Today, the sun exploded.
With a fiery gasp, it let its last,
The sun exploded.
And in a picturesque moment for a micro second, nobody knew.
People left for work, and were angry about the wrong kind of milk in their latte's because nobody knew that the sun exploded.
For a brief time things were okay
Because nobody knew this was the last day
Before the sun exploded.

This tightness in my chest,
It coencides with a darkness in my mind that only comes and around every once in a while,
And while those whiles seem more frequent then they used too I still don't understand why anxiety exists.
For the most part, everything has a scientific purpose.
Depression is your bodies way of telling you you're not okay,
And that if you're not your brain chemistry is really ****** up and you should probably get that checked out.
But what the HELL does anxiety have to say that I haven't heard before.
I know I'm ugly, I know I'm cold, I know this is going to be hard, most things worth doing usually are so what kind of evolutionary purpose does anxiety serve?
Or are we defective?
Am I broken?
I don't wish to feel this way I just wonder about the fabric of nothing sometimes, and I don't breath.
I don't think anyone would wish to feel this way, we just wonder about each other sometimes and don't see.

So if poetry is a riddle, is love the key?

Do we subtract sadness?

Take away fear?

What about pain?

In this equation who gains?

Life's a never ending circle of questioning what comes next,

And I'm not sure

Because I've felt a feeling I can't quite keep a hold of,

And it slips from my fingers just as it slips from my mind

And in this crawlspace inside my head I've decided, that we're better off alive.

Despite the pain that grows,

The anger that flows through our veins I still believe that we are at the very least,

Human.

And that is a thing in and of itself, to be able to say that today, I am and therefor will be and therefore always will be because I believe it to be such,

And tomorrow, I think I'll love.

And maybe I'll find a reason to cry,

Or a reason to yell or a reason to scream or day dream.

And maybe, I'll write poetry,

A symphony of constructed thought like I was born into a world where nothing else matters,

And maybe you can too,

Maybe you can believe in things that break you,

Like the things that don't **** me make me strong

The things that I do wrong today I won't do wrong tomorrow,

I hope

And nobody is perfect, and nobody should try to be

But with a language as fluid, and universal as feeling?

Why restrict it to the grandest of all?

Let's get down to brass tacks,

The nitty gritty, let's find the dark spots so that the bright ones seem brighter

Let's fill the room with ***** things so that you don't worry so much about what's under your fingernails.

Let's find out how beautiful beauty can be but first, a little perspective

Let's live through these hard times so we know how much better things can get

Let's find out how many feelings you can feel in just a few short years,

Let's become the people we always dreamt of being, and true change seems to stem only from tragedy,

But let's embrace them,

Because all of these things?

Are what makes you, you.

I fear a great many things,
None so severe as the feeling itself.

But it's a self fulfilling circle of hating myself more then I did yesterday,

And I can't tell if it's anxiety or courage that makes me stay away from any and all who I could bother with my misplaced stumbling and mumbling through what others call conversation.

I never know how long to pause or how long I'm aloud to gather my thoughts,

And words are hard, In the spoken sense because with nearly everyone I meet there's a sense of urgency.

Like we're the last two people in the world and they have somewhere more important to be,
So I let them.

If they want to rush through the vast cosmos of thought then I let them,
I let them walk by and I don't say a word because words are hard
And I'd rather spend time with the abstract concepts that tear like a twister through my mind as if being painfully real and a pleasant fairy tale at the very same time.

And this isn't a puff peace to make you feel something like this person I am is someone to be pittied or looked down on.

Words are hard because I don't quite see the point,

Talk is cheap, it can be found anywhere, it spills from our lips like liquid fools gold,

I'm no fool.

And it's about that time of year and time of day where my mind is a place to stay away from
Stear clear of it when you see me on the sidewalk and cross the street to avoid me like I exude the fear I feel inside
What if I can't make it to tomorrow because tomorrow never comes
What if all this false confidence I claim fades away to show my true face and I'm terrified
That I can't love quite right because my love comes from inside and my insides are turned inside out with how I feel right now
And it's the moments where I'm laying in bed and staring at the constant cycle of the blades of my cieling fan wondering a thousand and three different things
Chief umong them being my own ability to cope
I've playing pretend that I'm okay for a few years now when does fake it till you make it kick in
I'm scared of how my life seems to go nowhere at such a terrifying pace I'm wondering
How I'll survive

Lifes not fair and not everybody is scared because not everybody cares,

Let's take what we choose and leave alone the frozen throne I've stood in line behind just to glance at the face of my dead savior one more time,

And it's not okay but being okay might be a feeling I'll feel one day

With a shake and a shiver my lip might quiver but a tear in my eye you won't find

I'm lost with no direction or place to call my own and you can take this shining example of a new start and go shove it up your *** because I don't need it

I don't need it

Life's not fair