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917 · Mar 2021
Sometime in September '17
Gela Mar 2021
I finally am letting myself be free
from the thoughts of wanting you back.
I realized what I wanted isn't what you are now,
but the one you were, when you were with me
And that is gone for a long time now.
letters from the past years
723 · Mar 2021
Void
Gela Mar 2021
It's the emptiness that's eating you inside
Keeping you awake
Staring at the dark

Looking back,
You're stuck here again'
In this blackhole that never ends

Nothing's getting better
Are we stuck here forever?
633 · Mar 2021
Letters from my past self
Gela Mar 2021
It's so effing sad
How things used to be
When the waves hit the shore
And we listened to its melody

It's so effing sad
How I thought I was your sea
You'd sail deep and hold me
You'd explore the darkest parts of me

How I wish I shouldn't have had you
How I wish I stopped you from happening
Now I'm lost at my own sea
I can barely find me
letters from the past years
503 · Apr 2021
To the one I love,
Gela Apr 2021
I hope one day, when you find this,
You'll laugh and shed some ugly tears
I want to tell you how wonderful life is,
With you in it.

You're one heck of a human being,
Your thoughts and words don't often end up well together,
Yet in between those moments,
I see your beautiful mind.

Each day with you feels the same,
The familiar warmth of a summer day
Or the nostalgic smell of coffee and cigarettes,
All those things remind me of home.

Like a Honne song would say, If only you knew.
I hope you would love yourself as much as  I love you
I'm always grateful for having your around
And I'd like to stick around with you as long as I can.
478 · Mar 2021
Late Sunny Afternoon
Gela Mar 2021
I sat down on a bench one summer afternoon
and realized; it's terrifying how much time we give away
To those who doesn't even matter to us anyway
Looking back at all those times,
I thought that was love
Yet all I felt was relief when it was over.

Summer, fall, and winter passed,
Those seasons we spent together we thought would last
Truth be told, all those days
I prayed for them to be over

Now once again, summer is here
No more yearning,
No more grieving.
I felt happier alone, more than ever.
471 · Mar 2021
Midsummer
Gela Mar 2021
Amidst the void in my life,
I found you.
And I hope I'll never lose you
Nor myself, ever again
letters from the past years
443 · Mar 2021
Spirals
Gela Mar 2021
I'm so lost for words right now.
I kind of feel empty,
But somehow, I feel relieved.

I don't know,
Should I go back,
Or perhaps not?
Would this be a waste of time?
letters from the past years
317 · Oct 2022
antihero
Gela Oct 2022
it’s a different kind of heartbreak
the one you’ve seen coming
yet avoided for too long

it’s the hurt and the sadness that comes along with it
Not after it
it’s when you realize that it is really happening
that your heart is shattering into million pieces

it’s like the inevitable is happening
yes i just listened to taylor swift. stream antihero
184 · Apr 2022
1:46
Gela Apr 2022
Sleep? What even is that word.
When the night falls and silence is deafening,
All these thoughts and unsaid feelings echo
Thumping harder, echoing louder
Now you’re tossing around the sheets
Wondering what is next
Trying to hold on to the things that keep you sane
Yet we both know, they’re not enough to keep you together
sometime in april
132 · Mar 2021
It's getting bad again
Gela Mar 2021
There's a sadness you can never define
Something that's lingering around
I hope it won't stay;
For a long time
115 · Aug 2021
Some badly written thoughts
Gela Aug 2021
What is courage without a little sense of fear
What is comfort without a little sense of thrill
All these moments matter in this life we call gamble
After all, uncertainty is what fuels it all
113 · Jun 2022
bathroom thoughts
Gela Jun 2022
all the waiting
the in-between
the sleepless nights and weary mornings
i hope it will all make sense in the end
104 · Sep 2022
Track 6
Gela Sep 2022
I can see it has eaten you alive
I slowly fear as I have seen my loved ones crumble
Taken by the darkness into someone I can hardly recognize anymore

Or perhaps this is not the same thing that I fear
Maybe a change of heart or something that has always been there
Is it right for me to predict the ending?
Or have I always been too blind to ignore the truth that I cannot swallow

Am I a coward for wanting to run away
I cannot take another heartbreak this way
Seeing someone I love circle down the drain
It makes my soul even more hollow
Listen to Katy Perry’s Circle the Drain
86 · Jun 2023
Sometime in June pt 2
Gela Jun 2023
It has been six months.
It has been six friggin long months.
But looking back,
It happened way way before those six months.

It has been this long without you dear.
It still pains me sometimes,
Whenever something happens and you’re not there to listen to my awful stories and nonsense rambles anymore.

Sometimes, I still remember you in the middle of a busy day
Whether good or bad
Those memories we had were part of who we were when we were together

Yet I know deep down,
Our story has ended
There is no way to go back
No reason for us to get back together

I’ll always smile whenever I remember
Something precious that happened when we were still together
I know it will be a long time, before I can open my heart again

But someday, I hope we’ll both be happy again
Maybe not together,
But to wherever our lives has led us to
And please do remember, you’ll always have a special place in my heart
it’s today. Congrats self for making it halfway through the year
67 · Aug 2023
Untitled
Gela Aug 2023
my heart is shattering tonight
37 · Aug 15
August 2024
Gela Aug 15
Funny how a year goes by and my heart is still shattering, but for a hundred other reasons I have never imagined would be happening

— The End —