I sip coffee,
black, no sugar, no cream,
and hope so badly that you see me
with my arms stiff,
my eyes burning violet,
my throat humming,
buzzing like a swarm of wasps
clearing the area;

I despise coffee
but not as much as I despise
the shame you walk with
or the silent stares
angled in another direction.
Look at me
with coffee that hurts
and twists my stomach;
it exists much like you,
a crutch to feel alive
but it only causes nausea.

I can’t do this anymore

Just let them see

Who i truly be

An angsty

Suicidal

Teen

With no life

No will

With an ******* of a dad

Who all he did

Was make me like i am today

No one will remember me

Well,they will,they’ll just

Remember me as “That Girl”

That girl who

Never got to leave her mark

On the world,like they always say

That girl who draws and writes during her classes

That girl who hated herself so much she would bully herself

That girl who wastes her energy on people she cares about,helping them

Instead of helping herself,she’s wants to save everyone but can’t,because

She “Doesn't pay attention”...

it's hopeless.
it's hopeless.
it's hopeless.
i'm helpless.
i'm helpless.
i'm helpless.

the blood on the lightswitch causes me to shudder.

you never learn, do you?

Remove all my senses
turn me a husk
leave all the remnants
into the dust
with the pebbles
before you
ask yourself this
was I all you wanted
or was there something else I missed?

Speak to me in numbers
Something tangible
Calculated
Equate your feelings with something
I can infer
Without asking you to
Work these problems over again.

My mouth is burned
By the acidic tastes
Of the orange rinds
And mistakes
Of the toxic paste
Driveled from my head
And out my throat
With haste,
And yet,
I never let go
Of the next bite.

Light me up
Burn my remains
Leave my memories to turn
To ash in the forest
Remind the others
To stay away.

Help me
I am scared
Of the men in my closet
Their skeletons wound
Like a jack in the box
So when I look for something
And the door just nearly cracks
for those I’d almost forgotten
They all come crashing down
Suffocating me with their cold bones.