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I hate the fact that you and I exist
But we don't
I hate feeling like a zebra
In this grey world
I hate feeling like Atlas
The weight of the world on my shoulders
My mild psychosis
Caused by my emotions
Driving everyone else crazy
Wishing I could end the world
With me in it
I hate seeing happiness
Something I feel I'm not worthy of
I hate feeling the wind
How it boasts of its freedom
I hate the mountains' pride
Higher than anything
I hate the sea
Describing its power
Its dignity
I hate how I'm arrogant
Due to lack of confidence
I hate how I'm wild
Due to lack of courage
I hate how I'm me
Due to how little i'm me.
Wet
Oh boy, you have no clue
how I'd **** to be on top of you
and if my mind had gone,
my jeans would be undone
i want to lie on my bed with you
listening to old records
with songs about love & throwing away your life
while your legs entangle mine
let’s numb our minds
and think about no further than today
i want to taste the magic on your lips
and feel the strength in your arms
let's just ****
& forget that we’re ****** up
big city kids from broken families
looking for love in all the wrong places
let’s just get wasted
& reclaim our place in the wastelands
exhale our pain
a purple haze
feed me the smoke
from your mouth
blow it into me
& i’ll blow you
i’ll pretend your electric eyes
are the solution to all my problems
and you can pretend
as if my mouth wrapped around you
is all you need in life
forget about the guts and the gore
forget about the half written suicide note
stuck to the backside of your bedside table
which you gave up writing because you realized
once you're gone, no one's going to give a ****
never have, never will
& the fact that last night, you cried yourself to sleep
because you knew your mother was two doors down, doing the exact same thing
we'll forget about the fact that we've got no path or direction
that we're going nowhere, and we're going nowhere fast
& that we're a mix of self-loathing and self-pity
we're sad kids
belonging to an even sadder generation
let's lose control
it's better than losing our minds
i'll pull your hair and cry out in pleasure
it's better than pulling my own and crying out in pain
i'd rather kiss your scars
than deal with my own
i'd rather let you bury your head in my chest
than admit that i'm itching to bury myself six feet under
i'd rather scream your name and beg you for more
than scream at the demons in my head & beg them to leave me alone
the drugs help
but you numb me better
pills are nice
but i'd rather have you in my mouth
i'm looking at the way you see right through me
and it makes me feel at home to be around someone as lost as i am
i see your broken nails and peeled skin
and i know we're cut from the same cloth
because that look in your sad eyes
is one my own know all too well
so let’s just listen to old records
with songs about regret & wasted time
& pretend as if we can’t relate to them
*not one little bit
// are you deranged like me? are you strange like me? lighting matches just to swallow up the flame like me? //
♡ gasoline- halsey ♡
promise me that when i’m gone
you won’t cry, that you’ll stay strong
promise me you’ll never compromise
on health or education
& you’ll never stop caring
about your people or your nation
promise me you’ll exercise
drink lots of water and eat well
promise me you’ll make the most of every day
and not see this world as a living hell
surround yourself with positivity
stay away from all the hate
always trust your instinct
and never give in to fate
kiss your mother everyday
give your little brother hugs
sit outside and breathe the fresh air
drink herbal tea out of cute mugs
do things for yourself
but never forget your duties
you are a great person with great potential
and with that comes great responsibilities
make a change in this world
be loyal, honest and just
find someone to live your life with
someone to truly love, not just lust
find purpose and meaning
and do things with good intentions
offer your help to strangers
every time pain or difficulty is mentioned
promise me just one little thing
that you’ll take care of yourself and others
promise me you’ll always be
the kind of son dreamt of by your mother
be true to yourself
that’s all i ask
never let your personality
be veiled by a mask
promise me when i’m gone
you’ll continue on
show the world your true colors
& *make me proud
// tonight we stand, get off our knees. fight for what we’ve worked for all these years //

-tum mujh mein kaheen baqi rehna.
saturday night dates
turn to tv dinners

you forget when the last time
he surprised you with roses was

you no longer wake up
to make him breakfast before work

he no longer calls you
in the middle of the day
unless, of course,
it's to remind you to pick up his laundry

dressing up
is limited to social gatherings
you're in your jammies when he gets home

*** becomes routine
it's no longer passionate, more like a tiresome duty

your **** lingerie is pushed to the back of the closet
& truthfully, he doesn't seem to care much

you'd rather be on the phone
than talking to each other

you don't crave him the way you did
he's no longer interested in the world inside your head

"how was work?" "fine"
"how are you?" "okay"


he tells you he loves you
but it doesn't mean much anymore

honestly speaking, its all become a bore
being with him just means more chores

i guess that's the thing about love
it wears out
*the magic can only last so long
// like colors that fade away in the sunlight, they're nothing special like they used to be //
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