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 Jan 2019 unnamed
blackbiird
Sometimes cutting is
Easier than pretending
I’m not hurting.
Sometimes cutting is easier
Than saying I’m  okay
When I’m  really dying
On the inside.

Sometimes cutting will
lead to a decision I
Can’t take back.

save me.
 Jan 2019 unnamed
amber
I rip myself apart,
piece by piece.
I place bits of my heart,
into your hands.

you step on me.
burying my body,
beneath soil.
no mercy,
in your eyes.

you were never aware,
of all that manifested,
beneath my shell,
deep within my heart.
so why would you mind,
tearing it apart?
 Jan 2019 unnamed
Thepillar
My demon,
My demon,
How you have corrupted me!
And showing me everything we could never be.
Leaving me to question my morals,
My ideals,
My religion,
For the idea of love.
My demon,
My demon,
How you have played me!
Treating this as if it was a game.
Tugging my heart and leading me along.
I've done everything wrong and done my part.
My demon,
My demon,
How you have fooled me!
Making me believe all that was needed was time.
Making me think my soul was worth it.
I gave you all of me and received nothing from you.
My demon,
My demon,
Here I am left falling from promised land.
Led astray by your lies.
All for the idea of love.
As I crash down, you're nowhere to be found.
Lie here, broken, bitter, and crying.
No salvation in sight.
But you reached out your hand.
Leading me on again.
Plunging me further into jealously.
Still following without clear answers.
All for the idea of love.
The longer I follow.
The more I deteriorate from my beautiful, angelic state.
Leading me to question if it's worth it or not.
"Of course" I tell myself, knowing anything - or anyone worth it takes time.
Continuing on and on.
On and on.
Catching a glimpse of my reflection.
Noticing my physical state.
Trying to hard to improve my handsomeness.
Trying to look good for you.
Yet here I am,
Dark circles,
Caffeinated heart,
and shaky knees.
Staring into my own soulless eyes.
...what have I become? Did I do this, or you?
Degraded for this idea of love,
Bastardized for this idea of love,
Defiled by this idea of love.
Yet here I remain.
By your side.
Despite my new state.
An odd aura of comfort and pain.
Seemingly the only thing keeping me sane.
 Jan 2019 unnamed
-
Untitled
 Jan 2019 unnamed
-
And I have been telling people
To never hesitate,
To always love,
To never waste time

I have been reminding people
It's okay to cry,
It's okay to care
It's okay to show affection

I have been urging people
To help the broken
To pull the down
To heal the beaten

But all these are just excuses
All these are lies
I want people to save other people
*I just want people to save me
 Jan 2019 unnamed
emma jane
If you don’t love yourself then who will?
My confidence, you were out to ****.
Mirror mirror on the wall who’s the weakest of them all?
That ugly, horrid, wicked girl tangled up in truths and lies.
Her reflection twisting with her mind.
Older poem
 Jan 2019 unnamed
yúyīn
Everyone comes with scars,
But you can love them away.
I told you that I wasn't perfect,
You told me the same
'You don't get it, I-"
'Shh, I love you, imperfections and all',
You said
But a month later,
Everything changed
You looked at me with disgust-
Like I was **** on legs
'I'm breaking up with you',
You said
'Why', I asked
'You're not perfect, I don't love you'
Hysterical sobs, at the loss of-
What I thought was love
'But I love you!',
I screamed at the closed door,
For you walked out on me
Your previous words meant nothing
I'm not worth loving, why?
The cuts on my thighs?
My eyes full of hurt?
My mouth full of lies?
The pain you caused,
Hurt more than the fresh cuts-
I just made
These were dedicated to you
Etched into my skin,
The perfect reminder of the pain you caused
'I love you' it said,
Used my blood to make-
a small heart on my tear-stained cheek
Then I slashed both wrists
They were dedicated to you
I love you
Hours later, remembering something-
You left
Found me lying there,
With the note cut into my hand,
'I love you' it said
The perfect reminder of the pain you caused
 Jan 2019 unnamed
Pyrrha
I've been wondering since the moment you left
What those feelings that I had meant
Did they have a name and was I to blame
Why I felt that way and how to make it go away

I know now that it was never my fault
You hold all the blame and I curse your very name
I feel betrayal pull itself through my being
As the word leaves my lips in a whisper

How could I ever love someone who mistook discomfort for fun?
How could I trust someone who's eyes wandered as they were with me?
How could I think he loved me when even after a year his closest friends did not know me?

It didn't register to me that I was angry or that I was sad
I thought we parted on mutual terms
But you weren't satisfied by my lack of suffering
So you came back to make it clear that no part of you is capable trusting

All you've ever told me
All the "I love you's"
All the "You're my world's"
Hidden inside every word
Was a lie
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