Maybe someone will notice me.
In the way I want.
Someday someone will notice me,
More than naught.
Maybe I won't feel lonely,
Inside my shell,
Someday I won't feel lonely,
Inside my hell.
Maybe I will die,
By my own hand,
Someday I will die,
Don't you understand?
Maybe it will get better,
Than it is today,
Someday it will get better
Or so they say.
Maybe I won't get bad,
Like I was before,
Someday I won't get,
A face in the door.
Maybe someday starts today.
Where I will feel well
Someday...maybe
I'll escape Hell.

Her head silently dwindles on a cold plush pillow,
looking into the eyes of her perfect bliss.
An afternoon made from happiness,
a simple Sunday and a drop of Heaven.
Lying down, the August serenity making her blush,
The echo of the pleasing bashful breeze,
A slow pluck of eternity on the strings of love.
Grasping one another's hand,
Vowing to never let go.
Her beautiful eyes glossed in his desire,
A last warm and subtle kiss,
the final memory and the first chapter,
of love vanishing into the abyss.


What will you remember?

When the oceans are still.
When there are no wars.
When the sun stops shining.

When its all over. I'll still hear her voice.
Forever is a scary place,
but I wouldn't want to go there with anyone else,

but you.

When life takes a halt,
that is just the beginning.
My Heaven is simple,
I call it Sunday with you.

I don't know how or when you became so important to me, so much that you've changed me without asking me to. For good or bad, I changed who I was because I was afraid you wouldn't like me for me, so I tried to be someone you'd love, and the fact that it didn't work isn't the worst part, the worst part is that I didn't realize I had changed until you fell in love with someone else, someone who reminded me of someone that I used to know, someone who was not afraid to speak, to be herself, someone who brought joy into your life instead of letting you bring bitterness into theirs. I used to be a lot like her, maybe if I'd been a little more myself you would have liked me, but now I'll never know that because I didn't stay true to myself.

Now that I think about it, if I had been 100% who I was when I meet you I wouldn't have changed, I don't know exactly when I stared letting society tell me how to be and how not to be, what to say and what not to say, what to upload and what not to upload because it wouldn't get a lot of likes.

I keep telling myself that I'm strong and that I don't need anyone and that no one can hurt me, but if I really were strong I wouldn't let society affect me so much it'd changed me completely, I wouldn't be so afraid to love and get hurt cause I'd know I would be able to get back on my feet and keep going and keep trying, and I would be able to go trough life leaving pieces of me behind but without emptying myself, filling others and making them better without getting worst, without getting lost, because that's what I've done, I've lost myself somewhere on the way and I don't even know where to find me, I've given myself to others who didn't even want me and didn't give anything back, so now I'm almost empty, because I told myself I was strong enough and I wasn't.

I hate the fact that I'm writing this cause it makes me feel weak, if someone reads it, they'll know I'm weak and sad but the truth is I'll be weak and sad even if no one knows it, even if I don't admit it, I'll still be at home, watching movies not wanting to go out or do anything like I used to for no appearing reason, not wanting to do anything I used to cause that's when I realize how much I've changed and how lost I am and how hard it is to find me, how hard it is to try and act like I used to cause it doesn't feel natural anymore, so maybe just maybe if I tell myself that I'm weak I'll realize its time to get strong again, if I tell myself that it is okay to be sad I won't have to hide for myself and get even more lost, maybe I'll be able to make a new path for myself, keeping the new things I like and maybe that path will someday somewhere cross with the path where my old self got lost and maybe I'll be able to keep the new good things and the good old things in a new combined stronger path, and maybe I won't let anyone carry me out of my path again.

I don't blame you or society, I only blame myself for letting it affect me so much, but it is okay, I have to tell myself it's okay and that I forgive myself and that now is time for me to try and build those paths, but in order for me to do that I have to accept that I'm lost and I'm weak and I will get strong, not tomorrow but someday.