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Karijinbba Dec 2020
When a man one adores
shows up a call girl photo card,
make sure you love him more
then you love yourself,
to let such sweetheart
true love best lover go,
like I let mine fly off.
My king understood love by his woman's  jealousy dinamics
shown for him. I understood love
by the trusting self assured
non jealous attitude owned.
So, for this kind of lover.
Fight for his love do cry!
Instead of letting this jeweled king
go to his call girls like I did because
his joy and happiness
was above and beyoud my own.
iI turns out he had given me all his love in written prenuptial contract and had no love for no other queen or slave or call girl to give her he was telling me he was my true love
only mine after two decades!
Foolish me was amnesic and couldn't speak up about the plot of his ancient prenuptial was since he told me
he was married and to never
look back  then he cursed me
to hate him from afar and move on;
which I did, but I didn't choose right .
I fell victim of human predators.
because his lyrics deceived my naive soul in youth I did not tell him I loved him and I lost his love.
slowly but sureky he took his Kammazutra back but I had my own
and just like him my lover brain sixty nine I give to noone I haven't found one worthy to be loved. .
It's disastrous and very foolish.
As I observe a lifetime after,
we both adored each other
in our own well intentioned ways
interchangeably even but other
forces conspire dod to wreck us up.
  without wanting to or knowing how.
We both understood love
in different ways;
this interpretation was
both our downfall my demise was only silence for in my mouth lips and words I had my cure to his live enchantment and end eternal love.
His Karma had pledged
in his Rhett Buttler past life,
he would search world wide,
or buy love if he had to,
but he was going to be loved
only in his way.
So we both lived out our destiny
but life was never the same
ever again as that which
was between us we were identical within m, twin flanes twin souls

Without him physically
my existance was like a dream.
more often like a nightmare.
I lost everything,
and everyone I ever adore.
like a house if cards it came
tumbling all down and,
it materialized even here on HP
since then I learned to close doors
to disconnect say good bye
but to my twin no good bye
it's impossible.
I feel blessed and cursed.
all in all I found misery and pain.
~~~~~~~
By Karijinbba 1974-95 & on.
https://youtu.be/v2BPSy5qbXg
Karijinbba Dec 2020
Like always you cut me exhausted hungry destitute alone freezing stuttering in coldness without you.
Unaware of how you would pop up with open ended questions
to decide my life without you.

To answer your question with awareness fairness realizing it was you who questioned me;
out of the blue using a new name de plume that I had to intuit it right
that it was you
or forever miss my mark.

No it's never too soon nor too late,
for lovers to meet face to face;
after each catastrophic storm
had ended,
or after a lifetime or two.

You were the only real man
back with me after each storm.
hopping I rescued myself!
You reappeared dead silent,
Talking your own language and you never hinted what hell I lived through.
How astounded in shock wounded i was you carried open ended questions
for me to make lifetime decision
with my shattered heart.
you failed to realize struggling to survive homeless without resources
have no time for healing wisdom.

Why in the world do you ask such questions behind this mirror!??
And sadly for me, in my own answer,
you found your road ahead
with a significant other!.

That was easy wasn't it!?

Should I spell the many
Name De Plume on here HP with your many windows you used!?
You closed some and left others open.

I know you read me on here
delivering anonymous messages
  was that fair!?
~~~~~~
I live by this biblical rule:
"Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud not covertly hidden..
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrong doings.
Love does not delight in evil
but love rejoices with the truth.
~~~~~~
It was never too late or soon dear;
you just asked too many **** questions, and in my suffering pain
I missed my mark again.
You made me stumble and fall.

Yes fall always, with your help.
~~~~~~~
By: Karijinbba
Inspired by the bible and my old true love
my Angel eyed king of hearts
Karijinbba Nov 2020
The most important thing of being a star is being remembered.
The most amazing thing is to be loved cherished understood fundamentally!.
Sharing innermost feelings,
of truth better then wisdom.
but being trashed for being a hero by villain jealous association of wolves,
is as bad as it can get.

I must be an owful star seed
terrible lover, a bad friend
a most boring wife
a horrible patient but stern mother
a lousy communicator
to have been attacked in all areas of womanhood motherhood wifehood!
left behind all alone a mother, grandmother, sister, poetess!

Today, a gentler thought
saves and rescue me.
People I trusted loved adored,
those I gave life to and saved, just became just cold blooded
narcissist to lack empathy,
understanding
and common sense or are ill.
All ungreatful, under spells
by human predators I
to deny reaching out
to me in this my winter time.

And I realize I am beautiful
in and out, envied, yet
nothing else makes sense.
This undeserved isolation
loneliness, set aside as
unimportant, worthless
systematically trashed as
depicted by their jealousies
underserved.
Ugly unprovoked enemies,
such a nightmare!

Kindly, I realize
the enemy is weak, blind
pack of wolves, culprit snakes
in my paradise rather
stuck to each others poison's,
team of evildoers.

They aren't all alone no.
They team up to harm.
As God in heaven,
and the devil in hell are
my witnesses;
~~
I promise to never
miss my mark ever again
in any lifetime.
Timely, will spill my heart
to the one I adore.
Never give my Aries diamonds
to Greek swine nor to the Charles Manson's advocates
The covert cowards in USA.,
I won't die broke silenced
victimized nor ever alone again..
~~~~~~~
By: Karijinbba
11-2020
regrets of a purple hearted
poetess, bride, Mom. fiancee
wife. Wounded by the hand of the enemy
Karijinbba Nov 2020
We hearts of gold
both already possess
our very own
private time machine.
It's our mind
OUR MEMORY!
So precious twin soul, meet me
at Astilleros or Independence street;
walking, smiling
desperately hungry, to devouring
each other, regardless of name, nationality or social status.
We belong together.
Just one thought away
our personal time machine
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By: Karijinbba
74-2020 infinite love.
First day I saw your eyes your hair your face i lost my mind
that was a life time ago.
precious love...
If I had a time machine
I would always go back
to the same exact
moment in time.
Karijinbba Nov 2020
Well I was born a self existing
Yellow Star on April 16 AM
a portal to heaven a seed star,
more then half a century ago.
Under a brilliant star I was told
like Jesus Christ I too was born.
Only I am female though
this must be a parallel world
remembered in the negative light wrongly perceived isolated
while all I do is love, give life
save lives protect loved ones.

I'm barely known or viewed even here
persecuted like Jesus was
Just look what happened to Him!
strangely in a way, I've lived His life
I heal myself and others by telepathy
with my healing hands and touch.

The same things happened to me
around the time Mom's birthed me
where she nursed me newborn
one deceiving snake covertly hid.
Later on another bit my leg
immunizing me for what was to come of me that I survived poisoning torture rejections jealousies
envies and was trashed mocked
and sold yes just like Jesus was sold
but for more $ the Jesus was
by a Catholic lunatic nun at age twelve
Perhaps because I am also
God's daughter and my fathers name was also David.
Wasn't Jesus from the house of David,?
I was plotted to be banished
as a baby and later on survivied
while many times left for dead.
Yes death is my friend, it didn't stay
or it released me every time
back to breathing
and among the living
or is it with the dead walking,?

Well then, I hope the Angels lift me up
from this grave called apartment
I shall conquer
death's final sting.

How about you? Describe
your life to me in a story poem.
~~~~~~~
By: Karijinbba
11-2920.
True story poem
living a parallel reality wish to influence
the errors so I can change this outcome.
Karijinbba Oct 2020
Dearest everything:
I don't want you to leave empty-handed please take it all
every treasure known
and unknown, every loot
you are familiar with
upon that hill.
It's all yours I will only be harmed
take even my beloved precious children
I won't miss them or worry about them if you have them
to love them
as your very own!
They know no other father than you.
Those three children you lost,
I have them against all odds.

I trust only you after God
only you after any other human
on Mother Earth
after poverty joy and happiness,
after caos after
every terrible disaster.
You got heart brains charm grace heart understanding
you are a King of kings
God sent by heavens bridge
I love you so much.
I always have, always will;
before and after every treasure
every blessing is you.
~~~~~~~
By,:Karijinbba
All copy rights apply.
Oct--2020.
words left unsaid are more than just any bittersweet regret.
They are knives wounds that never stop bleeding
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