One day my young niece was showing me some photos of herself and her
  friends on her phone
She had loads and loads of these photos
I was thinking to myself I don't think anyone's taken a photo of me in forty
  years,
Then I thought what'd happen if I got famous and someone wanted to write
  my biography (would be a short book)
And they'd say Give us some of your old photos to stick in the Book
And of course, I'd have a problem, I'd have no photos to give them,
Then I remembered there was this Novelty Joke shop in town
They had a great collection of all these different kinds of wigs
I thought maybe I could buy a few wigs then stage a few photos
Pretend they were from earlier days,
Yea, I could get an Elvis wig with the sideburns, I could say that was my
  Rockabilly stage
Then I could get a big Long Hair wig and say That was my Hard Rock
  phase,
I could get a Mohican wig and say Well that was what I looked like when I
  was a Punk Rocker
And Hey! Maybe I could get one of those lovely big blonde Dolly
  Parton type wigs
I could say
"Well that Summer I was listening to a lot of Country music".

Offer up some of your dollar,
get ready,
to win, to lose
a little bit.

Offer up some of your gusto,
get on down,
to the local
gambling hall.

Offer up some of your love,
baby doll, don't kick me,
kiss me, when I'm down.

She said, "Hello. You look like ****."
I said, "To what do I owe this. . . this compliment?"
A double whiskey on the house
I said, "Fine with me, I always take the first one free."
"But you've been here all night," she said,
"In fact every single night this week."

Hope stands monstrous in the door
Can't tell if it's as it is or if it's my eyes swimming
Memory's a funny thing, because from what
I remember I never was a drunk
Just everyone on dad and grandpa's side
Cruising all the way up the line

Now, reflection's come to cast
proper shadow 'cross my heart
in clouded mirrors with lights off
I outsmart the faint voice
No hands, ******* in the dark

My heart was mine in day til night
She came and stole my life
In cold, beneath streetlight
In her leather and jeans
Like she knew just what
She wanted, and she did
I'm glad the innocence
At first kept back the fiery truth
That you were so much like me
That I was much like you
Or else I'd not have stolen yours, too

I got my converse on
My hair slicked back
My blue jeans cuffed
A brand new tat
I'm just a rockabilly boy

Conway Twitty playing in my head
Got me singing along to Maybe Baby
Feeling too **** good
Just right, on a Saturday night
I'm just a rockabilly boy

I wanna get my baby on the dancing floor
Then back to my bed for a little more
We can do monkey
We can do the twist
I'm just a rockabilly boy