Come, dearest love, let us speak tenderly to one another.
Sit here, up close, where you can hear the trembling of my breath.
See for yourself, I’m defenceless too.

Come, let us create a new and lasting peace between us,
end this tug-of-war, this battle of wits and wills that has beaten us both,
and agree never to trample or harm each other again in any way.

Come, let us forgive every trespass, mistake, betrayal and abandonment,
every unfair expectation, ignorant presumption and misunderstanding,
every accusation, true and false.

Come, let us rediscover the deep love we’ve always had for one another,
the love we lost sight of without realising,
the friendship we drifted out of without ever meaning to.

And from now on let’s tell a brighter story about ourselves,
a story that holds a light to our gold, celebrates our goodness
and dismisses our failings with nonchalant, cheerful compassion.

Come, my dearest love, let us speak tenderly to one another.
Sit here, up close, where you can feel the soft warmth of my skin.
Rest in this closeness, and let’s be the best of friends once again.

Amen.

Let it be known, be a knot in the records of old, that I have never existed in these planar woven threads of nonexistence. In this moment, as I stand on the threshold between memory and oblivion, it is my deepest desire, my twisted adoration and immolation from self-loathing, to be remembered. Yet forgotten in that very same breath, I wish for nothing more. To be a ghost to those who knew me, to those who never will.

Six seconds. A peak of wrath I never thought I could reach. Fleeting moments of blinded redness and tunneled thoughts that I may make mistakes with impudence. Oh, how I would love to throw myself off the cliffs for the granted clarity thereafter. By a reason so meager and inconsequential, I lost respect for him whom I truly knew since birth and him who lived my life; for six seconds I did not know who I was.

Six seconds to unmake everything I was and everything I thought I could be. An instance that cracked the thin veneer of who I’ve been pretending to be my whole life - a good person. I wish I could have turned away but didn’t. Six seconds where time itself turned inward, coiling around my thoughts, suffocating reason. The world narrowed, all else fell away, and in the tunnel of my own making, I became him-the stranger who wears my face but speaks in unfamiliar tones I could never have spoken.

Now, as I stand on the precipice, watching the remnants of my own actions reflecting from the void. A mirror of who I was and who I might become, I am left with a question I cannot answer. Who am I, truly? Am I the one who lived a life of restraint, holding back the tempestuous intrusive impulses? Or am I the one who let it loose? The one who errs perpetually without fail.

I don’t know. Perhaps I never will. Perhaps the only truth is that I am all of them—the calm and the storm, the builder and the destroyer, the one who remembers and the one who wishes to be forgotten. He is all made of these moments, these fragments of time that shape him, whether I like it or not.

Six seconds. That’s all it takes and all it took. To lose. And when those six seconds return—and I know they will—I will stand at the edge once more, thinking maybe six seconds is enough to catch myself instead.

if i could go back to that day…. i would
not to captive your smile or remember what you first said to me
by now you’re dead to me
if i could go back, i would hold the hands of time tight
memorize each tick
expose some more light
i would look you in the eyes with your hands ready to receive
and ignore your existence
possibly make you bleed
i can just imagine how free i would be
if i could go back i would’ve never given you the time of day
i gave it like a gift so freely and without dismay
i wish i could go back and ****** it from your hands
my heart, my time and everything in between which continued to stand
someday my heart won’t feel so heavy from regret
everyday it feels like a reset
metamorphosis amongst the pain
i’m keeping sunshine on my brain
i take everything in stride cause it’ll come full circle
someday that love i gave will come back
i find my peace in that

You acted in the best way you were capable of in that moment. Allow yourself to be at peace with this. Release doubt and welcome faith🥀.
                -diksha dhiman

Back when I had lost all my friends and the last lover sat there behind the barred door, she would gather me up with so much warmth.

      She knew I could not be without rhythm. So she played the harp for me. Caresses from hushed lullabies sitting against the windowsill.

      She wept when she saw me naked. I pretended I did not see. She bathed me in flowers and silk.

      Her touch sang mellow tunes on my discolored skin. And her eyes held my soul still, cuddled me as if I was once in her womb.

      Tender, careful breathing into my lungs she did. I looked at her. She only smiled. The air sounded an apology.