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779 · Jul 2020
Voices
Do this and do that
You can't go and stop
Just to chit and chat

You think you are allowed
Then let me remind you dear
You are not, as long as I'm around

No matter how hard you cry
How much you've helped
It's never enough, don't even try

You were always alone
You never got friends
And they will never stay

Those monsters that you tied
Tears that you tried to hide
They won't care, no matter how hard you try

You are not enough nor will ever be
Just do what you have to
Coz if you'll resist and insist, it'll just drive you crazy

Let's walk home today
Dark is coming tonight
Let's call it a day

You're too loud, too proud, such a *****
You don't deserve everything you got
Deserved to be ditched

They only stay because of pity
Pity that you are witty
But you are lonely

They don't like you in their lives
You ****** them with your presence
Why are you still even alive?

Oh, so people such as you exist
People who don't belong
And unwanted but still insists

Do you really wanna know what you are?
You are nothing but a trash, a lonely person
Proud? Loud? Hates crowd? We don't care

Who are you for us to even care?
You keep blabbering nonsense
Such as "don't you dare!" then you'll give us an angry glare?

Those were just a few
They're the voices in my head
And only a few have a clue
338 · Jul 2020
Monsters of the Night
What is this?
Something's or someone rather
From my back, its hugging me
It felt so cold, so eerie, so scary

What the hell?
I feel like I am being watched
Like there's a pair of eyes
I swear I can feel it but I don't know whose eyes are those?

Is it someone?
Or is it a soul or a ghost?
What creature was that?
****, its hugging me again..

I can feel it caressing my arms..
Its hands slowly found its way to my neck
It chokes me..
I can't breathe, help me..

Someone out there please help me
I am so scared, this place is so eerie
Help me, take me away from my home
Take me away from this hell, so that they'd leave me alone..
314 · Jul 2020
Quietness Can Kill
Too quiet
Too dark
Too silent
Too far

Walls seemed to continuously cave in
I kept on hearing sounds nobody can
Then darkness came, fear started crawling under my skin
I badly want to scream for help yet I just can't

Anyone who listened to my story
They'll either listen or ignore me
Or even both probably
No one just takes me seriously

It's been giving me nightmares
Unbelievable fear of time is what I got
Knowing -ber months is coming may be other's time for celebrating
But it's months of nightmares and inevitable fear to me

Can't breathe
Can't laugh
Can't see the light
Please stop

I beg for someone to help me
Only one remained and believed me
Others left out of disgust or fear
One includes my parents, it saddens me

I need some ears to listen to me
Some open mind to believe what's happening to me
A person who knows what's it like to feel the fear I've been living
Someone I can truly talk to and give me understanding

But even so I already found that person by now
It still haunts me whenever I close my eyes
It's hard to live with it you know
Every now and then they'll pop into my thoughts and take away my happiness

It draws my tears out of my eyes
It gives me shivers down my spine
The fear I kept on feeling whenever I am confined
Not only in darkness but in my very mind

The riddle was not yet answered
This mystery is yet to be solved
And here I was waiting for its end
Hoping it would leave me alone and live my life again

But just how **** unlucky am I
No one seems to understand how I'm feeling
My parents would always avoid the topic if I ever start bringing it
I felt so betrayed and confined

I can't believe I see my own home as my prison
Yes we're all together yet I always feel alone
School was also not an exemption
Everything just felt so near but still so far like a different dimension

Laying on my bed
This very afternoon
Rain drops pouring down
Moments after 12 noon

Still so bright outside
Yet my room seemed so dark
Loneliness looming over
Happiness crushed like pieces of broken glass on the floor

Too quiet
Too dark
Too scared
Too silent

Please save me
My heart is begging
Please hear me
My mind is screaming..
Chills running down my spine
It doesn't go away as if it stopped time
It was so dark I thought the stars in the dark night sky has lost its shine
It was alarming, risky, scary but it was just fine

Surprisingly, it's comforting
It's cold but filled up with longing
It's dark and cold like the night sky of a late evening
Yet when you embrace it, it gives you a warm feeling like morning

Warmth is there, yes
But the darkness and coldness surpass the rest
I tried to escape from it and I did my best
For escaping from it is an impossible quest

The Flower of Doom already bloomed
The end is coming soon
I know cause even under the hot sun of noon
You can already see the moon

It had already begun
You can't survive even if you have your rifle or gun
The strength of your soul's will
will determine if your still going to continue living and have fun
But if your soul's will is weak
you'll quickly vanished and will forever be gone

So when you feel that chilling sensation down your spine, it's the darkness
When it tries to embrace you, nothing's left but sadness
The coldness will never leave you like a pest
That's the embrace of the darkness' nest

IT'S THE COLD EMBRACE OF THE DARK ABYSS
252 · Jul 2020
Time and Commitment
When would the time come
When you'd be finally on time
When I won't need to wait
When you would already be there when I came..

I hope you value time as much as I do
Coz we don't know when we'll die, that's true
Please keep and do your promise
Or I might as well forget you even did

Can you really keep and do it?
Or are those just words to assure me?
Are you really ready to commit with it?
Coz if you can't please tell me

I don't know if I should still hope for you
I want to believe you, please I really do
But you've made me wait and sometimes even stood me up
Now I don't really know if there's nothing up..
145 · Jul 2020
Never Have I Ever
There's this hole
I feel so low
I am not whole
Shot by an arrow and a bow

Never felt this broken
Only been cracked and
Thought that I was given
But no, something was taken

Never felt this lonely
This hole inside of me
It's making me empty
Cover it coz it's draining me

Used to be alone
Now you're here
You carried me along
Never been this happy
90 · Jul 2020
The Ruler of the Night
I've been in the daylight
Been at the darkest nights
But no matter what
It always seems like it's night

I can only see darkness
I ask where's the light?
But I always look up at the sky
There's the moon with its stars

It's just there giving light at its best
Even if he himself is swallowed by the darkness
He's doing his best to get some light from the sun and give it back to give light
But sometimes even the moon surrenders to the darkness in which it reigns over

Being taken over by something you are supposed to rule
Being swallowed by your own environment
Your own place, your own kingdom
Even the moon that gives us some light at night is swallowed by darkness

I sometimes cannot see the moon..
Even its stars are not there..
They are covered by clouds
While the moon was being enveloped by darkness..

Years after, time had passed by
I then realized one thing..
It wasn't actually the moon that I am seeing
It was actually myself..
It was a blissful evening
As I watch them here while performing
I never thought I'd end up crying
As I felt my heart slowly bleeding and breaking

The evening air bringing despair
In front of the mirror as I stare
I watched two orbs full of color
Die and lose its flare

The night sky with its moon and stars
Even in the dark shows my scars
I feel my heart breaking into many parts
As I lie alone on my bed pouring my heart

The one bringing hope and joy
Never had thought would be one day destroyed
The sound of laughter as they rejoice
Slowly fading as she heard her own voice hoarse

The slight feeling of isolation
Leads to her mild destruction
Those small damages can already give you a prediction
That soon she will slowly be destroyed and lose herself in addition
I watch it crumble and break down into pieces
As I also watch myself fall in to that same dark abyss
I tried to grab the rope with my fist
Yet it was hopeless since it always slipped

Every second feels like forever
Trapping me into agony making it even harder
I tried so hard to resist at least to make it better
Yet it was put in vain for hope was not even there like ever

I want to escape so bad that I am willing to do anything
Yet it seems to be pulling me back harder than I am imagining
The chain that kept me trapped and connected to that abyss was being pulled down
It hurts so much that I cried for help yet there's not even a sound

Chains that restrains my hands and feet are tight
A pair of hands on my eyes blocking my sight
Preventing my eyes to see any light
I stayed there begging someone to help me and be my knight

Yet no one came even after the long wait
Even when the night passed by and morning came
The seemingly endless sweetness of sugar cane
Was now replaced by the bitterness that coames with the betrayal and being abandoned that I'm feeling

The darkness enveloping the place
Seems like night there will forever stay
I tried asking for someone's sympathy and embrace
Yet they only gave me null and void eyes and their poker face

Horror consumed me and it covered my face
Making my mind and heart beat as if it finished a marathon or a race
I tried to use my wings to escape but it was a hopeless case
It was like patching the million pieces from a broken vase

Soon enough my heart can feel nothing
Numbness and void taking over everything
I thought the light will never came as I was hoping
Yet there he stood with his arms that seems to be reaching something

Something or someone, it doesn't matter
For when I heard him speak everything became clearer
I found light and it eliminated the darkness and made my chains shatter
The light made the shadow go away but also darker

But it doesn't matter if it intensified
The thing that matters is that I was resurrected from being mummified
I thought I would forever be trapped in darkness terrified
Yet there was an angel in his shining armor who saved me and gave me light

— The End —