You always come to your defenses
Drawing your shields up
Where nobody can see the pain in your eyes
The contempt, the sorrow
You let those voices in your head seep into your bones
They whisper softly:
“Hey girl, never open your walls, it’s not time to play. They don’t want to see the ugly side of you”

You always come to your defenses
Whenever a situation
Gets too intimate
Drawing your shields up
To trick your enemies
That you got pride as bright as the sun above you
But that ain’t enough

Draw your shields down
Put away your defenses
Let people see the pain in your eyes
It’s okay to hurt
It’s okay to have feelings
It’s okay to be sensitive

Swaying back and forth
To the beat of the drum
Pounding in my heart
In the waves of the ocean

Howls traveling at the speed of light
It’s all I can feel in front of me
The salty aroma
Bittersweet and chilling

Momentum creeps in at my bedside
Shifting from silhouette to silhouette
Finding its way to me
Extending its arms
Beckoning me into the darkness
Where I am drifting
Away from the life I used to lead.

Your words shaped as spears
Lunged towards me in overwhelming flames
Everything you could ever be
And everything you should have been
Created craters in my bones
Exposing the emptiness
And discontinuity that comes with growing up

South and northern poles
Magnetize within the fire blazing
Among the sunlight up above

Where were you
When I yearned for your wisdom
When I craved for your naive spirit

Where were you
When I need an escape
From everything that’s eating me up inside
Every single night past 12 in the morning

Discontinuity grows like the roses
In the garden of the past
Blooming in shades of washed out reds, blues and pinks
Soon they will consume my thoughts
Crawling up my throat and letting out
The spears you planted in me