When I say I love you more,
I don't mean I love you more than you love me.
I mean I love you more than the bad days ahead of us,
I love you more than any fight we'll ever have.
I love you more than the distance between us,
I love you more than any obstacle that can try to come between us.
I love you most.

I wasn't looking when I found you.
I was escaping. On the run.
My eyes were barely open.
I thought my life was all but done.

But you said "Slow. Slow. Slow it down.
Where are you running to so fast?
Don't you see me here beside you?
I'm not your future, or your past."

"I do not offer you solutions.
I'm not the answer to your prayers.
What I give you; absolution.
Permission to ignore your cares."

You said "both of us have problems.
Lives we'd like to start anew.
But second chances are a myth.
Some things in life you can't undo."

"But you and me, we can be happy.
We can give each other joy.
Just slow down, and stay beside me.
There is enough we can enjoy."

So, here I stay. I'm here beside you,
for a portion of the day.
No longer running. Not yet looking.
And I'm happy
almost every day.

if everyone answered
honestly
when they were asked
how are you
I wonder
how many lives would be saved

how many friendships made

as for me,
I'm depressed
exhausted
anxious
crashing
but still smiling

and one of a million

though
considering
I'm asked this question
at least two hundred times
during work
maybe it's better
we aren't honest
rhetorical question
generic response
maybe it's better
we hide

Depression has crept his way into my bones
And made a home
For rent he pays me in tears and self-loathing
(This is the richest I’ve been in months)
Each morning he sips coffee and reads sad poetry like it’s the daily news
He makes a mess of my body
He’s such a terrible guest
And I’m getting tired of his shenanigans
But he has nowhere else to go
Maybe soon, he will pack up a few things and take a vacation to some faraway place
But even if he does, he’ll be back shortly
Because I am his permanent residence,
And he is far too comfortable here
To ever move out.

I want someone to love me
like I'm the reason they exist
I want someone to spend hours
mapping and memorising
every inch of me
I want someone to ask me
about my deepest thoughts and desires
I want someone to know all my fears
and all my favourite things
I want someone to look at me
like my eyes are the sun
and my voice is the wind
and my anger is a storm
and my sadness is a
deep
deep
ocean
I want someone to lay with me
and run their hands through my hair
and be pained by how much they love me
I want to be loved so much that I feel it
wherever I go
I want to be loved so deeply
that on my darkest days and even darker nights
the love radiates out of me
and cocoons me in strength
and support
I want someone to love me so much
that they couldn't imagine a single second without me
I want someone to love me like I love them
I want someone to love me.

my mind no longer lingers on
my memories of you
my eyes no longer search for yours
and their shade of blue

my stomach no longer turns
when I remember that you're gone
my heart no longer breaks
when I remember I need to move on

I know I'll always miss you
and I'll still have bad days
but although I'm not doing great
I'm finally *okay