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Nothing hurts me more deeply,
then your
physical silence
and
indifferent
absence
so dead calm
not knowing
if you're living
or colder
in your grave

Speak to me
darling
I love you so.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By: Karijinbba
All rights reserved
Indifference as cold
as forgetting
an absent loved one
a painful un necessary tactic of "less is more"
in the solitary life
of a precious lover
left behind. Hate me
I beg you,your rancor hurts me less then being forgotten!( Revised comment 03-22-19)
Mar 13 · 67
Truth vs lies
Karijinbba Mar 13
Sometimes truth is
stranger than fiction
cold and cruel as a grave
and flowering tragic
circumstances
or living in denial
is a quick sweet fix
causing irreparable
lifetime misfortune
Timely revealing
a terrible truth
to innocents
can be traumatic
yet tender eye opener
but utterly kindly
necessary to avert
greater future calamity
and misjudgements
I know this truth
in my own flesh
I hid a cruel truth
not to cause painful
suffering to self
and other victims
my own children
and I was hurt
the most I lost it all.
so speak timely
get counseling go public
living in denial
of unexamined
traumatic past events
never escaped
the laws of fate
and ill karma
It all come back
to hunt me
revealing
the light of truth
no matter how
dark its sting
it did set me free
but I lost
the companionship
of close loving
family members
in their cold diselief
awake be aware
an evil doer's skim
to continue future
character assassination
slandering oldest
witness victim
will perish obliterated
only in the light
of timely
simple truth revealed
A dearly beloved
survivor's courage
and foresight
to stop living
in foolish denial
will also end
in much needed
self healing
~~~~~~~~~
By Karijinbba
All rights reserved.
revised 03-16 2019.
Don't let it happen to you.
Reveal the light of truth
no matter how dark its sting.
Ending up mis-understood
misjudged unknown
is an injustice
sad and very
lonesome
existence.
Karijinbba Mar 2
My king of hearts
my twin soul of old
he wrote he "dreamt
that he was a racoon
eating a piece of corn
with a vicarious lady
wearing a black mask
over her eyes!"
but he was wrong about me
I killed no racoon for his fur!
No rich man for his wealth!
No aborted child out of malice
It was medical advice!
just for that belief alone,
he lost me
I lived in a dead calmness
for in childhood trauma
the brain blocks
traumatic events
although a clever brain's, protective mechanism,
inability to examin
ones life timely
derrails life's true destiny
to a place not worth
it's living **** and pain.
Until I woke up,
becoming aware saved me.
I slowly have healed
I love who I was born to be
born a star seed
says my Mayan callendar!
Always flowering!
Proud of who my parents were
glad enemies are all
distant and faint memories!
This my healing art
I share, I love to be free
to choose companionship
or total independance!
My past doesn't hold me back loving others ever.
I am cautious of who I trust
to love!
I am glad my loved ones
came along.
Glad my unprovoqued
enemy's darkness fades
in my spirit's light,
their malice no longer
hinder me.
As for one beloved still
glued in mind from my past,
who loved me back,
If i just didn't find another matching twinsoul,
to share my character's intellectual broadness,
being very sellective
doesn't mean
one is stuck in any past!
Such norrow minded
form of criticism
for being unmarried,
is an **** and unfair
thinking by the
quick judging few.
I had an interesting past
with cruel greedy sick people
and many can benefit from my trips to **** and back without having to go there themselves! But only few gifted intellectuals venture to learn
from people like me
or surely from you too!
with your own
experiences
If I get any pains
from my past
I find healing joy
from the spontaneous
gentle smile of babes cradled
in their Moms embrace
the joyful toddler looking straight into my eyes, smiling with sweetest dancing eyes
looking at me
and quickly
to his Moms eyes
skanning for assurance
and safety as I smile
back at the precious
innocent true smile of a child
Ahhh! If only we all
could embrace our inner
child's spirit soul
to truly connect
with grown ups
heart to heart
without any expectation
or hidden agendas
with just the spirits beauty
of a baby's smile
smiling back ever so
happily and content.

Thanks for reading
Sincearely its an honor
to share my innercore
with the best of earth's
intellectual society of
great poets.
~~~~~
By: Karijinbba
All rights reserved.
Revised 03-13-2019
Your opinion comments loves and likes are apreciated.
Karijinbba Feb 27
From childhood I was surrounded by jealousy, malice and greed,
by the haves and the have not.
My parents owned lots of land, built log cabins and had many farms where food was grown!
abundantly by all my family members.
it was a fertil paradise indeed, with all sorts of tree fruits and vegetables grown, plus animals raised along with us the beautiful loving inquisitive talkative, gifted children, joyfully playing with the rich red clayish earth two twin first cousins playing hours building houses tables chairs with the clay all around us in Michoacan the Sierra Madre mountains that hid our vast land.
We were Perhupetcha tribe.
A native Mestizo mix of Irish French white raice. Purhupetchas were enemies of the Central American Mexican Aztecs with their sacrificial evil practices of murdering people for their hearts. The lazy ones living in fancy homes nearby, came to my cabin to buy food: corn, beans, chayotes bananas, squash, cherries, green apples and goats sheep chickens, cows milk
but the rich nrighbors the proud Villa owners practically didn't want to pay fair value of wholsome organic best food but got it all almost for free.
I admired their dress code though,  
like Scarlet Oharas dressess,
but we the native farmers were dressed in typical colorful atires like natives did and my family were their own simstressess.
My cousins mother envied my Mom and Mom's beautiful children and often instructed my twin cousin Rosa to try to drown me in the river which she did try twice but I dug my fingers into her mouth till it bled and she stopped obeing to her evil Mom,
whenever my unfut Mom left me all day with my cousins after my father was killed my life was in danger daily by this evil political mad woman married to my beloved hard working unaware blind folded uncle named Manuel.
My uncle was white mid height green hazle eyes and a slanted distinctive charming smile like Elvis Presley's smile to die for.
My uncle was huggin and loving but i was marked for death by his crazy envious evil sadistic wife from the moment my dad died after he was shot and killed she killed my baby brother nine months old and then tried killing me to keep my fathers land I suppose, but psychopaths like her need no excuse. She gave cut glass to my beautiful blue eyed baby brother David in front of me while Mom got busy having more kids in her new marriage.
I got a dose of "three cut glass for dinner so wouldn't be hungry again," and after one year and a half bleeding inside hurting I walked to a catholic city school ten blocks away alone unaware I was dying but aware of the danger in  my own home in Cotija Michoacan. There I asked for help education and work! I was only seven years old. Literally for two years nobody had fed me or cared for me my mothers instincs were cero and void. Mom never even new what really killed her baby son or the reason for my tormenting belly aches that made me twirl in pain and pass out. Well the nuns saved me by a free surgery offered as I was rescued but one nun condemned me to a life of servitud horphanhood abuse all sorts, indeed from one **** to another. The ignorant ****** nun thought i was ***** for the internal hind, not front bleeding and she believed I had cancer, none of which had been happening to me at all. I didn't say anything because no one asked and the evil envious political psychopath aunt had warned me that if i said anything at all she would **** Mom and my little sister Delfina.
So twenty five years later I found all my family and learned my beautiful half brother Antonio (Anthony) at age seven had also died bleeding and throwing up green stuff like i was, probably forced to eating cut glass after evil aunt hated baby sitting or feeding him as my unfit mother neglected him leaving hm in her care.
I told my sister the truth but she never believed it nor my sufferings, truth being darker then lies! I wished I had never looked or found anyone of them.
My "sleep walking" ignorant family so apathetic towards my life of torment loss betrayal and sadomy.
Before my dad was shot and killed for our land by the Federal government thiefing all that was ours, the poisonous snake that bit my leg just above my right ancle as my dad and uncle saved me when II was five was ideed the most benebolent of my lifetime attackers, it didn't plan it all like my enemies did!.
Living with the nun was agonizing; fainting spells hypoglycemia, anemia hunger and over working it was a daily chore reserved for orphaned ones.  I survived worst then Cinderella, by eating splattered zapote droppings from trees and mangos. My life similar to sleeping beauty with the poisoned apple mine being cut glass for dinner as candy.
Indeed the enemy hid right in my own home!.
The devil wouldn't have been so cruel as this sadistic cruel woman not worth being called aunt.
Something is wrong with some human breeds indeed, But I blame my unaware bad Mom and uncle for not perceiving the danger an innocent child was with Roselias twisted personality. Her greed malice envy all unjustified undeserved unprovoqued!!.
I adored my father he fed me cared for me to the point my mother resented it. I was not at all like this evil dark snakes in my paradise I was all light bubbly loving caring with everyone and better with my chldren, whom I loved for them to be loved by everyone more then anyone rather loving me,
I was a feroseously protective Mother nobody would ever hurt my any of my children.
Sometimes I feel that among my deadly enemies through my life the most benebolent of my attackers was the coiled poisonous snake that bit me when i innocently aproached it to curiously inspect its abode.

Indeed the enemy hid at home with me so make sure you are awake in the spirit imparting justice protecting and loving the little ones above all.
Its our childhood experiences that mold us to trust the world we see and people we deal with as a place worthy to have lived in it or not.I admit few times i wished i was never born that I was speared for greatness a star seed like the Mayan calendar writes, born to forfit all treasures as i walked through life in denial hiding the **** truth. But I am fine now star seeding awareness be careful who we trust even our cradle home can hide deadly snakes disguised as a family member.
~~~~~~~~~
By Karijinbba
Excerpt from my memoir.
All rights reserved.
1954-20017
beware of covert enemies.
It SEEMS FROM THE BEGINNING OF TIME SNAKES ALL SORTS HIDE IN OUR HOME.
However an unexamined life is not worth living but worse.My enemy was always in home. But i had more lives then a cat.
Jan 4 · 632
Huddled root to root
Karijinbba Jan 4
Not all tree roots
need to be long or thick
to be strong mighty ever lasting.
trancending time and space

The strongest tallest trees
have SHORT roots tightly close interconnectedly
with many tree roots
by one amazing fact

being rooted from underneath very close to one another
Huddled in short proximity
it's how the strongest tallest trees thrive stronger live longer.
across time and space
lungs on earth for humans.

Nature teaching showing why
even poets lost in solitude
are as derooted weak trees
they shrivel and die

Here at Hello Poetry
we may willfully become stronger tightly rooted together
to grow taller stronger mightier
or perish for lack of unifying interconnectedness.
huddled root to root

I perceive a disconnection on H.P, among many poets
with thick long roots yet unable to stay connected with
one another in rampard discord  
some expecting benefits without any other concern but arrogance
and selfishness

Trusting unison powerful
indestructible succeeds interconnectedness.

Why not huddle up together
closer so noone deroots us.

i hunger for your view on this.
Nature is teacher at best
intermingling tightly
so closer in proximity
likewise
poet to poetess poem to poem
so that i may follow you
confident follow me
huddled up
root to root.
~~~~~~~~
By:Karijinbba
revised: 01-07-19
Union is power
I thank everyone who reads
very few honor me with your reposts
and i feel like a star when your own awesome impecable poetry
ignite brain storm magnificence
pure mind bending magic
i am learning from your greatness and i feel honored. In fact i learn even from those who jump the gun to judgements instead of asking me questions i am very sociable.
PEACE.
Dec 2018 · 1.2k
Amazing Grace
Karijinbba Dec 2018
I could say it to his face
all I felt like calling him
good or bad and he smiled
and immediatly I purred.
We even made a wtitten promise
of such enviable love
yet, we didn't put it in practice.

All stressed a Mom deceived threatened,
I parrot phrased to him his evil woman's cursing my MOM birthing me, and I lost him
He forgot his old written free speech oath to me.

My ancient king of hearts continued brewing my twenty year old wine in a barrel of heartache and pain leaving me behind amnesic, and death calm.

My Angel ran brewing an older woman's  wine
in his bed
and in cellar her wine next to mine.
Running from her many a time leaving her with a cold marriage contract on hand
while his heart and brain remained ever ONE with mine.

As her personal lubricant got dryer and dryer it was harder for my beloved to be intimate with the ugliest lawliar twoface snake
surgically enhensed
drug user insignificant other called wife.
And as her hatred malice greed and jealousy blew out of proportion so did her nasty brew on Outer Limits Twilight Zone
along with a breach of his trust
in her,
spoiling her own brewing wine to a nasty bitter moldy vinagar.
Yet to him all her potions remained ever secret
hidden behind smc sunflower smile, daughters and son used
to blindfold her selfish agenda.

Ever so covertly taunting cursing showing hate to me and my children was her banner.
Smc threatened us
by e-mails behind his back.

Blindfolded unoticed all went  his alcoholic stuppor was foe.

No justice he could brew on either of us yet my wine remained gold fit for kings
but susy viper apropriated it as her own
killing our free will dreams and promises of old.
My wine brewing pure gold
and his other woman smc's covertly brewing hatred where he held her in high regard.
There can't be peace without justice! BEGIN HERE!
if you ask where!
No peace he bestowed upon
his death calm, silenced slandered beloved Karijinbba!
he left behind...Me

Assassination of character is a method lawliars use to
succeed treachery stealing my perfectly aged wine and man

fooling my weary king of hearts
Jpcrdd

I felt so distant and small so,
I let his black hole seol crooked stich anchored to his dumbed down free will and all accounts
JUST HAVE IT ALL!

My dearest beloved deserved that **** viper for being such a low self esteem coward!
blind blndfolded drunk *****.

And I changed my name to
"Amazing Grace"
~~~~~~~~~~
Angelina San-Gutier..is my birth name (April, 16 10;30 AM.)
~Perhupetcha tribe, Mex~
and my wings Bba=Ginny
5-19 -legally given by a judge
as a witness protection's new identity (not that I was hiding any deceptions.)
~~~~~
By; Karijinbba
All R. R. a memour excerpt.
Have you been been so heartbroken by the insensitivity of the one you loved that you rejected who you loved the most in this life??

Have you ever been hurt so deeply that you deprived the object of your devotion of everything they ever loved the most to gain in you and from you?
It happensnto passinate firely lovers
like us..but I never **** to hurt anyone.
I LOVE LIFE!
if I didn't I would be
six feet under earlier.
Nov 2018 · 1.7k
Thanksgiving Nov 2018
Karijinbba Nov 2018
I thank you all poets poetessess moderators this thanks giving.
To one or two foe serpents in my paradise writing uglily to me on HP, I am sorry I had to block you and your friends since I am highly intuitive.
One of you posing as female sent me to your page drawing a page full of scissors! without a word in it very cruel sadistic of her an old poisonous snake from my old paradise hanously destructive. Another a female wrote mocking a woman aborting her child!! Abortion is legal to me only if medically adviced.
Grow a brain write, don't mock or judge me. The only child I aborted was one whose heart had stoped due to massive antibiotic dose prescribed by a butcher because MD he was not. That was my missfortune and your oportunity.
What is it to you anyway to write to me derrogatorily so?. It happened in my teens! Long ago. ENOUGH!
I had to block you. I am highly intuitive and gifted first pure blood RHO negative.
I know it's you even when you hide masked behind this HP mirrors.
Please make peace with your ghosts, head voices or seek medical psychiatric help, many of you need it. Poetry isn't to mock hate assault the mind heart and soul of fellow men and women who communicate beautifully even in their distress but evil won't be rewarded or tolerated not by me, if you play your holier than me role.

Theres plenty malice where I am no need for me to pay monthly to be cursed on here.
Please spread love, live life forgive yourself be genuine, share your true life experiences, instead of looking who to dishonor and hate.
For the one or two females who created an account just to spread evil grow a heart a brain and then tell us how you did it.
we might even apreciate your courage to share!
My past love life with wealthiest elite true love, sweetheart soulmate, twin flame isn't any of your business.

G* d, and cause and effect in the universe are my only judges not a malignant infective fungus poor excuse, a human **** like yourselves who tried to defile me unprovoqued undeserved and unsolicited.
You are forgiven and loved still but I had to block you. I don't reward or ignore destructive behaviors.
To all genuine poets moderators and poetessess be well
Happy Thanks giving this November 2018.
All the best to you all

As for killing a turkey,
for six years now, I forgive the turkey and spared it's life but I still have fun eating all other delights of season's greetings.

also I love and pamper myself
I am my own best friend
so that loving, tolerating and understanding others becomes that much easier and enjoyable.
Happy Thanks Giving
PEACE TO ALL FRIEND AND FOE
(!*:):;;;.
Nov 2018 · 2.3k
Friends or diamonds??
Karijinbba Nov 2018
Unfathomable
You think?
Just a poet hidden in a rhyme?

No Poet nor Poetess can
describe me re-invent create me
disintegrate or compare me
nor understand me
I am you I am him
I am even all of us
yet very unique as each one
of us is
only one of me on earth
interconnected to everything and everyone by nature
like we all really are!

I do sparkle in my birth chart
with an April's diamond
I am a mystic daisy
Aries is my Constelation
I was born to lead and the opportunity blossomed obscured by great pain and untimely loss.

only my old true love decided to get to know me behind my back using his strange methods as oposed to giving me a chance one on one face to face to
get to know me
impossible to know me through the slanderous affiliations of selfish jealous people who don't have my best interest!
if bad men and women who might envy me or feel rejected by me must help you decide where your heart is about me
you'll never know me at all!
you will be lost in the maze of your own ignorance and lose a chance to know me as a great lover great parent great wife greatest friend that you could ever have.
This isn't any wild thought of mine here. NO. It's my life how it has unfolded how I experienced  great fortune great love great loss rejection admiration
and how I had to heal all alone
because friends came not to me in this life time at all.
Most masculine gender saught only to use me and I got tired of them playing their nasty impersonal text photo **** games requested leading nowhere
Most married women envied me and were sickly unecessarily jealous of my unmarried non challant status and sincere platonic friendly disposition.

My dogs cats crows and raccoons
remained my better friends then any humans could ever be.

My few diamonds are forever though their sparkle never lied steal cheat nor deceive or commit treason,
OR DO THEY?
I tried singles adds for friendship but t.v's episodes of
"Mission Impossible" was
an easier task then finding even a friend much less a husband a best lover a good father
for my kids!
I tried chat lines most men seemed to be functioning through their ****** primarily and heartlessly offering to pay soliciting full trust so long as it was all between two strangers no strings attached, right unto instantly intimate chaotic
dangerous *** games
which I was never into any of it.

So I put my Kama-Zutra brain I inherited from my Mom and Dad inside a tini match box all to sleep.
A husband of my choice was forfeited
and a second one or third of my choice seldom materialized.
so I didn't settled never sold out.

My true love's diamond heart promised stayed in his coat pocket waiting for my
" jealous tears" now scintilates in another woman's finger.

I couldn't like her as a greedy drug user law liar manipulator much less be jealous of her answering your phone.
Much less be jealous of the *******'s calling photo card you showed me so I cry of jealousy and anger to earn your huge diamond ring!
You could have tried telling me
"I love you" then marry me,
filling my woumb with your beloved seed, and at last
stand by me;
  then I would be jealous only when and if, a real good reason to be jealous, existed!

Wasn't I ballanced in my emotions? beautiful in and out being self assured!?
Couldn't you reward that in me instead?
A beige yarn still wraps around my left ring finger today.
I guess in the end even my sparkling diamond betrayed me.

an **** insecure jealous greedy woman won it.
what's left for me are my pets my grandkids and my 41 undeserved unprovoqued enemies to busy myself with praying for!
and to finish my books depicting my ****, my almost paradise
a new heaven on earth
painfully forfeited.
I never sold myself to men never sold out, no. I don't regret it

but I regret not playing one man's game to earn my man back at any cost because in the end I still
very much remain loving one man no matter what he put me through
his kind of love was all worth it .
~~~~~
Welcome to planet Earth
jump into life!
~~~~
By: Karijinibba/ASG
All rights reserved.
Let's ransom positive energy from one another by understanding each other so we wont miss out on a perfect man and woman made for each other. I believe in rewarding the ability to ballance non destructive emotions instead of promoting unhealthy ones as means for a man to feel loved by a woman
or vise-verse.
Nov 2018 · 1.7k
"I fall in love"
Karijinbba Nov 2018
My old true love rdd=PC
wrote this poem to me on HP.
~~~~~
"I fall in love."
"Death would be liberating
but I wouldn't suggest jumping off a cliff"
                                               NO
"And for the life of me I hold on
to shaddy realities,
and an odd feeling of never being enough."

"I don't know what will happen"

IT IS ALL OUT OF MY HANDS

IT'S ALL OUT OF TIME"
~~~~
( my spontaniety of first thought)
my response 2018 is:

I fall in love.
and dearest true love of yore
from your holy hands
all your love for me
right into mine has fallen
precious twin flame
and here with me  love won't die
nor can unconditional love
in my hands ever perish

true love needs not be liberated
as no TREASON ever existed
you just got me ALL WRONG!

And since when orphanes in protective custudy hiding for their life after Feds and murderers buchered her family and loved ones in childhood throughout sdolecence years is  a criminal instead of a victim?
On a faulty witness protection program forcing victim to live as an exiled fugitive??
due to a horrendous liss of life

You simply didn't know me
for the task you and your brother assigned to me
and isn't it treason on your part to abandon an amnesic loved one
only because it wasn't written in an old script?
some lovers being in love
feeling betrayed and hurting
do jump off a cliff
like you did.
Still others jump into amnesic shocks becoming like I did
DEATH CALM!
I don't recomment either one!
both are equally distructive
forms of living in denial.
foolish ways to end a heartbreaking tragedy.

We were so identical twin flames from the inside thinking modes
both feeling so small
and never enough for each other!

And both so brightly colored in the outside with Gs light
very rare occurance
a triumph for the finding
worth the fame intended
worth the pain of defeat endured
for the best can only be bought at the cost of great pain and sacrifice!!
my pain went to sleep in an amnesic transformative shock
I have always loved you
and as you see I did jump!
Right into 'death' and 'knife'

Read my birth chart both Death and Knife remain a blessing and a curse to me such mystery
but both protecting me just the same!
two protective mechanisms
per the Mayan calendar

Death saving me from 'death'
and knife'cutting' through my pain a cold ice blade
there transforming me
Death Calm and silent!
I am not insensitive I feel love
death needs not be liberating
my soul knowing true love
will rest in peace with some regrets
I promised our unborn childten that no love fame nor great fortune would be greater then the love I feel for them all
and I kept my painful promise
but it was the end of me

In your eyes
I must have shrank smallest yet
misunderstood I go unless you read me here on HP the final fronteer unless you read
my memoir but we are both running out of time
lovers die in more ways than jumping off cliffs

precious love thank you for loving me
it hurt me very deeply to let you go so long ago
I am the woman who loves you the most in this whole wide world
I could have given my life for just one day though to have understood you
to have known what to do
what not to do,
where to go, where not to go,
what to say, what not to say.
what to think and what not to!
i didn't understand you!
so I feared you
I couldn't fight every greedy jealous woman for your love as the left behind
forgive me please beloved
I felt too small and worthless

I had no idea anyone on earth would love me
much less enough as to jump of a cliff to hurt that much for my life to benefit as new Eve
even changing earth with you
a worlds new adam Back then

I sincerely did not understand what you had planed to do after our loss
Life had only taught me
to feel insignificantly tini especially when being taunted
mistreated and challenged
abandonement syndrome
was my demise
your mind games and head riddles smothered my dreams
of you me for us

loving you more than
I loved myself was understood
very well that's what life
had taught me to do
to let go of everything I ever loved the most
when all life did was take chunks of my family and my life.
You were life's reward to me
without you by my side
I became speechless Dead Calm
stump like on Mothers day.

'sorry' can't depict the black hole
that has swallowed you
and me apart
nor pain depict the bottomless pit that living without you is

I too fell into my death
heartbroken as you announced
a JaneHilton freeway driving
in oposite directions was agony when in your letter
you wrote you had a wife!

I fell into the abyss and I died
I was only nineteen then

Then came **** getting me stranded at the fork road
all the way to **** Greece

smily kind penpal demons helped me up a plane ticket

two in all even married me not to avert authorities of my impending death with their treacherous agendas
IT WAS ALL STAGED
as was much of my life on earth.

I am glad we met
glad we loved each other
near or far
in G
s hands we both are.
excerpt from my Memoar written throughout my life.
Oct 2018 · 1.1k
A woman of substance
Karijinbba Oct 2018
I couldn't realize my greatness
much less your fascination in me depicted in your own eyes
and much less see yours
and a lot less understand then that I could have helped change earth.
I had no idea I could change my life debating if changing it between my real identity and the one the world gave me would even be a wise thing to do
naturally I was a small enchanted frog with a Queen of the forest stolen crown left in some small macabre pound
Impossible to hap across your huge ocean to be kissed and reign as a new Queen of Kemah
much less know
I had the power of love to help me govern your heart your spirit soul but I knew I was your
twin flame and I loved you at first sight.
Until I believed in myself I realized my greatness and yours plus the dreams you described
while alls gone to worp speeds
and black hole law witches
all beauty remained vissible
tangible neverending!
thats the magic of knowing
true love. It never dies.
I just never found anyone able to love me with the same passion ever again.
The many times I tried to move on even you and women you trusted played the authors of malice and treachery setting me up with your contacts to be used betrayed deceived and trashed,
so I live unmarried and free
knowing good and evil
deep in my core intuitive.
I am just a woman of substance,
AWAKENED! Aware!
to my here and now, that's me
and dear it hurt long and bad at times wishing I was never born but I preffer solitude from humans!
I still wish to thank you my precious true love,
you too universe for the rides!
the good and the bad
I am so eternaly grateful
just a woman of substance.
Awake
NA-MYO-**-RENGE-KYO.n
Oct 2018 · 1.4k
John Lennon's Song Yesterday
Karijinbba Oct 2018
"Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play."
said John Lennon in his song
and my love to me a long time ago.
I believe its better if
"when we love someone,
we do so unconditionaly, without any expectations in riddles or fill in the blank games on a cold computer screen -maleffic- mirror- button- pushing disaster!

Nothing beats the face to face
embrace a hug and a passionate kiss an " I love you"
of a true love
lost and~~~~?
~~~~~~

Lost~~~~~~~~
passion~~~~~
change~~~~~
earth~~~~~­~
~~~~~~

By: Karijinbba.
(Asg/Bba)
Lets see how many people can solve this cross word puzzle!!
please fill in the blanks
Karijinbba Oct 2018
Sadly I compare part of my life experiences to a wild CAGED Cheetah's wasted life
Think, for a moment, of a
cheetah, a sleek, beautiful animal, one of the fastest on earth, which roams freely on the savannas of Africa.
In its natural habitat, it is a magnificent animal, almost a work of art, unsurpassed in speed or grace by any other animal.
Now, think of a cheetah that has been captured and thrown into a miserable cage in a zoo.
or smoggled to another country
( like I was.)
It has lost its original grace and beauty, and is put on display for our amusement even sold
(like I was by a nun.)

We see only the broken spirit of the cheetah in the cage, not its original power and elegance.

like my life's experiences
the cheetah can be compared to the laws of physics, which are beautiful in their natural setting.
The natural habitat of the laws of physics is a higher-dimensional space-time.
However, we can only measure the laws of physics when they have been broken and placed on display like in a cage, which is our three-dimensional laboratory.
Likewise people who ventured
to come close to me could only see the pieces of me like
seeing the cheetah
when its grace and beauty have been stripped away
This too is true of many of us doesn't it?
What binds us to space-time is our purest mass, which prevents us from flying at the speed of light, when time stops and space loses meaning,
and no need to worry
if one day our sun will grow bigger burning all before it dies  because all this has been happening to my sun's life metaphorically speaking
men and women made sure I feel the end before I ran out of time.
All my life I sought for one single friend and I was lucky to find only one whom I was condemned to love more than I loved myself deeply enough to let him go.
The biggest mystery in my life was to have sacrificed my love life loving and surrendering all treasures to an unprovoqued undeserved irate ****
slandering many an enemy  
both near and far
both male and female.
~~~~
By: Karijinbba
All rights reserved.
(Do not repost thank you)
Is it better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all??
True love never dies no matter who benefits from it or who reciprocates
or not very few love unconditionally like I sincearly do. One thing is for sure I never want to be born to be a loser ever again
As God is my witness in my Gone with my wind kind of traggic life I will never surrender whats mine to another woman or man.
as true Love is worth fighting for
Oct 2018 · 529
Ahum! Easy one!
Karijinbba Oct 2018
I am the first on earth..
the second in heaven
I appear twice in a week
though you can only see me once in a year! What am I?
( Am i not a letter??
can you name it?
Karijinbba Oct 2018
I Rose Again and Again

Nor dread nor hope attend
A dying animal;
A man awaits his end
Dreading and hoping all;
Many times he died,
Many times rose again.
A great man in his pride
Confronting murderous men
Casts derision upon
Supersession of breath;
He knows death to the bone
Man has created death.

By: W.B.Yeats, for Karijinbba
~~
The malice of thiefs injured me nearly killing me st only age five;
Men (beasts) in uniform Greedy Feds killed my father five brothers and all grown man and boy in my Purhepetcha Indigenous tribe for the greed of my father's land
Man created death repaing evil for my good from the riches of my forest land they ate and lived as kings while I barely survived, but take heed I did rise.

On my father's shoulders my seahorse kind of dad beloved
he carried and adored me
my future he could read perfectly in our starry night sky and love for me happened exactly as dad had predicted it would be
from my fathers heart I thrived and I rose
and men I did love despite treason by few
~~~~~
By:Karijinbba/AA.
THREE HEROS LOVED ME MY FATHER MY OLD TRUE LOVE AN AMERICAN AN ELITE WISE KING OF HEARTS AND MY ADOPTIVE MOM ROSE WHO LOST HER LIFE TRYING TO PROTECT ME
BECAUSE OF THEIR COURAGE AND FORESIGHT TO BET ON MY FUTURE
I RISE EVER LOVING AND WISE
Karijinbba Oct 2018
To increase good fortune
like a tree of life.
A
AB
ABR
ABRA
ABRAC
ABRACA
 ABRACAD
 ABRACADA
  ABRACADAB
   ABRACADABR
     ABRACADABRA.
I changed!
got Wiser!
I didn't share my Knight
his destiny cursed Mom
birthing me! unprovoqued
playing us both
lover against lover
by chicanery deceit duplicity
backfiring deadly on me!
for his destiny to appear
wholly good being
more evil then good.
~~~SO NOW~
I create as I speak!
I won't disappear like the word
I was wholly good long ago
now I am more good than evil
ballanced rising beauty
Take heed though!
this really happened to me
not remembering this magic prescripted incantation
nor understanding it
a temporary memory loss
due to brain blood loss
Oh! many years ago
missing the mark
this timeless riddle
My loss was imeasurable!
I lost my true love.
Understanding it would have boomeranged me
joy happily ever after
Great fortune fame
True love priceless
along with saying
just TEN to fifty two
magic words
bellow:
I AM SORRY
I never meant to hurt you.
me fierce unborn protector
twas wrong medical advice
I love you, I will marry you
I will sing for you
No birthing task will ever be too hard for me to show love
love of my life
I surrender to you
do with me as you please
if your LOVE is my prise!
~~~~~
I demeanish misfortune
ABRACADABRA
in reverse below.
~~
why fail to question
my exasperated response to
ur e-mail why not ask about
original offender e-mailer!
the poisoner coiled
to your bed waiting
was your breach of trust!
irate culprit setting up discord
your destiny wrote saying
"I was unhappy because I didn't like the WAY my mother's p...y looked when I was born!"
all out of jealousy!
malice greed evile way of
deceiving a man to see
an **** deceiver
in more favourable light
it hurts doesnt it?
I returned fireball to smc
thinking viper still on to me
but it was you who got it!
uran back to wine-reward!
original offender dragging
you into her collapsing
black hole where
not even urlight escapes
your capricorn's revenge!
victims aren't fools!
foe is now exposed
youmemeuwins
ABRACADABRA
ABRACADABR
ABRACADAB
ABRACADA
ABRACA
ABRACA
ABRAC
AB­RA
ABR
AB
A.
~~~~~
By;Karijinbba
~All copy rights reserved~
~pc=rc=jpt-asg=aa=bba~
Abracadabra;
Take thee all thy wealth and treasures buried loot precious love
I wish for no other wealth from thee then to be thine wife from my virginity to have only thee one man one husband for the father of many of our children and to never know NO other man in this life or in many more, my Lancelott My King of Prussia PA Mont Davis,
Macchu-Picchu my highest
mountain climber lover
Hymalayan thee!
Abracadabra!
Its my wishing well coin wish for today since 44 Springs back.
Karijinbba Sep 2018
Cheetah me running free on the savannas of HP.
~~~~~~~
time and space are modes by which we think and not conditions in which we live
~Albert Einstein~
…...
As a PH-D Astrophisicist I see peoples circumstances
from endless angles.
and with Bohr’s standpoint  
that a space-time description is impossible, I reject a limine. Physics does not consist only of atomic research, science does not consist only of physics, and life does not consist only of science.

The aim of atomic research is to fit our empirical knowledge concerning it into our other thinking.
All of this other thinking, so far as it concerns the outer world, is active in space and time.
If it cannot be fitted into space and time, then it fails in its whole aim and one does not know what purpose it really serves.

When the dust settles, time whatever it may be could turn out to be even stranger and more illusory than even Einstein could imagine. Time May Not Exist',
I do not define time, space, place, and motion, as being well known to all.
I have tried to read philosophers of all ages and have found many illuminating ideas but no steady progress toward deeper knowledge and understanding. Science, however, gives me the feeling of steady progress:

I am convinced that theoretical physics is actual philosophy. It has revolutionized fundamental concepts it's about space and time (relativity), about causality (quantum theory), and about substance and matter (atomistics), and it has taught us new methods of thinking (complementarity) which are applicable far beyond physics.

Let me describe briefly how a black hole might be created. Imagine a star with a mass 10 times that of the sun.
During most of its lifetime of about a billion years the star will generate heat at its center by converting hydrogen into helium.
The energy released will create sufficient pressure to support the star against its own gravity, giving rise to an object with a radius about five times the radius of the sun.

The escape velocity from the surface of such a star would be about 1,000 kilometers per second. That is to say, an object fired vertically upward from the surface of the star with a velocity of less than 1,000 kilometers per second would be dragged back by the gravitational field of the star and would return to the surface, whereas an object with a velocity greater than that would escape to infinity.

When the star had exhausted its nuclear fuel, there would be nothing to maintain the outward pressure, and the star would begin to collapse because of its own gravity.
As the star shrank, the gravitational field at the surface would become stronger and the escape velocity would increase. By the time the radius had got down to 10 kilometers the escape velocity would have increased to 100,000 kilometers per second, the velocity of light.

After that time any light emitted from the star would not be able to escape to infinity but would be dragged back by the gravitational field.
According to the special theory of relativity nothing can travel faster than light, so that if light cannot escape, nothing else can either.
The result would be a black hole: a region of space-time from which it is not possible to escape to infinity.

The quantum is that embarrassing little piece of thread that always hangs from the sweater of space-time. Pull it and the whole thing unravels.
Where does Space-Time come from?
Is there any answer except that it comes from consciousness?
What is Out There? T’is Ourselves?
Or, is IT all just a Magic Show?
They are radical.

Henceforth space by itself, and time by itself, are doomed to fade away into mere shadows, and only a kind of union of the two will preserve an independent reality.

The whole fabric of the space-time continuum is not merely curved, it is in fact totally bent.

I am fascinated by the mystic spinning of planets satelites,
I am sure you do too?
The mystery of space stars the universe and thus I feel compelled to examin my own life as mother and a wife who couldn't be found in worshiping light in my graceful complete surrender finding in no husband not a protector but shameless foe
and instead was caged up
set aside destroyed forgotten
misunderstood! Even by nuns as an orphaned girl devoid of basic rights most of civil right violated
I marvel at my spirit soul zoaring
and finding joy in life and loving people sacrificing it all for the wefare of even my enemies;

sadly I compare part of my life experiences to a wild CAGED Cheetah's wasted life
Think, for a moment, of a
cheetah, a sleek, beautiful animal, one of the fastest on earth, which roams freely on the savannas of Africa.
In its natural habitat, it is a magnificent animal, almost a work of art, unsurpassed in speed or grace by any other animal.
Now, think of a cheetah that has been captured and thrown into a miserable cage in a zoo.
or smoggled to another country
( like I was.)
It has lost its original grace and beauty, and is put on display for our amusement even sold
(like I was by a nun.)

We see only the broken spirit of the cheetah in the cage, not its original power and elegance.

The cheetah can be compared to the laws of physics, which are beautiful in their natural setting.
The natural habitat of the laws of physics is a higher-dimensional space-time.

However, we can only measure the laws of physics when they have been broken and placed on display in a cage, which is our three-dimensional laboratory.

We only see the cheetah
when its grace and beauty have been stripped away.

What binds us to space-time is our purest mass, which prevents us from flying at the speed of light, when time stops and space loses meaning.
In a world of light there are neither points nor moments of time beings woven from light would live “nowhere” and “nowhen”
only poetry and mathematics
What makes the theory of relativity so acceptable to physicists in spite of its going against the principle of simplicity is its great mathematical beauty.
This is a quality which cannot be defined, any more than beauty in art can be defined, but which people who study mathematics usually have no difficulty in appreciating.
“But in the binary system, lets point out, “the alternative to one isn’t minus one, it’s zero. That’s the beauty of it, mechanically.” “O.K. Gotcha. You’re asking me, What’s this minus one? I’ll tell you.
It’s a plus one moving backward in time.
This is all in the space-time foam, inside the Planck duration,
don’t forget. The dust of points
gives birth to time, and time gives birth to the dust of points. Elegant, huh? It has to be.
It’s blind chance, plus pure math. They’re proving it,
every day. Astronomy, particle physics,
it’s all coming together.
~~~~~~~
By: Krijinbba-Scientist me
All right reserved
WHEN ALL THAT IS LEFT ;AND WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME THERES STILL STARS SONG FLOWER LOVING LIFE AND THE MAGICAL WISDOM OF THE ONE WHO ALWAYS FINDS ME AND SAYS MY ESSAY IS TO LIKE IT OR LOVE IT
AND THE ONE WITH THE GRASSY BLUES BENDING MIND AND LIGHT
MY GOD- LIKE -E.T.
"PHONE HOME"FIND ME.
Karijinbba Sep 2018
~~~~~~~~~~
Hello its me ScarlettRose
Nightingale
~~~~~
The exquisit image of the lark returns me to heaven and my soul cries woe have turned to songs of praise.
I thought of  how you bet your
love, and again I found you
all over again through a love magazine singles ad
dearest Knight my Lancelott
King beloved omnipresent
God-like heart of Gold.
twinflame beloved.
The wise universe knowing my inner core had returned you
back to me unaware of the mystery unfonfolding
  treasures, true love, fame and great fortune all mine for the taking.
Us together was treasure enough
when we were very young.
in Astlleros ship yard.
but your strange detective methods of going to a slandering previously rejected,
medically impotent man in lew of just taking time to know me and ask me your concerns my leaping zoaring love wàve
retracted
backfiring on us distrust
You left me hoping for me to go find you in wormhole loop but
time became our foe.
Unrequieted love sat in
suffering was unbearable.
No water quenched such love nor floods drowned it
and my best years went by to unexpexted motherhood
but children's carrussels kept whispering sad secrets from beyound and my heart couldn't be apeaced
~
Throught the years I became amnesic to rddbba treasures
I wished I was never born
kidnapped sadomized what a small price replacing death!
my babes and me barely alife.
but I thought
of your hands body and eyes on me and I felt all over in you
on a hill aroused,
I felt mentally fast awakene'd
able to show my inner core  feelings and cry openly
but I weeped mostly nights
secretly wistfully
for the nunnery had shot me down five hungry toyless chilhood dead-calm years.
Silenced as orphans are
my spontaniety of first thought responces to most questions failed and you thought I didn't love you! That was wrong!
I thought of your mind bending grassy tearful blues looking in awe at my pictures
my star gazer lover you gazing
at my starry looking eyes
scrutinizing mine absence
unaware of how much
I truly loved thee!
I thought of you arguing with tequila thinking of me
loving me missng me,
face to face thrilling me
patient as your true love can be
marrying me so that not even God could pull us appart

I thought of you thinking of me
and getting hard ons.
Spiritual and physical joys
were presented here
you were the perfect lover
Best husband best father best friend.
in this light your star shines on brightest over me
Oh how I loved thee! no other lover quenched mine vessel
spirit heart and soul!
Reversing the spell of the friendly fortune.
Inwealth trumps outer wealth state.
External wealth of a Kings state;
possessions, land, power
your nation
A lovers worth more then a Kings external internal states.
When in disgrace with fortune and mens eyes
I all alone beweep my outcast state
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself and curse
Wishing me like to no more rich in hope
Featured like him with friends possess'd,
Disiring tbis man's Art and that mans Scope,
With what I must enjoy contented least
With this thoughts myself almost dispising.
Haply I think of thee, and then my state,
Like the lark at break of the day arising,
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate,
For that sweet love
Remembered such wealth brings
that then I scorn to change
my state with kings.
~~
By! Shakespare and me
All Rights Revered and reserved.
Dear Rhett Rk J Paul I am sorry
Not a day, Not a day goes by
that I don,t think of you the good mostly The sacred Hill where the Road not taken bent down into the underground and Veracruz
You were the Love of my Life
sigh..
Karijinbba Aug 2018
Love Story byAndy Williams
'Unforgetable"
"I'll Be Seeing You."
"Can't get enough of your love"
"Are You Lonesome Tonight."
I'll Make Love To You"
"What a wonderful world"
Red red Wine
At Last.
"Yesterday" J.Lenon
~~~~
[ Nathan, Joseph-Pat-Rick ]
Close your eyes, make a wish
And blow out the candlelight
For tonight is just your night
We're gonna celebrate,
all thru the night

[Shawn Pat.Rick, J Paul Taylor ]
Pour the wine, light the fire
Guinevere your wish is my command
I submit to your demands
I will do anything, Karijinbba, you need only ask

[ Joseph-Paul-Patrick-Richard]
I'll make love to you
Like you want me to
And I'll hold you tight
Angelina-babe
all through the night
I'll make love to you
When you want me to
And I will not let go
'Till you tell me to

[Wanya, Shawn, Pat-Rick]
my true love AnKarijin,
relax let's go slow!
I ain't got nowhere to go
I'm just gonna concentrate on you the whole night through
My Kariginny are you ready?
it's gonna be a long night.
Throw your clothes (Throw your clothes) on the floor (on the floor)

[Shawn Wanja, Nathan, Pat-Rick]
I'm gonna take my clothes off too
I made plans to be with you queen bee mine Karin whatever you ask me, you know, I could do

[Angel'Q Karijinbba Chinny Chin]
I'll make love to you too
Like you want me to Rickie babe
And I'll hold you tight
My baby Pat
all through the night
I'll make love to you
When you want me to
And I will not let go
'Till you tell me to!

[Wanya,Shawn,PatRick, Nathan:]
Angeli'q Babychin
tonight is your night
And I will do you right
Just make a wish on your night
Anything that you ask
I will give you the love of your life, your life, your life
love of my life.
~~~~
Boys To Men: For:Karijinbba.
start 54-(74-95)-05.end.
This songs I choose to play on my HeadStone...when I die.. To all the man who sang and danced with me.
even if it was only a Scripted love. sigh..PLEASE DON'T LAUGH BECAUSE WHEN I WAS DONE HERE I LAUGHED SO HARD MY TOMMY HURT;so did my daughters.
Aug 2018 · 2.1k
I Rose Again and Again
Karijinbba Aug 2018
Nor dread nor hope attend
A dying animal;
A man awaits his end
Dreading and hoping all;
Many times he died,
Many times rose again.
A great man in his pride
Confronting murderous men
Casts derision upon
Supersession of breath;
He knows death to the bone
Man has created death.

- W.B.Yeats
For:Karijinbba
Me just a child confronted
murderous men at only age five
nearly killing me men in uniform Greedy Feds killed my father and every man child in my Purhepetcha Indigenous tribe for the greed
of my father's land I hid iñ the chicken coop and lived
Man created death repayng evil for my good from the riches of my land they ate and lived as kings
while I barely survived, I did rise I grew up and I also was Loved and kissed.. Again betrayed injured I was and dying I still rose and still I rose and still I rise again and again¡
I guess I am supernatural. Something always tried to **** me and something else rises me and kept me stumped but living. I love life babies children the wise eye of the aged. I love the Knight spirit breath of life  side in men, .music, poetry song with these I thrive I rise and rise..
my friends Poets and poetessess thank you for RISING up to read.
Karijinbba Aug 2018
John Lennon's songs
"Yesterday" and "Imagine."
Lennon was asking us
to imagine a place where things that divide people religion, possessions, did not exist.

Would Earth be a much better place to live?
This song is a strong political message that is sugarcoated in a
beautiful melody Lennon knew that a gentler approach would bring one poetic song to a wider audience who would grasp
his creed, and he like Jesus tried
to change the world and like a thorn bird both paid a price

Change while innebitable encounters an abyss of resistance
but just one immutable voice
one tini stone into a sand pool creates the meaningful ripples needed to speed up the initial spinning force.

Imagine how hard it is to "imagine no possesions" when one's personal worth is in the vicinity of half a billion bucks.
IMAGINE was the best song in Lennon's entire career

As the collective imagination of our species produces actual occurrences and manifests our own destiny.
Science has proven that our upper levels of consciousness are linked and the more people that become aware of truth and reality force the rest of the species to evolve.

Fact: We have receivers and transmitters attached to your neurons that vibrate energy "Imagine" by John Lennon
his lyrics on this album
on "Oh My Love."
tells you where he is
"I see the wind I see the trees, everything is clear in my world"

He was feeling being alive he as a poet was expressing to us the intimacy of life.

Imagine was a wish an aspiration.
No war no possessions!

The song coined from Yoko Imagine from her book Grapefruit espoused a world without war weapons and mad men running the world.

He knew we needed liberated women to make the world a better place to effemanise soften male aggression.

It is not about atheism but it is about RELIGION using it as a means to hate not LOVE.

He, like us wondered what created everything that mattered in all our lives a special song by a special human in a special place at a very special time, the song holds a very special place for me
If we all imagine, but finding the secrets of our conduct.

How we resolve ourselves.
Can we win when we lose?

Imagine,  Yesterday, What a Wonderful World, Blowing in the Wind, Amazing Grace and a handful of other songs still give me chills each beautiful song.
And all well-intentioned.

Too bad it is about communism and is misguided.
Man's evil didn't start with nations, possessions or religion.

We were stealing from each other and slaughtering each other well before any of those things existed since pradise fell
We started to CHANGE that.

Our goal isn't to have NO nation. Our goal is to have ONE nation.
for peace on earth
to reign under God.
~~

( In memory of my true love
jPC/Rc who Sang to me his song
"Yesterday" in Veracruz!) He too tried to change earth but I didn't understand him so I feared him and lost the chance to join him reciprocating timely, our love was key. True love was in me for him too but free will faltered. Love cannot be made perfect in fear.
Two hearts that beat as one. Two minds and one single thought throwing one single stone creates a riple effect that can change the world may we cast our rock and may a poem become the moving action ripple effect yo change from within one person at at time?
~l Rights reserved.~
Aug 2018 · 6.2k
Rumi's Mirror
Karijinbba Aug 2018
Be Lost In The Call
Lord, said David, since you do not need us,
why did you create these two worlds?
Reality replied: Oh prisoner of time,
I was a secret treasure of kindness and generosity,
and I wished this treasure to be known,
so I created a mirror: its shining face, the heart;
its darkened back, the world;
The back would please you if you’ve never seen the face.
Has anyone ever produced a mirror out of mud and straw?
Yet clean away the mud and straw,
and a mirror might be revealed.
Until the juice ferments a while in the cask,
it isn’t wine. If you wish your heart to be bright,
you must do a little work.
My King addressed the soul of my flesh:
You return just as you left.
Where are the traces of my gifts?
We know that alchemy transforms copper into gold.
This Sun doesn’t want a crown or robe from God’s grace.
He is a hat to a hundred bald men,
a covering for ten who were *****.
Jesus sat humbly on the back of an ***, my child!
How could a zephyr ride an ***?
Spirit, find your way, in seeking lowness like a stream.
Reason, tread the path of selflessness into eternity.
Remember God so much that you are forgotten.
Let the caller and the called disappear;
be lost in the Call.
The mirror of reality. A wise human
Gathers a persons ***** laundry out {as a man gathers sticks and laying them on the fire a viper might show up to bite {so might an angry person whose ***** laundry is out in the open he might let out his inner peace or wrath. We all are steered by something an idea or belief that might be our triumph or our demise.. Careful what you say in anger control it or it will control you...speak no evil hear no evil see.no evil . Mirrors have hidden camaras live as if all is viewing you with a microscope let it become a habit but dont freak out be transparent ..i know it happened to me and i lost more then my temper.
Karijinbba Aug 2018
Speak
When you speak I see cascades of life.
Life and light tend to look the same.
Your light is turquoise and the color of jade sitting just beneath the surface of choppy water.
When you speak I feel heat.
You have yet to burn me.
You are the steady warmth of new born embers of a fire
yet to blaze. When you speak I smell salt water.
Even with a sting, you’re the most refreshing thing.
The ocean is not as paradoxical as your passionately
calm surface. When you speak I taste loneliness.
Bitter sweet like underripe tangerines.
I cannot know this beautiful mind of yours without encountering  cold, rusty, metal walls
When you speak I hear midnight.
You know how to play the silences.
I hold my breath waiting for the next sentence you’re carefully, mysteriously orchestrating. Whisper or shout
speak to me againHole in my heart
Speak Karijinbba Beloved!
Never had a problem speaking was friendly yet cautious--bit shy when meeting people who seemed to have me under a microscope as an adult yet still enjoyed listening to them speak my true love was my best teacher in the above but he never hung around long enough to break the ice nor he just poped the question I was to beg cry sing for him ask him to marry me but I was a hybrid  ET Cindi couldn't order the mice to help me out much less ask a king to be mine
i observed body language what they say and not say i deciphered the in betweens the thing NOT revealed All gets recorded in our memory bank. As a child I was silenced in a nunnery five years not allowed to speak but only with Yes or No by an evil nun as a hate crime.a form of turture
The subconscious sees hears feels tastes eats drinks it all-it's our photografic memory recorder for everything good and. bad!
We get to experience, right?
the tangible and intangible things we are that thing which God created in his image I did learn to Speak read even other languages in time i overcame that grip of evil, uderdtanding the beauty and ugliness in SIlence!. By the way Karijin my poetic nick name is a lovely hole in Australia it looks like a woomb giving birth to blue waters a honeymoon trip I missed along with my beloved groom Pc/rk.
~All tights received.~
Karijinbba Aug 2018
My compass points to you
You are My True North
Love of my life
King of Prussia PA
Your photo and your Rose touching my lips daily
Acompany me
  Your mirror here besides my bed and Oh, my love
When I feel lost, I look into it
To know where and who I am
My old True Love
you are my orienting point
my fixed point in a spinning world that helps me stay on track as an Aries leader woman. It is derived from my most deeply held beliefs, values, and the principles I lead by.
It is my internal compass, unique to me,
representing who I am at my deepest level.
It's the best I can doWhile you are here with me
in spirit Because you can't be here in person
To care for me
Beloved
A woman always has an internal compass pointing always north to some Camelot place over the rainbow where dreams that she dears to dream do come true. And some woman like me feeling lost looks
at the mirror compass left behind by a great true love she
failed to bind when the wounds that bleed in a womans heart were too fresh to grab his love at once in a life passer by man a king a photom of light streaming through space thats what most all good.things of true love
In life can become
ALL but a whisper..is Love
and ALLbut a whisper is life.
Karijinbba Aug 2018
I surrender to you
do with me as you please
I rather share you than lose you
Love of my life
Sing and dance with me
with the violins
loving you, loving me
the whole night through
The mornings long
The evenings long
LOVE OF MY LIFE
Lover of life, my true love
Your way is better than mine
I come to reciprocate.
Call me wife best lover
best mother, best friend
Giver of life love of my life
Call you husband best lover
best father best friend
loving you the nights long
the mornings long
the evenings long
sing and dance with meee
with the violins, lover of life
my first love, my last love
Take us on a boat ride,
To a place that only you know.
Wbere the waves, can wrack
our boat, while
we wrack away, our love.
Loving you, loving me,
  the whole night through.
The mornings long,
the evenings long, love of my life

Camp with me underneath
the starry night sky.
Two hearts, beating as one.
Two minds,
and one single thought,
I love you, I adore you
I am worshiping you
Sing and dance with me,
my Lancelott, you're my Knight
Lover of life, my true love.
your star seed I am
galactic seed,
Yellow Self, Existing Star.
Always flowering enter me
Heaven vibrates in me
 Only with a guru sage
Twin flame like you
you are the bridge.
I give my life to save yours
If only you should ask.
Change my name
aline my life
Let's change the world.
as you smile I will purr
April's daisy is me
Aries me, diamond yours
scintillating to sparkle you
can't you see me
then polish me, some more
sing and dance with me
my King drone mate with me
your queen bee
in mid air fourty times
Lovin' you lovin' me
Giver of life my true love
I love you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
All rights reserved.
Revised: 8./27/18
All R reserved
In memory of~Rdd/bba.~
~1974.75-1995_2005.~
My wedding theme song written for me by my first true love recaptured
from my hidden
photographic memory bank..
Aug 2018 · 166
Boomeranged Poetess
Karijinbba Aug 2018
This bumerang effect
I thought it was a dream, I thought it wasn't real
But pain really hurts and it's really how I feel
Memories keep coming back, and so do all of the tears
I hear your voice, and as quick as the smile came, it quickly disappears
I don't know what is happening, because you always held my hand
You said you would never let go, that is what I don't understand
So many promises you made, and more of them broken
Lost and confused, feels like I'm choking
A lot of things I did not say
Now I can't find my way
I feel like a boomerang, you throw me but not only that
Every time you throw me, I always seem to come back
Back to you, back to pain
Nothing has changed, you're still the same
I cannot start over because I don't know where to start
I guess that is what happens when someone breaks your heart
If we are supposed to follow our dreams, why can't I follow you
Because now I am so lost, I wish you were lost without me too
All my life I felt boomeranged thrown
And i came back ashamed feeling like an aunt small dead calm in shock more lost then found speechless.
Boomeranged lost and found and found again yes i touched you I kissed youI had tasted you and swallowed
you to no abay you were all mine in spirit but physically upsent-that much I knew. Later on you pcrc even wrote that you would be mine for the taking when pcrc knew my real birth name if i'd met you half way but pcrcjpt wouldn't call or email me
your photo because you knew I knew you. it was only a safety issue for me since everything had been compromised to criminals and i had been kidnaped i couldn't risk my childrens life...meeting a man who wouldnt let me hear your voice nor see your present photo naturally you pcrc were protecting your married life you wanted to be taken from her but i wanted you pcrc to divorce her first on your own!
so boomersnged as i was i let your **** monkey face **** emasculinated black hole destiny concubine keep your *** and your many banks and mine among them. I know deep down in and out smc is an **** two face murderer. Smc killed our love our life and our children were never born our geneology never intermingled later either because you d mentioned marrying her in the past in the beginning!oyou lost me right then.
So i raised fatherless children the devil would have been a better ***** donor father then the human trafficant poisoner I ran to broken hearted.!all because of your evil lies fake names saying you'd gotten married back then in my youth
when you werent and in fact you were waiting for me. Yes i am only human too i didn't understand you. I loved you pc.just to reapear twenty years later saying you were my true love just to soon turn atound and marry smc and again leaving me behind.,!! finding me again leaving me again and hoping i rescue yout *** from your viper concubine smc and her greedy daughter!
I rather be Boomeranged then to.live with an idiot who can't ask me to.marry him upon finding me again! again and again!
what a nightmare.!!you were pcrc.!!
what a hearache heartbreak dwarf Duntz Richard troll you were to me.pc
Aug 2018 · 844
Chinny Chin
Karijinbba Aug 2018
"Chin chin chinny
Chinny is in love
in love
with whom?
one might ask!
In love with life it's plain to see
also in love with me!*
~~~~~
~unto forever"
across the miles time and space mind soul heart
belly, thighs
and in the midst
spirit breaths of life
yours and mine joined live.
~~~
~All rights reserved.~
~~Unbequieted lovers ~~
18-22/74.95-18
poets:P/C/ham &Anilegna S.Gbba
~~~patrkpatrk~
Aug 2018 · 1.2k
Return my Angel to me
Karijinbba Aug 2018
His Angel came flying downand landed right in front of me
He put his arms around me he looked DEEP into
my eyes and he said "I am leaving you,
I hope the lessons of our past lives can sustain you"
through the coming tough times.And just with that my Angel
flew up up above and he disapeared.
~
~All Rights Reserved.~
The day he took my Guardian Angel from me is now an eternity.
Return my Angel to me...
Aug 2018 · 5.4k
To win
Karijinbba Aug 2018
For the WIN! Heed to this facts
be aware of your thoughts your surroundings
discearn golden silence choose kind speech
practice patience understand self and others
practice good deeds enforce free will
confront defeat don't fear the unknown,
Change is good for the soulthese alone will mold
your heart and spirit soulto guide your life
to success triumph avoiding most calamities

revised: 8/01/18
I write from personal experiences Iived like a leave in the arms of the winds. I didnt know how to help myself to win and avoid losing
when I didn't choose life chose for me and bad wolves too. Had I known this simple steps to winning
my love life bank and good fortune would be an eternal garden of sprouting something ever after!
so help you me GOD
Aug 2018 · 176
Less
Karijinbba Aug 2018
Where is my poem
you might
ask?,
everyone tells me
I write too long
and too much
So here is it
LESS
IS MORE!.
Short and sweet
I am getting better
as a less is more poetess
Jul 2018 · 1.5k
Insurance Fraud
Karijinbba Jul 2018
There was a very cautious man
Who never laughed or played
He never risked, he never tried,
He never sang or prayed.
And when he on day passed away,
His insurance was denied,
For since he never really lived,
They claimed he never died.
Jump into life lose win grow shrink live hate cry love love and love children men women cat dog anything share what you learn so others won't have to suffer.
Jul 2018 · 912
Interconnectedness
Karijinbba Jul 2018
Unfathomable
You think?
Just a poet hidden in a rhyme?

No Poet nor Poetess can
discribe me or create me
disintegrate or compare me
nor understand me
I am you I am him
I am us
Nature interconnected
I am the sparkle in an April's
diamond
I am the Aries Constelation
Far and near
On free will
My essence has no beginning no end such as the way I love
I am omnipresent
Indiscriminatory
Undescerning
I am invissible
Yet everything and everyone
Exists because I do
I give life I create and
Transform
From stable to unstable
You can feel me in any of my forms and in many
You crave me avoid me
But good bad or indiferent
I am you
You are me
I am pure energy
What you do with me my poems
Or yours poetic rhymes
You simply do to yourself
this enery
Glues us together
For good or for evil
Whio am I?
The energy you and
Me are
Immortals beloved
Perhaps
A piece of God's
Unfathomable
Pure
Energy.
We are God's E
Energy
Jul 2018 · 4.4k
What dreams may come
Karijinbba Jul 2018
I STILL EXIST- I STILL EXIST
My pen writes
I still Exist

and an empty feeling engulfs me
I am painting a purple tree
I tell my family counselor
That the paint reminds me
Of arsenic Greek cheese dust
That a human predator
two faced fiancee
placed on my green salad in 1976
He said he would teach me how Greeks killed with love at sea
Then kindly offered
To bring
breakfast and lunch
for me in bed
(Ladden with poison)
While I ate it he danced Zorba the Greek!
His jealous raicist medeas mistresses knew his past crimes
I didn't I was very naive
his superstitious ignorant parents twelve people  asked him to Get rid of me baby and all

Overdosed with pitocin for a cow
giving birth was a torture
then blood thinners
were added to slowly
end my life
A hate crime because I a sub human born in Mexico not Greece
The poisons caused
a chest malformation of my daughter requiring surgery
later in life was mis-diagnosed
as pectus scavatum
but I knew better it was
attempted ******
a chilling secret I was so ashamed to reveal

I did escape my kids and me
we survived  the memory
of my true love's loving ways
In America saved me from certain death there I was 75 lbs
When I escaped ****
Greece
But salads gave me
Nausea through the years
I could never recall why

Painting gets my mind
Off painful memories
resurficing examining my life understanding me and others

I have many regrets unwittingly
my loving innermost feelings
temained trapped inside
and I lost my true love

Foolish online Ink
One involuntary bad deed
In Veracruz
Two SAD songs

My shrink says I have a beautiful
Soul a relentles spirit
That I managed to do better then
Most despite hellish adversity
A childhood marred with
heartbreak a trail of
Graves tree stumps
Coffin and treassures
Spirit breath of life and death
  
My hybrid race was secret
Poverty lack of Rhogam
My father the Apocalyto
Hero killed by MEX Feds
Who stole my Land
We are indigenous
Purhepecha tribe
The enemy of the Aztecs
So me my father's little queen of the forest his STAR could
Fly high and zoar
He was the love of my life
My dad David

A few days of effexor RX can bring about amnesia to block old kidnapping memories of turture resurficing unsolicited
Effexor to stop tears
regulating serotonin disrupted
After a car accident with traumatic head injury concoussion brain swelling so much that falling asleep for three months was impossible

MD prescribed just a trial
few warp eight mind bending Effexsors serotonin reuptakers
For only fifteen days
Half of thirty seven mg
Tears stopped immediatly a calmnesss
self assured old me demeanor
re-emerged I remember the arsenic and blood thiner injections the faces of sadistic jealous women but it didn't hurt

But soon my heart began to speed up so fast I could hear it beating in my ears at lowest dose

so the higher dose was not allowed.
Side effects if used longer than six months could make the
face to twich! who needs that!

So therapy ended slowly redusing small to smallest dosages for fifteen days
treatment ended
Don't like messing with my brain

Today I enjoy simple pleasures
echos born like me in
In the atlantic mystery

family time my lifetime best
best lover best Mother
nest friend to me myself
Remembering those few
Souls
Who deared greatly
their wisdom and foresigh to bet
On my future my light myself!
my father's little
Queen of the forest tribute to
My Once Upon A Time
True love his love songs
His poems quickening me
Awaking me
He was the love
Of my life my true love JPC/RC

He showed me he loved me
But he never could "tell me"
He loved me all my fault
Thinking back not ever
any other man told me
he loved me one or two boys wanted something from me freely given or taken by force from me
I didn't want them at all
No person growing up
Ever
Told me they loved me and most showed me my life didn't matter
many of my civil rights were violated throughout my life by thugs hainas had more charm
Only my father David San chez
and later my adoptive Mother mommy dearest told me once she loved me showed me she cared.
My children tell me and show me
They love me
Sometimes they hate me too
sadly they are under the spell of deadly sterile drug user enemies who assassinate my character lie and slander me to my grown daughters and I have now become estranged until they figure all out on their own so they learn to fight woolves in sheeps clothing and understand treason
and ungratefulness towards their own mother
There was only one man I loved
The MOST on this whole wide world
His ink scripted love remained the good intermigled with evil
Forever a part of me
My Lord Shiva my first teacher
My sage my guru
My Lancelott
Me  first love my last love
my tree of life he was
The only man I ever loved
and lost
Looking back
I thank G** King Jesus
King Arthur
And few other men who
Traveled in and out my door
Only one had my lock's key
I am glad you came along
I sing this last song
In memory of all the good
The bad and very bad
The few nefarious vipers I kissed
I forgive you all forgive you me for NOT
Understanding you
For loving those fellowmen
Who didn't know how to love me back
I wave my last
Good bye
I
Will
In your light and my own
Pray for you and me

As for the love of my life
"You are like a prayer
In church to God"
"I remembet you,
as someone something
VERY DEAR and precious"
You were the Best
You touched my STAR
And my starry skies sparkle
With your light remember me
in the same light my love
Look me up with your telescope
When you watch the stars
From your sun roof
In your bedroom

Find my Aries Constelation
For there is
My home
Without
You
I've taken with me a piece
Of Veracruz
A Mothers Day surprise
at the Hilton
raised in your arms on a warm June at a  bar
Where i felt like a bride
your bride

I almost asked you then and there to throw a big party
for you and me
But the monastery's dead silence
Growing up isolated
Silenced the spontaniety
Of thought you required of me
yet again!You regressed me you
tried in so many ways for me to
tell you  "I love you I am sorry
I'll marry you!"
All over again
I adored you remember this
Always.
Look me up with your telescope I AM
in The Aries Constelation I am Aprils daisy Aries diamond a
Yelow Self Existing Star says the Tzolkin Star Seed
Galactic seed always flowering....Enter me
Yours Always.
~~~~~~~
Revised 11-29th-2018
Excerpt from my memoir
auto biography
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Karijinbba Jul 2018
I have been shy with you
because in secret I SIN
THINKING OF YOU
until I melt in your arms
like a candle all night
shy I will be
Unrequieted I've become
LOVE OF MY LIFE!
in secret I remained loving you
all of my life since we met
when I've been all alone
mad passionate love
I made to you
all the night long
but mostly
I  missed you that much more
when I wasn't all alone
and that was my misfortune  
in secret I learned how to
be loving to you
after you left me p/r
just like Rhett
left Scarlett
I wasn't greedy in this life time
I've seen what
jealousy and greed
can do to lost souls
hating me for the absence
of what they had in excess
ignorance and superstition
many a time they did hurt me
unprovoqued
some bid to take my life
and I did weep
I did CRY for your love
for many other reasons
too painful to mention
my lover of life you
I MISSED YOU SO
knowing me was loving me
had you given me a chance
it got harder not to miss you
as each desolate year flew by
cruel Mr time added penance
to my treacherous path
another queen
took your heart
reading into my soul's
inscripted scarler "A"
my heart resigned in a void
when despair plunged  
your daggar on me
many times I promised myself  
to show you love if you ever
returned
I planed to blindfold me  
or meet you in the dark
that you may see my secret
stars sparkling in full array
to earn your love back
I planed to blindfold you too
  to break the
nefarious silence and gap
so you could feel how identical
from every angle we were
interchangeable twin flames
what a rare occurance
that is
the sun light of God
in you face did blind me
the look in your grassy eyes
burned me up
blew me or re-arranged me
froze numb me
only you had that power on me!
you too the light of God
in my face you could see
all sumissive to you
the years now passed
its Winter love
my old lovers, silence, grief martirdum & regret
refused to leave me alone
how I hated them!
and then some
the bad with the well intentioned ones I also refused
my inner core loved only you

please thaw me slowly now
don't dig your knifes in me
can't you see
I've put everything to sleep
who can live in your love without you
in every life time you left me
for another woman
and
each time I took my life
in jealousy I drowned
in silence I died
WHO AM I?
  the woman who loves you
the MOST
in this whole wide world
THAT'S WHO
Karijin! Jump in my pool
now all my lovers have
finally given up and left me
if you still wish to see me cry
USE honey HUG me
kiss me with your Rhett kiss
spirit breath of life
and if you can't
look at your STAR
in your bed
remember my
constellation is Aries
Gods love bid we should
have married
once upon a time
to change the world.
no more class rich could
marry  poor
You changed my life, love
you Rocked my world
I love you forevermore
LOVE OF MY LIFE.
don't dig knifes to see me cry for my diamond or my wedding ring try k uphoney to catch my honey bee. Sorry I stung you I died in pain love of my life
I loved you with a love which had no beginning no end omnipresent you remained my twin shy mam
Jul 2018 · 6.7k
Lark to Nightingale
Karijinbba Jul 2018
There is a legend
about a bird
which sings just once in its life. more sweetly than any other creature on the face of the earth,
From the moment it leaves
the nest it searches for
a thorn tree,and it does not rest
until it has found one.
Then singing, among the savage branches, it pales itself upon the sharpest spine. And dying, it rises above its own agony
to outcarol the larkand the nightingale.
One superlative song,existence the price.
But the whole world stills to listen, and God in His heaven smiles.
for the best is only bought at the cost of great pain....Or
so says the legend.This resonates deeply within me
because being an RHO negativeMother every Gyno MD advised
termination of my unborn a malicious prejudice
even called me hybrid race! the medical database is WRONG  
I SAVED three of my children they were born
they live the loves of my life
Its true with me too the best is only acquired at the price of great pain and sacrifice
If lucky and awake our heart and own intuition will know to aim for the best  Thanks for your time dear poets.
The legend piece is anonymous
but it came to me
and I accepted it as my very own.
Jul 2018 · 18.0k
Night under the mirror
Karijinbba Jul 2018
Eventually I did put a face
to  your loving cues your emails
It had been so long since your destiny had asked you my King
to marry her
that hunting jealous day that began much earlier under a 1975 degree celcious and did burn us to a crisp
Nothing would have given me more assurance more pleasure  such a gracious challenge to a  mysterious
proposition to dig my heart
for the final blow
one queen for his other
prior queen bee me
Karijinbba
and a winner I would have been
all night with my King
under the mirror!
to obliterate her wedding band
from his hand
how loving of you cupid of mine
always digging at my heart
for my heart of gold
then came cause and effect of karma blowing up our plans
another King Brad appeared with roses and diamond ring
in hand he had no mask just an hidden agenda
he took my children to his Mom
to make his other queenjealous and I took the bate
for just one hour both my King and Brad
had chosen he same photo E-mailed among several
to both
the picture was the same summer dress I wore with the king I loved someone something from beyond
mirrored the scene in this life to cause and effect
it showed my lovea simple approach to
a woman's heart
and me that the woman he married giving her a diamond ring taking her and son to his Mom was more to make
me jealous and fight for his love
an invisible revolving door had opened both to win
both to lose
had bid the greatest game
of love
beware of Karma
to catch a true king FOCUS
don't take bates don't settle for new when the heart is taken  by a true love.
my king was found by his wife
and I returned Brads diamond
lesson played leasson learned
then came the clock ticking
tax collector King Mr Time
he took my hand
paper INK and pen
to script a new
poem its Winter he said
HOW DO YOU
WANT ME TO KISS YOU?
and a new revolving door
appeared.
How do you think a and how do we feel about the one we truly love a nail can't take another out its the heart that will break and the loss is an unsurmountable abyss beware open your eyes FOCUS one single thought two hearts that beat as one cannot distract nor settle and never take a new lover if our heart loves another
Jul 2018 · 2.1k
He will come again
Karijinbba Jul 2018
Let not your heart
be troubled
ye believe in God
King Arthur Lancelott
PC RC JP T
believe also in me.
In my father's house are
many mansions
if it were not so
I would have told you.
I go to prepare a place for you.
And if I go and prepare a place for you I will come again
and receive you unto myself
that where I am
there you
will be also.

John,14-3.

Karijinbb/RCPc/bba
When our loved ones leave us behind in the hands of The Lord as they can't be here to watch us and love us
in person, but ONLY IN SPIRIT if they promise to .
Jul 2018 · 5.8k
The invitation
Karijinbba Jul 2018
You are invited to come
to dine with me
From now through all Eternity, Believe in the father, Son, and the Holy Ghost
And dine with the Lord
as your host
To live in Heaven Eternally,
All you must do is.? 

R.S.V.P
~~
Kariinbba: Inspired by bible.
For years I looked at this words framed on my walls along with Foot Prints"until I remembered Lancelott my knight had mailed it to me on a card 40 years ago and just Like that he pierced my heart with his bow, his ray of light and my cup of thorns was no more
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