Eyes scan the memoirs of an existence through numerical sequences

The conquering emotion is sadness

My heart flickers down onto the scale
teetering between hope and damnation

Oh,the weight has been heavy

May you find someone with wings
in time,to bless you with better dreams.

"Getting sick of married life?
Tired of your ageing wife?
Well, you can create her face anew
With plastic skin and pink tissue!"

"Yes, in only three short days,
She'll be worthy of your praise.
Just send a cheque to this address
And trust us, friend, we'll sort the rest!"

The bill-boards scream in the night
As wolves in the canopy.
Like lasers, they seethe and cut
Through the diamonds of your wet eyes,
Convincing you all too soon that
You are not already perfect.

Trapped by the skull
…
That's a solid limitation.
Neurons I could count
to the last and every one.
These processing units
are of a finite amount.
Meaning we know nothing more
than what fits in that skull.
...
Though
Connecting collective wisdom in our environ
enables us to do more than the bare individual.
Ahhh, all so wonderful. But you see what I mean
We can't stand up against an unlimited cognitive machine.

I feel like my brain has put an ad block on emotion
And when I try to reach out for you I see a pop up warning me that No! This function cannot be accessed whilst an Ad Block is in use.
So, I try to uninstall and reset the browser but I wake up just the same.
An empty shell of technology, faulty wiring falling into the hands of those without the qualifications to find the on-switch.
A brain both in standby and overworking, an overheating of wired vessels working overtime to provide life to a barely-functional heart.
The quiet murmur of my breathing the only reminder that there is still something behind the blank screen.
You try to keep your patience but I know you want to just throw me to the wall, an excuse to replace my shattered interface with the newest model.
A model that doesn’t feel like it takes them 3 years to get out of bed every morning, a model that doesn’t seem to contract a new virus every day.
Maybe I’m just tired, maybe I’ve run my course, maybe I’ve accidentally encountered malware. Maybe I am the malware.
Or maybe, my brain has put an Ad Block on emotion.
And when I try to reach out for you I see a pop up warning me that No! This function cannot be accessed whilst an Ad Block is in use.

What you are by experience in life,
is not WHO you are inside.

Never forget that,
you were someone,
before, -hand?