~Oh! Delicious Death of Self~

your un-Selfing of Life
fermented sweet,

eyes opening,
filling with
| V O I D |

the substance of the
Nameless White Light's
Nothingness,
infinitely
present

Unblinking in its
inescapable
witnessing of
The All of its
not-self

Before i met you, i thought i knew love;
that warm cozy feeling that comes from a hug
Before i met you, i thought i knew heartbreak;
when you sob on the floor and your fingers shake
i had myself convinced i’d never be happy,
i searched for any love that might make me sappy
Before i met you i ignored my oblivion…
oblivion.
oblivious to who i was, i created a mask.
a mask to cover a personality i knew nothing about,
a mask to hide all the feelings i wanted to ask.
i tried to fit in with the girls who were loved,
longing for attention, but aside i was shoved.
Before i met you i feared the world,
like every other lonely 14 year old girl.
Before i met you i feared who i was and who i could be;
feared their opinions and who might not like me.
i had heard plenty of love songs, before i met you
and told myself junior high love was real, an excuse to feel blue.
When i met you i needed no excuse,
you taught me to let all of my emotions loose.
my happiness and sadness were, like my name, and deep and free ocean,
you taught me love and you enhanced every emotion.
i found myself in your dark brown eyes,
within them i could see limitless skies.
your big happy smile i’ll never forget,
your whole being is something i’ll never regret.
when i met you came sadness and true love,
a lesson about heartbreak  and laughter sent from above.
my angel sent to teach me things school never could,
never thought i’d fall in love, though with you, i would.
i knew you were bad for me from the moment we met,
but curiosity killed the cat, so with you i went.
Now since i met you, “thank you for loving me” is all i can think,
as blood, sweat, and tears all pour down the sink.
But since i met you, i wear no mask,
within you, i found myself, no more questions to ask.
Since i met you, i don’t long for attention,
in my head i remember the help you would mention.
Since i met you, i no longer fear their opinions,
they’re all sheep anyway, society’s minions.
Since i met you i don’t even listen to love songs,
each love is different i write my own to rips of bongs.
Before i met you, i didn’t know how to care,
since i met you, i learned that’s because caring is so rare.
So thank you for teaching me the greatest life lesson,
not every person we meet is meant to be a blessin’

I planted wild
Flowers in the night
I shed tears
That embrace the seeds
That will blossom
Into my heart ❤️✨

stars align in
a blanket of
        future snow
dusting time's
plateau with
        a smear of
red paint across
the fallen angel's
        face shedding
tears in the naked
light from the
        hollow of a
mirrored heart
playing shadows
        like a work
of art

it's an expansive
drama of forgotten
         leagues keeping
memories in silence
between the ravines
         of what has and
what has yet. digital
ridges serrate the
         landscape of quiet
burdens borne by the
beings of beastly
         countenance
counting seven in
perpetuity in honor
        of the bell that
tolled so long ago now.

there is a low roar
bellowing from the
         womb of novelty
coming to upset the
balance bristling with
         charged particles
of transmutation and
flashing in a dance of
         lightning from
the void. born from
eternity to create in
         time those wildest
dreams from the
darkness of God's mind.

Love that is pain, the unspeakable
joy of the heart, a transformation

and here in this world cruel of men,
it is to love that is to suffer;

And so when you love with all your heart
with all your soul,  with all your mind
with all your strength,

so is the suffering sweeter the water
deeper the well, dug into the earth
where walked the prophets;

But we can die a hundred times on the cross,
for there is no love that does not heal, and

blessed is this sky under which
such a thing as love blooms;

Risen, we live, when in suffering we die, loving
such is the gospel of love we contemplate tonight.