second chances 6.27.25 (3:24 pm / 15:24)
i know i deserve this
i know i did this to myself

but is a second ******* chance so much to ask for

How many times can one restart
Before they lose their beating heart?
Is there a line where second chances
Turn to ghosts in fractured glances?

Each version built, then swept away,
I ask, how much of me will stay?

My future spreads, a boundless sea,
Each wave a path calling to me
I crave them all, each shining shore

And my future stretches, vast and wide,
A thousand doors on every side
And oh, I ache to walk through them all
Yet once I choose one to open, the rest refuse my call

Back then, I thought I was making the right decision
If only back then I had my present vision

If only I hadn't done that, my life would begin anew
Numerous more opportunities I would've gotten to

I don't want to think of it as a regret, but a way to ascend
But after that, for two years, my freedom came to an end

Even now I know his soul is kind
Or is it because I wanted time to rewind?

Now I'm back again, with a second chance
But I can only see the similarity in your glance

I don't want to make the same mistake as before
Or am I just supposed to have evil in my core?

I did say I wanted a true friend
But will this be the ultimate end?

I prayed that in the future, I'd learn to think twice
But this test is most certainly not nice

So please, don't let me fail this test
Because the continuation of this story, I know the rest.

It had been three months
since I last saw my face in the mirror.
One might wonder, why that long?
You see, there is something about mirrors
something about looking at yourself
and not having a conversation
just looking, observing and looking again.
That, does not sit well with me.
What if the other man talks back?
Or, what if he comes out and strangles me
and becomes me?
I do not want to give him that power.

Today, however, I looked in the mirror
My heart clenched like a baby's fist
when I saw how old I had become
how the wrinkles on my forehead curved
as if to make a mockery of the trajectory of my life.
I had never noticed the changes
because I had always embraced the child beneath
forgetting the child had become a man
and no ritual had been done for the initiation.
I had blossomed beneath the petals but I had
chosen to ignore the feeling
Right there, I could see all the talent
and the potential I had slept on
each time I snoozed my alarm for another 15 minutes
hoping to get more rest from my dreamless state.

But you see, one cannot sleep forever
unless they choose to do so.
And this is a path I told myself never to take
for I still want to travel to the far lands
and see how the children yonder dance to the rhythm of the winds
I still want to listen to the cracking laughter of my lover
when I retell one of my old jokes,
the one she has heard 42 times so far.
I still want to drink some of the local brew at the old shelter
and dance shirtless on top of one of the wooden tables
and feel my skin vibrate to the sound of the drums
coming from the big old speakers placed in the corner of the dark room
Most importantly, I want to move away from this mirror
and stop looking at myself
because it is making me talk a lot.

I'm hardly the one
You left behind,
Twenty odd years ago;
The suit fits much better,
Now I'm in the show.
I'm not using slight-of-hand,
No smoke or mirrors,
Just running sand;
The big tent long left town.

I know the four directions,
And how my wind will blow.
And even at a four way stop
I know who has the right-of-way.
And when it's my turn to turn,
I'll step on the pedal and spin my wheels
And drive myself insane.

One thing that truly changes
No matter how I cut my hair
Or the kind of clothes I put on.
When I look in the mirror I am
still me.

Not very often do second chances
come around.
How often do things change
No matter if I trim my beard
Or let myself go and my belly
hangs over my belt.

One thing that truly changes
How quick you threw your clothes on
& left me with conversations we'll
never have again.

When I look in the mirror
I am still me
When I step outside I am still me
One thing that never changes

We used my last name
As part of being together
So tomorrow we could end it
Cash and cheap pen
Is all we need
To seal the deal
With the legal devil
But my heart's the ink
And my hands are shaking
I don't want to leave you
I still love you
Like early days full of promises
The idea of leaving the nest
To build a new one
I don't want to leave you
I still love you

take every chance you get
every single one
cause right now
all i feel is regret
for not taking that chance
on us