er bleacher
blitzing the madding crowd
as the world falls down
than lovely bones re:
unique scrunched ****** feature
burning down the house ashes to ashes
twisted countenances wrought
by this motley fool sought after
baying plaintively baal’s hymn
(der choral vom groben baal)
by men in white coats attired

as paparazzi equating lecher
rocking cradling baby –
envisioning baby can dance
us content; misconstruing
sensitive uber up lyft ting preacher
entrusting me - baby it can’t fall
cooing baby grace (a horrid cassette)
a generic garden-variety **** sapiens
doting with radiance
as baby loves that way
special to self n family
as a funny sunny teacher.

Credo i.e. to confront
fear of flying as netizen,
pinging pacifying patty cakes,
which iz baby universal
pardon jeffersonian airplane droning
twittering like n angry bird
shrieking that the referee backed a loser
echoing sagacious life lessons whey curd
ballad of the adventurers
(die ballade von den abenteureren)

congeals shape shifting simian
with pliant plinth gird
trebling melodic scaffold fueled band intro
shorn in various n sundry
couture hair re: styled swiftly tailored
flying needles clattering with a bang bang
harried styled uniform
far from versace clothier - prices absurd
holding wrongly incarcerated
behind bars of the county jail

boot issued from
rosy gun metallica sound heard
describing the battle
for britain (the letter)
evanescence of beauty -
these words written by aging nerd
hoping for thee to be my wife
from mine kempf noggin
each n every nine inch nail size word.

HEAVENLY STANZA INTERRUPTION ONE
and/or try distilling my spirits
at losing gamble
if curious (by George) proceed
reading reasonable rhyme,
I guarantee the following words ramble.

Though flush with good humor
pun one mock two yields negligible
true cash equivalent value won
dirt poor offspring privileged as prodigal son
pockets bursting with legal tender,
when just yesterday I reveled in fun.

All polite declinations
strung together would circle...
(fill in the blank) x times
matter of fact,
I just got a slew of them
today April 26th, 2022,
what a lucky man
me haint an idealist...,
but winning poetry (writing) contest
or purchasing lottery tickets...
yeah, nothing butta pipe dream

such improbable whimsical notion
linkedin and tantamount
with milkmaid and pail
Aesop pose fabulous incredulous solution
finally good riddance
hand to mouth existence
hello riches, perchance a dollop
and/or sizable windfall courtesy
drawn PowerBall and/or Mega Million ticket,
whereby yours truly suddenly

cursed with more'n chump change,
and/or abundant money
would experience "fifteen minutes of fame"
flush with friends and relatives,
who metaphorically came out of woodwork,
I (a misanthrope) never knew existed
(perhaps even marriage propositions,
no matter wedded bliss prevails)
interesting... how moderate
and/or substantial wealth
suddenly finds chock a block

acquisitions accessible at my fingertips
(regarding brand new automobile,
custom designed house,
travel opportunities galore
(maybe even vacation to Mars)
(despite prevalence coronavirus - COVID -19),
nevertheless honed awareness,
viz immutability altering
pubescent stunted emotional, physical
and social development
plus profusely sweating hands
then and now, social anxiety

all the while knowing money
can't buy happiness,
yet once and for all at long last
free and clear of grinding poverty
cuz groveling along
the pockmarked highway
avails countless exit ramps
plethora of choices
inviting strong arm of the law
for instance how to be analogous to jolly roger
piloting immense hijacked ship of state

(approximating size of Rhode Island)
equipped with the latest trappings
matter of fact replete
with every creature comfort
analogous to rich
self sufficient independent country
allowing, enabling, and providing
a warm welcome - think unfurled
Harris tweed Scottish welcome mat.

POSTSCRIPT: Feel free to be
kickstarter to (mine nonexistent)
Gofundme site Cree
hating altruism toward me,
whose monetary shortfall
cruel fate did decree,
though if yours truly ever
pens his autobiography,
ye will become privy
to mein kampf awash
with squandered key
opportunities harkening
back to primary school.

Argh...,I unwittingly thwarted
necessary positive growth
once in a lifetime occasions,
thus penury finds me
rattling figurative tin cup
for small largesse - ha.
Once again, yours truly
dishes out his regular dose
of literary gobbledygook
even Count Dracula
would not even bat an eye
nor give me his evil curse,
butta I avoid tempting him
courtesy fanged hook or crook
(albeit harmless) look
regarding feeble effort I undertook.

Don't forget hour hands
of clocks spring forward
sixty minutes 2:00 AM
in Pennsylvania and other states
bracketed within eastern
Eastern Standard Time
on Sunday March thirteenth!

Yes roundabout third eye blind -
doggone (con seeded)
melon collie month every year,
one garden variety ***
(inconvenienced truthfully)
precariously balanced
while tethered to Earth hoop fully
explains himself, hence following mishmash
divulged courtesy unnamed generic chum
purposelessly manipulating
space/time continuum hold over.

About 107 three hundred sixty five day  
increments elapsed since
United States adopted
Standard Time Act of March 19, 1918
confirmed existing
standard time zone system
and set summer DST
to begin on March 31, 1918
(reverting October 27).

Rat a tat tat doth lightly drum
upon mine sixty plus shades of gray matter
i.e., a sensation of jet lag
(with earthling out of balance -
an inconvenient truth)
as if aboard Herbert George Wells,
time machine – and trapped
within The War of the Worlds
impossible mission to escape
at warp speed from
this horrid station, where bumpy ride
invariably finds me
feeling ticked off and glum
in no mood to craft reasonable rhyme,

nor be leer re: cull (lyrical)
juiced barely tantamount
to gather scattered wits
sin tide, and express mood
as picky hewn *** hum
fortunate rising son, this chronological
seismic shift nada wide, ah assume
nonetheless, mein kampf
cerebral hemispheric plate tectonics

comb pluck hated off jangling
black keys helplessly boom
fancifully drifting and boring
into quick ribald sand trap doom
ming an inducement
for emergency convoy,
when pitched to and fro
hither and yon from
sea to figurative shining sea.

Graham ma mother earth glum
where live yik yak wired vanguard
trulia tried optimism to hum
nonetheless, swallowed down
reprising Tom Wolfe
("O Rotten Gotham — Sliding Down
into the Behavioral Sink")
her cremated inert ashes boxed
for more'n eternity
like talcum powder went – me mum

bling bloviation, once worth
matchless peerage, now pitched numb
lee into morass
of temporary confusion, where plumb
line delineating circadian rhythm offset,
when athwart pilot ***
man strait ting and bickering
with Lilliputians slum
bring within islets of langerhans

defiantly thumb nose,
where body, mind and soul
weeknd strength (viz a bully did cower)
hence mister clock,
who got hijacked
3600 seconds per hour
experienced head, thorax and abdomen
diminishing in power

wrought indistinguishable
Whitsuntide as sour
grapes imposing ill fitting sea legs,
which folded like a faulty tower
crumbling skeletal carapace,
resoundingly surrendered,
and back slid vis a vis
space/time continuum did devour.

Black hole (sun) event horizon indeed
kept lock step as das joint mill hoard
sucker punched the band
(re: oh speed) wagon of father time,
who riffs a silent chord
nsync with atomic energizer bunny
fractional second bored
quirky shenanigans
toying with chronometers
counter point of view shifted
to oppose this minute accord.
(posthumous playful note to posterity kith unsealed
courtesy yours truly once deceased and cremated.)

Whew...so glad tubby gratefully dead
butta shaw miss dug hid ole days
when violence highly overrated
unlike current rooted locked dread,
aye wax poetically nostalgic when Fred
Rogers friendly persona
already quaintly outdated

mutinous armed militia incessant childish
popgun lawlessness pranks ran amuck
indiscriminately fired
magazine round as bullets sped
whizzing to and fro, hither and yon
slowed then stopped by flesh,

while folks nestled abed
****** sheets, yupper reckon
shot blew hole head
off, no necks time
no matter innocent victim led
virtuous life kneadlessly,

purposelessly, unfairly...
stole by bullet size Grinch, hmm possibly
just maybe, he felt put off and miss sled
by Whoever, thus mad as hatter his said
color turned fifty shades of gray
mottled with fire engine red

now, no matter such innocent chitty chitty
bang bang ruses by duplicitous
hotheaded hooligans bred,
cuz instead every man, woman and child
blessed, donned, gifted... with atomic warhead
absolutely crazy, but president instead

wanted even Steven playing field to win votes,
no matter constituents begged and pled
naught necessarily in vain
since humanity in short shrift
cleared off terra firmae,
another foreign species immune

to radioactive fallout sprung
out Taj Mahal fountainhead
of atlas shrugged ayn rand dilly read
deed planet Earth proof positive Q.E.D
drafted fiat whereby high
powered weapons packing heated lead
plus scattered nuclear bombs

melted than repurposed material
i.e. former munitions armaments purchased
hoof hull legal black market
into raw bits moon units instead
necessary for android robots to tread
carefully, but carry big stick,
when encountering dreamy eyed electric sheep.
Especially when giving cheeky badass
blemished physiognomic reflection
tricking me seeing displeasing likeness
Matthew Scott Harris, a grown lad brandishing
his treasured invisible cutlass
poised to strike, (where spiderlines
instantaneously provoked, webbed,
and frankly zapped shattering experience),
whereby yours truly

rendered unconscious to any pass
hubble gratefully dead singed hair zombie
straight away befriending image with him
aforementioned christened human biomass,
hence explains personal objection (mine)
devoid of any sass
sneaking a peek at (regarding employing
cute antiquated, quaint word) looking glass.

Feeble effort, butta lemme attempt to apprise
ye dear reader, how gasping
at me selfsame visual simulation spurs cries
and whispers with shrieks of horror
inexplicable nauseating revulsion jars myopic eyes
espying even willow the wisp gallivanting guise
think mine glassy doppelganger blithely

traipsing, tooling tiptoeing no lies
hands down acquiring masquerade ball door prize
if nothing else... try getting a fleeting rise
of humoresque judicious metaphorical
sucker puncheon the gut against self I satirize
February twenty third perhaps lame effort
to affect seeming witty and wise.

Mailer daemons rule cerebral roost,
whereby gimcrackery invectives loosed,
cuz all during growing up years bullies did boost
inferiority complex hatching adult
egg go self steam goosed
abysmal confidence building accomplishment
ye accurately deduced

charnel, (bilabial) frictional,
infernal... struggle moost
arduous (think Atlas, Sisyphus, plus
ten subsequent Greek mythological Titans) juiced
with eternal divinity upon
whose figurative shoulder humanity papoosed.
photographs rarely doth me justice boot at least some idea will be available if aye seem appealing enough to kiss. boy george, i will try to maintain a thorough lee good convivial over tone so police pardon moi, who calls out justin timberlake time this hermit tick lee sealed hominid dwelling metallica regular rolling stone sans placid yet poison end herman hermits stung by the scorpion human league this abba ca dabra purported - vee lad putative culture club virtual puddle of mudd digital glop, nor conclude me crud cuz, this olda boy - by george wants 2b yo steve a door miller bud jist hole dejure sly and the family stone horses that wanna prance n let there be dragons, seals and crofts me fair lady gaga cuz u auto let my *** pistol gofundme 2 see eddie money far hay, how duh name of dis swiftly tailored tar nation did ya got a hold - don't be afraid e cat nor slink away like a def leppard, fur mebbe i wrote cha from this utter alias name from zee station here or maybe at my previous abode while sipping tea? enjoy a glass of vintage wine don't let the rush o time induce necessity to reciprocate with one or more lines for your aura, charisma, enigma variations align to evoke an alluring, captivating, enervating charm of a gal, whose electronic presence felt as like an animal farm-ville replete with picture perfect barn, and chicken coop where foxes befriend each hendricks without harm dis here buoy i.e. stanley steamer doth newt goot any piercings and no tat twos any where, boot not bothered by a gal covered froom head to foot, or...one with my name i.e. matthew scott harris 'tho no emerald, ruby sapphire, nor flash gordon in the pan could ever sway me away from living a short span that would allow, enable and offer at least a millennium where we can take a spin in my car a van actually, this bloke drives a 2020 hyundai elantra, which revving engine silenced guns and roses without inducing your stomach 2 turn and skin appear to turn green, when most would agree this mutt spouts a meaningless pro verb whose poe it tree haint superb with no intent to perturb butta sprinkle your monitor with some savory her band...also ye need not worry this schlemiel ***** trained habit upon georgian bush doth politely curb. witness this somewhat inn o 50 cent pennywise thrift, nickelback, dime a dozen face no bias, boot moi christened name, would be matched by equipoise ****, and amazing grace becoming a worthy friend within the milieu of virtual place who could disguise herself as being an alien from the human race perhaps our egress living **** seems light years away in an acme safeway, wholefoods, et cetera and secure distant virtual or real space so if intrigued to learn more send bits o digital feedback in binary code or across the heavens some skywriting message these eyes (e'en though tired like twin led zeppelins) will trace. i wish (as u2 might also desire as belonging to the human league) to feel that palpable poison us scorpion stinging pearl jam metallica making egress viz in living color deep purple reigning village people. this beatle browed (harkens to the black crows of Nazareth) that sound akin 2 rushing train of pleasure that courses thru an entire being (during black sabbath) on account of welcoming frequency to explore journey toward nirvana sans writing as the mental foreplay toward...inxs letting this red hot chile peppered beastie boy playing with one bare naked lady. even if something real and tangible a possibility, you could be disinclined to step up to a closer degree of intimacy, perhaps based on seriously involvement with a significant other since progressing thru the creed dent shul of many emotional/ spiritual trials and tribulations. no need from me to resort with insistence (vis a vis induce any hype or pressure, yet once in a lifetime golden finger red opportunity) to experience one direction of joey vivre enjoyment of me as feigned bad company. police - kanye kim e sump tin faw free swiftly tailored made oh kay tee perry up so i can go gaga over ma dear lady.lettuce both induce glee juiced send n email 2 me 3 doors down with inxs of pearl jam shutters no beginning nor plea cuz ah already rote in ma dire straits pledged yar troth can, yippee contrived virtual toy story qua ratatouille poetic brew could materialize in2a likely chance such an idea prods me 2 shrek out with excitement & dance just in case a glimmer of prospect in the park exists. this self anointed bard dislikes formality, hence i present good humor skills, which hopes to enhance this chap who offers poetic expression uncommon in france. he sets sights on sand fran sis go. take a glance 2 help dis intuitive **** sapiens sharpen mental acuity like a lance bite size bit torrent word play might cause ye 2 soil pants interpreting hodgepodge as rave & rants. even platonic rapport would buoy positive stance intent worth b friend ding, 2 sway au currant series electronic charge affect hypnotic trance 4 consideration 2 advance. I betcha never red an intro duck tory reply like this quacker. i'm an ink blot from bic pentameter typed o'er electric wires boyish looking blood muggle father up in years, (whose nonpareil courage 2 face Voldemort, which exploit does tire), and 2 luv lee young adult girls want him 2 sing miles away from the choir 2 prevent game raw bits of yar self 2 acquire frum a boyish chap dreaming excitedly 4 grandiose ******* interludes joyful kindle bound by pages o love, who lives within perkiomen valley, penna, but, yukon only text. postscript nose one: would you care2 become my bride no joe king nor do i chide please take me away alive or freeze dried or sere this buck hits hide, which lil maximus m butted pill grims pride moon thuntz later whipped mir cull o joy n pure writ tin pride. postscript nose two: i noah nuttin bout witches r warlocks boot feel spellbound with magic dat mockshard science and knocks said solid ******* principles that hocks some basis in astrology n such early learning blocks of humanity - now swept away like chicken pox virus, yet those un-named discoverers of matter allow artificial satellites capable to establish docks far removed from gravitational force when (keep this on the qt), those spacecraft lobbed into cosmos base sic lee from a potion of balled up soiled red socks void where prohibited by sign language or pop yule lye vox. unlike my personality to come across like some forceful chap ling go ring, ******* buster keaton being ****** will buoy us alight if we take to some invisible primal grunting wing from - this average male member egret, who rem members when we first met and consider thee a queen for this rolling stone, who emails (then abduct) me via the net adieu. Bye. chow now, this mwm will await pleasure like when ye text me - if willing, ready, eager and able create r hard woo n intimate ace cee dee cee zip pity doo dsh fable enjoying your cuntry villa mossy two lipped gable ****** sans the medical terminology whispered to thee when voiced per phone where airwaves crackle, snap n pop like mayhem of cars or babble heard at tower of babel via telephonic cable or rsvp tap text message to me a dope gang pull chose er this label the offspring of one great great great...grandmother named Mable who adorned herself in horsehair woven from her thoroughbreds kept in a golden arched stable housing a large equus shaped table.
Though flush with good humor
pun one mock two yields negligible
true cash equivalent value won
dirt poor offspring privileged as prodigal son
pockets bursting with legal tender,
where just yesterday I had none.

All polite declinations
strung together would circle...
(fill in the blank)
matter of fact, I just got a slew of them
today June 9th, 2020, what a lucky man
me haint an idealist...,

but winning poetry (writing) contest
or purchasing lottery tickets...
yeah, nothing butta pipe dream
such improbable whimsical notion
linkedin and tantamount
with milkmaid and pail

Aesop pose fabulous incredulous solution
finally good riddance
hand to mouth existence
hello riches, perchance a dollop
and/or sizable windfall courtesy
drawn PowerBall and/or Mega Million ticket

whereby yours truly suddenly
cursed with chump change,
and/or abundant money
would experience "fifteen minutes of fame"
flush with friends and relatives
I (a misanthrope) never knew existed
(perhaps even marriage proposition,

no matter wedded bliss prevails)
interesting... how moderate
and/or substantial wealth
suddenly finds chock a block
acquisitions (regarding brand new automobile,
custom designed house,

travel opportunities galore
(maybe even vacation to Mars)
(despite coronavirus - COVID -19) prevalence,
nevertheless awareness viz immutability altering
pubescent stunted emotional, physical
and social development

profusely sweating hands, social anxiety
all the while knowing money
can't buy happiness,
yet once and for all at long last
free and clear of grinding poverty
cuz groveling along

the pockmarked highway
avails countless exit ramps
plethora of choices
how to be analogous to jolly Roger
piloting immense ship of state
(approximating size of Rhode Island)

equipped with the latest trappings
matter of fact replete
with every creature comfort
analogous to rich
self sufficient independent country
allowing, enabling, and providing
a warm welcome - think unfurled
Harris tweed Scottish welcome mat.

Meanwhile somewhere in Schwenksville,
Pennsylvania resident
(within apartment B44)...
tenant fritters precious time wishfully thinking
(luxuriant life within theoretical leisure class)
finding this nameless scrivener
invariably hoisting himself by his own petard.
Written roundabout October 31st 2017,
yet nary a handy dandy blue's clue
Jimmy Neutron Spongebob SquarePants
exists about real or imagined
gal in question, and presumed results
regarding the gal in question
acquiring titular role of poetic subject
most likely more than a few
women can lay claim
to being said person re:
goddess of me what dream in question,

but once curiosity took hold
far between once idea
took hold in me noggin
notion became frozen solid
within sixty shades of gray matter
analogous to being
lodged itself an Igloo
for no less than an eternity
linkedin with cryogenic freezing,
which notion prevalent

among the super rich
spending millions of dollars
to procure heated smart toilet,
and additionally, essentially, and ideally
equipping bathroom with golden plated loo
whereby guests needing to relieve themselves
grunt out insync with effe ****
to expel bowel movement
the primal scream aah and ooh
synonymous to giving birth.

Untold females most likely
share same name sake as poem title;
I knew not what to expect
after googling the following namesake
Matthew Scott Harris did a wake
kin me from temporary stupor,
gasping for air as if affixed with a trach
and on a whim thy fingers
flew to keyboard
butta...please dune hot

**** sitter me a rake
or a *** shoveling
unprintable fu*king expleteives,
which would moost deafen net lee
and rightfully tell me
“go jump in a lake”
(an imponderable superior whim)
but tis not for anything to gain
this extemporaneous poem aye make
but more so, this

ordinary garden variety bumpkin
(or pumpkin I transform into
upon eve of Halloween
politically correct)
nay, tis no exterior, interior,
nor ulterior motive this drake
doth quacking, while wading
in the wide webbed whirled
and hoop fully ja refrain
thinking me tubby some flake

yes, a touch of flattery insulated
within thy body electric,
which caw cajun skin color
presents this being opaque
and the purest motive merely
to convey how flattered
this mortal knowing
an anonymous gal
enjoys the material  
which despite what Trump

or his henchmen/women
might have said
“aint what preceded deep fake”
boot real honest to dogness sentiment
that virtually touches me
to the quick and a whim to make
a rhyming poem found impetus
set to express and converse
without any suspicion, paranoia,
or mild headache.

— The End —