Impervious.
The defense of age.
Our hearts become small.
We’re loathe to engage.
We put up a wall.

Impervious.
In an armored suit.
Seeking protection.
To be resolute.
Avoid connection.

Impervious.
To one more heartbreak.
We like to think so.
But that’s our mistake.
Our hurt makes us grow.

Impervious.
I have tried to be.
It was just pretense.
For your love found me.
It pierced my defense.

Impervious.
Was never a thing.
I was closed off to
Almost everything—
Everything but you.

I fall from grace
upon jagged lands
and demand to be
the center of attention

Yet an overwhelming need for self evaluation
causes me to close my eyes,
shut doors I've just opened,
and breathe in the stale air of loneliness

I really am better in your dreams

I'm seeing you tonight
And it's been quite a while
Four days to be exact
I remember a time when
It drove us crazy
To not see each other most days
I act like I don't care
Sometimes it feels like I don't
But I feel the sadness looming over me
How can I not when
I know I want to see you more?
Life isn't that easy though
It's best not to feel
Not to care
A self-protective coping mechanism
That lets me function as human again
I'm nervous to see you
I don't know how I'll feel and
If I really am compartmentalizing
I know it doesn't hold up
When I'm laying next to you
I don't want to want you this much
I still want to be with you though
Just not so invested
It's unsafe
It's uncontrollable
And as someone who needs to feel
A variation of both of those
I'm terrified that seeing you
Will destroy these walls I've built
Until I'm left with nothing but
Myself
and
My feelings