Cathyy

Cathyy Aug 2014

I said i wouldn't write another poem,
But everyone could see this coming
I'm just a heart with no home
Yet home is where i'm always running
I couldn't deal with the pain
I thought you of all people would understand
I tried to run away
But had to run right back to dive into my plans..
Its 2months til October,
2 months til it's over
It's gonna be my 17th birthday
And i was gonna disappear like
A gutless soldier
But i'm sitting here now in my cold lonely room
Staring out of the window, wandering
What happened to you,
Cause when you changed i changed with you well at least i tried
I tried to be more suited for you
And be more easy on the eye
But its not enough
And every night i remember prom
And when i come on this site
For reassurance i just feel much worse
Yeah all the hate in other's words
They're like venom to me
And we both know that if i were to become so famous, you wouldn't be jealous of me
Because i'd break and i'd cry when the pressure's getting to me
You said you loved me once so why are you forgetting me?
It's not fair for me to be broken by my soulmate and,
A bunch of people who never knew me at all just knew my voice and face
And i'd rewind the whole year if i could
Or at least the past 24 days,
Cause thats the last time when we spoke properly and when you put me in my place

But i'm gonna do great things down the line,
And i'm not gonna give up no not this time
You all hurt me too much for me to write such nice things and quotes
And i'll be either dead or maybe famous 5 years down the line i should hope

So let's just get this back to you
This doesn't feel like a poem more like a rap for you
And i'm sure you knew,
That when things got tough
I always took the wrap for you
And i hate how we're so distant,
You won't give my songs another listen cause you know they're all for you
But don't you think we've both pushed eachother enough?
Cause if i never said 'i love you'
I'd still have you in the way that i want

I'm just a dreamer..
And i think i always will be
I dream of you beside me
When the black hole's 'bout to **** me
Do you feel me?..
Cause i just wanna see you so much
So you can tell me it'll be okay
Even if we're both not
I miss you friend
But friends don't wanna kiss other friends
And friends would wanna go to weddings and be happy for them

I'm just a dreamer,
And maybe someday an achiever
But not a believer
No i don't believe in unrequited love,
Or maybe any kind of love,
No i don't..

I hope i didnt mean the last few lines of that because i do want to find love again someday.. I'm just tired right now :(

#love #heartbreak #depressing #truth #depression #life #pain #honest #heartfelt

Aug 2014

Daniel Samuelson

Holding You

All creation seems to cease
     we lie beside
With hearts like houses
     next-door neighbors
Hands like envelopes
     folded tight and sealed
Lips like long lost lovers
     blissful, close and warm
Love like a thousand red balloons
     high above the earth, ready to explode.

Cathyy Aug 2014

Who you are, to me

You say that i don't know you,
Or know of anything you're going through..

You say that i don't really love you
Or care about you
Because i say really sad things about myself and can't seem to be truthfully happy for you
But i've never loved anyone to the point where they became all i cared about, and though i can't be happy for you, i care enough to try to

You say that i don't know what the real world is like, or how harsh life can be
But I'm the one with the dark past and depression, forever catching up to me
I'm the one who lost a father in a war that could not possibly have been won
I know what it's like to lose people who mean everything,
Because i've been losing you and that's as harsh as anything

You say you're not pretty, you think sometimes i'm beautiful
Well let me tell you if you weren't in any way, as thought provoking and as breath taking as you are,
Would i really waste my time on all these poems for you?

You say that i don't know you..
But last year your favourite colour was turquoise, you wanted orchids at your future wedding, (which i may un-invite myself to) your favourite animal was the great panda bear,
Your secret talent was impersonating perry the platypus and you took 27 showers a day and drank posh tea, oh and you loved long hair.

Okay so now i don't know you so well
But i knew you,
I knew you more than time could tell

But now you're just a stranger.
The pretty girl with short hair

I cried

#love #heartbreak #depressing #poem #poetry #heart #romantic #you #hopeless #honest

Cathyy Jul 2014

Can i? .. (10w)

If i could be anybody,
i would be your somebody

Okay confession, it took me a while to realise what (10w) meant, i thought y'all were writing poems that took 10 weeks to be formed LOL but then i realised how short they were... Just 10 words ;) so yeah thats my ****** attempt lol! X

#love #heartbreak #sad #pain #unrequited #wishes

Cathyy Jul 2014

No one compares to you

Tell me was it perfect, your date..
Or were you nervous on that day,
It's just that you don't seem so nervous anymore these days..

And i just wrote a new poem saying
'I don't need you to grow'
But those words came out from another's mouth
How can a flower stand tall
When her roots have been ripped out?

Oh please could you give me everything or just maybe one thing
Just a piece of your heart that might
Not fit in his

Cause you and i will fall in love
With other people who think that
They're for us,
But deep down inside,
I just can't deny,
What is true..
That no one here compares to you

Cause you're my anchor of hope,
i'm your sinking boat
And you're my moral compass
Pointing me back home
So please don't deny
That our silent goodbyes
Meant any truth..
No not even my metaphors
Can truly capture you
Because you're so beautiful
That no one else could compare to you

.. Well summer flings
Happen here and there
And i've been caught up in a love affair
But all these guys they don't buy me coffee or compliment my hair

But with you,
I bet things are going greater than fine
I hope you're always on the greener side
&I; just wish my eyes would be less greener eyes

And tell me in a year or two,
You'll still think of me
Cause you know that,
I'd never stop thinking of you

And now i'm pushing away all these scary thoughts,
Though it's hard to just smile when i see you knowing i can't be yours
But i will fall in love,
Yeah at least one more time, if not two
But no one will compare to you

And i'm coming across as desperate
Though i'm tryna keep us separate
It's been 7 days and 42 minutes
Since i deleted you and its made no difference
And my best friends are cheering me on and calling my phone
And i would rush to it to see if it's you but it's not
Cause you're now someone else's drug
And when i'm out and all alone
I'll wander how i should get home
Cause no one else is a better compass
On those nights i came home from church, your voice gave me comfort
And on your first date i hope you weren't nervous,
I said that under the church roof is where you're most perfect
But everywhere you go, you make life worth it so i want you to always know
That i'll hug you back when it hurts less.. Cause i'm hurting.. Still hurting..

But i swear you are worth this.

Well that last poem was a BUMP but this one was more real and emotional to write :'(

#heartbreak #poetry #sad #depression #life #pain #depressed #thoughts #missing

Cathyy Jul 2014

Tattoo sleeves & Big city dreams

I thought of you when i woke up
And how you stopped my heart beating last night..
All of the butterflies in my stomach are choking now,
They're falling hard like burnt fireflies..

And i'm out of town for a whole month,
I've got a new city to wander in
But every day when i wake up
I'll wonder why you're so fond of him

Cause its been years and years now
And i'm still saving for a half sleeve tattoo,
So i can wake up smiling to an art based on you
And all the good times we have yet to go through

And it's been years and years now
And every summer i've got my black pen on the go,
I'll pen your name up on the billboards so all the busy streets all know,
And i'll pen a heart on my sleeve that keeps on beating for you

I'm writing poems with mixed intentions
I'm trying hard to narrow it down..
So i'll write a song,
Throw away the acoustic sound..
Cause all i feel is electric now..

And nothing's supposed to hurt for this long, no not this long
And theres blood from my heart not inkpen, spilled on our favourite song

But its been years and years now
And you said that change was good for us all
And that pain was something you had to let go,
But your song is all i hear on the radio..

And it's been years and years now
And every summer i feel like the sun's raining down on me
Cause i'm about to drown in other people's positivity,
I just need a way to absorb that from just me..

So i'll ink your name on a band aid
And find some new band mates
And then i'll trade in your favourite records,
For some new cd's since i wrecked yours
And i'll pen out a watch, pouring out endless amounts of time
So on my wrist it'll never say
That its 'holding on' time
Cause i can't live without you
Not even for a day
But i'm gonna have to learn how to
Wash the inkstains from my veins

Really fun to write :)
Hope you enjoy

#love #heartbreak #poem #poetry #life #pain #romance #art #on #jealousy

Cathyy Jul 2014

Autumn Leaf

Fall back down for me,
Cause things have been bad lately..
I'm a dreamer with no drive
I'm a writer with no fire..

And all the past is the past
And maybe this moment too will pass
Because we were birds without any wings,
And grew apart in the Summer Wind,
Oh..

Find your way to me, please
'Cause i want you when i turn 17
But i also want you to be happy
And i know you want the same for me

I'm just an abandoned doll,
I've got no faith at all..
And i'm a kite without any strings
Yet somehow attached, to a beautiful thing,

Oh.. You,
My Autumn Leaf,
Come back for just one *Summer Breeze.

Hmm probably my most poetic poem to date aha, i've been in a really bad place recently and wanted to write for comfort :)

#poem #poetry #broken #sad #life #hope #lost