Grit down deep, the final dregs
Looks like I've lost sleep again
Burning fumes, and barking dogs
With hopeless reminiscing

Home is where my pillow is
And not where I can find a friend
So why spend time still wondering
If luck had never left me

When the smoke hits my eyes
Eyes then close
I left long before I last saw you
And your siren memory calls to me
A beckoning to a reckoning
Of
No closure
Smoke billows and stings
Like the memories of what never happened
Memories of maps you drew
Guiding me to my next destination
But
I forgot where I had been
I regret my lack of sight
Perhaps the smoke was in my eyes
Perhaps
That is why

My fast racing mind
Unbridled zeal for the past
To fix far gone acts

I need some space
I need some help
I need to put
Thoughts on the shelf
They circle round
My ferris wheel
Dark memories
And fear I feel

My mind is like mud
   slow, sliding down
      a
         H
               I
                     L
                           L

I feel like
      my brain
and all the
      canyons
are being filled
      with

   memories
I
don't
want

Like last time
Rather be outside , forgiveness a must
But it must be,  im not brave
Not scared but bars never bend straight
Trippy addida back on the record ,but for the record you use to say yes
___________
Cry in the dark , where the eyes cant see
See seas of stares ,fake cares, full house full of fools and that one girl in the yellow blouse , kinda cute
Kinda blue
Kinda new
Function funk , played for trippy ima go ona trip
Cry in the dark
_______
You use to, but is use to ,not like the use im use to
But i guess it's usefull ,truthful , told through lip gloss
****, glossy lips
Glassy eyes
Yellow blouse
You stick out
Kinda cute , but is through, we met
We meet ,its sweet ,dont sweat
eyes crept
Base in a rusted red revolver , shrink tell me im not crazy
Crazy bout a boat with her on it
Her like want it, want it but cant front it
Let's jump bus , stunt it
Hit ramp ,know what bumb it
Bunny hop jump on the cares, ima rot
Prime time

I'm full
Devouring eons of blank air
Devoid of noise or sounds of speech
An all consuming force
Gorging
Digesting

But this has been poison
Sickening my mind
Breaking it down

Believing it with each bite
Hearing the calm nature of silence
Hearing it's preach of peace

I've written the silence with hatred and pain
****** hands holding a knife to the page
Gorging on my own pain

Reusing my suffering mind to escape
Immolating my thoughts with repetition
All in the silence of my mind
Not a soul hears me
Gorging on my own pain

I’d hate to think of me as an afterthought.
A one shot glimpse of the past, like a flash of memory bursting into your mind when you see something familiar.
Maybe it reminds you of a certain time or place.
Just a second we might have shared.
But then it’s gone and I’m out of your mind again.
Not even a second thought.

I’d hate to be one of those people who can’t let things go.
That linger in the past .
That dwell on what if's.
Reminiscing about better times and youth; lost in drunken rambles to the wall.

I wish I was one of those men in one of those  movies.
Always knowing what to say and what to do.
Maybe I would have known  what to do then.
Maybe I would know what to do now.

I don’t want one of those happy ending.
I just want to be decently happy.
Is that so much to ask?
For decent happiness?