When I raze each hurt
Brought unsolicited before
Again she rises, to settle the score
I longed for her demise
To beget the repose I sought
While time took its toll
For the sanity I fought
Then came the day, of her passing on
My thoughts to myself,
“Now all pain, be banished, and be gone!”
I cannot recall such a bleak day in May
A dismal rain cascade down
Wretched contents befitting
In that coffin be found
Things buried beneath earth
As expected to stay
But haunting and demons
By such rules don’t obey
As done, time and again
A pleasure of mind quietly slips in
Her malice not lost,
Contentment not to be held
In a fiendish, heinous way
Even now casts her spell

I have lingered in the shadows of deceit
Where the bonds of love and kindness never meet
I have tasted every tear ever cried
In the face of honesty I have lied

I have let love slowly fade away
And arms stretched out in need I kept at bay
Acts of kindness and forgiving I did deprecate
Links to the past had sealed my fate

And I have cried alone

A storm doles out this dismal night
Rain drops drizzle down cobblestone course
Beast and bird burrow safely till light
No stranger to me, this tatty leather chair
Shadows dancing, cast the flickering fire
A creatures den, for the wretched a lair
Hoping of hopes, dreaming of dreams
Of such I have lost all desire
Rain knocks on my door,
Gloom enters once more
His attendance perceived
Lest my sanity leave
By the string that I cling as before
I long to surrender
The ability to remember
My fall into torments of hell
This chair, the fire, misery befall
The devils that dance on the floor

Bury my soul in autumn leaves
So that the wind might blow away
Memories of mistakes I made
That breaks my heart today

Sticks and stones may break the bones
But words can crush the spirit
Raise the bar but once again
And I’ll still try to clear it

Brothers and sisters I had none
The start of father’s passing had begun.
As I, only one, and left with the chore
To watch over and care
Till his heart beat no more.
I pondered the former
And what transpired before.
My time spent brooding about
Things as his son I felt he left out.
Inspired by wrath, goad by disdain.
Spurred on by bitterness
My heart stayed the same.
When his time drew closer
And the death rattle had begun.
His last words spoken, “I love you my son”

Brothers and sisters I had none
The start of father’s passing had begun.
As I, only one, and left with the chore
To watch over and care
Till his heart beat no more.
I pondered the former
And what transpired before.
My time spent brooding about
Things as his son I felt he left out.
Inspired by wrath, goad by disdain.
Spurred on by bitterness
My heart stayed the same.
When his time drew closer
And the death rattle had begun.
His last words spoken, “I love you my son”

As I lay
Barely sleeping
Echoes in halls
Of softly creeping
Footsteps only
Heard in gloom
Endings always
Come too soon
Someone once
Seen before
Someone now
To see no more
Daylight ends
Nighttime falls
Then once again
Echoes In Halls

A new season arrives
Then makes way for the next
Each bestows the gifts
I’ve come to expect

Like trusted friends
That I can count on
The next one arrives
When the other has gone

When the season of love
Unexpectedly arrives
The spell that it casts
Takes the heart by surprise

And when it departs
With the love that it took
All that’s left
Are flowers in a book

It’s a night of easy recall
When I was a guest
Of hells Halloween ball

An extravagant arch
Cased elaborate, forested doors
Plush red carpets
Festooned hell’s ballroom floors

Upon my arrival my eyes observed that day
The carved relief’s on the doors as adorned
Of souls gone astray

I peered in the faces of eyes turned stone cold
A pack with the devil
For the contracts he holds

Great chandeliers, baroque ceilings high
Crystals fashioned
From the pain of the hopeless
And all the tears ever cried

At long tables laden with the feast of the night
Hearts of the wretched and unholy
Daemons consumed with delight

Each soul's deeds tallied
And their virtues as well
An eternity spent in heaven
The balance sheet would tell

The wretched and unholy
Sent to the bowels of hell

I screamed into the canyon
Forgive me please forgive me
My voice echoing off its walls
And all that were left were memories
When but from grace one falls

I looked down into the canyon
To see a river flow
As it wandered along below me
With no where else to go

As you stand in hushed shadows
Would bitter teardrops sting your eyes?
While you looked down in that canyon
To see where my body lies

I stand on the spot
That once held our day
The memories I ponder
Have not faded away

Time has not dulled
Memories as dear
As those that still
To my eyes fetch a tear

Gardens of flowers
Adorned a cobblestone way
Gently guiding you to me
As we married that day

Time, oh time
Slipping by so fast
Bouquets of flowers
Along the cobblestone path

Each one of its beauty
Passed on dull and gray
Speak of the love
That time snatched away

I trek in pace
To the beat of the drum
The tempo now slower
Than when it begun

Each new vista
Stirred a fervor in me
But time took its toll
No more passions to be

Now aged and weary
As I trudge my last track
I’ll wait to go home
When God calls me back

As I stroll along
A cobblestone path
A sight to behold indeed

Rows of flowers
Adorn each side
Embrace such beauty to be

My fondest one
That I most gaze upon
Is the one angels call Lilly

Reminiscences I hold
Of my little girl
Love unconditional
Her eyes could unfurl

The unforeseen can happen
Before given thought
Harsh words once spoken
No forgiveness be brought

Time oh time
A pain that won’t end
All I want back
Is my little best friend

Rhymes have their reasons
Time has its place
All anguish bestowed
On a soul’s fall from grace

At the darkest of dark
When the clock chimes midnight
The fears of the wretched
Fuel the devil’s delight

Each click of the clock
Greatens a freighting despair
Tick after tock
Twelve o’clock

Is almost there

It’s hard, searching inside
Not seeing the glimmer
Of a flame that has died

Fate had its way
Life steered the course
As I floated the waters
Of fear and remorse

Peering through darkness
Hoping to see
Just a glimmer of light
A beacon for me

Guiding me safely to the shore
Of the piece and serenity
I’ve searched for before

But once again
Fate grabs my hand
And pulls me out
In the water again

I get so close
Then it happens once more
I’m floating in waters
So far from shore

It’s hard, searching inside
Not seeing the glimmer
Of a flame that has died

Fate had its way
Life steered the course
As I floated the waters
Of fear and remorse

Peering through darkness
Hoping to see
Just a glimmer of light
A beacon for me

Guiding me safely to the shore
Of the piece and serenity
I’ve searched for before

But once again
Fate grabs my hand
And pulls me out
In the water again

I get so close
Then it happens once more
I’m floating in waters
So far from shore

A light that once glistened
Fade paler to dim
A love that once glowed
Sent ashes to wind
Some surprises arrive
Not wrapped as a gift
On the seas of harshness
A heart set adrift

His seas of melancholy
Washed the pain up on his shore
And offered up to him
Only thoughts of his abhor

All the things he hated
He spoke with his last breath
As I sat and waited
For time to bring his death

Will the spell she casts
In time be broken?
And the pain that lingers
Be the token
Of a soul once whole
Left torn and broken?
All hopes placed on the morrow
And that time will heal
Such pain and sorrow
As of now and forever be
Nightly dreams bestow on me
Visions of my Stephanie

There’s a place where flowers grow
And a mark the footprints never show
Where a falling leaf will float on down
To be laid to rest on a hallowed ground

Darkness fell and then moved on
Dewdrops glistened at the break of dawn
The love I thought would always stay
Whispered goodbye, and went away

I really haven’t left you
I’m only going home
Think of me and smile for a while

Feel your heart within you
And sing with every beat
Think of me and smile for a while

Walk on meadow grasses
Feel them soft beneath your feet
Think of me and smile for a while

Remember pleasant moments
Hold them deep inside
Think of me and smile for a while

I’ll always be with you
Walking by your side
Think of me and smile for a while

I really haven’t left you
I’m only going home
Think of me and smile for a while

Feel your heart within you
And sing with every beat
Think of me and smile for a while

Walk on meadow grasses
Feel them soft beneath your feet
Think of me and smile for a while

Remember pleasant moments
Hold them deep inside
Think of me and smile for a while

I’ll always be with you
Walking by your side
Think of me and smile for a while

I really haven’t left you
I’m only going home
Think of me and smile for a while

Feel your heart within you
And sing with every beat
Think of me and smile for a while

Walk on meadow grasses
Feel them soft beneath your feet
Think of me and smile for a while

Remember pleasant moments
Hold them deep inside
Think of me and smile for a while

I’ll always be with you
Walking by your side
Think of me and smile for a while

I sit under the tree
A haven for solace
It’s yet to fail me
I ponder the path
Life’s trek brought me along
Events long ago
Reminiscences still strong
A child is
As childhood conveys
Exhilaration for some
Or just dreary days
Looking up in the night
And gaze upon stars
Or just the whole black
Painted over by scars

When my winds cease to blow
And the glow of daylight
To no longer show
Will past digressions be visited upon?
Or be decided the forgiveness
That my heart has longed?
When I am laid to my final rest
Will hurts abscond from my weary breast?
Or will heartbreaks follow me
And linger for, all eternity?

An icy zephyr
Bestows the night
An empty house
A not taken heart
The fire illuminates
An unsolicited dark
The haunting embarks
On its nightly trek
At the unchanged time
I've come to expect
Appearance not subtle
From the hell they arise
All malice as seen
Flares in their eyes
Alone in a dungeon
At the bowels of hell
No respite for me
Where the sad spirits dwell