If I lay blade to skin
Will I bleed out all the toxins that make me so undesirable.

If I rip open flesh
Will I tear away the pieces of me that repel.

Will the anger and loneliness seep from the wounds
Leaving me whole again.

Can't I just pretend

You are my first one.
Are you ready for some fun?
The beating of our hearts is as one.

Only you are in my life,
One day I hope you will be my wife,
For always and forever.
Me and you in love.

I wish there were words beyond the words of love. I could
Give to you. “I cherish you and every moment I'm with you."
You are the only one in this world for me.
My eyes "Adore" you. My
Heart idolizes your soul. I

Keep trying to think of words that mean “Love greater than love.”
It always comes back to your strength, patience, intelligence.
Safe to say, “You define the words “Love greater than love.”



© 2013 - 2014 Ronald J Chapman All Rights Reserved.

Trash.

You called my items trash. So what if you find them useless? So what if even they turn out to be useless to me? You still have no right to tell me what of mine is worth it or not.

Are you saying I'm trash?

Am I too wild and crazy for you to deal with?

You see me as nothing but a child, and that burns me, cuts deep, whatever metaphor of pain you want to use in this awful discussion. You look at me and see irresponsibility, but what actually it is, is difference. I am different than you. I know you don't normally have to deal with people who don't think like you do, correction, you don't normally like dealing with people, but you chose to deal with me.

If you can't simply accept me for who I am, as other friends have done before you, then I guess its time for you to go.

I began this blaming myself, kicking myself, for ******* up yet again. Always the ****-up, that Grace. But you know what? I'm getting my **** together the best way I can, and if you don't like how I function, then that *****.

I can't deal with people who can't accept me. Not right now, actually, thinking about it, not ever, really.

I have to be me right now. There is no other way, and if you cannot accept that, then I guess I cannot accept you.

Leave the undesirable and go live elsewhere.

Its sad to say that will we probably never be. I think that I do love her. Its first time in my life that I can use that word and clearly understand the power behind it and still be comforable with the meaning. She told me there was someone else and well.. that ripped my heart to shreds. Pieces I cant put back together because the damage is already done. In the end I had so much fun seeing her. We spent every moment together for 2 days and a half. My life will be hard to come back to at home. Living a life where no one desires me the same way. A world where im a undesirable.