Trying to find myself
A lifetime of effort
With no beginning
And no End
Going down one-way streets
The wrong way
Ending up in dead-ends
Long times of searching
With nothing to show

I know the ‘what’, but not the ‘who’
The ‘what’ is easy
The ‘who’ unfathomable
The mirror tells the outer story
The dreams maybe the inner
What do my actions and reactions
Tell about who I am?
Are my moods, my happiness, and sadness
Linked to my essence, the ‘who’?

Will I know only for sure
After I die, when I am just soul?
Are the answers in this other dimension
Never to be known in physical life?
Why do I need to know ‘who’ I am?
Is it not enough to know ‘what’ I am?
Would I live my life differently
If I knew ‘who’ I am?
I guess I will never know

If your sky is grey
let me paint it blue,
if you need love
I’ll love you.

If your heart is broken
I’ll wrap you in my wings,
I’ll sing a sweet song
reassurance it will bring.

If you need a friend
I’m always there,
I’ll pick the stars
and place them in your hair.

When you feel alone
don’t be afraid to call,
for I’ll always catch you
if you stumble and fall.

If you’re sad and blue
just remember,
I’m your friend
I’ll always love you!

Use your heart less,
But don't be heartless!

Use your mind more,
But don't mind more!

What if I just sat myself in the chair with open ears to silence?
In quiet, would the voices play over and over, even then?
What if I unplugged myself for a moment, no longer?
Would it be time enough to see the vitriol I become?
In quiet, would my love be renewed?

In quiet, would I realize the pain created by hating the hater?
More than disparate views, I hate anger. I hate violence.
The master's walls resist the master's tools, I read it.
Even she, she would despise my guise. "Oh, really?"
She'd maybe say, "Get lost. Be gone." I feel it.

What do I do when I'm part of the crew hated?
Do I spend my days hiding or out fighting?
What do I do when I'm part of the crew hated?
What if I want to change minds and hearts slowly?
What if sudden, forceful changes break us?
I think you know the answer -- we're primed to explode

And I don't
Believe a racist, transphobe will ever love me, or learn me.
And I don't
Believe a word, a turn of phrase, deserves a bullet in the brain.
And I don't
Believe for a second that I'm anything but truly naive.

And I don't
Believe that's bad.