Here's to crying in the shower pretending you're okay.
Here's to holding it all together when you wanna throw it all away.
Here's to wasting nights thinking till 4am instead of going out with that girl.
Here's to breaking even though you know you shouldn't.
Here's to living when you want to die.
--
That day felt like your funeral.
That day felt like a poet trying to capture the perfect sunset when they couldn't fathom the right words.
That day felt like a teenager driving alone for the first time in Atlanta.
That day felt like your first heartbreak over and over.
That day felt like hell.
--
And I had to hold my breath when we drove by your road.
I had to smile when she said your name.
I had to laugh when I wanted so badly to cry.
I had to close my eyes and breathe when I wanted so badly to end it.
I had to move on when I wanted so badly to stay..
I had to, because if I didn't, neither would you..

She Buried
Her Ears
Into The Calm
Of His Heartbeat,
And In A Matter Of Seconds;
Fell Terribly In Love..
With The Way
Her Loneliness Fell. . .
Softly And Suddenly ,
Asleep,
In His Chest . .

Whatever happened to that young starry-eyed anarchist in the black suit, with flowing brown curls, eagerly waiting for life to unfurl.

Through you he was replaced by a teary eyed fascist,
carrying a gnarled stave,
silently waiting for the grave.

You were the greatest catalyst, and the strongest of poisons. Now your name is on my list, of betrayers and blasphemers.

and I didn't want to
fall for you
because falling only leads to
scraped knees and
****** bandages

but I enjoyed the beautiful
sunrises that appeared on my
legs and hands
and I kept begging for more
forbidden pain until I was
numb to you

but the amount of scars left on my
canvas of a body today couldn't
add up to the regret I
felt for not having
fallen
hard
enough.