I slog through this museum of people living their best life.
I hold my phone tightly.
Like an emotional support animal,
Cocooned in my bed.
I dig through people's lives like someone stuck in an avalanche.
The only movement I have are my fingers, swiping.
My body groans as it realizes it will be frozen through time.
It's 1PM and I’ve been awake since 6 AM scrolling.
It's hard to breathe, I can feel the weight in this Sarcophagus I built.

I force myself to focus in my own lane.
I can see someone had their heart broken,
It stands out in a crowded room like a glow stick.
Everyone can see your pain.
Everyone knows that we have been there and they regretfully have done that.

So let me stay on my island,
Barricading my insecurities and tucking them into my vulnerabilities
Until you can't see what’s hindsight with my 20-20 vision.
I’ll pile my damaged goods till it seeps out of the storage boxes with childhood toys in my mind
You will see my mind will grow calluses that built this lighthouse on my island
To let people know that I am damaged goods.
So steer clear, find your cargo elsewhere else.

So let's hear it,
What makes you think I can trust you.

Water falls as you wash me
wrapped between your legs
Your arms over and around me
Gentle and loving
as they were moments ago
in a bed where we groaned and touched and tangled
loving safely and connected
Budding trust and blooming bonds
growing closer and closer together

Waiting for the paint to dry
I want to start a fresh page
but if I do not give this one its time
it will bleed on to the next
It will lose parts of itself and
imprint where it does not belong
Patience is a virtue, perhaps this is why

I long to share this with you
To crawl into your arms
and bloom. Your love.
Open my petals
Don't pluck me from my sepals
Water me, don't hurt..

You think I am a happy person...

I know I dont trust you enough
To show you my pain.

--

She wears a smile
And shares her warmth,
She wipes her tears
And hides her scars;

You see the rainbow she exudes,
Because she doesn't trust you--
With her festering darkness
And the thunderstorm she survived.

She hides her demons
Behind masks of her strength,
And iron will--
While they devour her from within;

You will never get to see it,
She will never let you in...
No one will have the power
To hurt her - never again.

𝙅𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙚𝙫𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣,
𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄'𝙢 𝙞𝙣 𝙖 𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣.
𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨,
𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨.

𝙃𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙃𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙡!
𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 '𝙩𝙞𝙡 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙃𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙥𝙖𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙡.
𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙃𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙨.
𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤'𝙨 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙚𝙨 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙤𝙡𝙙!

"𝙳𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚏𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚍; 𝙹𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝙱𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚎!"