there are two types of sadness

there's the kind that i can't bare
so i watch friends
and listen to happy music
and find someone to talk to

then there's the other one
when you know you're sad
but you want to isolate yourself
and just
drown
in the pool of emotions
listen to sad music
read quotes about life
and
basically
just feel empty

have you ever wanted
to cut your wrists
so much
that you bleed out

so much
that all you feel is numb
and raw

have you ever wanted
to starve yourself
so much
to the point of starvation

so much
that your thighs don't touch
and all the fat is gone

have you ever wanted
to end it all
so much
that you dream about it

so much
because when you're finally gone
it'll be so much easier for everyone else



-k.l.

I used to do it to remind myself I was alive.
But now I can't stop.
I use to do it to feel something instead of being numb all the time.
But now I can't stop.
I used to do it to remind myself that I was still able to feel and that I wasn't just an empty shell.
But now I can't stop.
I used to do it and want to stop.
But now I don't want to.

The scars will not go away.
They will itch.
Your scars will feel like someone is grinding glass in them.
The numb parts will stay numb.
They hurt to touch.
Shaving will never be the same.
Your fingers won't work properly.
The ones you didn’t take care of get worse. Skin sags.
The scars will not go away.
Deep cuts leak.
First-aid supplies are really expensive.
The scars will not go away.
Kids will ask what happened.
People will stare.
Employers will ask if you’re mentally stable enough to hold a job.
They will get sunburnt, and stand out more.
They define every outfit you choose to wear for the rest of your life.
They are the reason *** with the lights off is the only *** you’ll ever have.
The scars will not go away.
You never get used to seeing them,
But you never forget they are there.
People touch you and you flinch. Don’t touch me there, there, there or there.
You will feel disgusting, disgusting, disgusting for the rest of your life.
The scars do not go away.
They do not go away.
They will not go away.

It takes energy to love,
and energy cannot be created nor destroyed.
Does it mean that my love for you has always been and always will be?

It's hard to forget sometimes ,
Everything that's happened
Especially when it effected me so much.
It's hard to forget the heartbreaks
The lonely nights
The times I felt like I was all I had
And even then not be completely sure.
It's hard to forget the friends
That I lost over such stupid reasons
Friends that I had amazing memories with.
It's hard to forget the reason I have these scars,
As they made me who I am today.
-te