in the tsunami of self loathing,
i am not going to swim,
i am sitting numb,
staring at the walls,
questioning myself,
why am i this way?
why can't i be what they want me to be?
why can't i?
i hear the waves of ocean of detestation,
crashing on my mind,
destructing my trueself,
shaking the buildings of my self confidence,
i can feel the water filled inside my lungs,
and this time,
i am not swimming,
i am not trying to save myself,
i am drowning,
and i don't want anyone,
to save me from drowning,
coz i know,
they can save me from demons,
but no one can save me from myself....

after you,
i can't hear the chants,
of nightingales that once sat,
on the branches of the tree,
outside my window,
i don't see any flower,
bloom in red,
i can't feel rain,
falling on me,
i can't smell the petrichor it left,
in other word,
after you,
o have lost my senses,
i have lost myself....

what did you say honey,
you want to be immortal,
come,fall in love with me,
and live in my poetry forever.....

in an encounter,
with your enemy,
when you have chance to punish me,
never punish them,
just forgive them,
coz no punishment,
is more fatal,
than repenting,
make them curse,
every second of their life,
the time they hurt you..

the tall tree,
that once stood so firm,
so proud of its strength,
it is flung down,
next to my eyes,
in front of me,
it's wreathed old roots,
that once used to be,
strong enough to hold him,
are now feeble as they could be,
it's brown leaves,
with a touch of orange hue,
with blend of yellow,
are the ones,
that once were so green and lush,
it's branches that once,
were a home to a thousand blue birds,
are no more mothers,
they now are strile,
idea gleam on the curtain of my mind,
with the tree that once was ceaselessly young,
is now dead,
what are we proud of?????

we all are in a journey,
a journey of self,
journey of forage,
we all are craving for us,
craving for real us,
and the journey,
seems to continue,
until we find someone,
on the same path,
with same notion,
the one we can communicate,
not through words,
but by silence
by eyes,
and that moment
we realize,
they aren't any other person,
they were the parts of our own soul,
split up by GOD,
to keep us in a journey,
journey of self.....

if they throw rocks at you,
it's time,
you pick those rocks up,
and make walls out of those rocks,
to keep such people out.......