I hate the person in the mirror
so you'll never hear me say that
I'm good enough
I know in my heart that
the number on the scale defines my worth
and that
being thin will make me happy
I refuse to believe that
There is hope
I'm ashamed of my body
No longer can I say that
I am worth fighting for

Happiness (Bottom to Top)

My disquieting thoughts strike at night in the wee hours
As if born along by the autumn winds and bracing cold
Persistent as a fever and fierce as thunderstorms
What can be forgiven and what cannot?
I fall asleep to another night of uncertainly

I awaken to a new day of endurance
My spirit ablaze with hope can cope
With feet steady and face to the wind
Transforming the toughest trial into triumph
Because beyond the pain the prize is seen

Lonely

but no longer
alone
I am
trying
and yet I'm not
happy
the sad in me is now
growing
my hope is slowly
diminishing into nothing
my new beginning
was suppose to be taking over
my sadness
lingering
no longer
happy
I am
lonely
but no longer

Alone

I hate my body
I could never say
I'm happy with what I see,

I need to lose weight to be pretty
I don't believe
Being who I truly am
I'm actually happy

why should i?
Take an inch here and there
Snip away till I'm perfect
Am i beautiful now?

"i want to die."
i'm the only one who survived
even if I didn't deserve it
i've lost those that matter the most
they're all gone
my family,
my love,
my friends,
none of them are coming back
it's all my fault
i know
but
my therapist keeps telling me
"i'm okay."
maybe I'll start to believe
if I hear it enough times

i'm happy now
i'd be lying to myself if i said
i'm not over you

i can breathe freely now
never believe that
the memories of our love still live in my head

i'm better off without you
you will never hear me say
i wish you were still here

i hate you
it would be stupid to assume
i still love you

My little friend is now gone
My tragic life must go on; despite that
His evil eyes and his cheeky smile still burn in my mind
He no longer exists except
For my memory of him
And I rejoiced
When I heard the news
Still I can recall how I sobbed
When he gave me his evil eye for the first time
When he hurled glass and other projectiles at me when he was hungry
When he spent hours upon hours pondering the fabric of society
I hated him
I wished
For his death
I was depressed
It was like paint peeling off a wall
It was like finding a dead leprechaun at the end of a rainbow
I was expecting some sort of remorse when he left
Funny how heartbreak works

Now read this in reverse
Because sometimes all you need
Is a little change of perspective
To truly understand someone