I can't believe that I made her cry,
I love her so much - too much,
But I'm afraid,
Afraid of rejection,
Afraid of sadness,
But I shouldn't be,
After all, I've felt all those things before,
She's the one who's crying,
Yet I'm the one that's hurt.

Rejecting is
EASY
But, getting rejected is
HARD...

Today I looked in your eyes and felt the words at my lips again
They tasted so sweet as I choked them back because the last time I said them all you could say was
"The feeling is mutual"

Most people were conditioned
To think in a certain way.
Some cope with it with submission
Others with rebellion.

All the same
In the end.


-- Eleanor

I want to love you
I want to mean it when I say it
But the demons inside me
giggle at the notion,
saying, honey, what makes
you think you deserve love?

You've felt it haven't you?
That stabbing feeling
Right to the chest that seems like it has
Absolutely no chance of healing
I know, getting told No is a part of life
But hear it too often and it'll dig into your confidence
Like butter bowing down before
A hot steel knife

I'm already rather socially awkward already, so getting shot down makes a bit of painful sense
But I'd trade more than a few dollars to get out of my shell, i mean what the hell it's like trying to appease Mike Pence,
But then if someone does take interest, in me I'm like a falling stock in a market you can't trust easily, because I'm like a puppy that's been kicked repeatedly trying to find a sense of self, and learn how to once again love someone else


Is it ever going to happen for this pathetic whelp?

instant retraction
retaliation of the mind
rejection is hard to understand
the underlying revelation blinding