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War
The sun on a winter’s day,
The smell of salt-water at the beach,
The despair of needing someone to stay,
Knowing that they were only going to leave.

Bags packed for a long trip,
Kisses on cheeks and well intentioned promises,
The inability to prevent tear-drips,
The clouds forewarning and ominous.

The searing beauty of pure laughter,
The grin given before self-sacrifice,
The sun setting and the room growing darker,
The words hidden inside people’s eyes.

Flowers pressed between letter pages,
Uncomforting words that all meant well,
The sudden sobs and sudden rages,
Stories they’d never be able to tell.
There are feelings impossible to describe.
The feelings you get witnessing something so simply beautiful,
The bat of an eyelash, the blink of an eye,
The feeling when you know everything is ephemeral,
When you know one day,
When you open your eyes,
You'll be in a different place,
A different reality.
No more real or unreal than this one,
But perhaps more unseen.
A place where the only logical thing to do,
Even when you can't seem to find your wings,
Is fly.
When I tell people about the war in my head.
Everybody tries to tell me,
"Darling, we'll get through this together",
How the **** do you tell someone,
That these are not their demons to fight?
My glass slipper broke
As I ran away from life
I just might break too.
Everything I do is bittersweet
I have too many secrets that I just can't keep
I'm wide awake as I try to sleep
I can't find the lyrics to match this beat
I'll starve myself simply so I can eat
I'll die in the cold to avoid the heat
I hate lots of people who I'll never meet
All this love is just killing me
I wish I could never breathe
So bittersweet
My chest tightens
My breathing slows
The world stares at me
And nobody knows

I am being watched
I am being judged
I try to escape
But my efforts are not enough

I cannot move
My limbs are stuck
I feel like I’m dying
I’d rather just give up

“It will pass”
I remind myself
But for now
I can feel nothing else

**And it is crippling me
I want to be the reason you can't breathe
I want to be the reason you can't sleep
I want to be the person you wish for each night
I want to be the one who makes your heart take flight
I want to be the reason you're still here
I want to be the reason you live in fear
I want to be the one your heart tries not to miss
I want to be the one you're in love with
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