There are too many days..... I cant do this many days. Too many days where darkness wins. Fate laughs endlessly. I am Fate's comedic performer and he laughs without end. Like a donkey behind a carrot I am led and with the rasp of a donkey's bray Fate's laughter rings in my ears.
I don't think I can do this. Where joy is substituted by despair and happiness succumbs to death.... and the symphony of laughter is the tune. The strings on this puppet are frayed and worn but the puppeteer is relentless. How do you fix the strings of a puppet in motion? Who will catch the puppet if he falls? I can hear no answers above the laughter that rings in my ears and so this puppet on tattered strings dances on to the tune that Fate maintains. How long is a piece of string? It matters not if the string can carry no weight.

Have you looked upon a western sky at a certain time of day?
When the endless turning of the world compels the sun to go away.
Have you looked across an open plain with soil of rust red brown?
And seen the brightest evening star burn bright as jewel in crown?
Have you seen the stands of trees fade into the black of night?
And watched them all but disappear as day makes final rays of light.
Have you seen upon the far horizon the shapes of ancient lands?
And watched the changing light show of radiant, fiery bands.
Have you seen the shades of fire change the western sky?
And marveled at all its beauty until it wets your very eye.
Have you taken time to note every shade in fiery hue?
And marveled at flame red clouds upon a sky of pastel blue.
Have you stood and watched the glory as it slowly fades away?
Dont despair and make the time, as it happens every day.

Is life just a board-game dependent on some randomly thrown dice?
Are our lives as we see them or are we trapped like some fake mice?
Do we make our own way based on what we learn and know?
Or are we all just using time as we stumble onto "go"?
Do we ride on ladders taking paths we choose to make?
Or are we all just reaching to slide some fateful snake?
Are we just here to gather immense piles of materials and loot?
Or is that not just the most of all trivial of all pursuit?
Are we playing Ludo set on a board in which we roam?
And are all the other players just out to beat us home?
Are we but just players in an organized wordly mess?
Are we born to pawn or king on a battlefield of chess?
Perhaps you have had those times when you search for some life fix?
You roll your di as best you can but you just never roll a six?
Have you shared kind words with a friend going through life's crap?
And all the time your mind is thinking are we all just playing snap?
Is it all just winning at the ending of the day?
Or are important things the rules by which we choose to play?
Each seem on different boards as we struggle in the race.
No consistency of choice, in time, of hope, nor certainty of place.
What determines pawn or king as I stumble along my way?
And will I know if I'm fulfilled when my board gets packed away?

Are you strong enough each and every day?
Are you forever strong enough to keep the dark away?
Can you control your mind and remember how it is you're made?
Can you keep the dark at bay even when you are totally afraid?
Do you function in a way so that people cannot see?
Do you operate as the world expects that you are meant to be?
Are things hidden from the eyes of those who love and care?
Are you able to cope when those who matter aren't even aware?
Can you keep enough of you to win the battles that you must?
Can you in-spite of everything remember how to trust?
Do you enter every day just planning to survive?
Do you get to sunset and feel joy or sadness to be alive?
Are you able to carry on through a thick darkness that numbs?
Are you able to face the familiarity of tomorrow when it comes?
Can you see the conception of things that give rise to hope?
Can you maintain focus as you are riding down your *****?
Do you live a life where you ask yourself these things?
Do you feel its all the same no matter what tomorrow brings?
Are you able to support as I deal with things how they seem?
Can I do all I can to face my incessant internal scream?
And......
Do I have the strength to hang on to everything I dream?

Do you think of those who enter into your world every single day?
Do you see the things they do and hear the words they have to say?
Do they influence the way you think and occasionally react?
Are there those among them with-whom you hold a pact?
Have you those you cherish and greet with every kind of joy?
Are there those among them there by the tolerance that you employ?
Do you see them as they really are or as you choose to do?
And when they return the look do they see the real you?
If you changed your path would they follow you on your way?
Or do you know that any change would bring the ending of a day?
Do you see them and in return do they see the real you?
Or do you kid each other to keep the things mutually you give and do?
Would the changing of your step bring something to an end?
And if it did would that be the measure of someone once called friend?
As these people pass and come and go or linger on their way.
Do they really see and hear you and let you influence their day?
Can it all be measured by what we give and take?
And who among them all is there for love and your own sake?
Have these things been tested in the life you choose to live?
Who is there to take from you but will never choose to give?
If you changed your life to take on some new guise.
Would you see friends who stuck with you and witness love with your own eyes?

Have you felt the darkness in the middle of the day?
Have you felt the brush of ghosts you just cant keep away?
Do you know your value or just wonder at your worth?
Do you wish for somewhere else other than this Earth?
Have you felt your weakness and hidden it inside?
Have you been so low that there is no form of pride?
Do you feel you stand alone and have nowhere left to go?
Do you sense there is no end to the depths of your own woe?
Have you lost the path and felt a falter in your stride?
Have you seen your dreams desert you to vanish as they've died?
Do you know this darkness of which I choose to tell?
Do you know the pain of it and the never ending hell?
Have you groped the dark for a hand you hope is there?
Have you fumbled in the dark for a ghost with time to care?
Do you know the emptiness of this unforgiving space?
Do you feel the staring eyes and so choose to hide your face?
Have you seen in shadow others as by random they pass through?
Have you cowered in the dark understanding they cant touch you?
Do you, as I do wish a light could reach you there?
Do you know the shape of light to bring an ending to despair?

When the last of those you trust have pushed you to the side.
And you can see and think of nothing but the ever rising tide.
When there is no joy left for you and you see no way to turn.
And the pain just sears at you like a ever scorching burn.
When you feel the tears are pressing behind your very eyes.
And you see no hope left to you after failing all your tries.
When your heart is refused and not taken by those you wish to give.
And no matter the miles to the horizon you see nothing compelling you to live.
When all you feel is empty and you hurt way down inside,
And you just have no more tears and there is nothing left of pride.
When all you have left to you is lonely, dark despair,
Keep an eye out for me.... I am already waiting there.