"Are you lost?" Said no one to the ******* the bus.
"Are you cold?" Said no one to the figure huddled in the doorway.
"Are you hungry?" Said no one to the hollow eyed man.
"Are you scared?" Said no one to the child with the bruised face.
"Are you safe?" Said no one to the family in a squalid room.

"Please send a donation to the human race. We've lost our humanity"

I guess you wouldn't see this everyday
A 43 year old man writing in a diary
But hell what other choice do I have
See a shrink
Talk my problems out

So I'll give you the details
My names Karl 43 yrs old
Divorced 5 times
7 children I barely get to see
Kids mothers think I have manic depression
Judges took my supervised visitation rights away
Because I had a mental breakdown
Ended up in the psych-ward for a month
I'm working three jobs
Little Ceasers, Raising Canes, and a handyman
I'm living in my moms basement
Paying rent out the ***
Even though I'm barely here
You tell me if I've had it rough
My dad drank himself to death
Beating my mother and me
My older brother died during service
My younger sister is a crack fiend
And I've spent more money on her
To stay in rehab than I have on clothes
For both me and my kids
I've been recently cutting
I saw my oldest do it
When I confronted him
He said it relieved the pain
He was right
Still feels wrong
I just wonder when enough is enough
When you finally give up
I've been a devoted Christian
Yet I've never seen the end of it
The constant pain
The endless torture of reality
Hell would be my heaven right now
I have no friends
I don't have a single clue
Where my life went to
But I'm sure it's heading nowhere fast
Thought about ending it
But the picture of me and my kids
Always seems to stop me cold
I just wish I could say I'm sorry
That I wish I could be a better father
A more devoted husband
But how can I do any of that
When the woman I've been with
Only wanted my wallet more than my heart
I don't even remember the smell of cologne
I guess I'm just rambling
But how old do you need to be
To die from a broken heart

I am sitting here thinking about how everyone leaves eventually and hoping to God you're the one to break the cycle
You see I love you more than the other who have come and gone and it was stupid of me to give more love to the one who is incapable of love or so you say
You could leave me in a heartbeat and never look back but my heartbeat would forever be changed because a portion of my heart beats just for you
While I know you could abandon me a part of me whispers to myself that you never will because you are not just my best friend but my sister too
Our blood was not the same when we were born and we do not even breathe the same oxygen that goes into our blood but somehow something deeper than that flows through our veins which we share
You see you hold a place in my heart that was empty before I knew you and that could never be replaced if you left
Your mind's beauty is oh so twisted but more magnificent than the rest
We are polar opposites an you hate me most of the time but I would love you to the end of time
Everyone leaves their footprint on the Earth but you've left one on my heart the size of the Golden Gate Bridge
In the most innocent form you are my soul mate. My heart rejoices when I talk to you and I feel more full with you in my life
My biggest fear is one day I lose you but I pray to God that somewhere in your heart I'm more than just a best friend but family too

As I sit here in the sun
On a backyard's step  
Cigarette in left hand
Blowing clouds from my  
Rusty lungs  

The end comes
And it doesn't justify a thing
The end is just
Pure  m a d n e s s

To wake up one day
Whether the sun shows  
Its face  
Or the sky's all gray
And not feel
The love
The loss
The hopeless weight of  
Wanting what can't be touched
Is a true sadness
The weak wrap themselves in

The end is madness
Because the beginning  
Still exists

You answered just a little too fast.
It surprised me.
I haven't seen you in about a year,
And I am realizing I've missed you.
It surprised me.
The last time I saw you,
And the time before that,
You were intoxicated.
It surprised me.
I haven't seen you in about a year,
And I am realizing what you are to me.
It surprised me.
You are a dress without hems or seams.
I hardly know you but you are beautiful.
You are the bullet in the rotating cylinder of the gun to my head.
You dig through my skull and explode my amygdala.
And force me to love you.
You are the jam in the barrel as I pull the trigger.
I fell to the ground in realization:
You both killed me and saved me.
It surprised me.

Surrounded by watercolor sunsets,
I'm left with fifty slow miles
of untamed back road.

A half smile stays fixed
on my lips
and tilts slightly to the right.

Cracked pavement makes wheels
tremble in fine rhythms
and the heavy pulse
in my inner thighs
beats to match.

I'm on my way home
and in love
with the single notion
that I've been somewhere.

While I drive,
there's a gentle devil
who sits on my shoulder.
He croons satisfying tones
as he kisses my earlobe
and breathes this message
sensually down
the side of my neck:

“Mmm, baby,
consider this
your first lesson
in survival
on Pleasure Island.”

May my adversaries be strong,
     so I may become stronger

May luck be against me,
     so I may learn to be certain

May fate present no opportunities,
     so I may forge my own

May I never succeed,
     so I may live to my fullest potential

May I reach perfection,
     Through my resolve.