Wash off your skin
like all the thoughts are going along
down the drain
You are not these voices in
your head
You are not the fear
forming in your heart
Or the knots
tying in your stomach
from what they said

You're more
there is love in your soul
that deserves
to be accepted

You deserve
to be accepted

Who should I blame!
What should I blame!
I am the Ground of those Feelings!
I am Holding that Heart!
I am Carrying that Soul!
                         So....
Should I Blame Myself!
Should I Blame God for the purity in my Essence!
I can't Renounce my Pleasure of feeling my Pain!
I can't Ignore those Wounds!
They are Me!
I can't be Dead Anymore!

but that was just the thing, wasn't it?

because you were spontaneous
reckless
wild
bold

I couldn't dare try to control any bit of you
& yet I love you still

you make me better
though I am still bitter

spending days
soothing the burns
upon my hands

I had been
holding things
too tightly.

you loosen my grip
help me hang on
remind me
this isn't solitary

remind me
I am not stationary
or stagnant
just starting

continuing this journey
just like I had done
all the days before
this one.

but I am not alone
for you are the hand
that helped me
and held me

you are the grip
that keeps me
from falling too far
back into the same patterns.

I worry if I write
about the way
you have saved me,
you won't want to anymore.

that you will feel
your work here is done
and you will move
slowly on.

the progress
will regress
and time will
wither us apart.

I will try to hold my grip
but I will be too weak
and my hands will let us go.

you make me see
the fault in that

and laugh
at the cynicism
etched inside
of my smile

you make me
want to continue.

so I will fill up this page
and write all of this poetry
for you-

and not care
what happens
if I do.

Crossing the field
One foot after the other,
Grass under my feet,
Clay staining my skin red
With each heavy step.

I drag along,
Instead of flying past like I once did.
My each step is slow and hesitant,
Instant of a leap and a lunge
Towards whatever the future may hold.

And grasshoppers
And little moths and fireflies
Float and hop around me,
As the sun settles behind the Earth,
And the moon rises into the sky.
The grass is green, but yellowing,
And leaves decay at my feet.

Spirals of red and orange leaves
Spin around me a thousand times,
And the falling stars caress
My moonlit skin.

I am the night time,
And I don't want to be.
I am when the wolves and coyotes sing mournful songs,
I am when the foxes and cats come out to hunt.

I am the night time,
And I creep across golden fields
As slowly as the gold fades to gray,
Where the sky touches the earth.

And I want to be warmed by the sunlight,
But I am shivering and cold,
Within my shadow realm.

I sit within the tall grasses,
Amongst the trees that sway in
The harsh winter winds.
I feed off moon flowers and snapdragons,
Yearning to find a daffodil for myself.

And the warmth of the sun calls me home,
But I want to be bask in the light,
Instead I blow away,
And I disappear.

And as I prance and spin in the evening,
Casting rays of blue twilight across the landscape,
My brown eyes catch your blue,
And while I believe you can't see me,
I hope to the moon and back that you do.

I am the spirit of the night time,
But your eyes are like the day's sky,
And I could stare into your sunlight lined iris's
For eternity upon eternity.

And with fluttering wings,
I painted you stars in the royal violet and navy sky,
I prayed that you'd make me yours,
But I was impatient
And you fell along with me

Into the realm where
Landscape meets starscape,
And the blues of the night
Met the greens of the day,
And I'll love you forever
Where the sky touches the earth.