I'm sorry.

"What?"

I'm sorry I left you,
Not because of me,
Not because of you.
Because I was selfish,
And I didn't listen.

I'm sorry I felt pressured,
Not because of me,
Not because of you.
Because of my friends,
And I chose them over you.

"No, no it's—"

I broke what was already broken!
I let you stumble down a path,
That we tried to climb together.
And we could've gone up together.

Then I made a turn,
And I didn't help you there.
You fell down and broke your bones.
All because of me.

"It's—"

Now I made us both shattered.
With the other parts that can't be found,
I made you this way,
I made myself this way.
This is where I brought you and I.

"I—"

I'm sorry.
I miss you.
I love you.

I saw you in winter,
and thought of tree branches feathered by starlight in poorly lit neighborhoods. A hearth where the more honest parts of myself, I am bared fetal, warmed upon, welcomed.

I saw you in spring,
and thought of long drives in the countryside in the rain. Ice cream melting from our chins dancing petrichor upon our toes, kissing by the sea shore.

I saw you in summer,
and thought of sleepy boathouses, uncovering ancient childhood treasures in the woods. A secret lake somewhere, the sky's reflection in promise. Windy hilltops upon which to blame each other for the sunrise.

I saw you in autumn,
and thought of scarfs and cafes, city streets and sunsets where we watched each others breath escape. Apartment staircases where windchill hibernates, the world slowing down around us from your window.

The first time I saw You, I thought to myself, "I could live there."

but i'd rather feel this void
than have my feelings for you,

but i'd rather stress about my ruins
than stress about my nights being spent with you,

it came to the point where,
emptiness and nothingness became a blessing,
rather than the nightmare you make me ..

Don't be in a relationship just because you're not used to being alone. You have friends that'll be there for you to support you just like a girlfriend/boyfriend would do.

Don't be afraid to be alone, because one day, you'll be alone and no one can be there for you but yourself, so don't get used to having someone there and just be independent.

Don't use someone who probably takes you seriously when you're only using them because you never been alone before. If you really love someone, then you would've tried your best to communicate with them and not lose your feelings for them after not seeing each other for a while, because if you love them, distance won't matter.

It's okay to be alone because someone out there, will one day, be there for you and you for them until the end of your life.

{ E.I }

I once was rude
but then I learned
I got nowhere
with bridges burned

retracing steps
could not be done
the points I made
had reached no one

my intent was right
to help another
but I'd forgotten
each man my brother

to show respect
with all my words
not slay a spirit
as if with swords

to rebuild a bridge
to regain a trust
one thing I've learned
respect is a must

I search through the haze
I smell your scent
But not even a ghost
Of whom you used to be

I think I might be dying.
God I hope I do
with my guts spilling up
and running down the hand
checking my pulse again.
If not now,
when?

With eyes wide shut, my mind paints a vivid picture of the girl I love.
Everything from her frizzy hair, to her weird thumbs, and her amazing mind.
Her laugh makes me weak.
The energy in her spirit causes me to question everything
I ever denied of angels and God.
For if He exist, she is His prized possession.
Your wild antics keep me on my toes.
Your seducing smile sends chills down my spine, cooling the passion burning feverishly in my soul..
But this is a dellusion of the conscience.
When I flip my eyelids you are there,
but not subjected to my love.
You are free of the burdens I place on my chest.
You are only my best friend and I fear that's all you will ever be.
You are my angel that will shine a righteous light and awaken my cold vessel to traquil affection.
Haha, I can only dream..
I stopped believing in fairy tales long ago,
but I will never stop believing in you,
I will never stop listening to you,
I will never stop trusting you,
I will never stop being the rock
you need when the earth beneath you becomes quicksand.
When the world tries to drown you in dispare I will be there to give you life.
I will care for you, feel what you feel because we are one.
You are my better half and
I can't  survive withut you.
I wish I could tell you how I feel.
To tell you I love you more
than life itself and I will profess that everywhere anywhere no matter what.
I am proud an grateful for you and all that you have taught me.
Thank you for being my outlet from the hell I suffered through and in
return I was there for you.
I was there to wipe your tears away.
I was there when you thought of taking your life.
I was there when you wanted to go: leave America, marry in Africa, honeymoon in Paris, and grow old in India.
I have been there and I always will.
I am yours..
I wish I didn't neglect you when I did.
I wish I didn't deny my feelings for you, but I am afraid.
It scares me how serious I am about you.
I have cried and ached in your absence.
It hurts, but what's worse is that you don't know.
You may never know.
I never thought that I would be in love with my best friend.
I could only have dreamt it, but when I open my eyes, my feelings applify and I spend the rest of the day lying and repressing them until I slumber and my true reality is born, in which I am together forever with the girl of my dreams..