There must be a message
in the occurrence that whenever
in a closed-up space of time
I can never sit down
to any mind-occupying activity
yet resort no matter what
to observance,
passing as unrequited passion
of someone else’s (vocation),
shape-o-thoughts and sensing,
being the music the radio is listening to, and tender stupefying approaching
to hurt questions and structures
who hold onto philosophy
and one stance.
My depth darts me over
to finally look straight
into my own eyes
instead of straying,
diverting from the claim of my proper door.
I cannot die and will not,
will not leave my higher stake
for the trash bins’,
among which we live in,
sake.

There was a war within me
A ****** terrible war - of deception - and lies - of hurtful ties that became knots in my belly and threatened to end me
Darkness clouded over - a hundred wails rang in my ears
I lost my sight - I lost my mind - only my soul remained
A soul that knew only your name - it invoked you - again and again

You arrived
like a knight
a brilliant blue light
in all the darkness
to lift the veil
The masks fell apart in your presence
And I saw your face, pouring with unending love, so holy, so pure

The war turned into a dance
An eternal dance of us
My war cries have become songs
They flow like rivers into the ocean of you
Beloved

Extrovertism
or any other sibling
of it
doesn’t realise itself solely
through the mannerisms of
speaking,
choice of company,
activities or
similar antics.
It mainly possesses in
its hold our
mind as a way
of revealance,
as our
thoughts might cling
on it dependent,
in constant
shouting & fleeting
from Stillness,
our lone
presence
;
OR either have
‘em all ready
in conscious observation
questioning on
the inside in your
private voiceless,
conversation

to detach yourself
from others’
contact
.
it’s all,
felt sublime,
when the latter,
comes and makes,
itself a
difference
.

I

If I leave, would you weep?
Would I still be cradling you to sleep?
Or will the thought of me keep you awake?
When I'm gone, would you then know what was at stake?
When I die, you'll see the breeze
Will it make you weak in the knees?
Like maybe I did, one lifetime ago or a half
Or will you blow it a kiss on my behalf?
I don't know how you'll cope,
I don't know who you'll blame.
But of one thing I can assure you-
Nothing will ever be the same.

If I'm gone, will you cry?
Would you mourn, or want to die?
Would you write a rhapsody in my name,
Or accept denial, and call it all a game?
Please don't cry till your eyes are sore..
Accept it! Reality isn't real anymore.
Existence is a sham, now do you see?
Who do you think is dead-
Is it you or Is it me?

II

My eyes are now closing, I see the wind blow
I see the stars and the moonlight put up a fanciful show
Still dreaming of your silhouette waiting by the sea
All of the sensibility dawned upon me-
If and when I'm gone - you wouldn't care
Sure, for 6 days, in the voids you will stare
On day 7, once you down all that caffeine
You won't miss me as me, but as just a change in routine
On day 40, to the memories you'll bid adieu
As day 50 comes by, your life is as good as new

So convince me now,
Before I slash my soul with this knife
That bogus is not the only definition
To my presence in this life
Before your life fills
With unjust guilt, grief, and despair
Please learn to value me-
While I'm still there...

Noisy
  Mind Looping
Looking for its way out
As it feeds on a drama
This is not even mine.

Deep breath.
  A pause.
Some clarity.
  The mind fights.
I'm still here.
In my point of presence.
  Come home.
         We are here now.

It will wash away.
  The waves cleanse
As they reverse away from the coast
the undercurrent pulls
  back
into me.

I AM beholden to no one.
  I AM unto my own.
  I AM here for me.
  As the separation fades.
  I can see.

Death
   but no release
Empty again
  in ever more ways
But it's okay
  Don't be sorry
It's here for me
And I'm not suffering
  Something is happening here
A deeper change
    It brings me into a depth
     a stillness
Can I accept it?
  Am I ready?
    I'm allowing the change.
      cling to nothing.
When I'm silent
    it speaks.
Open up
         Listen.
   It doesn't make sense
But I don't care anymore
   It's just an experience
     in the midst of realization.
I am here
  it can serve me.
It's unpleasant now
  as I breathe my way through
But I can be in grace
as I go beyond
and see another view.

Soft Forgotten Whisper
Caressing the corners of
my truth
Stirring a sweet and gentle remembrance
It goes beyond thought,
mental comprehension,
but a solid knowingness pervades
in the tender sounds of silence
when I allow myself through
the thick façade barricades
that, at times, appear so automatic.
They dissolve, of course
with a sticky residue intact
But that sense seems to grow
Beckoning me with permeating tranquility
Stillness
Radiance
It comes to me, without seeking
I Am here;
I Am home.
Distractions attempt to evade,
through this
I realize
the knowingness does not wane,
steady silent presence
Continuous composure
In awareness.
No thing to grasp ahold
Swimming in serene emptiness
Relaxed into my creation.

I AM here
But what I thought was me is fading
which can be odd at times, to say the least

I AM here
and still living in the shading
of an old design, that's not yet released

I AM here
The many rhythms changing
As the tired identity continues obsolete

Farewell my friend
the dissolution will come to end
Now we are free
As you open up to thee

Acquired form appears ambiguous  
with true biology slightly contiguous
layered together in amalgamation
Antiquated DNA disfiguration

The patterns are broken
dynamic expression
beyond attachment
to any creation
I AM that---
I AM.