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i want a book romance
long
sweet
poetic

i want to be written about
to be described in detail

my hair told with every synonym you can find
my lips a memory you can put into words
barely
my eyes pouring onto a page so deadly staring at the words

our story told with passion and precision
each interaction a transcript to review and lavish in
to hold you and call it beautifully written
love like a story

i want a love to write about
i want a love so robust
it bring the arts out of your fingers

i can taste it
memory in my mouth
sound on my tongue
heaviness on my head
i’ve felt this for way too long

comfort yet scarce
i never wanted it
it just happened
i love thé way it bit

tequila and vitamin water
desperate times call
desperate measures answer

what i hate
is when you tell me
that you want to kiss me
and hug me
and cuddle me
right before i go to sleep
so i stay up for an extra hour because
my stomach did the little floppy thing
like i was on a roller coaster
or a trampoline
and my mind racing
as if i had nothing to lose
god.
i love you.

swimming against the ocean
that doesn’t make sense we are landlocked

biking up a mountain in the wind
i hate biking

getting my license
because i forgot my ******* indicator

talking to you? about your feelings?
god forbid you actually open up to me

i can’t help anyone these days
swimming against a current
might as well
be the easiest
thing i do

i know the looks to give him from the corner of the room
i know what to say late at night that make his heart go
i know when to talk to him and when to wait
i know what songs to share
i know how to compliment his hair and his beautiful eyes
i know how to love him right
but
this thing about it is
love is an act of surrender to another person
i wanna surrender

first time
my first love
his first girl
my first real
his first try
please
can i do it right?

i think of home whenever
i smell my shampoo
i soak in the sun
i see smoke
i am home

i don’t know what home is
home is familiarity
home is blanketed
home is safe
home is you

i feel as if
home is barefoot
home is short hair
home is bonfires
home is young
home is crushing
home is christian
home is swimming
home is family
home is smores
home is the nature club
home is loving to read
home is learning to ride a rip stick
home is painting with my neighbor
home is reading to laynie
home is warm
home is easter with everyone
home is memaw
home is october
home is cozy
home is Sebastian the cat
home is joy the cat
home is pe uniforms
home is 7th grade
home is running
home is coach lang
home is pickles for my history teacher
home is the river frio
home is camping
home is laughing
home is smiles
home is hide and go seek
home is confidence
home is childish blind love
home is not caring

home is home
home isn’t going anywhere
i would never return
home is smoke and smoke and mirrors

i’ve made it past another season
i’ve sailed another wave
i’ve seen and can confirm
the rainbow after the storm
i’ve consolidated my feelings
i’ve learned to understand
im still confused
but i’ll get there
in the end
in the end
worth it all

for the first time in
a season
i feel as if i can
feel alright
i am hopefully
more content
than in the past winter

Love
Love hurts
Love harms
Love excites
Love makes my header pound
Love makes my heart break
Love makes me real happy
Love makes me real sad
Love comes in many forms
Friendship
Motherly
Fatherly
Between siblings
Between celebrities and fans
Between a girl and a boy
Between a girl and a girl
Between a boy and a boy
Between a person and their bed
A food
Love is great
Be careful with love
It’s dangerously fantastic

mascara soaked pillow
runny nose and a box of tissues
shattered heart
a look of confusion?
and pure hurt

i wasn’t able to recall
what your kiss tasted like
until after you decided you didn’t want me
it taste like heartbreak
and peace
and fear
i wasn’t able to recall
the look on your face that day
until you never looked me in the eye again
it looks like joy
and smirky playfulness
and fun
i wish you knew
how you made me feel
and how i cry
every time i think of your kiss

My heart flutters every time your name pops up on my phone
when it doesn’t all i want is to be thrown
off the cliff you put me so high up on
why can’t I be free from you

sway, step on mars
play, among the stars
she stood, fray
gay, they dance
only moving, leaves
crushed under happy feet
and so the prose ends

i wish to love
but there is a gut feeling
that this love
could get me into trouble
a gut feeling
that this love
will corner me
and force me
to love it back
this love
makes me tremble

submissive
scared
shocked
shaken
cold
alone
misunderstood
overlooked
hopeful
loved?
warm
safe
sturdy
solid
stable
heard
seen
loved.

i’m here as you fall for him
i stand as you gaze into his eyes
i watch as you drift deeper into love
it would be heartbreaking, but it’s my fault
it’s my fault i fell
deep
deep
deep
into his abyss

My snow globe of a life, shook up every time I step out of the safe confines of my room
Every word I say a small vibration in the plates of my world, shaking me without consent
I’m trying to stand up straight in the snow the clouds the trash flying all around me
Is this a snowstorm or a tornado i can’t tell if it’s temporary or if the end is close by
Oh so you have your life together? You think you balanced the snow globe just so? It’s the easiest thing for me to just? Get you all, shook up

Whats wrong
Are you ok
Talk to me
What’s going on
Why are you sad
Why aren’t you being yourself
why are you crying
Stop crying
What are you saying
I’m sorry
Stop
What’s wrong
..
why don’t you already know

His mind, a field to which I long to run across
His heart, a ball that I wish I could have the strength to hold
His chest, a bed that on I wish to sleep
My face, the obvious signals I’m trying to give
My heart, he’s grabbed hold of for way too long
My name, that I wish for him to call

An apology without change is manipulation

Love
Hate
maybe date me?

The waves seemed to chase me
I let them take over
I felt defeated
I almost drowned
I stood up in the deep water
I walked to the beach
I stood there in triumph
I saw the waves retreat
I laughed
I said “to think you could get me”
I stood terrified as the tsunami rose
I ran as if I could escape
Finally I stopped
Finally I’ve accepted my fate
I said “I’ll survive”
I thought “it’s just a crush”
It’s just a crush

.
Faint
Overwhelmed
Exhaustion
Turmoil
Somber
Stone
But when I see you
Happiness
Laughter
Desire
Smile
I can push down the rough things
And stay afloat on the feels

the way he makes me smile
I love it
when his name pops up on my phone
I love it
when he looks at he with those blue eyes
I love it
every time he sees me, he comes over to give me a high five
i hold on longer and so does he
I love it
Kind of a lot

He’s kinda weird
The way he looks at me when he thinks I’m not looking
Do you think he notices
When I do it too?
I kinda like his hair
The way it curls makes me wanna run my hand through it
it’s kinda strange
Why these feelings never came up before?
I wonder

I wish the human holding my snow globe would shake it up a little

I hate crush culture
I’m in love with a gay guy
And a straight girl
I’m in love with people who will never be with me
Because of a dumb thing like sexuality
I’ve tried to define my self but the closest I’ve gotten is that
i like people... just people.

Sometimes it’s because I have no food
No money to go buy it
No means of transport
Sometimes it’s because I have no time to eat
High school takes up 13 hours of my day not including homework
No time
No time
No time
I’ll just sleep it off
It’s for the best

IF NOTHING ELSE I LOVE
..THE AIR
.
and maybe you:)

When I describe the air in the current season I never have the words to Articulate This feeling
Fall
Autumn
Harvest
All hallows
A Season To Be Thankful
The corn
ready to be cut
Or perhaps molded into a maze for the little ones
Pumpkins
Full of spice and flavor for you to smell
Or maybe just to be severed for your porch
The air
Is crisp, refreshing
When you say “it’s nice outside,” this is to what you refer
Is nippy, full
On the edge of Sweaters
     On days I have time I like to lay in the center of the field after practice and breathe
      The air restores my soul, my hope
If nothing else, I love
The air

|||

He pull me through the space
A space filled corner to corner
With voice
Filled
Overflowing
I am flowing
Without knowing
How
Can’t you see
In the dark?

As my playlist plays
The tears roll down
Picture this.
It’s dark
The bass shakes the salt from your tears
His voice calls the water from your eyes
My shirt
Soaked
You’re rolling in the feels
And he isn’t stopping you
I float
And shake
His voice pierced the waves


I’m trying to convey how this song makes me feel and how you and this song give me this same feeling but I just can’t use words to describe this, seasonal sunflower feeling.

I want to know why
I began to cry at the sound of your voice
Why you crossed my mind twice as much
Why I began to fall

I want to know when you stopped smiling when you heard my name
When you began to not care how I was doing all the time
When I stopped crossing your mind at the end of the day
I want to know why

They’ve got ahold of me
Ahold of my love and my feelings
Gripped although we were close
As I walk, I long
Long to be with you
But, as if you were here
You left
This state of mind has me talking to the moon
Wishing you were looking too
Maybe if
There was more time
And less distance
Then our love would stretch far

Your eyes, prettier than you say I am
You got your nose pierced and it’s making you harder to resist
Your smile, brighter than our futures combined
But hey! I never would’ve met you if not for our minimum wage jobs
Your rep, worse than the instability you give me
People tell me no, that you just want me for reasons I want people to want me for
But hey
You’re cute and looking at you can’t hurt, can it?

when I talk it's never the right way
the way that I knew was right before?
when I walk it always sticks out
Did I use to fit in?
I'm in a rut and I can't crawl out
there are ducks all around me swimming smoothly
why am I paddling so hard?

we never talked
we never...
I knew stories
I knew...
I loved you
I loved...
I miss your voice
I miss...
the person I knew as you would never hold up in court
its been a year since you left this world
I know more than I knew when you walked with us on this dreadful earth
we never walked
we never...
Did I know you?
I knew...
I loved the way you talked
I loved...
I miss your presence
I miss you
I miss...

I'm in love with someone who hates me
I'm in love with a *****
a horrible person
someone who would rather not hang out with me
have you ever talked to someone you used to be heart in heart and step in step and then they left
they stepped out of line
they took a path you'd like to but they have created a blockade
I want to follow but I'm too far
I've fallen in a hole and you don't believe me
I've cut too deep, but not deep enough for you
maybe if I hurt more
if you saw me cry for you
if you saw me spend my time figuring out what to say
less symbolism
no more vagueness
more love
understand me
I can't keep deciphering you boo

I've been tearing around in my ******* nightgown
24/7 Sylvia Plath
Writing in blood on the walls
'Cause the ink in my pen don't work in my notepad
Don't ask if I'm happy, you know that I'm not
But at best, I can say I'm not sad
'Cause hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have
hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have...

scars are an identity that I cherish
I love the way the roll down my arms
the way they remind me of the times I hurt
climbing a tree
when you said that
sometimes I think
that scars shouldn't beloved
but they show the path that one has been on
you have validation in proof
scars should be loved

tais toi chienne

Love is not easy return
love is not slice a cake
love is not lemon squeezy
love is not chill
Love is permanent  
and most importantly
when love is broken
Love gets revenge.

What is wrong with me?
Everything is wrong
with you
But at the same time
Everything is right

are you committed
cause I'm your crime

I actually would like some feedback on my latest poem, I spent forever on it hoping everyone would like it but ended up not going anywhere
help me out?