Help me to forget my eyes.
My hands.
His lies.

Show me how to hide my feet.
My ears.
Her deceit.

Tell me how to burn my tongue.
my legs,
my lungs.

show me that it isn't my fault.
tell me that I AM strong.
burn my past.
because that was what I wanted gone
all along.

Heart’s deterioration
Soulful deprivation
Self- alienation
Mindful admiration
Pretending to be patient
Hands busy shaking
Still sorta breaking
To you in which I’m thanking
My gears are busy cranking
But yet I am silent

Smoke fills your lungs,
like the secret fills the closet.
Doors shut tight.
Nose hair coiled.
Fire burning
at the end of the stick.
Working down to scorch your lips.
Fire on your tongue,
along with the taste of your lover.
Christianity is baffled by your addictions.
Smoke rolling underneath the closet door.
the smoke swirling in your head,
love dancing on your tongue.
Waltzing with the nicotine.
Your secret is holding hands with the smoke.
The smell clings to your clothes
Like the way you cling to him.
You need him,
You need the taste,
The smoke will fill it,
Your lover’s kisses will help it,
You need.
You need.
You need…..to inhale.

I am so sick of living.
What is the point in waking up,
When all you want to do is sleep?

I am so sick of breathing.
Why bother ******* in the putrid air,
If you just want to throw it out?

I am so sick of crying.
What is the point of wiping my eyes
When I know the flood isn't over?

I am so sick of trying.
What is the point of moving
When my limbs ache from my self pain?
I am so sick.

Words scatter in my mind and I get this image
of a girl.
White dress.
Beauty curls her hair for her and the sun shines her sidewalk.
But the sidewalk wants to eat her.
Take her white dress as a condiment and her beauty as a side dish.
She crosses a crack
Feels it open beneath her feet, but precious to her mother, she leaps.
A back is safe,
A girl stays beautiful,
And a sidewalk starves.

A little boy
Maybe a bit too old
Kissing a girl with a heart of gold
He tells her "nobody can know"
then he sees how far he can go

He tells her yes
When she says no

A little boy
Maybe a bit too old

Turning a girl's heart
Into stone.

Take me to a place where the air stands still.
Where I will be but a whisper
heard only by the stars.
Where I will be trapped in my bones.
Held down not by earthly conventions,
but by my will.
Where there is moonlight leaking through every window.
Where the ground weeps for my footsteps,
the sky aches for my grace.
Take me where I am can become my own cave,
feel the serenity of being
against the feeling of survival.

I lived my life held down by chains
whips
and sour wails.
Then came prince one day
and saved me from myself.
He took me to a place
of glass
it must've been the stars
and it must've been the
sky.
But, it was only glass
it seems.
Not even fragile to my surprise.
I began to train.
to fight for freedom
for none one but me.
I let my demons
push on my chest.
reminding me of who I used to be.
friends, lovers, and enemies  
passed right through my hands
as I figured out my fate to follow
there in Adarlan.

I promise I will get better,
if you give me
time.

this clock on the wall
is my worst enemy
tick
tick
ticking away at my sanity
my eyes linger over every hand
every number
it pretends to be my friend  
my partner in crime
but if it was,
I assume that I would have more time.

My dimpy little town
is cleaning up its act
painting over the rust
wiping up the dust
and covering up the cracks
what it is trying to do
is distract
everyone from the fact
that there is a man selling pills
to your son out back.

you asked me to stay home while you worked.
I would take care of the house and the baby.
you would give me the money and I pay the bills.
I went to school and did the paperwork.
I cleaned every room.
You told me that you hated your job.
So now you stay at home while I work.
I still go to school.
I still take care of the baby.
I still clean the house.
I still do the paperwork.
I feel drowned by the promises you didn't keep.
Your video games wake me from my daydream.
Your voice soothes my anger,
but it never leaves.

A veteran
Missing his children
A gun blazing strong
Steel hats hiding what is really wrong
Fighting the devil
Or so we’re told
And we believe them
Until we get old
We salute and click our heels
And pray for their survival
Just before our meals
They fight for us
We love them forever
That was our deal
But now they are sleeping in gutters.
What happened to loving and honoring…
Our sisters and brothers?
Mother liberty is shaking her head
Because ***** the living
We only care for the dead
America, this is who we have become
But go, join the army
Trust me
Itll be fun.

I don't want to talk about you anymore
because my lips hurt.
and my tongue burns
from the taste of you.  

I don't want to think about you anymore
because my head pounds
and every single sound
sounds like you.

I don't want to see you anymore
because my sting
and water
when you are gone.

I don't want to smell you anymore
because my nose is clogged
and everything smells foggy
and old.

I don't want this anymore.

I was a woman of water
A river for a body
to flow like a current.
I was meant only to sweep men off their feet.
But never do anything but slip through their hands.
Used only as something to mop up.
But I found a man made of fire.
That turned my voice into a voice.
It was no longer a trickle.
He took my rocky heartbeat.
And turned it into a heartbeat.
Then one day,
His flames turned into a fingertip.
One that caressed my jawline
And whispered to my riverside cheekbones
Telling me to become an ocean.
To drown.
Have a fierceness of a tidal wave.
To crash anyone who hurts me.
His hand touched me like a hand inside a wishing well
And I grew the size of the Atlantic.
I carried him with me, but his flames came back.
Turning me back into a river
A creek
A puddle
A girl.
I held hands with a campfire
Burnt my skin into submission
And evaporated.
Like I’m supposed to.

My chest is yours to crawl in
You constrict my lungs
Play patty cake with my heartbeat
Make yourself a nest in my ribcage
When I speak too loudly
Or jostle too much,
You turn into a hurricane
Where I feel the rumble in the back of my throat
But I dare not kick you out
Cause you have embedded yourself behind every vital *****
Where if you go, they all do
Bye bye kidney one
Two
Bye liver
Heart
Brain
Your hands lace through my bloodstream to find yourself once again
Touching me
Everywhere I don’t want you to
My stomach
My thighs
Every place I swore to change for you
You never fret
When the times are good.
When I lose my voice for the sake of convenience
Or not gaining too much attention
Or when I don’t ask for love letters.
Or romance.
Or presents on holidays.
We get along fine when I let you have your way
Let you tell my spine when and where to show up
And when I never ask you to invest yourself in me
God forbid you go to thanksgiving with me to my family
Or to Christmas
Or my grandmothers grave
I don’t like letting myself get low,
Cause you always turn yourself into a rock
That sinks down into the pit of my stomach
So heavy
Becoming just another weight to carry

Soft vibrations
waft through the air and
touch my ears like water on the edge of the pier.
They caress and ******
as if they know that I'm close to shattering my own walls.
I can barely feel them press against my teeth
barely taste the copper laced with sugar as they slide down my throat
and can't even feel them wrap around my lungs.

A poet has his metaphors,
And an artist has his hands.
A musician has his music
A mistress has her man.
The fish have the ocean,
And the sun has the moon.
I have my books,
But more importantly,
I have you.