cracked cement ramparts,
a less than mighty bastion,
  swamp cooler overflow,
   drool down the battlement.
    behind the stockade walls,
     faceless generals barked
      orders to their private troops,
       drilled their little soldiers.
                
           “welcome to my castle.”
      
       you call this a castle?
      heat throbbing off the
     parking lot convinced me
    to chance crumbling stairs.
   and there, step four, flight two,
  i bumped into my white knight.
okay, maybe more like gray.
i’ll compr with silver.

the music that made me
feel in love stopped
halting my eyes on
his dreaming body
I could still hear
the noise of a run-down car,
his steady breaths muffled
under my chest as he
slept on my lap,
and my heart was
beating for him,
as the music started again

The ups
The D
       o
      w
       n
       s
The  median, all the ******* same.
I can't seem to grasp the Ups as actual ups,
nothing completes me or makes me whole.
Why is everything so dull to me?

Days turn into weeks
weeks into months
time really fly's when you're depressed.

ha

Pardon me for laughing,
I've learned its the only thing that can keep me from going insane.
So, make me laugh. Please, keep me sane.
For I am longing for the happiness,
in you, in us, in love.


Today is grey, yesterday the same.
it has been for months it seems.
Come open the blinds, brighten my dark life please.
I need some inspiration to keep going,
Keep me from doing what my mind tells me to do every night i'm alone.
I'm prepared to waste away, leave everything i've known,
& I believe i'd be better off away from anyone anyway.
I hurt everyone who cares about me,
i'm never doing the right thing it seems.
I don't want to live in darkness,
it seems to follow my every move though.


I need you to be my sunshine.
Please, just brighten my day, someone.