Tossing and turning
in this lonely bed of mine,
my heart is heavy
with the ache of missing you.
I crave your delicate words
like I crave coffee in the morning.
My soul feels vacant
without your lingering presence.
Time is ticking my life away
as my thoughts echo your name.
My eyes bleed out the bitterness
I've latterly felt towards you.
I'm still writing about you
and you haven't read a word.
I couldn't sleep because I missed Fahad so much.
Every morning I wake up early.
I hate getting up, but a lay in is just not for me.
While the others in the home sleep, my mind starts to race.
Out of this warm and cosy bed I get, and around the house I pace.
Before much time has passed boredom gets up and takes it’s terrible place.
The silence of the house is deafening, almost like its screaming in my face.
Every moment that passes by has all gone to waste.
If only I stayed in bed this morning, rather than evacuating with haste.
Maybe then I’d be less bored, or at least no longer be awake.
But here I am awake again, like the sun and I are in a race.
One day I’ll get to sleep in, and wouldn’t that be great?
To have a restful nights sleep may be just what I need.
But the universe has other ideas when it comes to me.
It wants anything and everything for me.
That is, of course, with the exception a good nights sleep.
My never ending battle with sleep
There is a light that likes to turn on
when I lay my head down for the night,
toss and turn with my dreams now forgone
no matter the yawn, this bulb is bright
not with so much as ideas but, words
and small phrases that I rearrange
that will fly away and cause me nerve
so I spread their wings, pin and arrange
their beauty captured and put in frame
so finally I can hit that switch
and try to win at this sleeping game
I will wake up in a few, poem rich
and so repeats the boundless cycle
capturing metaphor butterflies
in this restlessness bed of idyll
sleep late, wake early, a compromise
10pm seduces me
like a siren luring
promising me peace and quiet
but she lies
my thoughts are amplified in the silence
and there's no distraction from the numbed pain
I lay here rubbing my eyes
and throbbing temples
contemplating why I don't just sleep
but she whispers and summons
all the monsters
under my bed
One more sleepless night for me
Haunted by every mistake
I'd rather be in dreams, asleep
My mind forces me to stay awake.
My eyes wide open against my will
The hours tick slowly away
I anxiously wait to drift off
So I won't have to suffer the next day.
My brain races, wonders, explodes
Wandering beast of demise
Meandering along its determined path
Despite loud echoing cries.
Each wretched nightmare I undertake
Is while sleep provides no relief
I lie in silence hoping for
A bit of rest, no matter how breif.
At last, my head breaks free from chains
Dozing, I'm happy I win
Dreams only last for so long
Until the next miserable day can begin.
Sleeplessness is killing me
Now that I've lost sleep
And the opacity of the world is decreasing rapidly
I'll slip into a state of luma-scale
And with graceless hurdles
Create a senseless hullabaloo
Behind the paper screens of reality
As just a silhouette
In between Somber strokes
Inside the lips of joy
This is where poetry lives
Somewhere a tap drips
and my pillow is wet
drenched, i lay in this body of water
sinking deeper into my sheets
my head is an anchor settling on the ocean floor
**** on a memory that floats on the ocean surface
getting sun burnt and faded
drifting further and further away from my unmovable ship
forgetting me in between the coral heaps
the lonely soul that couldn't stay afloat
after her captain jumped ship to sail another boat
Care-charmer, Sleep, this night thou hast no power
To rescue me unto oblivion,
T'unfetter me from ticks that count the hour
By magical enchantment, sable Djinn;
For Care, himself to thee a worthy foe,
Hath been conjoined with Grief in fast alliance,
And Grief with him hath brought his sibling, Woe:
They mock us with triumvirate defiance.
Pacted, these fiends assault me in the night,
The fort where we with Silence once did lie;
Although hast thou great strength, a threefold might
O'erpowers it with allied cruelty.
They cruelly stole the day I shared with Glee,
And now they sack the night I've shared with thee.
the salty tears streaming down
my tired eyes taste of defeat,
I look myself in the mirror
each day and ask how
will I make it to tomorrow?
I’ve done this everyday
for as long as I can remember
yet somehow I’m still here
An ode to the hardest months I’ve lived through
from broken sleep,
Guess you've really got a hold on me.
makes the heart grow stronger,
Or is it fonder?
I'll never know unless I get some sleep.
Guess it takes longer to heal than I thought.