i am unconsiously
looking for him
in the nooks &
crevices of you .

i got drunk on your words,
drunk on the empty promises,
sipped slowly from the devil’s cup as you
told me you loved me.
i ,
i liked to get drunk on beautiful things,
on sweet nothings whispered into my ear,
on rose petals from wilting flowers that you never
bothered to buy me,
on the lingering scent of your
cologne on the bear you asked me to give
back (you eventually disregarded),
on the thread of white , silk spun lies.
on love,
while you get drunk
off of cheap alcohol,
even though you told me
you hated what alcohol does to people,
the way it manipulates states of mind
for the worst.
but i guess you’ve changed.

so i’m sitting here, watching the thunder and
lighting crash against the night sky
and i cannot help but think of you,
and the way your electric smile resembles that of lighting dancing
across the night sky, illuminating it,
your booming laugh, imitating the thunder that shakes the earth beneath me.
it is in this moment that i realize that i see you in everything i do,
you make me think such profound thoughts,
your essence serves as a muse for every poem i am now writing,
everything you do it’s so- so intriguing to me.
i see your presence in everything, even the storms that shake me so deeply.

he looks for her
between the thighs
of girls whose faces he cant
make out in the dark

if i fall in love with you
know that it won't be like the love you see on tv screens
know that my love is subtle
my love is calm, like the ocean,
my love is not backs pressing against walls
my love is not bruise-like marks on collarbones
my love is the brushing of fingertips
my love is the rushing of blood onto shy cheeks

know that when i fall in love with you
my love will not be explicit
i will not tell you i love you
i will let the shy glaces
and the interlacing of our hands speak for me

know that when i love you
you will know

oh, what a delicate soul you are
how i long to explore the halls and
corridors
how i long to be with you