I feel useless.
I feel trapped in a preciously dangerous box
but it seems that no one wants me out
Only restrained
By the fickle hope that maybe someday I will be normal.

Like other girls.

I want to be the smartest girl  
or maybe the prettiest girl for once?

l want to be the one that stands out
I desire your recognition of my accomplishments,
which aren't too many and much to be proud of.

I want to be someone's something
That maybe leaves them awestruck
And I can't help thinking that
maybe
I am it,
but how useless would that be,
to assume I am everyone's something?

is it bad to think
you speak for me?

do you whisper for me,
are the puns in your poems
meant for me?

how unfair of me to think this,
when my mind is always on someone else
every three days.

is it wrong of me to think this?
to feel my chest warm up
to your homemade fireplace?

thoughts always rush through my mind,
if i am wrong or right,
are you wrong or right,
is this wrong or right?

how can i find these perfect places
between your words and writings?
can i rest on them,
the promises in your poems?

rain has a way of welcoming all of us
seeking to give us comfort
lettings us know that we are not alone
others are out there feeling the same
turmoil underneath their own rain clouds

how do you describe someone's smile
in poetic words?
how can i tell the person on the other side of the screen
that i crave to see his grin again
which i now only see in still moments in time

how selfless his smile is,
although he is no superman,
he rescues me from my darkness
and returns me to my safe place,
which resides in him.

do i have peace in mind
knowing that he may be seeing this
in someone else?

no, i do not have the right.
our time has come and gone,
like the shifting breeze
and the changing tide.

yes, i will still feel the caress from his hand
on my rosy cheek.
time brought his heart to me,
and i to it,
similar to how it guided me away.

this is part of the journey that i chose.
a thousand more years we may have to wait
for us to love again.
maybe then we will not hesitate,
but for now,
we wait.

Searching through millions of years yet to come,
in all those dimensions you are my happy ending.
Forever doesn't exist,
but after this life I will find you in the next.
Forever isn't the truth,
but little white lies will not change us.

Gentle lady, do not sing
Sad songs about the end of love;
Lay aside sadness and sing
How love that passes is enough.

Sing about the long deep sleep
Of lovers that are dead, and how
In the grave all love shall sleep:
Love is aweary now.