That which I do not understand
is a reason not to follow,

And a reason not to follow
is a reason not to care.

A reason not to care
is a reason not to live,

and reason not to live
is a reason to say the words
that are equal to ¨Farewell¨.

I will no longer let you control me.
I will no longer listen to you.
I will no longer believe what you say to me.
I will no longer do what you want me to.
I will no longer pretend to be happy when you're around.
I will no longer accept that I can't get away from you.
I will no longer carve a smile into myself just so I can be happy.
I will no longer hide away from everyone just to be with you.
I will no longer believe a blade is my only salvation.
I will no longer think death is the only way.
I will no longer call you my only friend.
So, I'm sorry depression but this is goodbye. So long dear friend, it wasn't fun, but I have a life and I intend on living it.
Goodbye, thank you for showing me what isn't worth doing in life.
But most of all, thank you for the experience.
With love, Stephanie Bracey.

Where I was, was bad,
But where I am is worse.
I feel like they’re taking away who I am,
Filling my bloodstream with anti-depressants,
Forcing me to become someone I’m not
Someone I don’t want to be.
The fact remains that my sadness defined me
Struggling against the medication
Desperately attempting to hold onto the part of me that’s me
Wanting so badly for my days to mean something
Instead of the same bland depressing schedule I face everyday
The pills do nothing but supress my suicidal thoughts to my subconcious
So I'm forced to fake a smile, one unlike any other.
This one is to keep them from increasing my dosage,
And I'm scared.
I've never felt so alone
This is what I get
For asking for help

Sometimes when I'm driving
and I'm alone
I say out loud
"I wish I was dead"
without thinking about it

...
….You make me want to return into the shell I already broke out of.
I hope you
Your
You’re happy
Because it is now a cave. From which I will spend eternity.
Congrats. Congrats on showing me the world for exactly what it is.
A place. A dwelling.
A dwelling for those who talk against the slow, the weak.
THE RECOVERING. THOSE WHO WISH TO GROW.
Those who have nothing but good intentions. Intentions not for themselves but. For Others.
Congrats.
My soul is as rachet. As hated. As Hatred.
BECAUSE OF all things that came: Your gossip. Your rumors. Your hidden enigma….*ehem agenda
…
Got to me. Broke me in front of reality.
Naked and bounded by nothing but deceit. Discord.
I call on Shiva...but now..
...Jesus.
Please. Show me the broken way. The broken way back to glory.
If nails strike me down. I’m willing.
I’m willing go further. Not to death. But to suffer. But not suffice or succumb.
Because I'm giving in again. I’m giving in...again.
“And I’m just holding on for tonight, On for tonight, On for tonight”
“Help me, I’m holding on for dear....”
LIFE

And I decided
LONG AGO
That I wont.
***** THEM

!!!
…. “I’m gonna swing, from the chandelier, the chandelier”
“I wanna fly”
“Like a bird in the night”
Watch my tears as they fall
Make rain a ghost of
A proof
Of the broken
Broken glass, broken mirrors
Broken bones out of
Words
syntax.....
...