"beleived" poems
when I was seven years old
my family started going to a Christian church
and all I thought about was
how the pews that we sat in
would have done more for God as trees
and they said to love our neighbors
because God wanted us to love our neighbors
but I love my neighbor
because his windows are lit up at 4 AM
a time when only the miserable are concious
and yet he always smiles at the postman
when I was thirteen years old
I visited a Buddhist temple with my friend
she showed me how to meditate
but sitting so still made my skin crawl
and she told me about karma
but I wasn't sure what it was
that my little sister did
to get bad enough karma to die at nine years old
she only ever left out granola bar wrappers
and sometimes forgot to say "thank you"
but karma sent her a drunk driver
I never understood religion
the only temple I ever felt at home in
was the hand of my lover
and I never felt the presence of God
but I felt the anguish
of my postman
as my neighbor began to lose that light in his eyes
and I may have never read the bible
but I've run my fingers
across a thousand trees
and they guide me when I am lost
I never beleived in a higher power
but I believe in my sister
who used to pick at threads on her church dress
and to my mothers dismay
ruffled up her perfectly curly hair
no God would **** her
Jan 15, 2014
Jan 15, 2014 at 11:59 PM UTC
Ode to *** and coke
I toast the old *** and coke
the after hour drink from one job to the next
sometimes not a break just slip from one kitchen to the other
one paid the other didn't well except for the drinks
Oh how i adore you *** and coke
wake up in the morning coffee in hand blinders on
weary look up on my face, each morning other side of the wall from the coffee
lays her sleeping with someone new
my heart racing anguished and foolish , embarrassed at every turn. I turn back to my room coffee in hand
watch the clock tick until 2 pm get on my scooter to job number one a place really where I can be in my own world until closing time, then off to job number 2 a repeat of number 1
except for in the waiting after the shift was done a *** and coke is to be in hand.
Tired and weary every hour dusk until dawn.
A time where i felt no escape and no place to run and there at the end of the all shifts
old *** and coke waiting for me to take her in my hands and sip and taste
oh what grace... the numbness sifting out all of daily happenings oh so sweet.
day in day out old *** and coke came about..and met me in the night...
then one night waiting for old *** and coke on second order
came across something new
after getting second drink looked over and said hello... several years ago
Now..both restaurants are gone, things i trusted and beleived in gone,
i have moved, my friend stopped talking
everything has changed once again
like the never ending circle
oh how i wish i had that *** and coke
the bartender knew just how much it took to drown the day in each and every glass
he would pour for me
i raise the *** and coke high into the sky and toast to its existence
for it would listen and ease up all the pain.
Ode to *** and coke
by Alan Spivey 1/20/2014
Jan 20, 2014
Jan 20, 2014 at 11:36 AM UTC
((This poem is written by Omega and me))
He glanced high and high
At the moon up in the sky
Where only real friends say Hi
Where children never needed to cry
Where dreams only needed a try
Where all hopes lie
With wings they could fly
With hopes they jump up high
With strength they apply
With beauty of a butterfly
With peace everywhere they occupy
Each time they get closer, things amplify
Tangled problems start to simplify
Justice is applied, so no need to justify
Hearts are pure, no need to clarify
All things are perfect, no need to qualify
People there never live as mystery
And never die as history
They live with a flourishing industry
Where the life has no boundary
That's the world of legendary
Money there has no quantity
People there have one identity
Their flag is humanity
Their emblem is " No to poverty "
Their perception is full of sanity
Their lives are full of charity
Their purpose is creativity
Their hearts are full of sensitivity
They've never beleived in impossibility
With their dreams magnify
They got high and high
But when it is time to say "goodbye"
They continued to fly and fly
Aug 13, 2014
Aug 13, 2014 at 6:39 AM UTC
It was back in those days, the elementary school days,
when we were all friends, characters to one anothers plays of nonsense.
When we reigned over puddles with galoshes or brightly coloured gumboots.
When we wore capes and knew all the sing along songs.
And yes, I do recall, fondly so, that big park.
We were all there, whether in soul or in spirit,we explored the butterfly gardens, our parents and teachers were there too,
a school trip of sorts?
Just a vivid but fotgotten dream?
Who may answer these questions but ourselves by eventually succumbing to the universes natural way and forgetting the questions and finding and accepting the universes other answers.
The flowers of the light May day were in full bloom and that glass greenhouse, the one that intrigued me so, stood just like a castle.
After lunch, when the children were running throuhg green grass or wiping sticky hands from oranges upon the damper grass of the shade and while our parents and teachers sat on their coats dilly dallying, I stopped.
Stopped from my playing like a bunny caught in someones eyes. Was it a hand that grabbed mine or mine that reached out? Lead to a rivers edge, a little stream or pond. Ducking under willow and stepping over bushes and creeping through imagined dens of foxes or coyotes. My companion, my little friend, the face on the memory is blank, perhaps we had even more company.
We held hands.
We held hands like friends in our childhood innocence, before the concept of cooties, before the playground held terror. We sat hunched up by the pond poking sticks and reeds into the stream. Poking at the river flies and mud. Lost in a mystic realm of childhood unknowingness.
And then it caught me. A glimpse that magnified. The little water spider, gliding on the surface as though the surface were glass.
Oh water bug, from my bright eyes and blurred warm memeory you stood out to me. Majestically skating in the reflection of my face. As though you were that man mentioned in grandfathers stories from the book he said he beleived in, that man himself, walking on water. Such grace and beauty in you're perfectly casual stride, a quality I later noticed and looked for in people. Oh water bug, slipping your little bug fingers through glassy streams like a figure skater on an ice pond.
Do you remember me little bug? I was the one, the one with the little hands reaching out. I tried to hold your magic in my hands.
I was the one that in awe
reached out
But like a snap dragon,
in a blink, you were gone.
Feb 8, 2014
Feb 8, 2014 at 7:14 PM UTC
Take a minute
to reflect
Believe and you can and you are halfway there.
Look at yourself
Have self respect
Believe you can and you are halfway there.
When a train struggles up hills on a worn track
A miner returns home with an empty sack
That train has power, no thought involved
but the miner he struggled to keep hold
of something he believed in, cared for
Hoped for and somethiing more
He knew he could do it, just didnt achieve it
But he beleived he could and he was halfway there.
The day after, he struck gold, more gold than ever before
It sparked, it told the Earth, opened its Crust's door
The miner, like the train had power more power than ever.
Jun 22, 2013
Jun 22, 2013 at 12:54 AM UTC
Sometimes I get sad
and go to a dark place
It's rough there
it's dark there
My saddness in uncontrollable
I don't know where it's from
I'm crying for someone's help
begging to get out
I once beleived that God
could get me through
But I feel to far away
where he can't see me
The light is not around
so bury me in the ground
I want out of this hell
God, help me
I will bleed
until I die
Cut into the skin
that isn't mine
The truth is
I'll never escape
The truth is
I'll never be saved
I've done too much wrong
and I don't belong
Heaven's a beautiful place
I can see it
When I close my eyes
I float off
It's a place with good
there is no fear or pain
But when I awake
reality sets in
I'm dead now
there's no life left
I've got to accept that
get comfortable
My life is not mine
but I have control
I've made too many mistakes
and I won't be saved.
May 7, 2014
May 7, 2014 at 8:58 AM UTC
There was happieness,
then
everything changed.
It
beat
the kid.
The lonely kid
wanderd into
a mindest,
desperate for it to stop.
The kid did what it said,
and
he cut every day.
He could
not
stop.
He beleived he couldn't.
He eventually died.
Depression finally beat him.
He has always struggled.
or
He has always struggled.
Depression finally beat him.
He eventually died.
He believed he couldn't
stop,
not
he could.
He cut every day,
and
the kid did what it said.
Desperate for it to stop,
a mindest
wanderd into
the lonely kid.
The kid
beat
it.
Everything changed.
Then,
there was happieness.
Jun 21, 2014
Jun 21, 2014 at 11:42 PM UTC
Everytime it is morning,
We wake up to her demanding,
While we slept she was running,
With the awakened some.
Isn't that what we are hearing?
Her lovely voice keeps on calling,
It says son swim the ocean,
You must overcome.
Do you believe in you?
My aquainted friend.
No one else makes a difference,
Play attack or play defense,
Sleep back or you commence,
It depends on you.
You've got pain and I've got pain too,
Don't let your emotions control you,
And the shame deny you,
The thing you should do.
You should believe in you,
My aquainted friend.
Many stars will be rising,
Many stars will be watching,
Will you still be in hiding?
Its still up to you.
There is always the rejection,
That could influence your decision,
You might never see provision,
Hold that which is true.
I wish you beleived in you,
My aquainted friend.
The tides will keep rising,
Could be winning or be drowning,
Or on deck and keep dreaming,
I will live on.
Tomorrow it might be over,
You may never really discover,
Not today maybe never,
The rising sun.
You don't believe in you,
This is your end.
Jan 31, 2020
Jan 31, 2020 at 3:21 PM UTC