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Flashback

One day when I was younger,
I was asked what I wanted to be,
When I grew up;
By my mother.

I said:
'When I grow up mummy,
I want to be a beautician!'

She said:
'Well munchkin,
Why do you want to be a beautician?'

I replied:
'Mummy?
Isn't it obvious??'

Mummy asked quizzically:
'No, honey,
What's obvious'

'Mummy, I want to be a beautician,
So I can help people,
Make them look beautiful.
Even if I'm not and no one will love me,
I still want other people to be beautiful and happy.' I said in a 'duh' tone of voice.

'Baby daddy loves you and-' she started but I cut her off.

'No mummy! He thinks that I'm ugly and useless! I heard  him on the phone! Mummy I know he left because of me!' I started sobbing.

'No baby, you aren't useless and ugly. I will always be here for you and I will always love you. Daddy was just so stupid he doesn't know what he's talking about.' She coed.

I started to calm down but made her promise 'Mummy will you promise me something please?'

'Sure bubba, whatever you want.' She said calmly.

'Mummy, will you pinky promise me that you will always love me and never leave me?' I asked, suddenly nervous.

'Of course I will baby. I will never ever leave you!'  She then took my pinky and promised. *

*2 years later

I sat in my room sobbing. How was I supposed to look after my brother and me by myself?

She broke her promise * was the only thought running through my mind.

She left me and my brother to fend for ourselves. No mother. No father.

She left us for another man.

One I now hated.

She left us for God.

She was ...

* dead
Long To Sail Jan 2014
Would you judge me?
Do y'know i wont judge you?
Can I be anything I want to be?
Or are there rules I have to conform to?

Spaceman cowboy hippie gangster stoner rockstar chef painter poet
playwright carpenter inventor scientist mathematician author actor
gardener tailor sailor musician comedian doctor pilot barista volunteer
partyplanner spiritualist director engineer psychologist beautician

Please do forgive me but there's more.
I'm greedy, I know, I want it all.
Immense experiences galore.
Money to me means null.
Micheal Wolf Mar 2013
A subtle shade of orange
Sprayed on to darken porcelain skin
Eyes heavy, the weight of false lashes
Hair an explosion of colours
Nails patterned in a cornucopia of designs
You learn your craft, try all its treatments
A student in the art of cover up
Makeup in layer upon layer
Yet you need none of this
The vogue of female presentation
It's trappings have captured you
So many become dependant
Like a drug
Habitual a ritual
Made up, made over
I wonder what the real you looks like
i

Then must I always bear your endless accusations?
They all prove false, but still I have to fight them.
If I happen to glance at the marble theater's topmost row,
you pick some girl in the crowd to moan about;
or if a beautiful woman looks at me wordlessly,
you charge she's using lovers' wordless signs.
If I compliment a girl, you try to tear out my hair;
if I criticize one, you think I've got something to hide.
If I look well, I love no one - not even you;
if I'm pale, you say that I'm pining for someone else.
I wish I really had committed some such sin:
punishment hurts less when you deserve it;
but as it is, your wild indictments at every turn
themselves forbid your wrath to have much weight.
Think of the little long-eared donkey's wretched lot:
continual beatings only make him stubborn.
Now look, here's another charge: Cypassis, your coiffeuse,
is cast at me for defiling her mistress's bed!
The gods forbid that I, even if I yearned to sin,
should find delight in a slave-girl's lowly lot!
What man, being free, would want a servile liaison,
or wish to embrace a body the whip has scarred?
And furthermore, the girl's your personal beautician,
and valued by you because of her skillful hands.
Is it likely that I'd approach such a trusted serving-maid?
What would I get, but rejection and exposure?
By Venus and by the bow of her swift boy I swear,
you'll never find me guilty of that crime.

ii

Cypassis, expert at dressing the hair in a thousand ways
(but you ought to arrange the tresses of goddesses only)
you that I've found quite polished in stolen ecstasy,
fit for your mistress's service, but fitter for mine,
whoever was it that told of our bodies joining together?
Where did Corinna learn of our affair?
Could I have blushed? Or slipped by a single word to give
some sign that has betrayed our furtive joys?
And what of it, if I argued that nobody could transgress
with a servant, except for a man who was out of his mind
The Thessalian burned with passion for lovely Briseis, a servant;
the Mycenean leader loved Apollo's slave.
I'm no greater man than Achilles, or the scion of Tantalus.
How can what's fine for kings be foul for me?
And yet, when your mistress turned her glowering eyes on you,
I saw a deep blush spread all over your face.
But how much more possessed I was, if you recall,
I swore my faith by Venus's great godhead!
(You, goddess, bid, I pray, the warm Southwind to blow
those innocent lies across the Carpathian sea.)
Now give me a sweet return for the favor I did you then,
by bedding with me, you dusky Cypassis, today.
Don't shake your head, you ingrate, pretending you're still afraid:
you can please one of your masters, and that's enough.
If you're silly enough to refuse, I'll confess all that we've done,
making myself the betrayer of my own crime,
and I'll tell your mistress how often we met, Cypassis, and where,
and how many times we did it, and how many ways!
Magnetizing physics
Magnetic chemistry
Precise mathematics
Bubbling biology
Histrionic history
Attired economics
Refined fine arts
Electrifying looks
Electronic vision
Scintillating psychology
Ventilating physiology
Tantalizing mechanics
Tranquilizing metabolism
Dynamic damsel
Oh! What a scientific disposition?
Kudos to the Big-Bang Beautician.
when ****
day afternoon
was really
something to
behold in
Nashville with
catastrophic notes
that mother
backs another
day and
timbre her
fortune with
a dainty
song and
hence wake
in market
of blues
Magnetising physics
Magnetic chemistry
Precise mathematics
Bubbling biology
Histrionic history
Attired economics
Refined fine arts
Electrifying looks
Electronic vision
Scintillating psychology
Ventilating physiology
Tantalizing mechanics
Tranquilizing metabolism
Dynamic damsel
Oh! What a scientific disposition?
Kudos to the Big-Bang Beautician.
abyssinia Jun 2015
her smile is his everything
it is his strength
when she smiles...
she makes everything bright
especially his world
the world that they both share
whenever she sees pain in his eyes
she shares with him her tears
and whenever she see joy in his eyes
she then shares her beautiful smile
when ever she loses her smile
no beautician can bring it back
but he can....
because he has the key to her world
David Barr Apr 2014
Bohemian dichotomies are like winding garden paths, where foxgloves and lupins stand proudly with a rich array of botanical flamboyance.
What is the structure of this pervasive uncertainty, where conspiracy is a perpetual construct which is designed to interfere with anthropological cohesion?
Consider the presence of a mature apple tree, where doves abide in ornithological matrimony.
Let us humbly acknowledge that nature is a powerful beautician, who expels her adversities with gentle ruthlessness.
Let us kiss together amidst this romantic pasture of nostalgic permission.
John F McCullagh Jun 2013
Nothing in life
was as sweet as your kiss.
So soft, so yielding, so fine.
Nothing so warm as your
cherry chapped lips.
That I savored when,
once, you were mine.

I paid my respects
at Your wake yesterday.
The morticians are good at their art.
You, sleeping princess, beautiful still,
through the decades that we've been apart

Except for your lips
which so oft I had kissed;
The beautician left them
grim tight and dry.
Both of us know they were
nothing like that.
That's when I let myself cry.
Paying my last respects to a former love.
Peroxide halo,
with heaven's noble ladder
propped up lazily
against nylon stockings,
(stretching to God knows where...)
doubt sanctuary lies
'neath her frou frou
scarlet skirts,
bleached remnants
(urgent disguises for many a walk
down red carpet's alley)
unashamedly worn
like badges of honour
polished for this
make-believe
beautician's début!
Synthesis Jul 2014
I  have always wanted to write
I used to want to right wrongs
Right injustices
And indecencies
And if to right i'd have to write
I'd write laws
Now I all I want to do is write songs
Write poems
And write stories
Write melodies
Write memories
My homie's a composer they'd help me write symphony
And i'd put Andre on the tuba
And Tineye on the timphony
And bobby on the saxaphone
and when the concert gets broadcast live and televised
i'd dedicate it to the beautiful dreamers back at home
The small time artist and musicians
The one guy who decided he loved to see women smile so much wanted to be a beautician
To anyone who's parents said there no money in art
There's  no money in misery so I'm begging you please follow your heart
Because the worlds fighters keep it strong
And the scholars keep it smart
But it's the visionaries that keep all together and not Falling  apart
anna Mar 2014
this is a portrait of a painter painting  a duck,
and as an honest man, i must disclaim
i am no painter, no wordsmith, not even a back-alley beautician
or smoker drawing letters in the air.
i'm a man, a not short nor tall nor distinctive in any other way
utterly invisible. however, as an honest man, i need to say
you are the sole, indescribable, incredible wonder of this park.


you're tall, i think, slim like the long-stemmed brushes you balance between your fingers,
and i think i hear you sing
as you paint that duck, that undistinctive, ordinary,
incredibly lucky duck.
i don't think it knows how lucky it is to have your gaze,
to be captured, immortalized, in your clever fingers.
it quacks off-beat and without thought, and i think,
"for shame, duck, bad on you"
because even someone as naturally invisible as me
knows when to appreciate a spotlight.
to be continued, probably :)
Anna Mink Feb 2021
This mannequin is freer than me
I’m treed to taxes and age
She stands beautiful and pale beyond the beautician’s windowdoor
Glass cannot hinder one’s sight
A primrose crown my daughter made for her naked head now wilts
Still she is unaffected by life, the stoic Apolinaria

~ A.M, F.H.
Edited & Published 21st of February 2021.
Written 21st of January 2021.
Natalia mushara Jun 2015
High helped heels today for taller look?
Uh uh
I'm already tall
Fingernail polish fo fingers today?
Nope
Already a beautician
Makeup
Why?
This skin factories make makeup out of
Just happy being who I was made to be.
Sk Abdul Aziz Nov 2015
'Love is the only bug she hadn't caught and now she has fallen to it.'

'Well nobody is immune to it...you know, love is a great beautician.'

-Amelie
spittin' shells from my clip
leave my enemies exposed
either naked or clothed
ot dont matter as long as the bullet holes
cuttin ya breath short
smoke a new port
play these ******* like a sport
muthaphukkaz try to leach on
then get they preach on
when ya wrong
but i say **** it i christen the **** cheech n chong
what the hell.is going on?
******* more crooked than politician
***** go see the beautician
ugly *** ***** keep wishin
thought ya had me trap
til ya seen my straps
then we put them ****** in dirt naps
i hate ****** but love my brothers from another mother
slick as ever no need to be undercover
im wide in the open hopin
they take me for a joke and
so the pistol comes sneaky
and smoking body chokin as ya blood begin soakin
up the concrete grounded with my feet then repeat
to all my enemies this is ya warning before be in eternal sleep peep when i creep
i see my foes ahead before they plot
i already got em shot and dead
so dont be that muthaphukka assed out passed out
as i position my mount
still knockin my enemies out
when I ride


since i was born a ****
ill die a **** in a puddle of blood from a slug
no tears in my eyes
as i soul search the sky realize
this aint **** for me
i seen my enemies
like.jesus to judas i got that buddha
talkin to a brother im.hellbound
trapped inside of satan cell now
hear me now and loud
puff my cloud before i take my last breath
then ill.die in honor
stand next to the father
a black man with dreads and armor of gold breasted plates make demons heart ache ya cant shake
my flame once i ignite
i burn all you ******* on sight
im like the purge fools all die in one night braille ya sight
thought ya can cease me
believe what the **** would
u do if ya seen ya enemies approachin slowly .....
ride on em uhhhh



look into the eyes of madman
half dead man
walking around lookin astound
faced with death for eternally hell is where ya find me
no insanity pleas
lord forgive me
for i know not what i do
so i gotta do what i gotta do
since i was exposed to sin
colorful visions from the sip of gin
**** im going in like the wind
coming in through cracks of door hinge no pretend
my **** real stay poppin' my steel
make it my enemies last meal
as they squeal
like pigs this aint no ****** gig ya dig
im coming with wrath of the father
***** ****** still gettin slaughtered
as i ride.....
Ivan Brooks Sr Mar 2020
I don't vocalize
I'm not a musician.
I don't embalm
I'm not a mortician.
I don't make objects
disappear in thin air,
I'm not a magician.
I don't flip numbers,
I'm not a mathematician.
I don't heal patients,
I'm not a physician.
I don't tell funny jokes
I'm not a comedian.
I don't do hair or makeup,
I'm not a beautician.
I can't run for public office
I am not a politician.

I was born to flip
Letters into words.
I can write a lovely script
Shiny like samurai swords
I can bring smiles to faces,
Via a beautiful love story.
I can take your mind to places,
Using the magic of poetry.
I can make the sun to shine,
In a dimly lit corridor.
My words will outlive time,
Like the soul of a gladiator.
I can morph into a genius,
By the stroke of my humble pen.
The nectar of my ink is gracious
Always doing the best it can.

#IvanBrookspoetry©
@Bassap©et✍
The truth is all that I know...this is the truth!
Ana Habib Nov 2020
It is after midnight
I am not even tired
I should be thinking about you
if you are alright
if your coming home tonight
or spending another night with that ******
yes I know about her
I have known for some time now
the cleaning lady didn't tell me this
the butler did not mention this
the cook did not tiptoe about this
the beautician hummed and hawed about this
my trainer might have mentioned something when he was on top of me
spotting!
A tall thing with a grecian nose and red curls
boxed dye i am sure
blue eyes a dab of lipstick and a lot of beauty-marks
she looks alright in my clothes
I know you stole my perfume and pearls
but what where you trying to do
class up a ******?
honey that is what she does for a living
law school is not cheap
cost me about 500 that night
we met at one of those hotels
I was only there for drinks when she came over
we talked we laughed had our nails and faces done
a sweet girl but what she sees in you I will never know
I still don't see it for myself
it is going to be 15 years soon
well I am not going to try your phone
or the car phone
you probably ate too
so I guess all there is left to do now
is change into that baby blue peignoir you bought for her
and take this tray up
indulge in chocolate caramel cheesecake
toffee ice cream and sauvignon blanc
should not keep Antoine waiting for too long
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2017
i guess we get it from the hebrews,
as the stereotype goes -

i don't know how it happened -
i had a student bank account,
long after i graduated -
what is a student bank account?

2000 quid over-draft limit: interest free!
funny, isn't it?
i had that way past the expiry date,
i'd say way over fives years...

and i was titilating the -2000 quid
over a few months...
evidently some genius at the bank
noticed this, and said:
no no, you've have your little
student honemoon, time's up!

so i gets me a letter and says they'll
be reducing my expiry date to
500 quid below par -

    at nearly -2000 quid in my account,
what? what else?! panic...
so i calls them up and say:
look... i can get on the + scale,
i just need more time,
     i can't do it within your stated
authority...
nice lady, great conversation,
so she goes through the routine
questions...
   mobile phone? no.
  car? no.
    mortgage? no.
   how much do you spend on
luxury goods?
     em... i have all the "luxury" goods
i might ever need,
  take a philosophy book...
sometimes you find one that can last
you 2 ****** years to digest...

that's like picking pennies off
the pavement...

and, luckily, she said:
we'll reduce the overdraft limit by
200 pounds per month...
    last time i remember i hovered
above 800+ quid in my bank account...

obviously i have *******-of-a-drinking
habbit...
       but like now...
   i'm drinking, and tomorrow?
  i'll be drinking...
      and only in western europe is this
stigma of living with your parents...
look... mate... come here:
    jean-paul sartre (the nobel living
author for the novel nausea)?
he lived with his mother,
   had a ****-of-a-girlfriend and ******
university students...
plus he was cross-eyed...
    to ever think that i.v.f. and test-tube
babies pander this "non-existent"
disciplinary commune of "dear brothers
& sisters"....
   the current pupeteer in poland,
this pan kaczka? lives with his mummy...
he's not the president, he's not
the prime-minister... but he's playing
the one joker card in politics:
  he's probably 2 inches shorter than napoleon,
ugly as a ******* touristee mug
with the houses of parliament on it,
or a i (heart) london... whatever...
point being: he's playing the last remaming
card, it's not a joker card...
   it's the entry point of the last remaining
card: the schadenfreude card...
sorry... but this card does come into play
after certain limits are breached,
               but that's hopw ontology works.

i still remember that joke told by my glaswegian
english teacher (imagine
learning english from a pict) -
how was copper-wire invented?
               two scots arguing over a penny.

still... how i managed to get from a -2000 quid
dept and into the +, how did i manage
to ease the blow by allowing a gradual deflation
of the overdraft limit by charming
the bank lady...
      i do have to admit, one little
noughty secret... i found myself wake-akin
*****, i walked into my bank and talked
to the manager: i need you to increase my
overdraft limit, my great-grandmother has died
and i need enough money for travel expenses...

what really happened?
         oh... you know... 3 hours in a brothel...
10 quid entry, one-hundred-and-ten quid an hour...
and the perfume of bourbon everywhere...
   what?! sometimes a man has to do something
about his libido trapped in a strait-jacket...
girls don't mind...
                   i just kept minding that they
were bulgarian, and lied about being romanian
as if to imply that romanian girls
better outsource bulgarian girls in the trade...

      so this is me thinking:
you really want to argue "feminism"?
                go to a *******, see what she thinks,
namely? feminists abhor her trade,
they want to liberate them!
        the girls? far **** away from being liberated...
thrill ***... i heard one story of a friend
of her's being killed by a pundit...
      russian roulette they call it, i guess...
then this other ******* telling me:
oh, personally? i think that every woman should
try prostitution for a while...
   what's that beautician's word? poly...
                               poly-amorous?
oh hell... looks pretty...
                         does it feel "pretty" in practice?
not really...
                      there are really two
great dissatisfactions in the realm of prostitution:
1. not giving a man an ****** after
   one 1 of working the piston (sorry,
imagery and *** are always crass and laughable)
and (this will shock you)
2. actually receiving an ****** on the job...
oh boy, no. 2 is horrifying to them....
   it's not the job that debases the *******:
   it's an ****** with a pundit!
an ****** with client is probably as bad
as being ****** with an egg-beater,
          or an elephants trunk, or a horn of a rhino...
sorry... but that's how it's written...

+ lucky me, she just sighed an "ouch" -
   and said: you're only the second -
          and so out went my ***** envy:
    anyway, i was always more envious of beards;
taking notes in a sikh temple.

yeah... -2000 under par, and still i managed
to wriggle out...
      i swear one of my ancestors was
either jewish or scottish...
      smooches for that lady in the bank
that allowed me a gradual decrease in my
interest free overdraft limit.
Jude kyrie Jul 2018
HE WAS TOO YOUNG TO KNOW..a short romantic love story by Jude writing as a woman

I know I still look good, for my age that is.
thank you, my fitness trainer,
My  beautician
and eating salad until my nose twitched.

At my age I should have known better.
But he was so beautiful, so ****** lovely.
But, he was way too young for me.25 at most.
I should have just walked away
But God is not so kind to divorced women
on the red side of forty with a
lot of disillusionment
about modern urban life.
My husband cheated on me
with his young secretary.
Tell me you haven't
heard that before.

I met him at a family get together.
a BBQ with awful food
and cheap wine.
it was his youth I think
it glowed like freedom.
So full of life it touched me deeply.
All the emotions he was to feel
All  yet to happen for him.
Not all jaded like mine
that had already been
and faded away

He dumped his girlfriend
when he saw me.
I don't for the life of me know why.
She was pretty and perky
and so very young.
Fresh and open.
not like me at all.
No not like me.

He caught me looking at him
but I did not release my gaze.
That was cruel, he was a just a boy.
I found out later he was Twenty two.
He gave me all that I needed at that time.
All the things my rat ******* husband
had never given to me.
His honesty
his newness
his youth ,
his energy.

I admit I used him for his beauty
and for the bright  life he was.
Life that shone from him like a beacon.
But what I did not know
Was that I was falling in love with him.

He undressed me with his eyes and smile.
I could not wait to undress for him.
To have me anyway he wanted.

My dear mother always so wise.
Said let him go honey,
it will end badly.
But I didn't.

He moved in to my urban nest.
The few hundred square feet
of New York, that was all mine
where the outside world ended.
And I kept it locked out.

After a while
I was miffed
he did not have a job like I did.
That he sat around playing
Playstation all day.

But then he kissed me
and say I love you baby.
and I melted for him.
And my clothes
fell to the floor again.

One day...
I got real angry
when he was drinking beer
with his rude friends
in my apartment.
When I got home from a hard day at work.
and I threw him out.

I told him he was never going to be what
I needed, he was too young.
He moved into his buddy's place.
And called me ten times a night.

Then I saw him again
it was in the local deli.
I moved a can of caviar
From the separating shelf
To see him again.
and he was buying steaks
on the other side.

I took him home to my place
undressed as usual for him.
He would not wear his ******.
He said I want you to have our baby.
I froze like a deer in the headlights.
I wish he had just ****** me.

All of a sudden.
I saw his vulnerability.
I saw what I was doing to Him.
I saw his youth and his inexperience.
He was just a baby.
and I was playing with him.

I knew I was a honey trap for him.
A trap I could not set.
A trap that was now going
to break my heart.

So I opened the cage leaving
the door wide open.
And he flew out, into
the wild rarified air of life
above the mountains.
Free of me at last.

I saw him again about a year later.
I was drinking wine
at my favorite bistro with a group
of my old friends.

It was near the holidays
The cold new York frost
had formed on the window.
His breath melted a small section.
as he looked inside
our eyes met.
And they burned a hole in my heart,
He waved to me as he
flashed his beautiful smile.

I caught my breath and
my heart beat so quickly..
I wanted to run in the street
and hold him like a baby.
To say its alright honey
come on home.
But then he turned
And walked away
into the icy winter cold
of the old city

He had a young woman
on his arm.
They looked so right
so good together.
I felt the tears forming in my eyes.
I knew I was back to the bottom step
of the 12 step program for broken hearts.

I think now it's likely
That I will never get over him.
I still dance the choreographed
movements of love.
With other imposters.

But when the night falls
And the twilight
is swallowed by the darkness.
The aching starts in my heart.
And I know it is the price I must pay.
For my sins.
WE DONT ALWAYS GET WHAT WE WANT
THE ROLLING STONES
JUDE
The things that she (the beautician) could do
with curlers would make your hair curl.

I'll make you happy each day and twice on Tuesday.
I want to throw up in your parking spot.

And yet you remain steadfastly committed to harlotry.

It's a lovely photo, I'm wearing it in a locket around
my neck like I would a picture of Mr. Shunderson.
despite entrenched familiar
obsessive compulsive disorder behavior
distracting me courtesy
countless what if scenarios,
particularly before undergoing
voluntary drastic makeover
as iterated in a previous poem,
and briefly recounted here
as foregoing Samson personification
now please don't blame Delilah!

Once the decision made
(two weeks ago
September twenty fifth
two thousand and twenty four)
to finally liberate yours truly (me)
(cue the following
Jean Jacques Rousseau quote)
"Man is born free but everywhere is in chains"
accommodating torture chamber
ala complex edifice,
(albeit invisible) *******

as tangible substitution
for undersized male member
(Sigmund Freud would be smiling)
heavily weighing down mine psyche
from harried styled
uncombed/unbrushed hair
evoking an immediate
message of nonconformity,
at last fixation nipped in the bud
immediately after beautician
rubber banded and scissored

hirsute trademark feature, a characteristic
larded with immense security
unequivocally not only
constituting a major emotional sink,
(but additionally posing environmental danger
as a potential superfund site)
long overdue for cleanup
hyperbole incorporated
to jump/kick start courtesy
tipping figurative hat
to faux generative artificial intelligence,

which amazingly
immediately delivered segway
vis-à-vis refreshing lightness of being
after bird's nest gratefully shucked off
loosed a horde
of dreadlocked exhausting fretfulness
(in addition to a rash of undiscovered biota)
linkedin to catastrophization,
whether the water
would unexpectedly cease flowing
while richly shampooing shock

of prized tangled mane,
or the electricity
would suddenly witness a power outage
disallowing the hair dryer to function
such irrational worries
(despite the unlikelihood
of either unexpected
inconvenience to occur),
nevertheless quite tiresome
sustaining outrageous thought patterns
exacerbated anxiety buzzfeeding

like nattering nabobs of nativity
and undermining peace of mind
when week after week, month after month
finally brought to a screeching halt
such debilitating mental exertion
suddenly ushering deliverance
videre licet a lightness of being,
and immediately allowed,
enabled and provided much
sought after psychological relief
likened to a gust of fresh air,

I vouchsafed to myself and the missus
to abide by much easier to manage
more fashionable impression,
thus swiftly tailored relief arose
once bedraggled unkempt ratty
and infrequently unwashed coiffure
shucked off once and for all,
no matter such drastic similar
transformations of appearance
peppered the life and times
of one long haired pencil necked geek,

whereat hands of time
would elapse bajillion times
inadvertently drawing unwanted attention
to out of vogue nineteen sixties hippy doo
invariable readopted as security blanket
to stave off
uncomfortable risks
foisting interpersonal experiences
upon head and shoulders
of deplorable basket case
unwittingly referenced from Hillary Clinton.
exuding suave debonair air
plus head and shoulders taller
(than the empire state building -
hey what's a little hyperbole, eh?)
since September eleventh
two thousand and twenty four,
which date marked a major change
(yes folks - more important
than getting married)

during threescore and two years
incorporating mein kampf
voluntarily (and without bribery,
but with liberty and justice for all)
to maintain a scheduled appointment
at Salon Nova,
an upscale hair cutting/styling boutique
located at 377 W Ridge Pike A,
Limerick, Pennsylvania 19468.

This recently unkempt
aging married sexagenarian
and solitudinarian sultan of swing
long haired pencil neck geek
self adopted behavior modification
particularly regarding maintaining
personal hygiene of mine
woke as if from somnambulant state
and kept promise to himself.

About twelve inches of brown tresses
got cut off courtesy in a small number
of fell swoops videre licet,
whereby the beautician
amazingly gracefully brandished scissors and brush
immediately creating lightness of being
which locks of brunette strands
tinged with gray
got donated to a charity
that repurposes hair

into wigs for various
and sundry purposes,
thus empowered
to contribute a part of myself
that will grow back -
(yet... I WILL NOT GO BACK
thank you Kamala Harris for birthing phrase
TO PRESENTING SLOVENLY APPEARANCE)
in gentle waves
cascading down to my knees
as happened umpteen times

during mein kampf,
the first instance
of revolutionary physical transformation
occurred when yours truly
a mere stripling of a pubescent teen
receiving psychiatric treatment
from Ted Goldberg,
(who prescribed both mellaril and elavil),
and he patiently nursed psyche of mine
severely afflicted with anorexia nervosa

in tandem with
obsessive compulsive disorder
tied with exaggerated fixation with hair,
which characteristic donning my noggin
became the most important reason for living,
I would sooner have died than get a haircut,
(spoiler alert, I did not die nor **** myself),
yet interestingly enough
he accompanied me
to a local barber in Collegeville,

who did the deed done dirt cheap,
yet I invariably returned to being
a long haired pencil neck geek
plodding along the boulevard of broken dreams,
where according to Fiona Apple
The Idler Wheel Is Wiser
Than the Driver of the *****
and Whipping Cords Will Serve You
More Than Ropes Will Ever Do.

All kidding aside,
said voluntary makeover undertaken
cause unnecessary emotional energy
and quite a chunk of time
invested lavishly shampooing hirsute pate,
and subsequently applying blow dryer
to fluff up ample mane,
that gnarly retched ma tailbone - ha!

Another significant reason
spurring long overdue decision
to present a handsome chap,
albeit modesty prevents excessive
self adulation, ******* (not premature),
ego inflation, amplitude
and attitude modulation of same
to disallow being snickered at
as if I happen to be from Mars.

Sorry keeping a figurative straight face
impossible mission for this word punster,
jokester, and grandmaster without a super plan.

Yours truly (me) made long overdue transition
from schlep to mensch
Alternately titled: Last of the fluff
belonging to a Mohican
Norwegian bachelor farmer wannabe.

Any resemblance between said unnamed individual
and living persons purely coincidental

Scads of decades back in the day,
not since this sexagenarian baby boomer
happened to be approximately
three and a half decades deep,
into his freshman year at college,
the word haircut
just re:entered his vocabulary
at the expense of unfairly
subjecting innocent bystanders
slipping and sliding along oil slicks

dripping off the bedraggled
locks of mein haar
(veritable strangers in a strange land -
plus medical practitioners such as:
optometrist, otolaryngologists, internists, et cetera)
wore latex gloves when their hands
forced to make contact
with living and breathing biohazard
namely videre licet
greasy critter infested hair

(essentially a near microscopic ecosystem -)
thriving amidst primordial ooze property of one
long haired pencil necked geek,
who rode into the quaint town
(that time forgot
and the years could not improve)
******* his trusty horse
at Salon Nova LLC
377 W Ridge Pike A, Limerick, PA 19468.

Upon entering aforementioned
beautician promoting being pampered establishment
out there on the prairie
immediately spelled home companion,
yours truly (me) received
a warm welcome
from Jessamine McKeown.

I unhesitatingly, gingerly, and excitedly
sat in the comfortable barber chair,
and let the technician
affix the plastic drape
after which she brushed
my somewhat tangled hair,
(vowing not to wince),
cuz I bristled with some discomfort
since straggly, ratty,
nippy, nap, noopy,
drippy, drap droopy,

limp locks of time
rarely saw the teeth of a comb
cuz yours truly became
negligent regarding grooming,
which absent attention to self
fell by the wayside
around middle school age
after my mother
forced me to take a bath
no matter the time

fast approaching bewitching hour,
and yours truly (me) vowed
on a stack of Revised English Version
of the Bible translated
from a biblical Unitarian perspective
to neglect hygiene - think
passive aggressive behaviour,
which did stand me in good stead,
when in the midst of fellow Neanderthals
within the realm of the twilight zone
signaling the outer limits

of proto **** sapiens civilizations
where dark shadows linkedin
to the allegory of the caves
far from the madding crowd
unsuspecting tribal simians
guffawing at a photograph
taken early/mid July of ninety ninety six,
which did recaptcha
for an ephemeral timeless moment,
a youthful shirtless young man

a proud grown boy
revealing his hairless washboard stomach
smiling without a care in the world
and counting himself
the luckiest guy in the webbed wide world,
cuz a beautiful babe would become
the mother of his firstborn
about five months thence
unknowingly imposing the impetus
of impending selfless responsibilities
necessary to quell unhappy infant.

Offtimes our bundle of joy inconsolable
and presented an impossible mission to pacify,
exhausting both of us birth parents
and interestingly enough
an unexpected turn of events
can be iterated in retrospect
of my life and hard times,
whereby the author of these words
(and proud papa of either daughter,
one youngest offspring

necessitated receiving modified
Individualized Education Program (IEP),
attributed to developmental (cognitive) delays,
whereas the eldest gifted
as exceptionally intelligent progeny
and a potential candidate for Mensa
so different from yours truly (me),
who foundered at various crossroads of his life,
ever since day one
and felt like veritable pariah,

not necessarily being called enfant terrible
nor ragamuffin to his face
but transition from boyhood to puberty
triggered quiet protestations
to comply with established standards
mainly concerning cleanliness
once riot of hormones unleashed
an emotional tsunami
attendant with secretion of body odor
atavistic characteristics to attract a mate.
Michael John Oct 6
when young lily
i liked women hairy
you know, natural..

and painted faces superfluous
made dull
the sun as  beautician unsurpassed..

their skin of lemon and brine
the little lines around
their eyes..

blues as the sea and sky
the rasp of the evening tide
the evening to come..

— The End —